What Are The Common Female Pharses That You've Heard?

[Anonymous 1]

like, you know

spit it out, for gods sake, or go away.

[Anonymous 1]

why don’t we ever …. like other couples?
I dunno – because those things bore the s~~~ out of me?

[Anonymous 3]

Do I have to do everything?
Translation – do I actually have to do something?

Do I have to think in everything?
Translation – you failed to think what I am thinking!

I am exhausted!
Translation – I did something!

I am thinking …
Translation – you have a lot of work/expenses coming your way!

We should …
Translation – you have a lot of work/expenses coming your way!

[Anonymous 0]

Whenever the precede anything with, “I’ve been thinking” pause, you can bet the next phrase is going to be some stupid f~~~ing s~~~ that will likely p~~~ you off.

[AntipathyParticipant 4901]

“He’s the weirdest guy i’ve ever met.”

That’s when i know my work is done. They don’t know much about me, but they know i have no interest in them, they can tell i’m not gay, and at that point, i become the weirdest guy they’ve ever met.

[BrainPilotParticipant 7640]

@Rockford,
You are correct, Sir. How the hell did we forget that classic?

Her:”If you can’t handle me at my worst…”…

Me (Interrupting): “I’ve already seen your worst, cupcake. Unless your best is a childless, barren, deaf, mute, virgin, nymphomanic, lottery winning gourmet chef, supermodel, sports fan, I think I’m just going to pass on the whole package. NEXT!!!”

Look, it's not my fault that tornado dropped a house on your sister. Now get back on your broom and get your ass out of here... and take your monkeys with you

[Sky-OParticipant 18948]

‘I’m being stalked by a guy’

Translated:

A guy that she dated for three years and was eventually engaged to texted her a few times after the break up.

Because he just wanted an answer about how it was possible that she could have been banging 4-5 other guys during the relationship with him.

(His last email counts as another ‘stalking’ attempt too)

[SamsquanchParticipant 4226]

Literally

Seriously

[AkanbiParticipant 2120]

Zuberi Tau wrote:

“I need my space.”

My brother make you no follow sheeple o. Look them and Go Your Way.

[DanceMyOwnWayParticipant 2097]

I’ve never done this before (taken it in the ass etc) or once before
= I’m an anal aristocrat

I will love you always and I will be here if you need me
= bulls~~~, but she would probably still bang you again

He’s just a friend
= He’s warming up in the bullpen
He’s in my beta friendzone
I’m f~~~ing him

He’s gay
– but she’d still f~~~ him
He’s bisexual
She’s f~~~ing him

You need to find a good woman next time. Nawalt
= I know how toxic my fellow females are but I am different and a special snowflake so there must be other special snowflakes out there for him (but I’d still bang him even if he met one and told me about how wonderful she is)

My boyfriend/husband/ex has so many issues/is abusive etc.
= I’m about to or am justifying my reasons to perform sexual gymnastics with you. Oops it “just happened”. No worries I’m a girl so my emotions validate ans backwards rationalise all my behaviour.

If you fall down 7 times, get up 8

[Author]

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