Will my dating profile work?

[boisdevieParticipant 257]

So let’s talk about me first of all. I’m 51 and a half years old and in damn good shape. 170cm tall and 68kg which makes my BMI 23.5. Why am I mentioning this? Because women who are fat just turn me off. I work hard to stay in shape and I’m not prepared to settle for anything less in a potential girlfriend. So if you’re ‘curvy’ or ‘full figured’ then don’t bother reading any further. As you can gather I’m pretty uncompromising – I know what I want and I’m not prepared to settle for anything less. So what else? Well my ideal women would be very intelligent and always curious. So if your profile is full of text language and you are unable to punctuate or spell correctly then I’ll assume that you’re a bit stupid. Stupid people bore the crap out of me.
I’m also pretty unconventional. This summer, for example, I’ve done a 400 mile solo charity walk and then did another 300 mile walk in the Pyrenees just for the fun of it. So if your idea of a fun time is a nice night in with a DVD and a bottle of wine then include me out. Likewise, if your profile says that you like meals out, walks on the beach hand in hand and think that shopping can be described as a hobby then you’re pretty dull. I want excitement and adventure – so this year I’m buying myself a big bloody motorbike and a canoe and I’m going to learn paragliding. I might also start rock climbing again.
So if you think you’re good enough for me then please drop me a line. I don’t bite but I do know what I want and at my age I’m not prepared to put up with any crap.

[RoyDalParticipant]

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[UntamedParticipant]

I’ve still got a box of blue pills laying aroud somewhere for you, boisedavie. I sell ’em discount nowadays.

Don't let them Blame, Shame or Tame you!
Give 'em NOTHING, not even an answer!
#GenderSegragationNow!

[ILiveAgainParticipant]

Hahaha for a second I thought you were a tuff independent womenzz ?

You have no fking chance …. you seem unwilling to give all your suff away and are able to think for yourself.

Can I suggest mgtow.com instead ☺

[UntamedParticipant]

Trying way too hard. But i dont know, maybe a chick would like it.

Yeah… would depend on the weather, her disposition, how much’s left in her bank account, those kind of things.

I like prostitutes. They ask way less questions and know exactly how to take care of business.

Don't let them Blame, Shame or Tame you!
Give 'em NOTHING, not even an answer!
#GenderSegragationNow!

[Anonymous 25]

I can make it shorter for you:

“I’m not interested in a relationship. Let’s face it and sex is easy to get and once you’ve poked one pussy you’ve poked them all. If you want the privilege of having sex with me you better be in good shape. I won’t tolerate any crap so if you can’t be pleasant then go message someone else. If you don’t like that, then go buy a cat. I’m only interested in having sex with you if it’s cheaper and less hassle than paying a professional.”

Then sit back and wait for the flaming messages.

[uchibenkeiParticipant 7965]

you’ll still get messages from the fatties because they’re too lazy to read a profile.  they’ll just look at your pictures and think “I deserve a fit guy like that”.  Oh and she’ll be in her 60’s.

but let us know how it works out.  lol  God knows being nice doesn’t work.

I bathe in the tears of single moms.

[Anonymous 25]

Casanova, is that you?

Lol. You would be amazed what works with women. I can even get them to come straight to me for sex so I don’t have to spend money on gas.

[Cap285Participant 6007]

KeyMaster, is that joke dating profile I wrote still floating around the forums?

Fuck this planet.

[IGMOW (I Go My Own Way)Participant 2572]

Work how?  I don’t see that profile filtering toxic women out.  You may get a thin woman, but you could get a Social Justice Warrior, and others.  You could get a drug addict.  You could get psycho woman.  You could get other things.  It does nothing to filter out troubled women, just women that are tolerable to look at for you that you may have an interesting conversation with.

There was a Blue Pill reference earlier in the replies that fits here.  Problems Red Pill pick up on are ignored here.

For a profile design tip, make a LONG list of what you would want, and then state it in the positive, not what you are seeking to avoid.  And you better make sure you know what you are asking for.  That is IF you want to do that.  Dating sites are a monster waste of time though, right down to them putting up fake profiles.  And also, with women, it is all about them, and just them.  Even your interest needs to be about them.  The only part you matter is that you are worthy enough.  Otherwise, the woman has to be some sort of dream or ideal to you.  She would be seeking endless need for validation, being told you love her every day, to keep going.  She is seeking this.  You just need to be worthy enough for her.  That is how it works (maybe some to a lesser degree but be prepared for that).  It isn’t in any way about you, outside of proving your worth.   If that is what you want, go for it, but it is Blue Pill overall.  Now, pump and dump is different.

"I am my own thang. Any questions?" - Davis S Pumpkins.

[I_Walk_AloneParticipant 580]

I tried an experiment on POF once. All of the entitlement, demands and manshaming seeping from women’s profiles was gathered, spun and put into a doctored profile of mine with lines like “I’m not here to pay for other man’s kids” and “I work out regularly, so why would I want to date a 200lb Oreo addict?” and other such trollbait.

I had about 20 messages in the space of two hours, all from indignant fatties who’d had their hamsters nuked from space!!!!

[FermatParticipant 3478]

This is pretty much a male version of a female profile. Female: “I’m fit, so my man should be fit too.” “I have a degree, so I expect my man to be just as smart, if not more smart. Oh and I’ma  grammar nazi, lol.” “I have standards and won’t settle.” “If you’re good enough, contact me.”

You can’t fight fire with fire with women. It’s good that you’re confident, but women want the blue bill orbiters who will pay for their stuff. If that’s not you, don’t bother with online dating.

I have discovered a truly remarkable list of reasons why women are not necessary for a happy life, but alas this margin is too small to contain it.

[StandUpGuyParticipant 334]

I think that you could be more positive and still get your message across. Yours reads as bitter and angry.

This is my suggestion below.

I am 51 and in good shape looking for the same. I prefer people that can accept my life choices and overall view on life. I am a person of depth and also require the same; as the saying goes “bored people are boring”. I am like people that have something compelling to say and always have some that interests them -(other than themselves).

My idea of a good time would be rock climbing or the 400 mile charity walk I recently did. I do not consider myself a home body. For example a night with a DVD and a bottle of whine does not peak my interest.

If you are fit and live life to the fullest please contact me.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

No offense please….

Reads like a “strong and independent” female profile. Saying WAY to much. Don’t let a woman get that far in your head, or give your terms and conditions away that easily. You don’t even know if you LIKE her yet – or if you want a relationship at all. All this S~~~ about a “relationship” before a first meeting is totally pointless.

A dating profile exists for ONE REASON ONLY. To get her offline and to meet in person. With no intention to overwhelm you with don’ts….. Don’t even bother with trying to establish what you will and will not settle for. The only thing that matters is getting her OFFLINE AND INTO THE REAL WORLD. Then take it from there. At least 50% of the women you connect with will want to drag you through 2 weeks of emailing back and forth so she can “learn more about you” but that just doesn’t happen in the real world. ALL you care about is meeting in person. that’s it.

So HAVE SOME FUN with it. That’s what dating is supposed to be. You know… FUN. You can even put that in your opener. The only thing that matters is “are you having fun?”. What you will or won’t settle for you can think about AFTER 9-12 months of FUN and good times with her. Until you are at that place, forget about it.

If you’re going to be rigid about anything you can say you won’t waste 2 weeks emailing back and forth, if she’s not willing to grab her purse and meet you AQAP, that’s what you can use to eliminate them. When you meet a female in life, she doesn’t get to say “WHOAH!!! EMAIL ME FIRST BEFORE I SPEAK TO YOU!!!” that’s insane… so refuse to be suckered in to “i want to get to know you by email first”. That’s an attention whore who likes to fantasize that she is “dating” electronically. F~~~ that.

It’s not “online dating”… it’ online EMAILING. And that’s all it is.
DATING only happens in the REAL WORLD – where there is hair to smell and boobs to fondle.

Rewrite it to make it sound like it would be FUN to meet you as soon as possible.
Thats’ the only goal right now.

Cap285 wrote:

KeyMaster, is that joke dating profile I wrote still floating around the forums?

Nothing would have been deleted on that topic. It’s still there. Scroll up and use the forum search to look for it (right side of the page YELLOW SEARCH BOX marked as a square)

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[Mango IngawayParticipant 2264]

I_Walk_Alone wrote:

I tried an experiment on POF once. All of the entitlement, demands and manshaming seeping from women’s profiles was gathered, spun and put into a doctored profile of mine with lines like “I’m not here to pay for other man’s kids” and “I work out regularly, so why would I want to date a 200lb Oreo addict?” and other such trollbait. I had about 20 messages in the space of two hours, all from indignant fatties who’d had their hamsters nuked from space!!!!

]

I would so like it if you gave us screenshots of that! 😀
Nothing like hamsters getting mgtow-napalm-bombed, really.

By the way OP:

->F O R G E T

->O N L I N E

->D A T I N G

Unless you like useless trollops who are pretty much there only for free dates and attention. That, plus ridiculously high standards, even when they’re ugly as a donkey with down syndrome and dumb as a s~~~.

It is a common failing of childhood to think that if one makes a hero out of a demon the demon will be satisfied.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Mango Ingaway wrote:

->F O R G E T

->O N L I N E

->D A T I N G

I heartily agree with that too.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[Cap285Participant 6007]

Give ’em a taste of their own medicine:

Let’s play a game I call ‘Reverse the Genders’. I’m going to write a profile similar to those of women in my dating range (late 30’s to late 40’s). Since you all have this Santa Clause long checklist where every box needs to get ticked, let me treat you in a similar fashion. I can’t speak for all men, but many, more than you know, agree with me. Don’t worry, plenty of thirsty of simps out there. Wondering what you’re doing wrong? Wondering why you can’t find the ‘perfect’ guy after being on multiple dating sites for 5 stinking years? Don’t act like you haven’t been. Imagine if every male profile you read was like this:

Hello. My money is my own and you will get none of it. Not for some time at least as trust and respect have to be earned. I have a kid and you will never be more important than her. Not. Ever. I prefer petite, women who aren’t land whales with at least shoulder length hair, and so if you’re amazon like tall, have a short ditzy-bob haircut or can’t control your eating, you need not apply. My exercise and hockey league take up much of my time but I’ll squeeze you in if I can. They also take up money…and that’s not going to stop even if we dated on a regular basis. You need to have job. You’re all equal now. If you’re not liar and are truly interested in real companionship, why does what I do for living or where I live matter? Pick equality or chivalry, you can’t have both. At our age, let’s face it, marriage is out of the question as most of us have been dragged through the divorce ringer. Why is just having a long term relationship a problem? Marriage is bulls~~~. Disagree? Probably means you’d like the law involved to get your hands on my cash. Move on.

You will never be my best friend as those are the guys I’ve known since the age of 17, military buddies I’ve bled with, kindergarten and birth. They like me for who I am. You never will. Sex is a very important part of a relationship. Yes, it takes more than sexual attraction and looks but let’s not kid ourselves. You know within the first 45-60 seconds of meeting us if you want to get horizontal (more on this in the date section). So none of this ‘friends first’ bulls~~~ as that means I’ll be shelling out lots of cash for God knows how long. We’re all adults here. No sex by the third date? Move on. Nor did I just fall off the turnip truck. You think I don’t know you’re texting the guy you’re probably going to f~~~ later while we’re sitting at dinner? I’m on to you and tired of competing with your 24/7/365 connection to the hive mind. For the love of God, stay of your phone for 10 minutes, it that’s even possible.

You like to talk about how relationships take work while you won’t do it yourselves. I know your inboxes are over flowing so why work you can sit back and get your ego stroked? Same goes for first dates and as the relationship goes on. I work for the ‘pleasure’ of your company while you do nothing. I won’t put on a clown suit? The next sucker will, on to him. You want to work for a relationship about as much I like the Lifetime channel. It’s all empty rhetoric.

In no particular order, don’t message me if:
1.You have high angle pictures or other deceptive ways of hiding your body. We’ll have to meet in real life eventually so why lie? You want an honest man? Be honest yourself.
2.You think overweight means ‘average’ body type.
3.Have pictures of you with men in them. Who are they? Old boyfriends? FWB;s?
4.Pictures of you with your girlfriends. Which one are you? I’ll wager not the attractive one.
5.Pictures of you with duck lips. Are you 15?
6.Text talk. See 5.
7.Pictures of pets, flowers, motivational quotes, etc. Who the f~~~ cares?
8.Talk exercise and your body doesn’t reflect it. See 1.
9.Pictures of you in Chicago. I’ll just assume you’re pretentious.
10.Pictures of you with wine, going on about wine ad nauseum. Giant red flag of pretentiousness.
11.What I should be doing on the first date. Anything else mom?
12.You plan on giving me a job interview on the first date. Instant walk out.
13.On your phone? Instant walk out.
14.You have a motorcycle. Cool, but no thank you.
15.You have stupid statements in your profile. “I like to have fun!” No s~~~?
16.You are a ‘career’ woman. Pass.
17.You can’t cook.
18.We live in the same town and you want to drive all the way to the city to go to bars. F~~~ing really?
19.You get your life lessons/ideas from Sex in the City.
20.I like super heroes and science fiction. Deal with it.
21.Hockey season is coming. Hope you like watching the Blackhawks.
22.If you started liking the Hawks in 2010, Do. Not. Contact. Me.
23.If you can’t explain icing or off sides don’t even talk to me about hockey.
24.I’m a straight male. I don’t dance.
25.I own guns. I carry one. Get used to it.
26.If you’re “Waiting for Superman, Mr. Right, Prince Charming or the Perfect Guy”. Don’t hold your breath. Remember what I said about being on here for 5 years?
27.“If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best.” I just threw up in my mouth.
28.“Tired of games, liars, players”. Heard it before. Prove it.
29.You’re ‘just looking’. This is a dating site professor.
30.I mostly watch animated shows. Deal with it.
31.I will not go to 50 Shades of Grey. Have fun.
32.If you like the beach. I hate sand.
33.You can’t pull off a bikini. A real one.
34.You have cats.
35.You have anything in your profile stating how crazy you are or how you’ll stab somebody because of your ethnicity. No thank you. Don’t want to be killed in my sleep.
36.You live in Chicago. Too far. Don’t like crowds, waiting or $8 beers.
37.If you think I’m meeting your friends anytime soon.
38.You’re looking for ‘casual dating/no commitment’. Translation – free s~~~ and no sex.
39.You list travel as an interest. It means I’ll be paying for trips. Plus, who the hell would want to go to an airport if they didn’t have to?
40.You think I care what your sign is.
41.You think you’re a queen or princess.
42.You’re pushing 40 and looking for someone to marry. For what exactly?
43.Your tongue is out. Put it back in your damn mouth.
44.“I’m done with the bar scene.” No, it’s done with you.
45.You do anything in mud. Are you a pig? Just another stupid fad you latched on to.
46.You have pictures of girls’ night out with stupid sideways peace signs. You’re always telling us to grow up, why don’t you do the same?
47.Contact me if we dated/talked before. I have a mind like a steel track and I will burn you.
48.Go on about your ‘career’. This does not turn me on, nor do I care.
49.Get surprised when I tell you to go f~~~ yourself if you flake on the first date. No, I won’t’ reschedule.
50.All your friends are guys.
51.You use the following words when describing a man: Career oriented. Secure in his career. Stable. Has a good job and so on. Translation-“I want $$$$$$$$$$$”
52.You have a motor mouth. That is why men play video games. Our consoles have an ‘OFF’ button.
53.You think communication means running your mouth 240 MPH while saying nothing. See 52.
54.I don’t want to hear about your ex. By all means, go back to the guy who spent his paycheck on cocaine or physically abused you as you can’t stop talking about him.
55.You’ve gone through a ‘cougar’ stage. Not paying for sloppy seconds, thirds or fourths you gave away for free to guys young enough to be your sons.
56.You think I’m going to communicate here for days.

A bar I will pick where we will watch professional hockey and you can pay for your own overpriced drink. Or, for once, you come up with something. Do I look like a jester that’s supposed to entertain you? You’ve gone on and on about how educated and intelligent you are but can’t figure out a date idea? It won’t be dinner. Whatever it is, you’ll be paying for your own s~~~. We’re adults, so if you think we won’t be horizontal after the third date, just move on because you want free dinners or lack the will to act which is probably worse.

Whoops. I just disqualified every woman in America. How does it feel? There are reasons you’ve been on dating sites for half a decade. Keep searching for that unicorn.

Friendly advice: Peruse the interwebz for multiple articles and videos of women lamenting about “Where have all the good men gone” and the like. You may control sex, but we control LTR’s and marriage. A little self-reflection wouldn’t hurt either.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————-

Hope this helps 🙂

Fuck this planet.

[Cap285Participant 6007]

Keymaster wrote:

Mango Ingaway wrote:

->F O R G E T

->O N L I N E

->D A T I N G

I heartily agree with that too.

Me 3.

Fuck this planet.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

YES! Epic!

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[Cap285Participant 6007]

Ol’ Uncle Caps other nuggets of online dating wisdom:

 

1. “I want to date but nothing serious” has two different meanings:

a. 23 year old girl? F~~~ buddies.

b. 43 year old woman? Expensive dinners, wine and boring (what they call ‘good’) conversation and no sex.

2. “I’m not looking for a hookup”, “I’m not looking for sex” usually comes from post-Wall hags you wouldn’t want to f~~~ anyway.

3. Women who talk about ‘class’ and fancy dates usually have a public restroom selfie. KeyMaster caught that one.

4. When out on actual dates, purposely mispronounce the names of their stupid wine.

5. If she’s in the bathroom longer than 5 minutes, she’s planning an exit strategy. Pay your half of the bill and leave while she’s still in there.

6. If she’s texting at the table/bar, it’s the guy she’ll be f~~~ing later. Leave.

 

 

Hell, I’m going to be a YouTube dating coach.

Fuck this planet.

[Author]

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