Welcome Back…Girlfriends and Marriage.

[Silpheed1975Participant 355]

I think my woman knows that there won’t be a wedding in her future, a simple agreement is enough. If she doesn’t get that, then she will find out once she realizes that she has become single.

Silpheed's Mom Quote: "Having PMS is no excuse to be a bitch.."

[Canadian SportsFanParticipant 216]

Silpheed1975 wrote:

I think my woman knows that there won’t be a wedding in her future, a simple agreement is enough. If she doesn’t get that, then she will find out once she realizes that she has become single.

In Canada, it doesn’t matter. Fact is if you’re going to live with a woman, either commonlaw or married, you should have a signed agreement.

I’ve already told her I think weddings are a stupid frivoulous waste of money and time to appease social conventions and I’m not doing it.

Anyway, if you read my intro the whole backstory is there.

[Canadian SportsFanParticipant 216]

Conversation resumed and she was more rational this time. For those who don’t know we’re currently living together (not sure if commonlaw yet, internet says not until 3 years, other people say 6 months). In any event leaving the relationship would involve some sort of separation agreement & probably selling the house.

I said she needs to start thinking about her career because if we’re staying together, there is no way I’m letting her become a “stay at home mom”. I told her she’s not using kids as a plan B alternative to work. She said I was very career driven and she is not. I said if you want kids and want to be able to afford them you BOTH have to be career driven.

Finances were discussed, as well as splitting the bills evenly. She didn’t put up a fight and said she would sign an agreement. She verbally agreed fair is fair and the assets I had pre-relationship should be mine. I suggested we sit down with a financial advisor.

Marriage was discussed. I said I wasn’t ever going to waste money on a wedding, and the only way I’d consider a marriage contract if there was with a prenup that was reviewed by both our lawyers.

Attitude and lack of follow through on promises was discussed, I told her I’m done with the s~~~-testing snarky comments and I would not fall into that berating relationship you see with wives, because that’s how it starts. She said she was being sarcastic when she was saying some of these things, which I immediately shot down, your tone, body language and everything in the moment suggested you meant it.

She was wise to the fact that the relationship was strained, she felt like I was sending the message it was almost over and that was upsetting her. She had some valid ponts, we do spend less time together now, so I agreed we could do more spontanious things together.

I’d say it went about as well as it could have gone. My next step is to go and see a lawyer and get a commonlaw agreement drafted, even in the event we split at least there’s that. If she won’t sign it, we’re done. We may still be done if I see no changes to the things we discussed for long term.

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