Home › Forums › Relations~~~s › Womens shaming and how to protect myself?
This topic contains 33 replies, has 22 voices, and was last updated by Seeking Truth 3 years ago.
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Hi guys. I just joined this website, and it’s my first post here. About MGTOW I found out about year ago, but can not digest it easily, from the beginning, so I took a pause, for about 8 month, and now I am back.
Lately I started to often notice, that women have a lot of power through men, specifically through shaming and guilting language (although they not always demonstrate it verbally. Today I had situation, in the market, when women wanted to pass with her shopping carriage (or whatever you call this thing, that you put your groceries in there), and watched with contempt and dissatisfaction over me and another man, that was in her way. And even though, I tried consciously understand this situation, and that her act is ridiculous, and it is not my fault, I felt ashamed and guilted, after I don’t let her drive this thing, until I don’t chose, my peanut butter).
1. So, the question that I have is, how to protect yourself from shame and guilt, that they project onto you. I read, and fully understand that they don’t worth anything, and only want to take something from you, but I am interested in understanding how to deal with social pressures, when they try to guilt or shame you, of the actions or attitudes that you have toward them, while interacting in neutral territory/ environment or in their territory ( if I would be in environment when company of men, don’t understand anything, and will do literally EVERYTHING to please her, and provide her approval, even if she says absolute nonsense or/and will say some stupid s~~~ against you). How to best deal in this situation, when ignoring or leaving is not an option?
2. It would be great, if you will tell specific situations, when you protected yourself, from shame and quilt.
3. What is the specific counterarguments, that you have in your personal arsenal, to deal with shaming and guilting language. Specific counterarguments, that I, and other MGTOW, can use while transitioning to MGTOW, in communication with family, friends, coworkers, some random women on the street, women cashiers, women customer service, etc. ( not related to story that you may write about). Is there is a way to protect and reverse the situation against her (because I see, that if you don’t attack them back, they would continue to do, what they are doing).
I am really tired, of this bulls~~~, when useless p~~~ of s~~~, can make me feel ashamed or even not worth to say something to protect myself, and I really want and ready to change this.
PS: sorry for a lot of details, and for me being all over the place.
PS 2: sorry for my broken English).The simple answer is fight back and shame them, the rule is do onto others as you would have done onto you. When faced with shaming language return the favor in kind and do onto them as they do onto you.
A MGTOW is a man who is not a woman's bitch!
Stop giving a f~~~ about the validation of other people.
In work place ignore them and indicate you have a job to do.
In other place ignore them and move away.
Give nothing for the fire to burn. You don’t protect yourself by arguing with a fire and be burned. You walk away from fire.
There is no magic in MGTOW, just recognition of the truth and logical decision how to avoid dangers. The red pill is but the truth, it is no magical potion. Do not think in this modern world men have no longer have natural enemies, men are prey to women and government.
Anonymous54Simple.
DONT CARE WHAT THEY THINK.
See how easy!!!
But.. If you want to learn about clever come backs, our Man Key Master is the King!
Read his stuff.
Anonymous0Welcome Seeking Truth!
If someone is shaming you but you’re not breaking any laws or obvious rules, then you can just ignore them. Especially if it’s just something like an old lady trying to squeeze past you in a supermarket.
In your post, basically you’re asking about how “personal boundaries” operate.
Here’s an excerpt from the Wikipedia entry on “Personal Boundaries”:
[A researcher] proposed four boundary types:
—Soft – A person with soft boundaries merges with other people’s boundaries. Someone with a soft boundary is easily a victim of psychological manipulation.
—Spongy – A person with spongy boundaries is like a combination of having soft and rigid boundaries. They permit less emotional contagion than soft boundaries but more than those with rigid. People with spongy boundaries are unsure of what to let in and what to keep out.
—Rigid – A person with rigid boundaries is closed or walled off so nobody can get close either physically or emotionally. This is often the case if someone has been the victim of physical, emotional, psychological, or sexual abuse. Rigid boundaries can be selective which depend on time, place or circumstances and are usually based on a bad previous experience in a similar situation.
—Flexible – Similar to selective rigid boundaries but the person exercises more control. The person decides what to let in and what to keep out, is resistant to emotional contagion and psychological manipulation, and is difficult to exploit.Link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Personal_boundaries
The fourth type of boundary (“flexible”) is the healthiest type of boundary. In other words, the old woman in the supermarket can act irritated, but it’s up to you to decide whether you want to notice or care about her irritation. If you decide her irritation isn’t justified, then you’re free to ignore her.
If you REALLY want to investigate the concept of boundaries in-depth, then I recommend the book “F*ck Feelings” by Michael I. Bennett MD, and Sarah Bennett.
“F*ck Feelings” is a self-help book that tells you how to set personal boundaries with everyday acquaintances, coworkers, friends, and family members. How much time and attention do you owe the people around you, and how much do they owe you? How much effort should you invest in relationships, and when is it time to bail on the relationship and cut your losses? With a good grasp of personal boundaries, you’ll know exactly when and how to say “yes,” “no,” and “hell no” when people make demands on you.
It’s the authors’ contention that just because you feel a strong need or an obligation to do something doesn’t mean that it’s automatically the right thing to do. First you have to do a reality check, then set appropriate boundaries and limits on how personally involved or invested you will get in the situation, then create a thoughtful strategy for dealing with the situation.
Protect yourself by understanding you DO NOT have to allow yourself to be bullied, shamed, or manipulated by women ANY LONGER.
Time, patience, and practice will help you undo social conditioning and expectations. MGTOW is the way. (And listen to KeyMaster, the man is a genius)
Hello and welcome to the forums. I enjoyed your first post and topic. There is a lot in there.
PS: sorry for a lot of details, and for me being all over the place.
PS 2: sorry for my broken English).There ^^ is part of your answer to “how to protect myself?” (from shame and guilt).
Do you see it?
Look closer.
NO MORE APOLOGIZING. There is never any need to apologize for being detailed and elaborating to make your point clearer. And there is never any need to apologize for near-perfect English as a second language – which is very impressive on it’s own.
You apologize for not being perfect. A very common character quality in men and we see it here VERY often. “Sorry for my imperfect English”. It’s incredible. When you communicate with women online, they will see a typo ( like “their”, “they’re” or “there”) and accuse you of being a an illiterate dummy, but she hasn’t even thought that English could be your second language – or a third.
So…..
2. It would be great, if you will tell specific situations, when you protected yourself, from shame and guilt.
Simple. Stop having any shame or guilt about things you don’t need to feel shame or guilt for. Like your English, or your embellishments. It’s good to be humble and expect more of yourself. But don’t berate yourself TOO much right out of the gate.
How to best deal in this situation
A simple adjustment in attitude.
Remind yourself, a woman’s approval is as worthless as her disapproval.
You don’t need her approval for anything. Ever.Think about it. What is the BEST thing that happens when a woman “approves” of you?
A simple sex act and a possible pregnancy or an STD.It simply doesn’t MATTER if a woman approves of you. When you realize this, the next time a woman disapproves of you in any way, it becomes “funny”.
What is the specific counterarguments
“I like you better without facial hair”.
She may comment on what you wear, how you dress, if you shave and act as if her approval matters. But because her approval is as worthless as her disapproval, I would say:
“You know, I like you better without facial hair too!”.
—
“A real man would….”.
She is implying you’re “not a real man”. So now you might say:
“What would you know about being a MAN? You’re a western female. What would you even know about being HUMAN?”.
If she is going to imply that you’re “not a real man”,
You can imply she’s not even human. Man wins.—
“You’re an asshole”.
“Thank you for noticing!”.
Take every “insult” and interpret it as a compliment. When a woman calls me an “asshole”, that’s when I know sex will happen in zero-point-five minutes.
—
“I have a big problem with you!, mister”.
“That’s never gonna get you laid.”
If she says ANYTHING you don’t like, tell her “that’s never gonna get you laid”.
It will send her into a catatonic stupor.—
ANYTHING NEGATIVE ABOUT YOU…..
“You never said you were funny”.
—
“Why are you not on Facebook?”.
“What a stupid question.”.
“I am. VIP lounge. Zuckerberg invite only.”.
“Because I am wanted in 28 states for crimes against humanity”.Be creative. Use your imagination here.
And never give a woman a direct answer to a question unless it is “NO”.the actions or attitudes that you have toward them
Her disapproval is as worthless as her approval.
If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.
Anonymous54A check out broad at the store once told me I need to trim my mustache.Two f~~~ing weeks later I think of saying..So do you.
Two weeks…hjahaWow, thank you guys. I agree, that I have weak boundaries, and have to work with that. Thank you for book, Two step, I found it, and bought it, will see shortly what’s inside.
Exactly, TellHer2STFU, I see that MGTOW is the way, just have to adjust my responses to another’s reactions of my behavior and attitudes.
Yeah, Old Sage, I read some of his staff already. He really have some valuable information and mindset.
Gnostic, the thing is that I want to ignore them, but for some reasons, their opinion effects me ( no matter how much I don’t like to admit that).
Atton, the main reason, why I described this situation, it’s because she doesn’t even said the word. She tried to get attention, and when I saw her, she nonverbally shown she’s disrespect and contempt toward me, and another man. I understand I don’t have to think much about this, but after understanding a little bit, about true nature of women, for me it was insulting. Don’t ever understood this extremely high level of their entitlement (and from where it is coming from), even if they are worthless, useless, and a long time ago passed their prime years.I just so don’t give a f~~~ what anyone thinks and even have fun with s~~~ like that . I have zero shame . I turn s~~~ like that into a commedy for self amusement.
Ps . I love mangina watching at shops when i have my coffee . Kind of like bird watching . Mangina will always be one step behind his master .
THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .
Anonymous54Also Seeking Truth, keep in mind , some people have bigger anteni than others. You may be more perceptive to whats going on around you more than others. This can be a curse.Try and just block it out. It is only your opinion of yourself that matters. You sound like a well manerd person.
I am really tired, of this bulls~~~
Who wouldn’t be? It’s totally unacceptable that she will behave as if a man should care about her approval in the first place. Don’t let her get away with it.
There are also 4 good stock responses to use when you don’t have anything ready:
“That’s interesting, why would you SAY that?”
“That’s interesting, why would you THINK that?”
“That’s interesting, why would you DO that?”
“That’s interesting, why would you ASK that?”This buys you TIME. It’s like holding a mirror up to her. Before you respond at all, you force her to reflect on WHY she would ask/say/do/think that in the first place. In that moment, it’s amazing what will be reflected back to you.
If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.I turn s~~~ like that into a commedy for self amusement.
This is a great point(!) because you’re doing it for your OWN amusement, and not for her. You take an otherwise negative interaction and make it amusing for YOURSELF. Commonly known as “amused mastery”.
If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.Thank you very much, Keymaster. You said everything exactly right, about my situation, and I notice, that every time I make some point, even with communicating with women, I often, run into rationalizations and explanations, why I made this point, forgetting completely, that they don’t think, the way man think, and that they have emotional mind and emotions, as a decision making mechanism. Thank’s man, I really appreciate your effort.
Anonymous43Aw man, you guys took all the good answers.
Smile and walk away, do what you want to do.
Thank them for their input, and you will consider their ideas, your input is valuable, blah blah blahsometimes a silent stare works. Works for men, too. stare into one eye…blank face. That’s some scary s~~~ right there. Then the first person who speaks, loses. the thousand yard stare…ooooo
love it.
When did the term “shaming” become a thing?
I’m not familiar with shame, but I equate it to feeling bad.
And since you are the only person responsible for your feelings, nobody can “shame” you.
Monk
sometimes a silent stare works
True!
If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.
Anonymous42I wish I had a penny for ever shattered attempt at shaming me.
It’s all a big s~~~ test game to them! I send that s~~~ straight back the originator through insult or silence, subsequently the best way to get a frustrated c~~~ fart.
I get them to constrict better than any orgasm and it caries over for weeks and becomes seared into their memories and never happens again.
Anonymous22If you see a woman (like the one in the supermarket) acting that way, at least know that she can’t be doing well. She is very angry. I guess feminism hasn’t been good for her because she is suffering so much.
You can just smile in a situation like that, radiate happiness (even if you have to pretend that). That will make the angry c~~~ even more p~~~ed when she notices she can’t affect you in any way. She wants to see you lose your temper. Don’t give her that satisfaction.
I had such a thing in the supermarket two weeks ago. Was doing my groceries (never much, so I take a basket instead of a cart), loaded it and went to the checkout. I put my stuff on the counter (?) and waited for the person in front of me to pay and move out. Behind me, two middle-aged women joined the line. I felt their eyes piercing my back, heard them blowing out exeggerated huffs of annoyance because they weren’t helped immediately and I turned around to confirm my suspicions: yup, two short-haired, fat specimens.
We made eye contact, one of them drew my gaze to my groceries, then to her cart full of stuff and honestly seemed to expect me be chivalrous and let her go before me. I lifted an eyebrow, put my headset on again and turned around, which made the other huff in disgust. Didn’t give them any more attention and walked away.
"One of the best things internet exposed is just how insane women are." - Freeman_K
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