What about BDSM submissives?

[Anonymous 42]

casquetero wrote:

@MG-TOWer: Had you seen the “massage milking” or “milking table” videos on the porn tubes? That is a modified type of BDSM – where the guy is passive although not necessarily restrained. Highly recommended (when done gently)…

Never into porn, seen enough of it, but never into it, just pussy, “there’s nothing like the real thing”, passive, yea, I never touch their heads when receiving a marrow extraction on my boner.

[Eric LauderParticipant 84]

casquetero wrote:

My former lover, a bisexual female lawyer, gived me a suggestion about BDSM, the very same suggestion another female lawyers is giving in that article http://thefederalist.com/2015/02/12/men-friendly-tip-from-a-lawyer-never-engage-in-bdsm Really good article. It basically confirms what I mentioned – never get into BDSM sexual behavior with an amateur. Doing real bondage or sadomasochism acts with someone who is just “curious” about it, spells all kind of problems. Again, the issue are the herds of women getting into BDSM inspired in the novel / movie without knowing what the REAL practice involves. Those women are the danger… and if you are a guy who is also an amateur (like the idiot from Chicago), then multiply the dangers by 500 times! There are way too many misconceptions about BDSM (thanks Hollyweird!) – and most of it is totally laughable. Personally, I never got a problem with any women I practiced bondage. You have to pick them carefully, train them, and make them trust YOU (still, you must be on the defensive as always). Ironically, the best description I had found of the differences between real vs fantasy BDSM practices had been in a Cracked post… 7 Realities of BDSM 50 Shades Leaves Out… A discussion of the study mentioned by @Ixentas (Google the name of the researcher for access to the actual study) @MG-TOWer: Had you seen the “massage milking” or “milking table” videos on the porn tubes? That is a modified type of BDSM – where the guy is passive although not necessarily restrained. Highly recommended (when done gently)…

I went to see “50 shades of grey” with my actual part-time lover (I consider her unimportant, even she’s not aware about it 🙂  ) and she’s pandering me to try light BDSM. Frankly, apart from the legal risks, I’m not into that: I have no desire to dominate a woman with simulated violence (I prefer psychological dominance 🙂  ) nor I like to be submissive to her. My ex-lover, bisexual female lawyer, was quite funny but it wasn’t real BDSM: basically she weared funny t-shirts like “I’m a rapist, do not turn me in a murder” 🙂  during intimacy, she wanted almost always stay on top, she scratched and bited, and she wished to be rudely squeezed in the ass during intercourse. Nothing more. That’s not BDSM, of course.

[Anonymous 2]

I saw 50 Shades as a trashy cam .AVI this week just to be able to comment on the phenomena at all, it was weird fanfiction anyway so I never made an effort. The behaviours displayed by Christian Grey would indeed make him a legal timebomb, and as a dominant he does not confirm to any rule or regulation invented in any BDSM community or the laws of his country. The contract is off course, not legally binding in any kind of sense. In real life these contracts are basicy a couples bucket list and have nothing to do with the matter of consent legally. I enjoyed Danny Elfman’s music and Dakotas body. It was slightly more engaging then regular porn but it’s SM elements were poorly thought out.

I dug a little deeper into local law to validate the following claims. These are the facts for the Netherlands.

BDSM is defined in the law of my country as a leasure activity with a modicum of risk. It is regarded in the same way boxing or scuba diving opens up a person to a managable risk of bodily harm. There are privacy laws specificly designed for it. The more public and apparent your consentual BDSM relationship the harder it is for a predatory women to claim any kind of abuse. Previous studies already indicated BDSM practitioners are not more likely to have mental disorders or claim rape and abuse. From 2010 there were 27 BDSM related legal cases here of which 11 lead to any kind of persecution. I found information on two that came down to human trafficing and child abuse cases, both involving restraints (and not consenstual BDSM). The government specifically indicated that there is no grounds for any kind of legal changes regarding BDSM. Should you want to strengthen your legal position the same principle as with scuba diving can be applied by keeping digital logs together with anyone subject to potentially dangerous play and sharing these logs (lawyer’s advice).

Content is in Dutch: http://marijkespraktijken.nl/bdsm/nederlands-recht-bdsm-1/

With 48% of males identifying as purely dominant and 75% of women identifying as purely submissive we can state that females are more submissive then men are dominant. 18% of men identified as switch and 16% of females, of which only 8% identified as dominant. Remember all participants and the control group were European, but this is relevant for the type of women most of us deal with. There are submissive, servicable women out there for low-level MGTOWs, myself included.

[flailerParticipant 31]

More than one of my ex-gf would encourage me to get really nasty.  One prompted me, many times, to do anything – ANYTHING –  I wanted.

And I did…  but only with one.  With her I did everything I wanted and beyond.  (with other gfs, if i didnt get mostly what i wanted i would break it off)

The more outrageous the act, the wetter her pussy got.  She would get so wet, and cumming, before I got off that it really encouraged me to go further and further.  Her bookmarks (and cookies too) were for BDSM, including some brutal stuff, and nasty imagery.

Well, I was never comfortable getting anywhere nearly as brutal as the stuff she viewed on the web.  So, I just backed off, and did right up to the level that I wanted.

The only reason I felt comfortable doing this “s~~~” was because there was always an electronic record of her own making.  … That included me backing-up her web-browsing-history and emailing it to myself…. from HER email address.  (no, she didnt know I was doing that)  Also there were the texts & sextexting from her that were requests for action.

Additionally, follow-up messages from her, after she had been thoroughly …  “thoroughly ran through the wringer” … contributed greatly to my comfort level in future rendevouz.

[Obi C.Participant 17]

It’s interesting that you bring this up…because I’ve been wondering myself about it.  While its not exactly BDSM, I do enjoy a woman who is aggressive in bed and likes to play rough. I have had only one experience where a woman straight up asked if I was into choking (specifically choking her).  I was a sophmore in college was studying for a genetics test at the library with her at the time. While talking we got into a really sexual conversation, and she asked if I was willing to have sex with her right there in the study room on the condition that I strangled her while I did it. I was very naive and inexperianced…and frankly the concept freaked me out a bit. The girl had a boyfriend…she had literally been telling me minutes before…and while I’ve always wanted to bang a chick in a library (unfulfilled fantasy of mine…one of these days), I had an issue with the fact that she wanted me to choke her.  I considered the following facts:
1. I barely knew her let alone trusted her. (risk)

2. Choking her would leave marks…and left me completely open to her pointing a finger at me and crying rape. (culpability)

3. She had a boyfriend…who would likely see the marks…and in order to preserve that relationship she might have cried rape. (motive)

After assessing that the risk just wasn’t worth the reward, I politely declined. I really attribute this to my mothers words of warning to me before going off to college: “Ray, all women are bitches…they will try to manipulate you and put in situations that can only hurt you. Don’t trust any of them.”  I always just figured she was super paranoid, but given the situation I figured why risk it.  For the longest time I have regretted that decision…until recently where my own experiences have in fact proven my mothers words were true (as much as I hate to admit it she is right about a lot of things in those regards).

I suppose what I’m trying to say is…that if you really think you know the woman well enough, you’re probably wrong and frankly I still wouldn’t risk it.  An exception might be made if she is willing to sign a legal consent form…but honestly I’m not clear on whether or not the law would even uphold that.  Any thoughts?

[Q_ElementParticipant 19]

BrainPilot wrote:

I’m almost 50 years old, and in the time that I’ve interacted with women, the most common request I’ve gotten from them in the bedroom was some variation on force, restraint, non-consensual, domination…etc. Some variation on this was the stated preference of about half of them. When I heard that 50 shades of gray had sold 50 million copies, I started to think that of about 240 million people in the country, half are women. But I’ll call it 100 million to account for disqualifying females too young to read a book like this, too old or senile to be interested etc. So half of all the women I’ve known have had this sort of fantasy, and apparently, about half the 100 million women in the country have read this book. So my sample of the female population seems in line with the total population. @ Inxentas – When I was younger, more naive and much more driven by hormones, I would give a woman just about anything she asked for in order to continue having sex with her. I agreed to some of these requests. But I stopped when I wised up. I have not agreed to this request in a very long time, and here is why: You typed the following in your post: But once a female is involved, she must be honest and upfront about what she wants, clearly communicate it in a concise, non-emotional way. Inxentas, my young friend, I don’t want to rain on your parade, but let me explain what happens when you stumble onto a woman who is not as you describe. First, this will not be printed on her forehead. You’ll have to discover it (when you tie her up and spank her ass with belt, whip, whatever and she seems to like it). Maybe she’ll twitch and squirm and never use a safe word and you’ll think you’re a successful dom and be proud of yourself. Then, perhaps when it’s over her preference will change… She calls police and on their arrival, tells them you raped or otherwise sexually abused her and shows them a mark (any mark will do). You will be arrested and taken to jail. If you can get out in time to make it back to work, perhaps you can keep your job, at least for a while. A criminal charge will be filed against you indicating felony sexual assault. Probably rape or attempted rape (both first degree felonies). You’ll eventually face this charge in public court being defended by a criminal defense attorney who will have already done a background search on you to get an idea of the amount of what were formerly known as ‘your assets’. Those assets you thought were yours will have been converted to a ‘retainer’ which is just another name for a scholarship fund for his kids… But for the time being, you’ll probably just be preoccupied with making bail…and sticking to the provisions of that restraining order they gave you on the way out of jail with the bondsman… Before you ever appear in criminal court to face these charges, your passport and any guns you had will probably be confiscated. Think of the passport confiscation like a new version of the ropes… to hold you in place for things to come afterward. Eventually though, you will find yourself in criminal court. By this time, your name, charge and court date are part of public record. If the media can create a story from it that will sell newspapers or get ratings, you can be certain that is exactly what will happen. Your job is probably long gone by that point (or soon will be), and without it, your house will follow shortly. Good luck passing a background check for another job, mortgage, loan, etc To borrow a line from a favorite mgtow movie, you’re about to be f~~~ed by a train. Because, while you may have thought you understood that woman’s preferences, those preferences have now changed, and she’s decided she’d prefer watch you twitch and squirm for a while…just not in exactly the same way. You don’t have the presumption of innocence. You have no proof of anything, but the prosecutor has pictures of her taken by police, with marks on her that you put there. If you are lucky, you’ll be offered a plea bargain for 2nd or 3rd degree felony, probation, community service, forced physiological counseling and registration as a sex offender which will follow you on any background check for the rest of your life. If you’re not lucky, you’ll get convicted and serve time in a state prison on a rape charge… where you are likely to experience a whole different variation on those dom-sub games that you once played… So tell us all here, when you’re standing in state criminal court in front of the (female?) judge, across from the teary eyed female victim you ‘raped and abused’…with a jury that includes several bitter, feminist, post wall women… what is YOUR safe word that you are going to use that is going to stop this process and let you just walk away? I’ve belabored the point here to be sure I make the point: by agreeing to play these games with a woman, you have handed her every single ingredient she requires to f~~~ your life like a train…while trusting her to just choose not to do it. You may as well have married her for the risk you are taking. And for taking this risk with these gargantuan stakes, you’ve gotten in return exactly what??? And if you think I’m just being paranoid and this is unrealistic, Google “Tawanna Brawley”, “Duke Lacrosse Team”, “Rolling Stone fraternity rape” and see if you learn anything about the way a woman’s ‘preferences’ can change…

If this very realistic scenario doesn’t make anyone think of the potential consequences of involving yourself into this decadent BDSM lifestyle. Then I don’t know what will!

[peterfaParticipant 833]

BDSM submissives aren’t much different. Like all categories, there are 10 women seeking a man to man seeking a woman. Despite all the effort of men to get their attention, those men go single. Also, those women can be just as nasty and mysandric as anybody else.

BDSM is about feeling comfortable. You’re trying to recreate an environment that somehow and crucially represents that which you grew up in. If you felt guilty about yourself growing up, you’ll probably want to take a position of being in a dominant position. In the end, it’s about getting back to that normal feeling. This becomes very strong when you’re stressed out.

Therefore, there’s nothing special about BDSM submissives.

You can read a lot of their writings too. They even go about talking about being owned and forced to be slaves, which means they don’t have to survive. They don’t have to do work. Basically, they’re trying to abuse it.

A lot of them will pull off historical tropes to invoke these feelings. You’re not supposed to treat a woman like that, and she’s not supposed to like it, but like it you both do, so you get your feelings back.

Then finally there’s the immature desire to be taken care of. Adults are supposed to push themselves and improve themselves for the absolute fun of it. We’re thinking creatures and must think. We are to figure out what we can before we die. Well, slaves don’t do that. That’s a cop-out.

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