"Why don't you trust women?"

[KeymasterKeymaster]

FullMetalExo wrote:

hmm.. I don’t trust people easily.

I understand that. And Im not saying you should. I’m saying, we DO…. when we feel like it. When are ready. When we WANT to. Trust is payed forward. Even when you go into it with hesitation (like petting a strange dog)… you don’t know he’s not going to take your hand off. It’s something you HAVE to pay forward. Not earn. Even in small doses.

This is how it makes sense to me. I realize it won’t to everyone. But how it relates to women is exactly like that. If I get into an elevator with a female…. I don’t KNOW that she won’t dial 911 and lie that I raped her. I just have to ASSUME that she won’t. That’s paying it forward. A woman would EXPECT me to trust that she won’t do that. You don’t walk into an elevator with a chick and say “how do I know you’re not going to lie about rape?????”

That’s how f~~~ing insane women are with that question. “why don’t you trust women”?
It’s such f~~~ed and stupid question. Especially considering where it’s coming from.

A woman shouldn’t even ASK that question. It’s none of her goddam business and only a fool would EXPLAIN that to her.

Really and truly, the only real answer to “why don’t you trust women”? is “shut the f~~~ up you stupid bitch”.
Nobody is REQUIRED to “trust women”. Its’ not mandatory in the first place. The woman who asks that – is crazy.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[FullMetalExoParticipant 2383]

@keymaster, I agree.

I just don’t think that invalidates the phrase “Trust is earned” because I can trust someone way more, over time, then given initially.

That’s the point I tried to drive across. Or what I am trying to say is  “Trust is given, but MORE Trust is earned/given over time”. F~~~. yep, that.

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[KeymasterKeymaster]

Oh, I absolutely do understand why someone would think “trust is earned”. Its not invalid.

BUT…. really think about it for a minute.

Its not REALLY up to the other person. Just like it’s not up to the strange dog to earn my trust. I can’t expect a dog to smile at me or wag his tail. He will either do that or he won’t. The wagging of the tail is an indicator that’s OK to pet the dog. But I can’t tell the dog “SHOW ME YOU AREN”T GOING TO BITE ME”.

That’s unrealistic and unreasonable.

So my desire to approach is 100% up to ME. I will either pet the dog (trust) – or I won’t ( mistrust).
It doesn’t even have to be “mistrust”. it’s just an unwillingness to trust.

In both cases it’s up to ME to give trust freely – or not. It’s never up to the dog.
So “why don’t you trust women?” is a really stupid question.

It’s like credit cards too. The bank TRUSTS that you will pay at the end of the month. But they don’t trust you freely. You pay 22% for that. They do have to trust freely that you will not overspend and file bankruptcy, though. They don’t have a choice that way.

The point Im trying to make is: it’s freely given by you – or it’s not freely given by you.
To expect you to “earn” it is a cheap s~~~ test as far as I’m concerned.

Where trust is “earned” is when you build credit over time. Nobody is going to give you an unsecured loan for $20,000 on your 18th birthday to go buy a car, so in that way (and every way that is similar) trust is “earned” over time. I absolutely get that. But the question was about women, and that’s a different thing than business. She’s so unreliable and inconsistent and will flip on a whim. So any man who says “a woman has to earn my trust”, I would have to agree with.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[FullMetalExoParticipant 2383]

I agree, I don’t need to tell you to earn it, or push it on you like that women did, or ASK of you.

Its my own thing, the way I see it. It’s not your job to make me trust you. That’s crazy.
But Trust given/earned is the same thing for me : I trust you and give that trust freely, but then, I will “give” more of it once I trust you more. It’s like a snowball from things we discuss, do, live trough etc.

In the end, you and me are sitting behind monitors right now, and this is not literal, as we are not giving each other s~~~ haha, only a good conversation I hope. Im not sending you a Packet of Trust over mail.

 

It just happens naturally to me, I “give” or “trust” someone more as I can see/understand more that person.

That’s what  I mean about ‘earned’. It wasn’t your job or is your pay, it’s just a word I use to describe how I can trust 1 person more then another.

There must be a reason I did give more trust, yes it happens freely, noone is forcing me.

 

The reasons I have to trust you more and the things that make me feel to trust you more I call “earning my trust”. Not literally of course, you don’t give or earn something as a paycheck .

 

PS. The dog example is good, the more I get to know that dog, the more I freely give it trust. Or how I say it: the more it earns my trust.

It gives me more of a reason to trust it even more. (aka “It earns my trust”).

I use both forms to express same idea basically, we say it both ways on russian, to express the same idea. Maybe thats why its confusing as s~~~.

Giving and Earning is not literal here ofcourse.

 

PS.  SBSTRKT – Pharaohs ft. Roses Gabor, song feels good while writing. thanks gta5.

..all that matters is two stood against many.. and the HELL with semantics

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[BrainPilotParticipant 7640]

Woman: “How do I know you’re not a serial killer?”

Me: “Not all men are like that.”

Next.

🙂

Look, it's not my fault that tornado dropped a house on your sister. Now get back on your broom and get your ass out of here... and take your monkeys with you

[FullMetalExoParticipant 2383]

BrainPilot wrote:

Woman: “How do I know you’re not a serial killer?”

Or “How do I know you are not a whore/gold digger ?” Next.  lmao

 

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[KranitzParticipant 22]

I think Clark Griswald said it best

My opinion of women formed from experiance

[narwhalParticipant]

Trust.  I don’t really see it as a matter of being earned or freely given. You’re basically being asked to gamble because an outcome is unknown (the future is always unknown).  You make your decision based on the information you have, your only willingness to take risks, and the potential cost/benefit of the situation.

Every day, I trust that I won’t die in a car accident.  I have the information I have about that is pretty extensive, based on my own experiences and what I know about auto safety, etc..  I don’t have a risky behavior, but the risk is already pretty low.  The benefit is pretty good.  The cost is pretty high.  I trust driving.

I don’t buy lottery tickets.  I know that the odds are really low.  The benefit is high, and the cost is low.    I don’t trust lottery tickets.

When it comes to people, it’s slightly different.  When you first meet someone, you have no information about the individual.  So you must use the information you know about people like this individual to make your decision.   Yes, that’s stereotyping, but it’s the best information you have at the time.  So, would I get in an elevator with a stranger?  Yes, under almost all circumstance, it’s safe.  Now, I may get to know someone over time and learn it isn’t safe…and they I won’t.

The reverse can also be true though.  If I have a blind date with a woman, do I trust her to show up on time?  No.  My information and experience tells me it’s much more likely that she will be late.  She may actually be very punctual, and I may learn to trust that aspect of her over time, but I don’t have that information yet.

So, I see how trust is fully given.  It is up to me to decide whether I trust you.  However, trust can be ‘earned’, in the sense that I can get more information about an individual over time, which would change my ‘baseline’ trust level for strangers.  At the same time, trust can be lost…that is that I can learn that individual is actually below the baseline.

 

If a woman asked me “how do I know you’re not a serial killer?”, and she’s not joking, that tells me her baseline is that men have a high chance of being a serial killer.   She either has very little or misguided information, possibly bad information or high experience with dangerous people, and/or has a very low tolerance for risk.  All of these are bad traits in my opinion, so I don’t think I’d really want to spend time alone with her anyway.

 

Ok. Then do it.

[harpo-my-“SON”Participant 2410]

KeyMaster wrote:

I thought about that many times myself, but disagree. Respect is something you earn. But trust has to be given freely – or not – until it is abused. Women think it’s the other way around. In their minds, they are entitled to “respect”, and you’re supposed to stand on your hind legs and “earn” her trust.

• “How do I know I can trust you”??
• “How do I know you’re not a serial killer?”
• “How do I know you’re not going to rape me?”

That’s bulls~~~.

“You don’t, bitch, You either trust me , or you don’t and you can get the f~~~ out. That’s how you know I’m not a serial killer. But if you think you can just say 5 or 6 lazy words and think Im stupid enough to PROVE that I am NOT a rapist… lady, you are out of your f~~~ing mind.”.

I have always looked it this differently…being respectful is something I felt was taught not earned….You are a respectful person or you are not..It was  taught to me at a very young age to be respectful..No one had to earn my respect..I respect that the thief is going to steal because that is what a thief does. I respect that a woman will lie because that is what a woman does… My respect is given to KeyMasters opinion for no better reason than I am a respectful person…

Your word is your bond and keeping your word proves you are trustworthy…Trust is earned by honoring your bond…Doing what you say you will….I respect everyone, even the people I would never trust…

This is funny to me because I have never  dis-agreed with a KeyMaster post..  I agree with him about the stupid way women phrase their questions..So I am both in and out of agreement…Respect that?

I was bound to be misunderstood, and I laugh at those who misunderstand me. Kind mockery at the well intentioned, but unfettered cruelty towards those would be prison guards of my creative possibilities. This so as to learn as much from misunderstanding as from understanding. Taking pleasure in worthy opponents and making language fluid and flowing like a river yet pointed and precise as a dagger. Contradicts the socialistic purpose of language and makes for a wonderful linguistic dance, A verbal martial art with constant parries that hone the weapon that is the two edged sword of my mouth.

[sidecarParticipant 35862]

Keymaster wrote:

Respect is something you earn. But trust has to be given freely – or not – until it is abused.

“Until it is abused.” There’s the rub.

The thing is, women have abused the f~~~ out of it.  They’ve cheated on it, divorced it, poked holes in its condom, made false rape allegations about it, claimed false paternity for child support from it, and on and on and on.

“Why don’t you trust women?” is the wrong question.

The correct question is, “Why don’t you trust women ANY MORE?”

Once you insert the ‘any more’ where it belongs the question answers itself.

Women can’t earn men’s trust.  They already threw that away.  The question is if they can ever earn BACK men’s trust. That’s going to take a hell of a lot of effort from women, and I don’t see it ever happening, because I suspect any women reading this are already thinking men should fix it for them, and trust doesn’t work that way.

Oh, and as far as the serial killer thing goes, the odds that someone is a serial killer are less than one in a million. The odds that a woman is a lying, cheating, false paternity claiming, gold digging, false rape accusing bitch are effectively one in one. All Women Are Like That. So the next time some bitch tries the serial killer question, throw that right back in her face.

[HimeoParticipant 471]

I agree, there is a minimum level of trust people are “entitled” to. The level of trust I invest in people beyond that is merit based.

[harpo-my-“SON”Participant 2410]

Women are not trustworthy.  Four words that sum up my reasoning well..Only a woman is not deserving or entitled to hear my reasons..So I will say truthfully I do trust women..I trust they will lie, cheat and steal…I respect that this is their nature…So I respect women also..I trust and respect women to follow their natural instincts….Anger and bitterness is much easier to get over when you realize they are only doing what women do…

I was bound to be misunderstood, and I laugh at those who misunderstand me. Kind mockery at the well intentioned, but unfettered cruelty towards those would be prison guards of my creative possibilities. This so as to learn as much from misunderstanding as from understanding. Taking pleasure in worthy opponents and making language fluid and flowing like a river yet pointed and precise as a dagger. Contradicts the socialistic purpose of language and makes for a wonderful linguistic dance, A verbal martial art with constant parries that hone the weapon that is the two edged sword of my mouth.

[Author]

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