WA4SWJ Introduction

[WA4SWJParticipant 366]

Hi Gentlemen,

I’ve posted off and on for about 5 months since finding MGTOW. I don’t remember what directed me here, but it was some comment on a BS relationship commentary about the “dark” things on the forums here. It was something about men disconnecting from women and marriage and some women bitching about it. So I had to check it out and started reading and watching videos and so on and yelling “Hell Yeah!!” and occasional expletives about the dirty tricks females like to play that have been played on a lot of the guys here. I’m very glad to have found this group of guys that I can identify with. Then I saw a comment on one of the threads that said “If you want to be taken seriously here, write an introduction.” Well, that sort of embarrassed me because I’ve been posting off and on for a few months and I always thought that posting an intro is a bit of an egotistical thing, you know – talking about me. But, I also thought “You know what? That’s a good comment since there are some female lurkers here and an intro would help make sure that you are who you say you are. Plus, the brothers can get to know a bit about you.” So here is an intro from me and I hope I haven’t fractured the MGTOW culture too badly by not posting this before now. I’m 66 as I write this, soon to be 67 in July, so this is a bit of a long tale, but I’ll keep it as short as I can. I hope it will help someone in some way.

My story starts out in college. I was in engineering school obtaining my BSEE. When my high school sweetie and I broke up in my college freshman year because I was away from home at school, I met, during my sophomore year, a “little red haired girl” (literally) that I absolutely fell crushingly in love with. I mean big time, crashed to the ground, helpless. I dated Brenda for three years during college until she broke up with me during my fourth year to go with a guy in her physical therapy class. She married him and is still with him. I was just dead inside for years over that event. During my fifth year in college (I worked part time and took a lot more classes than I needed to graduate because I had multiple interests) I met a gal through one of my fraternity brothers that would become my first wife, Dana. (Yes, there have been more than one. More on that later.)

Dana was sort of strange from the beginning being colder than I had experienced with Brenda, but I decided to marry her anyway after only knowing her for 9 months – this short time before marriage was a big mistake. And although I was still crashed inside from Brenda, which took nearly 10 years to fully recover from, I did develop love for Dana, but over time she managed to kill it. I stayed married to Dana for 22 years. Immediately after we were married our sex life went from nearly constant to nearly non-existent. It was like someone flipped a switch off once we got home from the wedding and sex just pretty much vanished. Once a month if I was lucky – twice if I was real lucky – most times once every 2 months. I recall only 5 times over our 22-year marriage when she initiated sex and that was usually because I had been ignoring her for a while pursuing my hobbies. For some ungodly reason being ignored switches something on inside women. We’ll never know why. Note for you younger guys reading this – if you think getting married will gain you more sex, as many others on this forum have said, you’re delusional. It will not happen. Maybe at first you’ll get some, but the frequency of sex will inevitably decline and the decline will be a lot faster than your boners decline in frequency. Sex is NOT a reason to get married!

Anyway, I put up with the lack of sex/closeness because I thought you were supposed to stay married once you got married. I asked her why she didn’t want sex. Her nonchalant response: “Oh, we did all that before we were married.” I was floored because I thought you got more sex once you were married. I later asked her why she had married me because it was obvious that she wanted little to do with me. She replied “Because I thought you would make a lot of money.” Not because she loved me – it was all money. Over time the relationship just got worse and worse and I, and I hate to admit this, started cheating on her. I just couldn’t stand that dreaded Hawaiian disease – Lacka Nookie. Over the years we moved around due to my career, our income grew and we kept buying bigger houses and more things that she wanted like fur coats, china, silverware, upscale cars, etc. I also went to business school and got my MBA. My income went up further as I moved into management and I found other women to fool around with as we moved around the country. I was always discrete, but I admit it was a wrong thing to do on my part. I should have just divorced her early on. That would have been a much better result because I was terribly unhappy almost from the beginning and developed a very bad attitude toward women during 22 years of marriage. Finally, after many years of her mental abuse (and that is what it is) from withholding sex, I moved to one of the other bedrooms in the house and just disconnected from my wife and went my own way. After a few months of that I got a call at my office from a lawyer she had hired to file for divorce. Well, that started the process to divorce and her attempt to divorce rape me. She apparently thought she was going to get a lot of money from me even thinking that I had hidden money in foreign accounts – I did not.

Depending on how you look at it fortunately (or unfortunately) she had aborted 3 of our children over the years so we had no children – so no child support for her. (My feeling about the abortions still is that I hope God will forgive me. She was a ‘my body, my decision’ type and I had little choice.) She refused to use birth control and yet did not want children, so 3 times she became pregnant and had 3 abortions over several years. During divorce discussions she wanted a huge amount of alimony ($5000/month) and most of the household possessions as well as her car (a BMW), the house and so on. It took 2 years to finally negotiate the property settlement – a completely ridiculous amount of time because she wanted it all and under state law she would not get it all. Still she kept demanding it. I had a very good lawyer and he just kept hammering her and her lawyer. She changed lawyers 3 times.

Anyway, I finally bought her half of the house. We had a large house and she could not afford to live there on her own and pay the mortgage. We agreed to a property division and I agreed to pay her $2000/month alimony for 3 years even though she had a decent job and was working. When it came time for her to move out (and I had a little spy that was filling me in on her plans) I went to work as normal that morning and then went back home at 10 AM. When I got home she had moving men there and they were taking everything out of the house including things that were mine according to our property settlement. She was intending to clear out the entire house. She was shocked to see me arrive because I ruined her plans. I told the moving men to get everything off of the truck and after the men grumbled a while and I told them I would have them arrested for stealing my possessions, we sorted it all out and she took her belongings and I took mine back into the house. Had I not gone home at the critical time the house would have been empty when I got home from work in the evening. And forget about getting the possessions back after they’re gone. She finally left and I changed the locks on the house. Finally, I was rid of her and was relieved. I did catch her sitting in her car a few times watching the house, which worried me a bit but nothing came of it. It took nearly 5 years to finally get the divorce done and over with and three more years of alimony to pay off. She also got half of my pensions from two companies that I had worked for. That’s called a QDRO – Qualified Domestic Relations Order where they take your pension payments. Pay attention young guys!

I have to say that I was not blue pill during the time I was married to #1. I didn’t take crap from her and she knew that bitching at me was fruitless. Nonetheless, I did try to treat her well and buy her things that she wanted thinking that I might get something in return (affection and sex) but it didn’t happen. I was fortunate that my income could support all that. She did contribute some because she was working too so I have to give her that. I finally stopped buying luxuries for her and that lead ultimately to a further decline in the marriage. She was definitely uber materialistic. The last time I saw her (accidentally bumped into her at a festival in town) she was becoming the proverbial land whale. She ran away from me when she saw me. BTW – whenever I tried to talk to her about unhappy things she ran into the bathroom and locked herself in and stayed for hours. I was finally happily divorced.

Then a few years later along comes a gal that would become wife #2. Her name was Vicki. We met though a gal at work and hit it off pretty quickly. She was divorced and we dated for 5 years until I decided to get married to her. She had 4 kids, two of which were still at home. The youngest son was a real SOB and was difficult to deal with. Other than dealing with the kid, we had happy life and a great sex life (thank God) and I began to love her nearly as much as the red haired girl in college. We got along very well – or so I thought. We had a nice house in Georgia and were (I thought) happy. The job I had in Georgia was not to my liking unfortunately and I despised my boss, so I started looking for another job and found one in Austin, Texas as the General Manager of a semiconductor robotics equipment company. She was all for moving to Texas and was anxious to move out west. I discussed it with her at length and she was very enthusiastic. So I took the job after our mutual decision, took a few possessions and clothes and got an apartment in Austin and started the new job. She was to begin the process of moving to Texas as soon as her youngest son was out of school at the end of the year. Well, 4 months later she called me and told me she wanted a divorce. Wow! That marriage lasted 2 years. It turns out she was cheating on me. Payback for what I had done during my first marriage I guess, however, Vicki did tell me she had cheated on her first husband during their marriage and I should have listened to that. So, I wound up losing some possessions and she kept the house and the money I had put into it, but financially it was not too bad an impact. She took over the mortgage. I packed my belongings up, moved out and moved on to Texas. No alimony since she had some money from a business that she and her first husband had, so although the whole thing cost me some money, I didn’t wind up losing too much. I was fortunate. But again, I was divorced. She remarried quickly right after we were divorced so there is little doubt she had found a Chad. I dated some while I was in Austin but nothing that resulted in a long term relationship.

I was in Austin for a while but then was recruited for a job in Phoenix. So I moved there. I love Arizona. I bought a house and I was happy again. I dated a lot and found a few gals that were just OK, but most all of them were just not worth dating so I was single for several years. Then I met a British gal, Josephine, that was living in Mexico who became #3. Long story but we wound up getting married and she moved to Arizona from Mexico and became a US citizen. I had to bring her into the country through the legal immigration process. Sadly, it was a loveless marriage, but I did respect her and she worked very hard getting a college education and a job in the teaching field. And as I mentioned, she did become a US citizen. She brought her son with her and he served in the US Navy and became a citizen too. But we wound up divorcing after several years and went our separate ways. I was actually happy about that divorce because there was no feeling there so why be tied down? It was a mistake from the beginning. But again, it didn’t cost that much and I’m single and happy again. My company ultimately moved me to Wisconsin, then upstate New York and then to Florida where I am now to take over as Director of Engineering here.

Sorry that this turned out to be kind of long. I have had 3 marriages and that is 3 too many. I don’t think I was blue pill during my life. I have never taken crap from women or followed them around like a puppy dog and I do not allow them to lead me around by the nose. I’ve always done what I wanted with no “permission” asked. YUK! Manginas make me thoroughly sick and always have. Women do not rule my life and now I have no desire to get involved again and for sure I will not get married again. I’m nice to women but that is as far as it goes. I’ll never know why it took me 3 times to learn not to get married. It did take me too long to get out of the marriage rut. I think it’s because I’m a little more compassionate than I should be. Fortunately, I did not have children and the tremendous cost of kids was not a problem for me, although I did miss out on the child rearing experience. I was fortunate in many ways with these relationships and how I exited them so I was lucky and I know I was. For example, my next door neighbor has to pay alimony to his ex FOR LIFE!!! Imagine that.

Anyway, I didn’t have to live in my car or in a tent or struggle to pay bills or go to jail like some of you brave men have. I respect you for that more than you know. I have been blessed by God with so many things including my jobs and my attitude. I do not have depression; I don’t pine for the things I have lost – they are just things. I do have a few chunks of my heart missing but I consider myself to be very lucky, blessed and I’m a happy guy overall. I also am feeling lucky to have found MGTOW and hope to contribute over time. As I mentioned in the beginning, I am older now and have had many experiences and I hope I can share. God bless all you men and I salute you and encourage your unc~~~ing process – especially you younger guys. It cannot be said enough; Younger guys: It is critical that you listen to the sage advice offered on these forums. What you think you might want is not worth it. Learn and have peace.

Ed

[Anonymous 25]

Welcome.

You know if women are bitching about something then it’s a threat to their little scam. Thanks for the story, I’m sure it will help save a lot of the younger guys.

[Jan SobieskiParticipant 28791]

Welcome home brother.

Love is just alimony waiting to happen. Visit mgtow.com.

[Solo MAN’S WisdomParticipant]

Pleasure to have you aboard. SW.

When women lead, destruction is the destination. -- Me.

[53ClicksUpParticipant 1345]

CQ…CQ…CQ.
Ed, thanks so much for sharing your life experiences with us. I also have a tale very similar to your own. But I don’t feel like expending the energy to compose it tonight. It is important for the younger men on this forum to understand that you represent the majority of what men will experience and endure should they opt to get married.

There is no such thing as “Happily ever After” or “True Everlasting Love”. It’s all a load of total horse s~~~ that we’ve been fed all our lives. Back when women used to women and men used to be men, it might have worked, but I have to tell you that in today’s feminist times I do not know any happily married men.

There is no reason for you younger guys to all charge out of the same landing craft we did onto the nakedly exposed beach head of the family court system. Only to be mowed down like so much summer wheat by Femi-Nazis wielding MG-42 machine guns. Read this, learn this, live this…..MARRIAGE IS A LOSING PROPOSITION FOR MEN !!!!!!… END OF TRANSMISSION, CL.

[Mr. ManParticipant 2916]

That was a fantastic introduction! Thank you for taking the time to write it all out so lucidly.

To see the fullness of a man’s life be laid out like that for the young guys to read is a valuable thing indeed.

Welcome!

P.S. Sadly, I’m in the 3X club as well.

[HitmanParticipant]

welcome .
i’ve seen your avatar,
nice to know you better my friend.
glad you gave us the scoop.
cheers !!!

[SilverOneParticipant 440]

Hi there, and welcome to da house. I am 61, and 4 times out of the chute with several LTR’s to boot. Out of much trying, it never ends well. I am a ham also. My second wife actually told me my hobby was tantamount to cheating, because all the time I spent with it “cheated” her of my attention. She eventually told me she wanted a “celibate marriage”. I stuck around for 5 more years, and wound up cheating, and hating myself for it. I got paid back in my 3rd marriage….. she cheated on me on our wedding night (I didn’t find out about that till years after our divorce) and just kept on. Like you, I never really swallowed the blue pill, though I had it put in my mouth often enough. I finally gave up after ending a relationship with a very selfish woman who also had BPD. Look up “psycho-bitch” in the dictionary and you’ll find a picture of her. After that, I decided my dog was all the company I needed.

I don’t believe in female magic anymore. And will never again gut myself to make room for it. --Narwhal--

[Anonymous 5]

A warm belated welcome, and thanks for the great read.
Only 3 times?,,you should go for No.4 and you’ll be on Grand MGTOW Master level like Tom Leykis. For some of us, it’s the only way to learn.
I’ve decided to stay down here on level 1 but don’t get me wrong, I think men who go for higher levels are really brave!

[Back in BlackParticipant 1732]

Great story – thanks for posting. I’ve ridden the train to hell three times as well. Slow learner. And I would fully agree on the sex drying up in a marriage.

You mentioned you may be too compassionate. I respectfully disagree. You can keep your compassion but now you know the true nature of women and you dont have to marry any more of them! Welcome.

"Women are directly adapted to act as the nurses and educators of our early childhood, for the simple reason that they themselves are childish, foolish, and short-sighted—in a word, are big children all their lives, something intermediate between the child and the man, who is a man in the strict sense of the word. Consider how a young girl will toy day after day with a child, dance with it and sing to it; and then consider what a man, with the very best intentions in the world, could do in her place.” Quote from Arthur Shopenhauer, 17th century philosopher

[Sparticus66Participant 508]

Fantastic introduction. The abortion thing is an issue people have different views on but your story is so typical of feminists. All I hear from them is ‘no woman has an abortion without thinking long and hard about it’. It’s obvious most treat it as a form of contraception. They give it as much thought as taking a crap. All the different forms of contraception and they don’t use it. Lazy.
Sometimes at work if a guy says he’s getting married I tell him it’s the end of his sex life. They usually give a little nervous laugh. It’s obvious they have thought ‘sex on tap’ without realising marriage will cut the supply off for most days and nights.
Thanks again for your intro.

[Anonymous 13]

Welcome.

I’m sorry you had to endure three failed marriages but you seem really well balanced about it all and have not come off too badly. Many have come off far, far worse from just one bad marriage or even a bad relationship.

Even though you weren’t blue pill in these marriages and didn’t beg or take s~~~ from them, you still ultimately never got the respect or a marriage that worked.

I was the same, I was never a push over and I never took any crap. I did everything to make the marriage interesting and fun but nothing was ever enough.

What does this prove? Blue pill, or red pill, nice guy or bad guy, stable loving family man or exciting chad…marriage does not work! It’s ALWAYS only a matter of time, 3 months or 30 years, take your pick. And a heaping load of misery before it fails too.

MARRIAGE DOES NOT WORK.

[bladeParticipant]

Welcome bro . Yep i got a few kids that were murderd by c~~~s that are in heaven waiting for me . Hope god gives em body form , feal a bit wierd trying to cuddle a half sprouted egg . F~~~ing woman and abortions f~~~ me off . Its murder

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[MutineerParticipant 1467]

Hey man, thanks for your introduction. I can recall some of your previous posts. Don’t be a stranger.

"The secret to happiness is freedom... And the secret to freedom is courage." - Thucydides

[Anonymous 0]

Welcome home, SWJ
Beer’s in the fridge
I have always read your posts because they always seemed to be well balanced, articulate, honest. I feel now that I know you better than I know some of my neighbours. Your desire help the younger guys is also appreciated. I look forward to more, brother.

[SamsquanchParticipant 4226]

Thank you for posting your introduction. Stories like yours, and similar ones from the brothers’ here have cemented my belief that marriage is not for me.

[Bozo BusParticipant 27]

Great read! I am also a three timer and have survived the War. I have gained knowledge through all the pain. I used to think my experience was rare, but because of you men I see it is quite commonplace. You only stop growing when you decide to. Glad to see the lack of hate that many men feel. Forgiveness is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself because the forgiven have no power over you then!

[MGTOW KnightParticipant 7477]

You are welcome here bromigo.

Fuck bitches... literally and metaphorically

[WA4SWJParticipant 366]

Hi Guys,

Thanks for the very kind comments! I’m really glad to have found this site.

An interesting thing happened just today – I was laid off from my company of 14 years. They are in real trouble and they are removing people, especially senior, high income people. I’m OK financially and mentally about it and frankly was expecting it to happen. I had been moving my belongings out of the office for a couple of weeks. I’m OK and now that I’m retired I’ll find a new happiness. We’ll see what’s next!

Peace brothers!

Ed

[Anonymous 0]

You now have the opportunity to re-make yourself into anything you want. Dr. M52 Rx: buy yourself a bike and hit the road!

[Author]

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