Home › Forums › MGTOW Central › What is your father like?
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Hammerhead 2 years, 8 months ago.
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We all come from different backgrounds and parts of the world. I’m wondering if there is any correlation between the values our fathers and grandfathers taught us which may have inadvertently led us down the path of MGTOW?
For me I came from a middle class home in the Midwest. My personality is naturally one of extroversion however since I was born with a disability and shorter than average stature life was much harder but I’ve made the best of it. My father has been married to my mother for 37 years and worked hard his whole life to provide for his family. My mother cooked, did the laundry, cleaned, did the bills and took care of us kids. She never complained about her part to her credit.
My dad is will be 70 next year and comes from a family of church, sports, manly values and being just. My dad was in law enforcement for 30 years (as was my grandpa) and drank at least 4 fingers of straight vodka every night in chair after dinner. He was never a drunk but it was his way of relaxing from the stress of family and work. The loves to tell stories and can be the life of the party. However, he isn’t afraid to put people in their place if need be as he was always a man of justice. He hates thugs, graffiti, stealing or down right being rude to anyone. My dad has never lied or tried to get one over on anyone as long as I’ve known him.
That being said he never really instilled any MGTOW valves in me. My mom and dad support each other but she would constantly nag him and ask hundreds of stupid questions at a drop of a hat. The old man took it most days but every now and again he would have to raise his voice to my mom and let her know that she needed to check herself. He in many ways is a defeated man who has accepted his fate. He sticks to golf, sports talk radio, reading and hanging out with his other old guys friends vs. being with my mom. They respect each other but their is no passion or longing.
When I told my parents that getting married today is financial suicide given the culture and probability of failure my dad looked at me proudly. My mom freaked out and told me I was bitter. You could tell she wanted grandkids. My dad immediately stepped in and said, “He isn’t bitter… he is just pragmatic. There is no way to 100% protect yourself in any partnership, whether it be a marriage or in business.” I think in a way my dad silently wants me to not make the mistake of towing the line in life. My hope for my mother and father as the near the end of their lives is that they learn how to embrace their freedom and learn a little bit more about themselves.
Has your dad, grandfather, brother or uncle inadvertently led you to a life of MGTOW? Have they been divorced or gone through hell and back?
Anonymous42My father is awesome! He’s the king of IDGAF! He definitely put the sand in my saddles! He’s a god among men for the s~~~ he gets away with!
My father was a f~~~ing saint – what he saw in mom though I’ll never know – she’d make Homer Simpson seem like a responsible parent by comparison,DOH!!!
So in a funny way it was SHE who started me out on the way to MGTOW.
Lifes a bitch,but you don't have to marry one!
Anonymous11My father was tough. The 30s depression and WWII made him a hard man. He taught me well.
Not sure. Haven’t seen him since I was a child. Tracked him down last Friday and left a message on his voicemail.
Pursuing Happiness and Freedom.
Anonymous42Not sure. Haven’t seen him since I was a child. Tracked him down last Friday and left a message on his voicemail.
That’s great 007! I hope he returns your call! If I had a kid all grown up I’d want to know how he’s doing! However that’s not always the case, you’re the manlier man for reaching out and trying in spite of the chance of a great disappointment.
Let us know how it goes either way, we’re here for you, we’re in your corner!
My dad was a survivor of WW2. An infantry man of the Cyclone Division, an Avenger of Bataan, and, as my mother used to jokingly call him, a short, fat Dago. He was a steelworker during the glory years of Bethlehem Steel and the father of the two most impossible sons he could have wished for. He always wanted to live to see the 21st century, but he died in 1997 of heart disease in his 80’s. He re-married after my mother died, but wouldn’t date women until he had mourned my mother for a year. It was an Italian thing. He had a hot temper and a great sense of humor. He was also a great dancer. Oh. the stories I used to hear about him and my Aunt Helen cuttin’ the rug to the jitterbug. I still try to live up to his expectations to this day, and I always feel I’ve fallen short, which keeps me striving for perfection in everything I do.
"Don't follow in my footsteps...I stepped in something."
Anonymous5My dad’s a Vietnam veteran and he was a corrections officer for 15 years . My dad was always there for me and my brother and he’d let us get skip school to help with cars.my dad’s only 5foot4 but he’s tenacious as f~~~.I was lucky to have both parents even through tuff times we stayed close to each other . But he died a lot since my brothers death but still looking forward to life.I have the utmost respect for my parents .
What is your father like?
Was.
I have said here many times….. I came to understand him – and all of the things he did NOT say – years after his death , more than when he was alive.
The quietest man of a few words I have ever known.
Nothing wrong with him – he just SAID LESS and DID MORE.He wasn’t vert articulate ( or social ) but he didn’t need to be – and still, everybody liked him.
In fact, Mom was sure his funeral attendance would be very sparse, but her mind was blown when 10X as many people showed. Some of them flew. One of them was a man who hired my father to build a boat, and they hadn’t seen each other in 45 years. My father said “OK, I’ll build you a boat….. as long as you pay for the materials for TWO boats”.
… and he built himself one at the same time.
I still go fishing in it.I would have never guessed he was a frustrated MGTOW , because he was such a VERY dutiful husband and father,…. and I learned this at age 17 for the first time. I bought my mom, brother and Dad each one lottery ticket when the jackpot was huge. I asked him what he would do if he won. He didn’t hesitate and said “I would give you $10 Million . Your brother $10 million. Your mother $10 million…. and I would f~~~ off to my home country”. Exact words.
On a fishing trip when I asked him about “marriage”, he simply looked over the rim of his glasses and said “don’t do it”. That was the extent of the conversation and we never had a moment on that topic again . . . . but I was very aware of (and paid attention to) their marriage dynamic.
He was head machinist for INCO™ – the International Nickel Company – and built things like the world’s hottest furnace, and a machine that turned wood chips into highly efficient fuel which was sold to the Japanese.
He would retreat to the garage (or his workshop) after meals and just wanted to be left alone in his sanctuary. Those were the only two places nobody told him what to do, or where to put things, and he could be alone with his own thoughts. He NEVER interfered with our personal lives, never lectured, and was never unreasonable.
When he was diagnosed with cancer, he didn’t have long and went very quickly. We had a gathering shortly before and many lectured him on “no more smoking” and “no more drinking”. This is when I spoke for him and told them to BACK THE F~~~ OFF. He was very grateful for that. If the people I slaved for for 4 decades ever spoke to me like that, I would have lost my s~~~ on them. They only thing they are permitted to say is “THANK YOU”.
Before he went, we had a few moments together and he knew how much he meant to me. Just before he died, I was at “the cottage” with friends=, immediately shut it down and drove to the hospital 3 hours away. He was gone when I got there.
Mom said “it’s OK. you can cry if you want”.
I said “Don’t tell me what to feel. I’m happy for him. He finally has some PEACE.”
And then I left the room. She knew what that meant.I understand him much better now than I ever did when he was alive.
It blows my mind.If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.My dad was distant and cold. He worked constantly, day and night. The biggest fights they had were over how my dad worked so much he didn’t have a good relationship with his kids.
He cared about himself and my mother. He didn’t care for his kids. My mother made him take us to work loading trucks for his business and he never opened up about anything. He wouldn’t even teach me how to replace a window or door.
Have a talk about the birds and the bees??? Really?
When I was about 9 I actually asked and he still wouldn’t tell me. He had my uncle Bob tell me.
He was a good family man, took care of his wife and kids, worked very hard but didn’t have a congenial personality.
Despite him I learned the most important thing you can do at a job and that is work hard. I always work hard like my dad.
Working hard has been the key to my success.
#icethemout; Remember Thomas Ball. He died for your children.
Excellent. So was his Dad. So was my mother’s Dad.
I’m the f~~~up. My brothers are both wonderful men.
My father left when I was a year and a half old.
I have never known him.
And although I would have never chosen to plan it that way. It was something during my early years that I was forced to deal with and adapt to.
So I occasionally laugh when I hear the term ‘self actualized male’ and then references to a father.
Who the Sky-0 was always meant to be as an entity on a journey of evolutionary growth, could only come to full actualization as a man:
In the absence of ANY other male influence and/or direction at all and at any point in time.
Only then, and via a true blank slate, unassisted as well as uninfluenced by a direct genetic predecessor can one objectively claim that their current state is a result of all of their own decisions and volition.
If you were fortunate enough to have grown up with and had a relationship with your father, then that is great. I am happy for you and I’m sure it worked out well.
But don’t make an attempt at ever convincing me that you evolved and became a sovereign entity while also implying that it was done in the absence of any direct influence by the same father that raised you and you grew up with.
You can’t have it both ways. It’s one or the other.
My dads 78 . He has parkinsons . I live with him and look after him .
The original plan back when i had a home and my kids he was going to move in with me and the kids . But wonder c~~~ f~~~ed that up when she pinched the kids to keep her arse from going to jail after not seeing them for three years .
My older siblings don’t bother with my father now he doesn’t have any cash left except the odd call from my c~~~ sister who upsets him every time . He won’t let go . All the grand kids are f~~~ing arseholes to . Not even a f~~~ing thank you call after my sister picked up my father before xmas and had him spend a few hundred dollars on his great grand kids . That was a chunk of his pension . He broke down and cried on xmas day not one call . Love my dad . When he passes away if they come putting on tears or looking for crumbs i will f~~~ them up .THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .
But don’t make an attempt at ever convincing me that you evolved and became a sovereign entity while also implying that it was done in the absence of any direct influence by the same father that raised you and you grew up with.
What can I say?
My adoptive father was a Blue Pill mangina and as I grew as an adult myself I realized over the years that he really wasn’t very bright either.
I never knew my biological father but they tell me that he was a complete and total asshole.
I prefer to think that I’m the opposite of both of them…
He is in his 60s we have disagreements but he is a good man. He and my mother allowed to think for myself and that is something I’ll never forget.
A MGTOW is a man who is not a woman's bitch!
Nothing I’ve ever achieved was enough for him. The only life lesson he taught me is “If my own father doesn’t give two s~~~s when I’m not successful, how would the world think of me.” he would never trust me with house chores, wouldn’t show how to use a screwdriver so I can say proudly that I became a man who can take care of himself inspite of him. It’s all cool, I’m fine with it, I will give them a chance to flaunt with my success but nothing more. They should expect nothing more. You realize how f~~~ed up it really is when your gym trainer kisses you on the forehad saying you did good but your own father not even once.
When I have a pen in my hands, it's lethal.
My father is a modern liberal hardcore democrat. He is a weak coward. I lost all respect for him once I completely understood how brainwashed he was. Getting a college education was so important to him that when I was unable to complete the program due to my physical health instead of caring about me as an individual because I truly was not feeling well he treated me like absolute garbage and then cried because I didn’t get a degree.
He cried like a little f~~~ing baby. All he knows about generating wealth is go to college, work for someone else until your 80 in some bulls~~~ office job, then die. F~~~ that. I’m a business man and I don’t give a F~~~ about working in someone else’s office. Only my own. Working for someone else is sickening to me, taking orders like a dog. F~~~ that. I make my own money for myself. Period.
He showed 0 empathy or caring. My dad is a complete moron retard who I have 0 trust in and who I will never trust.
He cried tears of joy when Obama got elected as if he was the saviour of mankind and literally God himself walking around. Pathetic. My dad is physically weak with a huge pot belly stomach who does not know how to physically take care of himself.
He is shrinking and getting shorter and shorter. My dad doesnt know f~~~ about money how to save it how to invest or how to spend it. He is perpetually broke and in debt since I have been born even before that. He is a literally retarded debt slave.
He wastes money on stupid bulls~~~ like a fool and cow tows to my mom all the time.
All he does is go to work, spend more money than he makes on stupid useless s~~~ so he is always a poor f~~~ and broke, then watches tv for hours and hours a day then sleeps. On weekends he just watches tv all day long and sleeps.
I am 100% ashamed of my father who taught me nothing about being a man or even how to survive or live in this world.
For those of who with kickass and legit fathers cherish them. Not everyone is so blessed.
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My father has been dead for nearly thirty years.
He was the youngest of five sons and was what used to be called a “bonus baby”. That meant he was born late in his parents’ lives as a “bonus”. His father was born in 1886 and his mother in 1892. He was born at home in 1934 when his mother was 42. I guess he was lucky to be healthy considering his mother’s age.
My grandparents were Scots immigrants. He had been apprenticed in the plastering trade. She was in “service”, meaning she was on of those slaving maids you see on Masterpiece Theatre all the time. He originally just did seasonal work in the US but stayed for good after the 1906 earthquake in San Francisco. She got shipped over when the lady she was working learned her daughter in Canada was pregnant and needed help.
My grandfather was a very hard man by all accounts. When the Great War broke out, he and a friend went to Canada in the fall of 1914 to volunteer and ended up as part of Kitchener’s New Army on the Western Front. How they survived is beyond me. He didn’t get back until 1919.
You need to know all of that to understand that as the baby of the family – his oldest brother was born before WW1 – my father was coddled and doted on. Everyone loved him and excused whatever he did, even my hard ass grandfather who apparently had mellowed over the years. My father’s brothers would tell horrific stories about their own early childhoods compared to his.
My father had a typical Depression, WW2, Post-war Boom, childhood. He was drafted out of high school and saw the tail end of Korea. When he came back he kicked around a bit until he trained as a machinist. From the stories, he was a bit of a Chad or much of a Chad as you could be in the 50s.
At his best he was a charmer. Most of the time he was a bulls~~~ artist who knew intuitively how to “manage” people. He became as slick a salesman as you’ve ever seen pushing machine tools for Brown & Sharpe across North America.
He was also lazy, unambitious, and had little time for me. My mother, two sisters, and most of my extended family still worship his memory. There were nearly 500 people at his funeral in ’89.
My father taught my sisters and I how to order in restaurants, basic car maintenance, how to make flight reservations, and all the other fun skills traveling salesmen need to know. He did set us a great example by constantly reading and observing the people and world around him.
He also didn’t teach me how to shave, never really spoke to me about women, never took me to a sporting event, never took me camping, never encouraged me to participate in sports, and never took much of an interest in anything I showed interest in.
He was glib, charming, funny, caring, and all the rest but it was just a shallow facade. Once you got past the surface there wasn’t much of a man there. I learned how to “schmooze” from him. I can strike up a conversation with a complete stranger, put them at ease, and all the rest. While my father did it without thinking, when I do it I know I’m faking.
When I left college and joined the Navy saying I needed to do something with my life, he said nothing. When I successfully passed Naval Nuclear Propulsion Program with it’s 60% wash out rate, he said “Wow, you did it.” Our conversations during my Navy years were as few and just as shallow as they had been before.
The two weeks after I got out of the Navy, he was diagnosed with a brain tumor. All my post-Navy plans fell apart, both my sisters were still in college and my mother was going crazy with grief. I ditched everything and fashioned a different life path for myself all to help care over the next two years for a man who had been more of an amiable and distant uncle than a father.
Before the tumor took away his faculties, he wrote letters to my sisters and I. Their letters are wonderfully inspiring messages telling them to love life and all the rest. My letter is an apology for not being the kind of father I needed. My sisters letters are framed and hang proudly on their walls. My letter was burned right after reading.
If I owe my father anything, keeping secret his admission he was a fake is a small debt. I couldn’t risk having the letter found and his reputation tarnished among all the people who still after three decades think so highly of him.
Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.
My father’s life didn’t lead or influence me towards MGTOW, but it did prepare me for it. My grandfather joined the Army during WWII with my dad growing up traveling with the military. My dad signed up during Vietnam and I got to grow up traveling from base to base.
This life of frequent relocation lends itself to MGTOW. You learn to be comfortable being self reliant. Every few years you have to move cross country and start over. I’ve learned to easily make friends, as I have to do it frequently. I didn’t invest too much in relationships as we would move frequently.
It’s a blessing and a curse. You can make friends easily, but also ‘not give a f~~~’ as needed.
A co-worker recently told me, "If you want to see who someone really is, divorce them." I have found out how true this is. When your wife drops the façade of being the caring partner, you will witness all of the greed, hate, and spite that she has masked. It is truly breathtaking!
wouldn’t show how to use a screwdriver so I can say proudly that I became a man who can take care of himself inspite of him.
My father was a licensed auto mechanic and he would always say to me that I was “as useless as t~~~ on a boar hog”.
I shut him the f~~~ up when as just a teenager I was able to run circles around him with my mechanical abilities. He would get me to fix the s~~~ that he didn’t know how to do…
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