Home › Forums › Marriage & Divorce › Why Did We Get Married?
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fqndun 2 months, 3 weeks ago.
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Those of us who’ve been married………what the hell were we thinking? Why, why would I give up my life of freedom and having sex with many different attractive women, and exchange that with living with a controlling c~~~ who purposefully wastes my money and doesn’t have sex with me? I don’t understand why or how I could be so blinded by society. What did I think being married would possibly do for me? I’ve made some dumb mistakes in my life, but I just ………….it’s like something possessed me and forced me to make an extremely stupid decision. I don’t remember what I thought marriage would be like, but it was mostly like all the negative things you typically hear.
When I told my dad I was getting married, his reaction was, “Oh no!”. I completely understand why he would say that. My son, who is currently considering marriage, kept it a secret from me, because he is fully aware of my views. I had to hear it from my x, who surprisingly also thinks it’s a very bad idea. I hope he comes to his senses, but unfortunately, I’m pretty sure he’s going to have to learn from the burn, just like his ol’ dad did. My dad didn’t learn though, as he’s on his second marriage.
I guess I was just ignorant and could not see that I had it made when I was single. Apparently I had to learn the hard way, but it was definitely a very good lesson that I will never forget. That s~~~ty marriage absolutely makes me appreciate the freedom I now have and there hasn’t been one day in the last 7 years that I haven’t appreciated that freedom.
The evil in women’s hearts leaves them no moral bounds as to inhibit them from descending to the lowest levels of darkness to acquire their self entitled desires.
In my case, it was religious coercion.
It came more from external influences than as something I genuinely wanted.
I married as a virgin to a Christian girl. It was my duty to get it done eventually, something to check off the list.Oddly, I stopped going to church just as soon as I got married. I had a very strong unconscious feeling I was being set up and lied to.
I remember the natural calling to life and society, and growing as a person, and worldly experiences as a young adult as simple as the sun shining through the window, and my duty to choose marriage being directly in the way.
I recall being jealous of animals, since they got to live in nature without such bizarre restraints.
My friends who have been in and out of cults describe similar moments–looking up at the sky and wishing they were free, then thinking hey–why am I not free? What is keeping me here?Even though I realize “they got me,” it was still my own choice as a younger man, and I still hold myself to it now–even if I “shouldn’t”. Part of the reason I will never get married again is that marriage is a commitment for life, a commitment I chose to make to another person, under God, and remarrying would be a violation of that commitment which I chose to make and never violated. I suppose a worldlier, wiser version of myself would simply let it all go and forget my vows just as my wife forsook hers–but so far I’ve been impractically good about my view of such things, and renouncing it would mean renouncing myself. See how they get to you. It would mean undoing basically my entire life, since all of my energies were spent saving myself for marriage both before and after the ceremony… Of course as an adult, women are problematic for different reasons now.
"Once you’ve taken care of the basics, there’s very little in this world for which your life is worth deferring." -David Hansson. "It’s not when women are mean or nasty that anything is out of the ordinary. It’s when they are NICE to you that you have to be on high alert..." -Jackinov.
This can be a complex subject so here are my 2 cents.
I believe that from the time men were young children, men were brainwashed into thinking that marriage was the highest level of any relations~~~. If you liked a girl, your goal was to get her to eventually marry you. Anything less and you were scorned or shamed for using women or not being serious and mature enough for a relations~~~. Religion also played a part in that as well. You were considered a sinner for having any type of relations without being married. Then there was the belief that once you got married, that you would get laid whenever you wanted. You were made to believe that in a marriage both parties had certain duties and for the women, providing sex was one of her duties. The word “duty” implied that someone HAS to do something. Nowhere in the vows or marriage contract was that duty written but it was presented as an unspoken truth. Speaking about it was shamed for fear that you were getting married for the wrong reason. Some men blindly accepted these things as truth and would get married. Strengthening these beliefs was the fact that even after feminism took hold, pussy was presented as a rare commodity to a young boy and getting married would eliminate that scarcity. Add in a young boy’s nature, the curiosity to find out how things work, and you have the recipe for the perfect brainwashing tool.Feminism isn't about equality with men, it's about leverage over men.
I loved her. I was crazy about her and I thought it was the right thing to do. It did make my parents ( who wanted rid of me) very happy. And it worked. We had our ups and downs like anyone, but it worked for the most part. She’ll be gone four years in July. Sometimes I wake up at night and I think she’s still there, sleeping next to me. I’ve met dozens of women since then. Haven’t met a one that even comes close.
Men usually get married because of “LOVE”… societal/religious/family expectations…. or both. And sometimes it’s more of a “business” relationship which weighed out seems more profitable for both. The moral degeneration and attack on the traditional family was the “slippery slope” which leads us to where we are now…. 2019.
With traditional roles vilified, and the scales fully tipped in favor of females, the 4th Reich FemiNazi’s are on the march and taking no prisoners. The media, tv, magazines offer no “counter point” or alternatives to the radical Left indoctrination. Any attempt at such is quickly squashed out by the new Communist system still disguised as a “free market” pretending to uphold the 1st Amendment while destroying the last vestiges of it. Honestly i’m surprised Google hasn’t pulled this site yet as “Hate” and “bullying” etc.
The end result of a society in which the radical Left dictates the moral compass, makes traditional successful marriage not only improbable…. but near impossible. No amount of “reason”, good intentions, practicality, or logic, can compete with the tumult of the perpetually stupified. The CULT LEADERS of the Left are not to be questioned…. lest you be deemed a bigoted hateful privileged white male, and banned from the public square 1 by 1. If not crucified for all to see.
“Stand by your man…” has been replaced with “Twerk it you go girl you da boss !” and “#KillallWhiteMales”. Even if you marry a Christian girl…. your odds in this day and age are still dicey. Even if you’re damn near the perfect husband.
I don’t take women seriously anymore and I don’t see any real profit in it. Just horror stories and CAUTION signs. If you got out alive and can still afford a beer you’re lucky.
I remember that she came about when I WAS LOOKING for a “normal” woman to settle myself down as I was living a pretty rough life style when it came to drinking and being stupid.
I thought that a “Good Woman” is what I needed to help me be a Man and grow up blah, blah, blah, and she fit the bill IN THE BEGINNING.
I also DID NOT appreciate all that I HAD and how much I WAS GIVING UP.
If nothing else, this relationship/marriage did lead me to quit drinking as I didn’t want to start a marriage as a drunk and I never wanted any future kids to ever see me drunk. She was never much of a drinker/partier, but she didn’t bug me about my drinking. Of course. I’m guessing that would change if I continued on my path after marriage.
The ironic thing is that she has given me plenty of reasons to get drunk over the years, but I haven’t, and she’s not worth a hangover anyways. LOL LOL LOL
In a World of Justin Beibers Be a Johnny Cash
Even if you marry a Christian girl…. your odds in this day and age are still dicey.
My working theory is there are no Christian women,
with the possible exception of one older lady I work with."Once you’ve taken care of the basics, there’s very little in this world for which your life is worth deferring." -David Hansson. "It’s not when women are mean or nasty that anything is out of the ordinary. It’s when they are NICE to you that you have to be on high alert..." -Jackinov.
I’m glad I’m not young, single, and looking to get married today. These young women today are certifiable insane.
Pure insanity, lack of judgment, ignorance and bluepill conditioning with a high dose of infatuation.
To those following me, be careful, I just farted. Men those beans are killers.
She got pregnant.
TO bad it was not mine.You are all alone. If you have been falsely accused of RAPE, DV, PLEASE let all men know about the people who did this. http://register-her.net/web/guest/home
After a lil bit of reflection, I got married because I THOUGHT I was getting a Woman that was a Great Loving Companion that would do ANYTHING for me, but would also be a wonderful mother as well as a partner that I could count on throughout the ups and downs of life/marriage. THIS is what I was SOLD.
Unfortunately, the Woman that became my wife wasn’t any of these. She changed into a completely loveless, sexless, useless, bitching, whining parasite.
The TRAP had been set, and I jumped in.
My days of jumping are OVER.
In a World of Justin Beibers Be a Johnny Cash
This can be a complex subject so here are my 2 cents. I believe that from the time men were young children, men were brainwashed into thinking that marriage was the highest level of any relations~~~. If you liked a girl, your goal was to get her to eventually marry you. Anything less and you were scorned or shamed for using women or not being serious and mature enough for a relations~~~. Religion also played a part in that as well. You were considered a sinner for having any type of relations without being married. Then there was the belief that once you got married, that you would get laid whenever you wanted. You were made to believe that in a marriage both parties had certain duties and for the women, providing sex was one of her duties. The word “duty” implied that someone HAS to do something. Nowhere in the vows or marriage contract was that duty written but it was presented as an unspoken truth. Speaking about it was shamed for fear that you were getting married for the wrong reason. Some men blindly accepted these things as truth and would get married. Strengthening these beliefs was the fact that even after feminism took hold, pussy was presented as a rare commodity to a young boy and getting married would eliminate that scarcity. Add in a young boy’s nature, the curiosity to find out how things work, and you have the recipe for the perfect brainwashing tool.
I agree with most of the above , I married in 1983 the world was a different place then , I remember feeling I wanted to make her happy , she was being pressured by her parents , also it was “What to do ” as above if you were not married you were a loser etc.
I married for all the wrong reasons , there are no right ones… But I was in the system you sold your life and accepted , like the Moonies I guess…
That said it gave me focus and drove me to work hard and make money , but it was bulls~~~ looking back you were “pLaying a role ” with the information now , why would anyone ?
I was pretty lucky as I got a decent divorce settlement , its a long story but I had a window of opportunity from a financial perspective , pure luck.
I cannot imagine being tied to the same person for the rest of your life. That is usually not how it goes, but still. No thanks.
Because of brainwashing… you get good grades, go to college, get a job, fall “in love” with some female, get married, get a house, have kids… that was supposed to be “making it”.
F~~~ all that noise.
The society that perpetrates the current schema, and by “society” I mean the powerful c~~~s who profit from keeping regular men down, does not serve regular men well at all. So f~~~ them and what THEY want.
Modern society is built on the concept of brainwashing people into thinking they want something, and conveniently that something will profit someone else and is something we don’t really need. I see through the lies; my consent can now neither be engineered nor manufactured.
All my life I've had doubts about who I am, where I belonged. Now I'm like the arrow that springs from the bow. No hesitation, no doubts. The path is clear. And what are you? Alive. Everything else is negotiable. Women have rights; men have responsibilities; MGTOW have freedom. Marriage is for chumps. If someone stands in the way of true justice, you simply walk up behind them and stab them in the heart-R'as al Ghul.
If you got out alive and can still afford a beer you’re lucky.
That’s one of the only good things about my experience. I was scared to death I was going to be divorce raped and subsequently be living in a cardboard box, destitute and miserable. Fortunately, she had plenty of experience with mean spirited divorces and let me off with just paying half for a shared lawyer and a couple hundred bucks a month for child support, which only lasted about a year. Considering todays horrible divorces, I feel I did pretty good.
The evil in women’s hearts leaves them no moral bounds as to inhibit them from descending to the lowest levels of darkness to acquire their self entitled desires.
Because of brainwashing… you get good grades, go to college, get a job, fall “in love” with some female, get married, get a house, have kids… that was supposed to be “making it”.
F~~~ all that noise.
The society that perpetrates the current schema, and by “society” I mean the powerful c~~~s who profit from keeping regular men down, does not serve regular men well at all. So f~~~ them and what THEY want.
Modern society is built on the concept of brainwashing people into thinking they want something, and conveniently that something will profit someone else and is something we don’t really need. I see through the lies; my consent can now neither be engineered nor manufactured.Spot on, I got married because all of my friends were getting married and having kids and I just assumed that is what everyone did. Secondly I was blue pill and I thought that if didn’t marry her she would leave me and I would be single for the rest of my life and never have sex again.
The reality is that getting married pretty much ensures you won’t be having sex again. It also means you will spend your life trying to please someone who is always unhappy and who will eventually get back on the carousel again taking with her your house and the majority of your money.
It’s yet another blue pill conspiracy, nobody mentions the fact that women ride the carousel from 16 to 32 and don’t give blue pillers the time of day. No, that is a big secret between Alphas and Women, 20% of men are f~~~ing 80% of women, yet we are brought up to believe in the marriage, mortgage 2.4 children, go to the plantation each day bulls~~~.
If men didn’t get married they would realise that once they got in their prime (35+) they would literally be beating women off with a s~~~ty stick. They would have their own house, the Porsche and be f~~~ing women left, right and centre without giving a s~~~ about them.
For women, everything eventually boils down to Alpha Fucks, Beta Bucks.
It’s yet another blue pill conspiracy, nobody mentions the fact that women ride the carousel from 16 to 32 and don’t give blue pillers the time of day. No, that is a big secret between Alphas and Women, 20% of men are f~~~ing 80% of women, yet we are brought up to believe in the marriage, mortgage 2.4 children, go to the plantation each day bulls~~~.
If men didn’t get married they would realize that once they got in their prime (35+) they would literally be beating women off with a s~~~ty stick. They would have their own house, the Porsche and be f~~~ing women left, right and center without giving a s~~~ about them.
When reading the second paragraph, remember these are the same women from the first paragraph.
The short answer? Because it really did seem like the right thing to do at the time, and I was fully prepared to spend the rest of my (or her) life with her. In retrospect, I do wonder what in the hell I was thinking. My dad warned me against marriage but of course, “my” Pumpkin was different.
Her cheating, moving in with “Chad”, our subsequent divorce — all of that, along with my coming to view my interactions with the outside world through the Red Pill lens, has led to the single largest shift in my fundamental philosophy and personality ever. The main difference? I no longer take any s~~~ from people. My employer recently wanted me to travel to a foreign country to do something well outside of the scope of the project.. and actually far outside the duties of my actual job, for that matter… for an undefined length of time, and without prepaying any of the costs I would incur (they expect us to front ALL of the costs for any travel, then get reimbursed — which I find morally reprehensible). Before my Red Pill transformation, I would have done it. My reply now? “Very sorry, but I can’t go.” Will they fire me? I doubt it — I have too much “tribal knowledge”. But if they do, so what? I have a degree in a STEM field that’s in demand. I’ve run my own business in the past, and I could again. No f’ks given.
In my dating experience before I was married, I consistently saw flaws in the relationship by 6 months in to it. By that I mean that there was something about her that I knew I was incompatible with. I had lost attraction to her, or there was a personality issue, some of that nature, not so much red flags. It did not want to be with her anymore, it was not that I still liked her but knew it wasn’t going to work. Sometimes I’d know after 2 weeks, sometimes a month, a couple times 6 months.
So given that, when I had dating my ex for 6 months and didn’t want to break up with her, I was all in. I wanted to be married and have kids, and didn’t see myself every really regretting the decision. Growing up, my parents had argued all the time, so I was prepared for the possibility, but also thought I had learned from their mistakes. I was honestly rather shocked when my ex asked for a separation, as the issue we were having were nothing like what I’d seen my parents gone through.
Ok. Then do it.
I got married late in life. I had bought the propaganda that was constantly drilled into my brain by society and relatives that marriage was the end goal for happiness and being complete as a man. And I swore up and down after seeing my cousin go through a divorce that I would never marry a white American woman…so I dated a couple of Chinese women…and one of them was also my best friend from work and I ended up marrying her…..
And then….after about 6 months she let the mask drop and I got to know an entirely different person than I had thought I knew really well…and the nightmare began.
And incredibly angry woman who kept her anger hidden from me when we were friends and put on a big act….and she ended up having major control issues and was very violent as well…and I was in a triple bind…I didn’t dare do anything that would really p~~~ her off and file false charges of Domestic Violence against me because of the laws and the consequences of getting even a misdemeanor conviction if you are a gun owner (life time ban on firearms), and I lost my job….and I was walking on egg shells for years until I could finally get to the point where financially I could afford (just barely) to pull the eject lever and survive the divorce. 7 Years of my life gone. It took another 4 years after my divorce for me to fully recover financially. In some ways I haven’t but in other ways I have since my portfolio stance is completely different. But the main thing is that I managed to retire 10 years after my divorce went final…(mostly due to a series of events that were just “dumb luck” on my part).
Initially I came away from the marriage thinking that what I experienced was an Abnormality….and so I dated a LOT of women…and it was only very gradually I came to realize that what I experienced was really the norm…and I started to get more sensitive to “red flags” (if you know what to look for: women drop a lot of hints figuring that guys are too dumb….yeah…women underestimate us and overestimate their own intelligence…we guys eventually catch on to the CON game being played…but we catch on later in life…and that in turn blindsides middle aged women who think that the same set of rules still apply…..it is when they start to realize that men their own age do not want to date them….let alone marry them…they start to get bitter…and when they figure out that the younger men they are dating only want to f~~~ them….but never ever marry them….they get even more bitter…especially when the women run out of money and have to start working again…then they start to figure it out that if they can’t CON another guy into marriage…they will have to work until they are in their 70’s….or longer..their degree in Feminist Dance studies or Women’s Studies doesn’t even get them a job as a Waitress at the local diner…and their spotty work history on their resume…also counts against them…).
I have met a lot of “former” feminists who got advanced degrees, hit middle age and discovered that they really wanted to be a 1950’s era housewife…but…their eggs dried up…and they hit the wall…and they started to get bitter and desperate as they realized that working 60-80+ hours per week and coming home dead tired to an apartment and a Cat was an empty life…and that Feminism sold them a bill of goods…So there you have it….we men pay for it in spades when we are young and women our age don’t even look at us and they are out f~~~ing the biker dude…getting pregnant from several different Chads…and then they start to look around for a Sucker who is desperate to get married (like I was)…they get divorced or they were never married and middle age hits and they suddenly find themselves unable to find another guy willing to marry them…instead it is just one guy after another pumping and dumping them….and as they gradually get older…and they have less money…and they start having health issues and start thinking about surviving on a measly Social Security Check and fighting the Cat over the can of Purina…they start to begin to think that maybe…just maybe they f~~~ed up…but they would never admit such to a man! (Men are beneath them!)
Yeah…best revenge a guy can have after his divorce is to financially recover; never get married again; and thrive…and as the years go by and the Ex see’s her Ex husband thriving while her situation gets worse….it is sweet…
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