When my ex and I were married, she suggested we go to marriage counseling. I was all on board, and gladly went with her to the appointment she setup. I took all the advice to heart and tried to make changes. She then claimed that she didn’t like what was going on and thought I was using the counselor to manipulate her. She didn’t like the changes she was told to make.
In my opinion, manipulation is hard word to define. When a person lies to you in order to get what they want from you, it’s clearly manipulation, but what if they tell the truth in order to get what they want from you? That’s not manipulation is it? If I go on a date with a woman and spend a ton of money on her, then am disappointed that it doesn’t lead to sex, it’s not manipulation. It’s only manipulation if you try and guilt her into having sex with you. If you tell her that you don’t want to see her anymore because it’s too much work to get to the sex, that’s not manipulation either. It’s honesty. She may tell you that you’re being manipulative and controlling, but being honest about what you want and under what conditions you want to spend time with someone is not at all manipulative. Women simply don’t like it when you take away their power to play games.
I can relate to all. We asked a common friend therapist about our relationship. She said her explicity: you are a child-like little girl who says today “yes” and tomorrow “no”. She didnt changed…other day i woke up and said: okay, this is the game we are going to play now…we will speak in first person of singular till we resolve this. She said no so i responded: okay, then i am out of the relationship. After she responded, okay lets try. Ended at home speaking in first person both happy and our roommates really annoyed…we had a great night. First thing i hear in the morning was something directed towards me in very angry tone. Then i did wrong, i should had gone at that moment i realised the new play wasnt going to be played. But i stayed, hoping for a change that never came. My error, for sure, my dependence.
I think you misunderstand that MGTOW is not about trying to advise you how to act or to repair that relationship. MGTOW is about men who refuse to interact in any way, shape, or form in relationships with immature, infantile, and manipulative women. If you are not walking away from her as numerous members have advised you to do, then you need to take your problem with her to some other website, forum, or blog.
Doesnt matter, a change is needed here ASAP, so….i dont have any other real options, i am really sick of all this, i am hurting myself.
One thing you also have to remember is that women use your emotions and sense of morality to get you to do things.
She WANTS you to chase her, just so she can say “no”. You will have to just stop talking to her. Doesn’t matter who cuts contact first, it’s not about that anymore, and it’s not a competition.
Oh and yes she could file charges on you for harassment if you aren’t careful. Which is why you should be.
Thanks.
