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Anonymous 4 years, 7 months ago.
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I have recently began sending messages out on ok cupid because as many women have told me my previous approach of waiting for a woman to send me a message is wrong because women want the guy to take the initiative. Well out of all the messages I have sent out I have only got 3 responses back and 2 of those women never wrote back when I replied to them. Only 1 women kept writing me back for a week and it led to a date but more on that later. Now I don’t expect every woman to write back or be attracted to me, but I have sent out like 20 messages so far and nothing. I know I am no Stephen Amell or Henry Cavil, but these women aren’t exactly Holly Micheals or Gal Gadot. I have even messaged women who have the same type of job as me, majored in the same field, or even have the same hobby and still nothing back. I know I am not perfect, but neither are these women. What is even more annoying is how some of them barely write anything on their profile and still expect the guy to message them first. On some of them I have had to use Netflix as an ice breaker because “Watching Netflix” is one of the only things of substance they put in their profile.
As for that woman who actually kept messaging me we talked for a week and had a good conversation going. I would ask her something and she would respond in detailed sentences and I would do that same, she was attractive, and we had enough in common where we weren’t 100% the same, but we easily liked a lot of the same stuff. After I week I asked her if she wanted to meet and she said yes. So I meet her at the place and she actually looked like her pictures on her profile. Of coarse as soon as I met her I realized there would be no second date. She was nice, wasn’t rude at all,and paid for her own drink without hesitation, but she lived on her own and had a better paying job so she had this certain stature to her that I didn’t have since I live at home and didn’t make enough as much as her. Another big issue was I was nervous and it showed. This was my first date in 3 years and prior to that the last time I was ever with a woman was 4 years ago with my girlfriend so my dating skills were very rusty. I think even the lady at the counter even saw it because when I ordered my soda she said “now you know you can get a refill on these”. I had a good time and liked her, but I could tell she wanted someone more established and I didn’t take it personally. I was actually surprised an date from okcupid turned out so well. I mean there may have been no second date, but after all of the horror stories I heard about dates from ok cupid I would call a date where the woman looked like her picture, paid her way, was nice, and stayed for an hour to be a victory lol.
Don’t do it. Don’t use these places.
You’re on a hiding to nothing.
Spend your time on other things.
IT’S A TRAP 😆
IT’S A TRAP
!!!
There is a pile of scientific evidence that dating sites (and social media in general) are jam packed with people who are mentally ill. My advice: Hang out with sane people, people whom you want to turn out like. Avoid those who want to drag you down.
Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?
LOL ILiveAgain:
Don’t do it. Don’t use these places. You’re on a hiding to nothing. Spend your time on other things. IT’S A TRAP
This is true generally and dating as a MGTOW can be a strange thing, but I will add my two pence (not cents!) here (as I am a “dating MGTOW”)
I had a good time and liked her, but I could tell she wanted someone more established and I didn’t take it personally
That is good personal growth there, in my opinion. Not all dates go great and not all dates are horrendous. I suggest to many of my friends to actually try online dating, even if its people you might NOT particularly like. When I was in my mid 20s, I dated almost EVERY kind of girl you could imagine – not for the intention of getting laid, etc, but for the PURELY SELFISH motive of wanting to learn more about MYSELF. I saw / see dating as an opportunity for personal growth, regardless of what happens with the girl.
Another big issue was I was nervous and it showed.
Again, another reason why I recommend dating (not full relationships) is that it builds your confidence, and confidence influences YOUR WHOLE LIFE – work prospects, etc. Building confidence, especially for the workplace, will make you into a power house and you will find that you will be able to stand up to workplace s~~~ and take less offence / assert more authority. You will not be “intimidated” by womens beauty so you will less likely get f~~~ed over.
Once you gain the understanding of HEARING *NO*, then your time will come when YOU can SAY NO. If you are the one that says and DECIDES *NO* – you are the one with the power and control.
So, as a final bit of advice, I would say keep trying and get those dates – even if you aren’t that fussed about the person. Don’t spend a fortune and buy expensive dinners – a cheap drink or cup of tea, etc is enough. Be self aware and evaluate how you act / respond / listen etc. The first few dates are scary. After that, you become a little apprehensive. Then indifference comes. Then you get to a point where you can play the rejection game in a club – go out with your friends and have a competition on who can get the MOST REJECTIONS. When you can do this and feel like you have had an awesome time, look back on where you started and see how far you have come. =)
Marriage? No thanks, i'm not ready to be THAT miserable.
because “Watching Netflix” is one of the only things of substance they put in their profile.
Oh Christ, that should be your first hint … “you do anything of substance?” … “yes, I watch Netflix” …
If you are MGTOW when you are young you have no heart.
If you're not MGTOW when you are 20 you have no brain.when I went through my online dating phase I found I emailed loads of women and got nothing back.
I went out with three women through online dates and there were all pretty boring and not my cup of tea. The second one we went out a few times and it was ok – had a laugh but the final time we went to the cinema and she had this annoying as f~~~ laugh and I knew half through that s~~~ film Gravity that I wasn’t going to see her again.
Nowdays I couldn’t care less either way but although I have no interest in dating I would never go online again as every woman on there thinks she is a 10 and deserves a Brad Pitt whereas most of them are fat and look unhinged from their pictures.
A friend of my brothers was on there a few years back and said how he put his salary up to some ridiculous amount and suddenly all the women were emailing him – says it all!
In my experience, “dating” websites (and even Tinder) are for women to inflate their egos. Remember that women get off on attention, first and foremost. They see how many matches they get, they think about how desirable they are, and then that’s it; they desire nothing more. This is why you can match, send a message, and then hear nothing.
If you continue to perform this self-flagellating adventure into “online dating,” I advise you to send a message, insisting you meet immediately, and if you don’t hear back in twenty-four hours, block their ass. Don’t give them the satisfaction. The satisfaction of your attention should be reserved for the woman you actually care about.
". . . elle, suivant l’usage des femmes et des chats qui ne viennent pas quand on les appelle et qui viennent quand on ne les appelle pas, s’arrêta devant moi et m’adressa la parole"—Prosper Mérimée
One phenomenon I have noticed – which for the life of me I can’t fathom out – is all these 30-something women on dating sites who either:
(i). have been married/partnered and have children, former spouse/partner apparently nowhere to be seen; or,
(ii). have no children, and in some cases, have never married, despite being fairly attractive or at least average-looking.
At first, I thought category (i). was women who have been dumped by their husbands (Blue Pill-type thinking on my part), but after visiting a few websites like this one and reading into the problem, I now realise that might not be the case.
Category (ii). is less easy to explain, but raises a major red flag regarding the women concerned – i.e. they’ve been f~~~ing around, thus possible mental/emotional instability, etc..
Incidentally, in my online profile on one site, I have made a point of saying that I am ‘shy’ and inexperienced. This is the truth, not an act or gambit on my part. I know this can be off-putting for a lot of women, but you’d also think that it would provide a useful opening to a certain type of woman. Yet I have had no responses to my messages and no interest whatsoever. So I must assume I am just not attractive or good enough for the opposite sex. Doesn’t say much for women, but the reality is that I want a woman, so what now? Suicide?
We live in crazy times indeed. Women flock to tinder and facebook posting various updates with the sole plan of enflating their ego. Its touch on us men as we only can message them or like their updates with the hope of hanging out with them in real life. Going to bars to seek women may work for some but most of them flake on me it seems. im sick of using tinder and facebook for prospecting girls when in the end they have so many guys hovering around them like me. ive been alone the majority of my life and have several very strong friendships with my crew but I still desire a female companion. I know the ladies all play the same s~~~ on guys and most are mentally f~~~ed in the head but it sucks knowing that and not being able to do anything about it.
You did way better than I. I have sent hundreds just to get a few back. I would write them nice detailed messages at first. They never responded. I tried but to no avail. Then I resorted to copy-pasting stupid messages and then my effort to success ratio was a little better. I have since given up on this. They are so picky it’s not even funny.
You need to ask women out in real life that’s the way to get over your nervousness. It gets easier as time goes by.
"If pussy was a stock it would be plummeting right now because you've flooded the market with it. You're giving it away too easy." - Dave Chapelle
Anonymous11Women are too picky. If you’re not running with the Bilderberg crowd, then you’re always at risk of being traded out for a wealthier model.
Online dating is a waste of a man’s time IMHO. Many years ago I ran a fake female profile at the same time as mine. I got 33 responses for my fake female one and a whopping zero to mine. I can fully understand why attention monger females would love it.
You can bag women from it if you’re willing to work it, but like Roy pointed out it is proven to have more mentally ill potential. I prefer meeting women in real life. It’s way more efficient as nearly all are vapid flakes or land whales so you can learn it very quickly. I’ve even found out it’s easier to land paying work via actual networking with real humans versus wasting my time online. I flat out cancelled my LinkedIn account a couple of weeks ago after a 3 year running experiment.
I wouldn’t waste another second on a dating sight. One thing I did realize about them when I dabbled on them…women most guys would probably rate an 8+ get a ridiculous amount of messages per day. That’s not the bad part…the bad part is when you realize some of those girls have been trolling those sites for years. If you got some girl that has been averaging 10 messages a day on there for a year who can’t get herself off of that s~~~ty site…she’s just an attention whore, or completely f~~~ed up in the head. If they really wanted to find someone and over the course of a year or two literally had thousands of people message them interested in them and not a single one of those men was good enough for them, they are in for a long wait to find some prince charming that doesn’t exist.
Anonymous12Women on these sites get literally dozens of messages a day, often times they don’t even read them all. Also depending on the site they can filter their messages so only ones from people with certain qualities, match % etc get through. The shame is not all of these sites will tell you that your message goes through or not.
I did an experiment of my own and joined as a female, and even though my fake female persona was just an average looking woman I still got heaps of messages, so some men are letting the side down and the messages varied from banal to obscene, and I’m a guy!
I did another experiment with a hot guy photo and women started to message me. So women are shallow and all the s~~~ they write on their profiles about no “hi” messages etc went out the window with hot guy and also I found the women who messaged me were often just saying hi themselves, they are boring themselves.
So my advice? If you have to do online dating just play the odds and do cut and paste messages “Hi, I’d love to chat with you” just pump them out with minimal investment. It doesn’t make a difference anyway. But really just get out there and talk to women anywhere but typical pick up places.
The only women who are rather easy to get on those dating sites are ones who are either
1. horribly obese
2. mentally f~~~ed up
3. nymphomaniac
4. Someone who NEEDS to be in a relationship with a guy however is always getting used by guys. So she keeps seeking guys.
5. Someone who has all of the above qualities combined!
The woman you met sounds like she might be a unicorn, but I doubt it. A woman who is really worth it like that though…….as you found out she is not going to want to date a guy who doesn’t have a damn good income, looks handsome, has a good physique, can take her on vacations to Paris or Milan or some s~~~ like that, who drinks champagne and caviar, etc.
I even tried out a fetish dating site recently. I have found out that most of the women there are not serious about hooking up. They are just there out of
“curiousity” which is just another way of saying they are there for the attention.We live in a different time than we did back when I was in my 20’s. I feel sorry for the young guys of today. You have it bad. Worse than I did. At least back in my day, it wasn’t so hard to get a woman’s attention. Now? Forget it, you have to compete with social media to get her attention. You have to compete with a very saturated internet to get her attention.
I am tired. Worn out. Not in general, but when it comes to women, yeah I am tired and worn out just thinking about them. I have no passion inside of me for women anymore. I won’t expend one calorie of energy trying to get with a woman anymore. So I can’t help you except to tell you not to give a s~~~ anymore. Really. It’s the only way. I used to think getting women= the only thing in life. I no longer feel this way. Women are so unimportant to me now. And it’s a wonderful, liberating feeling to finally feel this way.
Women are parasites. Each and every last one of them.
I get a better response rate when I insult women in my messages. They love it and most of them are too stupid to realize that I am being serious, not joking.
One phenomenon I have noticed – which for the life of me I can’t fathom out – is all these 30-something women on dating sites who either:
(ii). have no children, and in some cases, have never married, despite being fairly attractive or at least average-looking.
Category (ii). is less easy to explain, but raises a major red flag regarding the women concerned – i.e. they’ve been f~~~ing around, thus possible mental/emotional instability, etc..
Those women are lunatics. They are completely bats~~~ crazy and are used goods. I thought I had hit the jackpot when I met the cousin of a girl I went to high school with last summer. There was a long list of very good reasons why she was 31, hot and single. These women have serious issues.
As for online dating, I lie about a number of things. I say I’m in a Master’s program now and I have all kinds of young girls interested. Don’t waste your time being sincere, none of these girls will actually stick around for more than a month anyways. The entire goal of online dating is to spend as little as possible and have sex. No girl goes online and takes it serious or really wants to find a relationship online, despite what they say.
I get a better response rate when I insult women in my messages. They love it and most of them are too stupid to realize that I am being serious, not joking.
Hahaha! This s~~~ really made me laugh. I think mostly because of your Fred Willard avatar.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BxqmX3RtZjqDX2FvMmlEOTQwVGs/view?usp=sharing
#pancaketittyshaming
duplicate
Sovereignty above all else.
The tactic mentioned by BeHerDaddy, of insulting a woman to get her attention, is called “negging”.
For any guys who have not heard of this technique, it is called “negging” because you are baiting her ego. Certain women, actually a lot of women, who must be crazy, get turned on when a guy insults them. It all feeds into the “bad boy” and “reverse psychology tactic”.Say you are at a bar and you see an attractive girl. Girls who are attractive are used to guys falling over them, with compliments and drinks. If you start talking to a girl, and eventually make a subtle negative but sarcastic comment about her shoes – now suddenly you have her attention. Never neg her about her body, but if her hair and makeup are fair game. This phenomena is similar to the “bad boy complex”, which comes natural to me so I never needed to “neg”. Now she thinks “he isn’t falling over me, he must have something going on”.When used carefully, the tactic has a very high success rate.
Sovereignty above all else.
It’s kind of pointless to claim women are too picky. They are not going to start getting interested in you just because you want them to. The market is what it is. It’s much more productive to just realize it’s not something you can change and just accept it. So either live with the fact that you’re hit/miss ratio is pretty low, lower your standards, or improve yourself to get more hits.
I’m currently off all dating sites, but I will probably be back again. I don’t meet many women I find interesting in real life, and online is just easier. For the most part, I don’t initiate contact very often, I wait till they show interest by writing, winking, whatever. Most of the time, I ignore it as I’m not interested. The rare times that I am, I usually find something wrong rather quickly and lose interest. So no, I don’t have a very successful method, but I don’t really care. I get out of it what I put into it, and am fine with that. I’ll probably put more into at a later date, and get exactly what I expect.
Ok. Then do it.
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