Your Thoughts on This Exchange

[AncientwisdomParticipant 6089]

Im curious to know how most of you would have read into the following exchange. I want your honest opinions without placating to me because it involves a male and female.

My sibling (female) and I recently liquidated an asset we jointly owned. Within a month she used the funds towards a palatial home assuming a hefty mortgage. We havent talked in a while. She asks how Im doing and I reply and ask how the move went. She tells me good and now she feels like a “grown up” and immediately asks “are you still at the same apartment and job?”

Right there I felt a personal dig on me. How would you have read it?

I ask if she ” normally feels like a child when shes not moving her physical posessions lol”…”No I feel the responsibility of ownership and the cost of it.”

Ill go into how I responded to what I interpreted as a dig later, but wanted to hear how others would have read that.

Resident cynic.

[RoyDalParticipant]

You saved your money and she squandered hers? Sounds simple to me.

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[AncientwisdomParticipant 6089]

Im actually going to have to edit my original post because I got the sequence wrong.

Resident cynic.

[SlayherParticipant 2074]

Ancientwisdom wrote:

Ok, right here I felt this as a dig.

More like ‘indignant.’ She didn’t see anything funny in your attempt at humor so to feel morally superior she felt the need to put you down.

[AncientwisdomParticipant 6089]

Slayher wrote:

Ancientwisdom wrote:

Ok, right here I felt this as a dig.

More like ‘indignant.’ She didn’t see anything funny in your attempt at humor so to feel morally superior she felt the need to put you down.

I had to edit my original post: she actually asked about the apartment PRIOR to my joke, which is what caused my reaction and made me think shes saying it as a dig on me.

Resident cynic.

[heads-upParticipant 320]

Ancientwisdom wrote:

Im Within a month she used the funds towards a palatial home assuming a hefty mortgage. We havent talked in a while. She asks how Im doing and I reply and ask how the move went. She tells me good and now she feels like a “grown up”.
I ask if she ” normally feels like a child when shes not moving her physical posessions lol”…”No I feel the responsibility of ownership and the cost of it. Are you still at the same apartment and job?”

First what you said AncientWisdom was ultra funny and a swift verbal jab,her come back was just as swift and impressive LOL,
However she said “same apartment AND job” which was typical of a woman who cant just play and doesnt have a sense of proportional responce,they will always up the game for drama,have to get a little more personal and have the last word.
Still its a lot more civilised than the exchanges I used to have with my sister (till I just stopped talking to her a decade ago.)

[SlayherParticipant 2074]

Ancientwisdom wrote:

I had to edit my original post: she actually asked about the apartment PRIOR to my joke, which is what caused my reaction and made me think shes saying it as a dig on me.

I understand. Without knowing her it’s difficult for me to give you an honest answer. However, based upon your reaction, I would trust your instincts.

[AncientwisdomParticipant 6089]

Thanks for the replies guys but I got the sequence wrong. When I read my post I thought: “s~~~, I sound like a sensitive bitch by my reaction. That cant be right”

I re-read my text exchange and realized she threw the first PERCEIVED blow with the apartment job question. Then I followed up with that retort; then later explained why Im not upscaling my living situation.

My question is: do you perceive her SAME apartment/job question as a dig?

Resident cynic.

[sidecarParticipant 35837]

Ancientwisdom wrote:

”No I feel the responsibility of ownership and the cost of it.”

Debt is not ownership.

The bank owns her house. She merely gets to pay the property tax on it.

[Anonymous 29]

Ancientwisdom wrote:

Im curious to know how most of you would have read into the following exchange. I want your honest opinions without placating to me because it involves a male and female.
My sibling (female) and I recently liquidated an asset we jointly owned. Within a month she used the funds towards a palatial home assuming a hefty mortgage. We havent talked in a while. She asks how Im doing and I reply and ask how the move went. She tells me good and now she feels like a “grown up” and immediately asks “are you still at the same apartment and job?”
Right there I felt a personal dig on me. How would you have read it?
I ask if she ” normally feels like a child when shes not moving her physical posessions lol”…”No I feel the responsibility of ownership and the cost of it.”
Ill go into how I responded to what I interpreted as a dig later, but wanted to hear how others would have read that.

However I look and read this, taking into consideration that you may have got your sequencing wrong, I think you are being sussed out/probed for other information. Saying that, I can not give a positive answer because I was not standing in front of her, talking and looking the person in the eye and their body language as they spoke to me. Eyes are a window into a persons soul, so that is why my tentative answer earlier on.

[heads-upParticipant 320]

Ancientwisdom wrote:

Thanks for the replies guys but I got the sequence wrong. When I read my post I thought: “s~~~, I sound like a sensitive bitch by my reaction. That cant be right”
I re-read my text exchange and realized she threw the first PERCEIVED blow with the apartment job question. Then I followed up with that retort; then later explained why Im not upscaling my living situation.
My question is: do you perceive her SAME apartment/job question as a dig?

Gotta say Im a bit saddened AncientWisdom because that was a funny out of the blue fairytale jab,must remember its style and adapt the format for future sparring.:-)

[AncientwisdomParticipant 6089]

Gotta say Im a bit saddened AncientWisdom because that was a funny out of the blue fairytale jab,must remember its style and adapt the format for future sparring.:-)

Lol man, maybe Im not articulating myself well. I DID say that jab I wrote. The only difference is that SHE said she felt like a grown up by buying a home and then immediately followed with “are you still at the same apartment?”

I followed with my jab about being a child. I just took her comment as a dig on me. Why tell me how “grown up” you feel by buying a home then IMMEDIATELY ask me if Im still at an apartment (?). At best its unthoughtful and inconsiderate. At worst its just f~~~ing rude and insidious.

Debt is not ownership.

The bank owns her house. She merely gets to pay the property tax on it.

I completely agree. I followed up the exchange with the following figures:

“If I assumed a $400k mortgage I would be MARRIED to the loan for 30 years, and at even a 4% interest rate I would end up paying almost $300k in interest alone”.

Why do women see this as “security”? F~~~ing nuts.

I can not give a positive answer because I was not standing in front of her,

I can appreciate that. Thanks for the input.

Resident cynic.

[chirParticipant]

She doesn’t understand that she is a slave now. She is beholden to the bank who can take her house and she is beholden to the state who can take her house. If you are going to buy property buy with the smallest and shortest mortgage you can tolerate. Get out from under the banks thumb as fast as possible. State property and school taxes are the rent you pay to exist on the “state’s” property.

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion, it is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed, the hands acquire shaking, the shaking becomes a warning; it is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

[FullMetalExoParticipant 2383]

Ancientwisdom wrote:

My question is: do you perceive her SAME apartment/job question as a dig?

depends, if she is a bitchy character then YES, definitely.

PS. scratch that, in this situation she definitely did the dig, to massage her EGO.

> Says she is “grown up” by action X, like it even means something
> Knows you didn’t do X because there is no real reason for you to do.
> Asks anyway
> ???
> Get’s ready to feel supreme….. but no, instead get the jab right back. Well done mate. !

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[DeepInThoughtParticipant 2710]

sidecar wrote:

Ancientwisdom wrote:

”No I feel the responsibility of ownership and the cost of it.”

Debt is not ownership.
The bank owns her house. She merely gets to pay the property tax on it.

This is sound.

Anything that takes money from your pocket is NOT an asset but liability. I wish more people would wake the f~~~ up to this concept before they start talking “We have such and such equity in our home” bulls~~~. I think No you have ‘X’ amount of liability!!!

Well said SideCar!

[FrankOneParticipant 1417]

Yes, it’s a jab, it sounds like she couldn’t afford the home upgrade and the inheritance/asset just paid the down payment. Excuse the language, but saying you feel ‘grown up’ because you bought something is F~~~ED. I felt ‘grown up’ when I started working to support myself!

I can see buying a small, starter home, fix-er-upper with a small inheritance, and then using the money previously spent on rent to make it more liveable, or fixing it yourself. And/or renting a room so you can pay the mortgage in your 20’s.

Sounds like she likes to keep up with the Jones’s. Does she have a large collection of shoes and handbags?

I’ve lived in a house since my early 20’s but it is an old 1950’s home that required lots of work done to it. I think getting out of an apartment MAY BE a good financial choice but not if the mortgage is unaffordable — and I certainly wouldn’t make digs against my siblings who didn’t own a home… I’d rather buy a trailer to get out of apartment rent if the money was limited.

Having no rent, no mortgage, no car payment at 45 is great. I tell people I love my POS 6-year old car, they ask me why, and I say, it’s paid off. But yeah, in Amerika with its property taxes, you don’t have real ownership of your home, you gotta pay the protection money to the local school district in property taxes.

[AncientwisdomParticipant 6089]

FullMetalExo wrote:

Ancientwisdom wrote:

My question is: do you perceive her SAME apartment/job question as a dig?

depends, if she is a bitchy character then YES, definitely.
PS. scratch that, in this situation she definitely did the dig, to massage her EGO.
> Says she is “grown up” by action X, like it even means something> Knows you didn’t do X because there is no real reason for you to do.> Asks anyway> ???> Get’s ready to feel supreme….. but no, instead get the jab right back. Well done mate. !

Thank you for the thought out reply.

Gentleman, this is what KILLS ME:

Women make these “read BETWEEN the lines” comments. We can all read between the lines, but if we do THEY play this game of plausible deniability:

” oh YOU interpreted that wrong! Your just too SENSITIVE!”

Its never ending and it p~~~es me off.

Ill respond in spades playing their game, and they IMMEDIATELY respond with it being about THEM…Knowing their own game, they dont pretend to think youre talking about yourself. No, they KNOW it was a jab against them even though your simply playing the same structure of game they dealt you.

Call them out on it and your some sensitive, over reacting f~~~. P~~~es me off.

Btw this is an issue to me because its family, which I do love, but is the only female I feel forced to deal with.

Resident cynic.

[AncientwisdomParticipant 6089]

Yes, it’s a jab, it sounds like she couldn’t afford the home upgrade and the inheritance/asset just paid the down payment. Excuse the language, but saying you feel ‘grown up’ because you bought something is F~~~ED.

I agree. And this wasnt some wind fall profit; it actually represents a LOSS of investments prior to 2008.

Im keeping it liquid, for now.

Ironic, I forgot to mention: right after the “grown up comment” about “owning a home” she also said

But we also have kids so its ridiculous

This is another statement that made me think she was making a personal dig against me, because I dont have kids and shes brought it up before stating that her kids need other kids to play with.

To me this is women saying s~~~ with ZERO regard to how the recipient feels; at BEST. Honestly its worse than that: its attempting to put the other person down while building themselves up.

The entire reason why I created this “poll” of a thread, was because I was being self reflective of my actions. I considered the notion that I might have over reacted, and didnt want to hurt someone I cared for.

The irony is – the COMPLETE disregard or consideration on behalf of my family member to even THINK of how her words would effect me. Ive over thought this 7 ways to Sunday, but I assure you her words were a gun slinging reaction and she hasnt considered her words since.

Bleh…

Resident cynic.

[uchibenkeiParticipant 7965]

homes don’t make you a grown up any more than being in a garage makes you a car. Women buy lots of things to feel a certain way, like grown up. That’s how they become what they want to be; by looking like what they want to be and buying it. That’s not grown up. A grown up does what he has to do before he does what he wants to do. Men actually go and do the things they have to do to be what they want to be. If a woman wants to be a thug, she buys a thug outfit and dates a thug. She doesn’t actually do thug things. If she wants to be respected, like a doctor, she goes out and buys respectable clothing and dates a doctor. She doesn’t actually become a doctor or other respectable professional. So a woman’s opinion of you and whether or not you’re a grown up is worthless.

I bathe in the tears of single moms.

[OneforfreedomParticipant 930]

Ancientwisdom wrote:

We havent talked in a while. She asks how Im doing and I reply and ask how the move went. She tells me good and now she feels like a “grown up” and immediately asks “are you still at the same apartment and job?”

You guys hadn’t talked in a while- so I think it was just catch-up small-talk. Wouldn’t interpret as a dig unless she attempted to gain more info such as salary, disposable income, new cars, etc.

She passes the Oneforfreedom test….for now.

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