Home › Forums › Relations~~~s › Damn, ran into ex after 90ish days…old feelings abound…help?
This topic contains 35 replies, has 32 voices, and was last updated by Etrangere 3 years, 11 months ago.
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This woman was someone I got involved with and had I kept my emotions out of it probably would have been ok, we hooked up about 1/month, it was hot and that was that but both of us started getting way too attached (she has kids, I dont). I realized I was being destroyed, a lot by her but I also admit a lot of it was my own neediness/depression. She is married but supposedly in sexless/open marriage that is just for the kids.
So…fast forward 90+ days and I see her this weekend, I’d froze her out hard till now. Her friend comes up ‘K really loves you, she misses you so much’ she will still on my mind so I talk to her. We talk a long time (she tries to make out with me, old feelings of passion resurface, but I actually resist sex, really damn hard) and I lay it all out, she apologizes.
I wrote about her in prior posts, but she works as a helicopter nurse and as a former emergency medicine guy what she does seems pretty badass, this proved to be a major issue in my own mind. When we were together she bragged and bragged ‘saved this guy, did this did that’ and it tore me down, partly because ‘I’ wanted to do something like that in the military (combat rescue) but never pulled the trigger. So her existence was a reminder of my own failing in a way, and her bragging never helped.
She called me after we met, and I talked to her a while, thinking we ‘could stay friends’ because I actually like her on some level, (addiction?) but the real problem is my heart isnt really into it anymore but I can NOT for the life of me let go of her job. It fills me with envy, hate, desire, sadness, all these things. I wanted to do that, and still consider ‘maybe I should go be a nurse and try to get into that in a few years’ and think of the good times shes having, and then selfhate of ‘why is she with a loser like me?’.
F~~~ man…shes nice/caring to me in the limited capacity she apparently can be in her ‘marriage’ yet her existence physically/mentally hurts me as that reminder that I COULD OR WOULD LIKE DOING THAT. I vacillate between respect to hate to desire etc reall rapidly and know this isnt good for me. I tell myself I can do a FWB thing now because I have grown and dont ‘care’ for her the way I used to, yet not sure this is real. Then the idea of career changing to do something similar to a dream I never chased…ugh god.
Any help I’d be so grateful, thanks.
“Feelings” and emotions are a glandular condition, but nothing more. They will extinguish themselves with time, and most like they will be replaced with their opposites. Sooner or later — it depends on how you react to them — the cycle will diminish and finally end. Meanwhile, do not X do not X make any life changing decisions based on your feelings or emotions.
Think things through: What will happen to me if I chose this course?
Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?
Anonymous42Disappear like smoke in a hurricane! or eat a bag of fishhooks! Your choice! I’ve been there! And trust me, I’m never going back! Married chicks riding the c~~~ carousel have NO limitations on the absolute f~~~ery they’ll spawn! You’re dealing with a nuthouse on two legs!
It’s a no-brainer, RUN FOREST RUN!Rub one out, problem solved. Just remember you broke up for a reason, and no matter what, it’s not worth repeating! Now go and do some man s~~~. It’s gonna be painful, but it will make you stronger.
A Good Horse Will Never Return to Graze on Grass that It Has Already Passed by.
She’s enough of a whore to be cheating on her husband and you want to hook up with her?
You need psychiatric help.
Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.
way too attached
Dude you already know the deal here. You’re one-itis’ing on her, hard hard hard. No good can possibly come of this – you’re thinking with your dick & your emotions, not your logical mind.
If you keep going w/this bitch one of a few things are going to happen, and none of them are good. Possibilities include
—-“Oh s~~~ LightBringer, i’m pregnant. It has to be yours…” – secretly she’ll be over the moon for the new drama that she’s able to drag your sorry ass in to.
—-“OMG i can’t stop thinking about you. I accidentally said your name in front of my husband, now he wants to meet you!”You get the point. She’s one of a million man; there’s plenty of hot ass out there, younger, more agreeable than her. Ditching her ass – hard no contact forever – is the best investment you can make right now.
Distance is your friend. You absolutely must stay away from her. She knows that being in her presence recalls to you all the ‘good times.’ Also, face to face she can read your reactions to guide her in manipulating you most effectively. Break it off or be broken. With time and distance, your attraction for her will fade.
Stay away from her friends who would push you toward her, too. Her friends do not wish you well.
Stay strong!
Safety rules: All guns are loaded. All knives are sharp. All stoves are hot. All women are like that.
Anonymous18Personally after discovering mgtow I have nothing against a married woman who wants a take out dick for a change.
I prefer not to act going my way if I am the short changed desperate mofo the woman USES to get her fix.
There is no room for a good outcome here. It was bound to go to the s~~~ter.
Anonymous3You got to know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em.
Know when to walk away and know when to run.Thanks brothers. I have been going through some serious depression and not seeing the forest for the trees. Super caught up on emotion. I was once super logical and cold too. What sucks is I have zero female friends, and only a few male friends. I actually like people/friends but have nearly none, which makes leaving those I do have hard.
Thanks brothers. I have been going through some serious depression and not seeing the forest for the trees. Super caught up on emotion. I was once super logical and cold too. What sucks is I have zero female friends, and only a few male friends. I actually like people/friends but have nearly none, which makes leaving those I do have hard.
From personal experience. 90% of women today are emotionally immature. And thus not worth my time. The other ten percent of women, whom can handle an adult conversation, are usually too busy with their lives, and the lives of their family, to have much interaction with those outside of their social group.
In other words. Do not worry about not having female friends. They are either not worth your time. Or, they don’t have time for you.
Instead, put your energy into improving your life.
By the way, I know someone whom decided, in middle age, that he wanted to become a helicopter nurse. He when back to school. Right now, he is EMS, and he is on track for him achieving his dream. So, it is possible. But, keep in mind that the medical field requires a certain mindset that most people do not have. I am not talking about intelligence. I am talking about dealing with the ugliness of life. Day in, day out. From trying to save people whom have been seriously injured, to dealing with people dying, a lot.
Personally, I have found that type of job, such as an EMS, turns people emotionally cold. And you clearly have a fire to you, that I do not want to see burnt out.
Think about:
1. being cheated on
2. bithced at
3. all the things you missed
4. all the things you couldn’t buy
5. then mental anguishIf her friends are saying she missies you, you need to get away from this as fast as you can. Never, ever trust thier friends.
Fuck this planet.Listening to your post was like listening to a god damn woman. I’m just being honest here. I kept coming back and back to this thread to try and suffer through your f~~~ing bulls~~~, and I finally made it, so I can’t say “TLDR LOL” but I wish to f~~~ing god I could.
Where do you live? Full postal address please …. oh and your work address.
If I can’t get there I’m hoping one of the guys here can come punch you in the face by proxy ?
You have been told to get off your sorry ass and go fly, jump, travel etc …. have you done any of that?
Get you dick out of her purse and reattach it.
You ARE being played.
FRAME UP MUTHAFUKA
Stand the fk up and go be your own fking hero …. go be better … or go chase after a piece of meat that ages and wrinkles as time passes.
Wake up and smell the menapause.
she is crazy dude….
DONT STICK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!!
My peace of mind is worth more then your vagina...cunt.
I have been going through some serious depression and not seeing the forest for the trees. Super caught up on emotion. I was once super logical and cold too.
Ive been there too brother. It is so very hard and it hurts like a bastard. Wish you well and don’t ever feel afraid to vent here. When I went through this, I had no-one and found solace in the bottle. Don’t do that!
What sucks is I have zero female friends, and only a few male friends. I actually like people/friends but have nearly none, which makes leaving those I do have hard.
Your like me in that sense, though the difference is I like it that way.
Who wants female friends? They bitch and moan and you have to listen to their Greek tragedy of a life that’s all an act.
A few male friends are great if they are genuine people.
Less people = less baggage bro
You can have any woman you want on the internet or you can hire a woman to leave after the sex.
Why buy a boat and spend a lot of time and maintenance on it when you can just rent one?
Courage is the key to life itself - Morgan Freeman
She’s such an awesome person that she’s willing to completely f~~~ up her kids’ life for some nookie. You’re also assuming that her husband is aware of and ok with the ‘deal’ she claims to have.
She’s an adulteress. This is not cool. The possibilities for chaos and drama are almost infinite.
I understand you’re NAWALT-ing right now. I understand feeling like you’ve found your unicorn. These are inaccurate feelings.
Run like hell. She’s dynamite with a lit fuse.
Picture her husband slowly pumping round after round into you. Keep that image in your mind.
"You can either love women, or understand women. You can't do both. Because once you understand women, you realize that there is really nothing to love."
I remember your previous post Bud,
Let me give it to your straight answer here, AVOID HER LIKE EBOLA!!!!.
"If You have the Tooth of a Whale, You must have the Whale's Jaw to hold it". (i.e. One Must have the right qualifications for leadership) -Hawaiian Proverb
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