8 Signs you need to find a girlfriend.

Hm…alright, here we go.

Your confidence may take a hit.

Eh, not really. Granted, my confidence isn’t that high, but that isn’t because I’m single. I don’t do anything for a social life. If I actually got out more, my confidence would be higher. No girlfriend involved there.

You might develop bad eating habits.

I do have bad eating habits, because why the f~~~ not? I just work it off at the gym. S~~~, the smallest I ever was was when I worked at a distributing factory. I weighed 142lbs, and my diet was pizza and ice cream for 6 months. Even if I was in a relationship, unless she’s willing to wash dishes, my diet probably won’t change.

Your dating standards have plummeted.

Ha! I would be in a relationship right now if this were true. I have high standards, which is one reason why I’m not in a relationship, because no one that I meet actually lives up to said standards.

You get a pet.

I have a dog. Not because I missed having a human companion, but because my mom decided to get me a dog and I’ve kept him. And I’m actually adjusting my life around him. I wouldn’t do that with a girl. Plus, he’s less expensive and not as needy as a girlfriend would be.

You start looking at your friends as potential mates.

Not really, no. If I’m friends with a girl, it doesn’t mean that I want to f~~~ them, or will want to in the future. As of right now in my life, most of my friends are guys or taken, none of which I’m interested in.

You’ve beaten almost every level of your video games.

More like the opposite. I have so many games that I started but haven’t finished, I don’t even know where to begin with that list. That being said, I need more YouTubers to subscribe to.

You turn to your mom for advice.

My mom and I are pretty close, and I do go to her if I want to chat to someone. But here recently, I’ve began to realize that she’s a pretty big hypocrite and the typical Third-wave Feminist, so I really don’t ask her for advice anymore unless it’s about a type of job or if I should buy something.

You Google or reach out to exes.

….what? Why would I want to do that?

Mmm, eight reasons.

Naaa. I can think of one reason or more as to why I don’t need a girlfriend. Too much demands for what I’ll be getting in return.

Now If you excuse me, I’m going to watch some hentai or some teen/milf porn because I can, and the best part. It cost’s little to nothing aside from the ISP payment.

Heck, I don’t get how some guys can even keep harems. Bad enough to deal with one, but 3 to 6.

No thanks.

What she really meant was 8 signs you need a girlfriend:

1) You love that last 10 minutes of sleep before you REALLY have to get up and shower and get dressed to go to school/work. Wouldn’t it be nice if there was a wonderful girl who woke up an hour before you and made you breakfast and picked 3 outfits to choose from? Oh and she got the gas for your car because you need not to spend extra 10 mins. And she also shoveled snow out of driveway and warmed up your car including the seat heater at setting 2. Just the way you like it.

2) We all know how stressful long day at work is. Wouldn’t it be fun to walk in the door to smell of gourmet dinner being cooked and as you are relaxing she kneels to give you the regular Happy-Tuesday BJ?

3) Sex

4) More sex

5) Sometimes it can be hard making it in a big city at the start of your career. How awesome would it be for a girlfriend to share the cost of apartment, internet, car and utilities?

6) Someone needs to wash those smelly dry-sweat gym shorts. A girlfriend would be happy to use some fabric softener too.

7) That weekend you have nothing planned, may be its time you let her come up with something to do. Just go with it.

8) It’s fun to have someone around to carry or push the grocery cart and make the occasional inquiries about your life and work.

The reasons I NEED a gf.

Reasons not to get Married or LTR.

1: Your confidence takes a hit. Waking up in a legal trap has that effect.

2. You might develop bad eating habits. Some women like to “feed men” to get them chunky and keep other women’s “meat hooks” off you. Also, the false sense of security has cause more than a few men to “let themselves go”

3. Your standards might plummet. If you get married and experience “bed death” / not laid for months, then you won’t just find yourself eyeing up cuties, but just about anything over 18 with a vagina as you struggle to remember what sex was like.

4. You might end up with a pet, and not a regular pet. No, she will want some expensive pure bred / exotic breed that will cost a ton of money and have expensive health problems. You will also end up being responsible for it since she only got it as a trendy status symbol.

5. You start looking at your friends as potential mates. Because after not getting any for months, you are desperate.

6. You’ve beaten every level of your video games because you have been playing them since before you got married. If you bought a new one, that harpy would never stop nagging. You are already in the dog house as it is !

7. You turn to your mom for advice because you lost all your old male friends, your new married male friends might rat you out to your wife and mom is the only person you think you can trust. Thank goodness she hates your wife !

8. You Google MGTOW, read forums and keep thinking, “Lucky Bastards”. Or, you reach out to men who are now “exes”.

Frank V.

Frank V – Well said.

MIKETOW wrote:

That is the most laughable article I have ever read. The reasons are idiot. A sign that a man needs a gf is that he gets a pet? That he asks his mother for advice? Who came up with this s~~~??

Some idiot scraping the bottom of the barrel in desperation.

Frank V.