WTF

[BryantParticipant 229]

Now this is f~~~ing crazy

http://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/2ltzh4/my_girlfriend_has_created_a_relationship_contract/

QUOTE:

I am 15 and she is 18. This relationship has lasted 2 years and is currently ongoing.

Mutual Agreement November 3rd, 2014 Relationship Contract Section 1 Mutual Treatment

I. Thoughts and feelings will be spoken openly whether they’re random, situational, etc. – There will not be any accompanying judgements towards whatever is said if there is any doubt that it could be harmful or is intentionally being said in the wrong situation.

II. Hypocrisy and any other contradictions will be consciously avoided when possible.

III. Labels will only be used when actions and words relevant to those actions are usable.

IV. Dishonesty will not be used under any circumstances, regardless of the response, reaction, consequences, or repercussions thereafter. – Dishonestly is the major leading cause of death in relationships.

V. The Relationship comes before all else. If the relationship is crumbling, it must begin to be remedied before any other action disregarding the relationship may take place and should always be considered first in any situation that delays it from being rebuilt.

VI. Compromise comes after recognition of the greater good. If something is healthy or helpful, it should not be presented as harmful for selfish wants unless proven to be so for legitimate reason involving the concern of the person and/or relationship, in which compromise may then take place on the effect of the action towards the person and/or relationship.

Section 2 Leaving Home I. 11PM is the latest to be out, and 9 or 10 is preferred if later. – There are no exceptions for 11 being the latest time. Precautions must be made and if there will be any delay in returning home, should be taken into account. II. Leaving must be decided and announced 3 full hours before leaving, as well as an approximate guess of the time of return. III.

Section 3 Friends I. Friends may not be negatively manipulative towards the relationship or either members. II. Friends must be positive to both members in the relationship and respect them regardless of lack of agreement in personality. III. There will be no supportive conversing of the intrusion or corruption of the relationship, whether it be in a serious tone or not. Threats will always be taken seriously. IV.
Section 4 Privacy I. No secrets are to be kept between the relationship. – All secrets that are kept subconsciously must be shared as soon as they become conscious, regardless of the current presence of the other person. This can be done through sending messages or making posts, as well as voicemail. II. Secrets kept inside the relationship may not be released without the consent of both persons. – If there is a possibility anyone besides the other person in the relationship has gotten into personal information, it must all immediately be deleted and actions must be taken toward ensuring the privacy of future information. III.

Section 5 Communication/Language I. Neither person may be allowed to leave for longer than 6 hours at a time unless in the event of a major emergency. II. Communication must take place every day and may include personal health, life events, future plans, etc. – Each person must get a chance every day to talk with the other about whatever they feel they need to. III. No vulgar language may be consciously used, and pointed out when used unconsciously. – During arguments, may be used only frequently and to explain extreme emotion towards an idea and limited to only what is absolutely necessary to get the emotion of that idea across. IV. Only intelligent jokes and slang may be consciously used, within and outside of the relationship. – There will be no practicing of hurtful or devolved jokes or vocabulary, or that implies to an offensive or significantly less evolved group of persons.

TL;DR; My girlfriend has created a “relationship contract” that contains things that she finds ideal to our relationship. (Sorry for the redundancy but I have no idea how to summarize this specific text).

"He who lives with honor dies with honor."

[ILiveAgainParticipant]

Well right then, where the f~~~ do I sign this baby 😀

Take her out back and shoot the poor cow.

Can you imagine the f~~~ contract?

[Anonymous 1]

If that doesn’t say “red flag”, Im not sure anything else will…

[KeymasterKeymaster]

That guy should write his own “relationship contract”.

#1 – right at the top:

I. “You will shut the f~~~ up whenever I request it”.

She will be like: “are you f~~~ing serious?”.

Then he can tell her:

“Goddam right I’m f~~~ing serious. Shutting the f~~~ up is asking virtually NOTHING from you. It takes less effort than straightening your hair and even less than applying lipstick. For all the mile long list of things you expect from a man to make you “happy”, shutting the f~~~ up is the MINIMAL thing you can do to please me. If you’re not willing to DO NOTHING to please your man…. you’re simply not marriageable or worth having a relationship with, you insane, demanding f~~~ing bitch. Get lost”.

Problem solved.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[Lazarus LongParticipant 365]

Another beautiful response form KeyMaster, he is the living embodiment of Shakespeare.

EDIT: This is a sincere compliment not sarcasm.

Willfully turning aside from the truth is treason to one's self. -Terry Goodkind

[BurgundyParticipant 1525]

When I read that crazy contract s~~~, the first thing that came to mind…

 

 

Yeah the kid better bail,  ASAP, he’s dealing with maximum crazy insecure, control freak bitch level here!

[IGMOW (I Go My Own Way)Participant 2572]

There is no way that contact can be legally binding, as he is a minor and she is 18.  Actually, I am not fully sure of the laws but if there is any sex going on, she might be able to get charged of sex with a minor.

"I am my own thang. Any questions?" - Davis S Pumpkins.

[AntaresParticipant 208]

So what exactly are the consequences if he breaks the contract? He doesn’t have to put up with her bulls~~~ anymore? I would like to challenge the guy to violate as many points of the contract simultaneously as possible. Like wandering home drunk at 2am reeking of some woman’s perfume, stumble into the bedroom, peeing on her as she sleeps while singing Bad to the Bone.

Bryant wrote:

All secrets that are kept subconsciously must be shared as soon as they become conscious, regardless of the current presence of the other person.

Okay the entire contract is out there, but what kind of crazy proto-cat lady comes up with s~~~ like that?

Price is what you pay, value is what you get. -- Ben Graham

[Anonymous 14]

Burgundy wrote:

When I read that crazy contract s~~~, the first thing that came to mind… Yeah the kid better bail, ASAP, he’s dealing with maximum crazy insecure, control freak bitch level here!

Except they don’t really aim for the legs anymore but what’s in between them. Stupid enough to try and kill the goose that lays golden eggs or rather the silver sperm that fertilizes their worthless little eggs.

[aeragoanParticipant 1186]

THIS TYPE OF WOMEN IS DELUSIONAL AND CONTROL FREAK

[KeymasterKeymaster]

aeragoan wrote:

THIS TYPE OF WOMEN IS DELUSIONAL AND CONTROL FREAK

And she’s 18! Wait until she hits the wall.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[Crazy CanuckMember 4215]

I bet she will break her own f~~~’in contract. Wow what a dumb bitch, I would toss her ass out.

"If pussy was a stock it would be plummeting right now because you've flooded the market with it. You're giving it away too easy." - Dave Chapelle

[Elgos_GrimParticipant 254]

At his age, is that even legaly binding?! Also what in the almighty f~~~ is wrong with this crazy controll freak bitch?!

IV. Dishonesty will not be used under any circumstances, regardless of the response, reaction, consequences, or repercussions thereafter. – Dishonestly is the major leading cause of death in relationships.

No, I believe marriage to be the ‘major leading cause of death’ in relationships.

[BoomhauerParticipant 36]

If I were in this situation, I’d take the contract, roll it up, tell her to shove it up her c~~~ and tell her goodbye for the last time.

Or I would just kill her for the sake of humanity.

[experiencedParticipant]

Das Bo Schitt, we all know that you mean that figuratively and not literally. Or, that you’re joking.

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

[BoomhauerParticipant 36]

In reality I wouldn’t be that harsh but, I would no doubt leave her.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Boomhauer wrote:

In reality I wouldn’t be that harsh but, I would no doubt leave her.

You HAVE to leave her. That’s why I put it in perspective with the whole “shutting the f~~~ up” thing I said above ^^^^. Once you have that kind of clarity and perspective – and explain it directly to her face – a woman like that has no f~~~ing leg to stand on. She is forced to realize just how monkey s~~~ crazy she is.

A “relationship contract”??? She is out of her mind. An unmarried man is under no contract for a reason. It’s to show that everything he does is VOLUNTARY. Every moment he is with her — is because he wants to be – and she should see value in this because he can leave anytime he wants. Women don’t understand the importance of that s~~~, see it as a compliment, or even see the value in it. She would prefer to lock you down out of obligation and resent! Try and imagine that!!!

She’s not the only one either. Just DON’T want a contract with her, and women will think they are justified in cutting your dick off.

/video/woman-castrates-husband-women-laugh/

What kind of mentally sick bitch would PREFER a man did everything – including talking to her! – out of some sense of obligation or binding contract?

Once it’s really examined in proper perspective , it’s SICK.

Women have told me s~~~ like “you’d better propose before Christmas, or it’s over”. OK it’s over. Even when you check out other women and continue talking to her, holding her hand and going home with her, women don’t take it as a compliment. But why NOT? You’re with her still out of your own free will. They treat it like an insult, and start making you feel like you can’t even LOOK around. It’s completely insane, and you have to dump that bitch.

When a woman has other options – or talks to another guy at a party – but still goes home with ME, it’s a goddam compliment. She can talk to him all night long if she wants. And if she goes home witty him, she can go home with him too! But that’s the end of it for us. That’s the whole point! Leave her as free to do as she wants.. and every moment she is with you is a compliment, and shows it’s because she is there because she WANTS to be. The door is wide open to LEAVE, sister.

If women weren’t such goddamn control freak maniacs they would see the value in it.
Instead, they can’t get a man to WANT to be with them for life.. hence the need for a “contract” – else she will want to cut your dick off.

It’s pathetic.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[GrumpyParticipant]

Keymaster wrote:

And she’s 18! Wait until she hits the wall

I think she is already there mentally, she is just bouncing off the foundation until her looks fade to finish it off.

There was a time in my life when I gave a fuck. Now you have to pay ME for it

[The Moth Attracted to the FlameParticipant 2982]

“Neither person may be allowed to leave for longer than 6 hours at a time unless in the event of a major emergency.”
F~~~ that.

He should take that contract and stick it up her ass. For once put something else up there.

[Darth SinParticipant 576]

If this guy is still with this wench despite all the blaring red flags, then we should nominate him for the “Blue Beta SIMP of The Year” award. He stands an excellent chance of winning it.

[Author]

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