Too old to learn?

[Just JimParticipant 35]

Hi guys. I will turn 60 next week. I’m twice divorced, my last wife walking out on Thanksgiving Day of 2013 to take up with a guy she had been banging on the side for over 4 years. During the divorce, I met a 45 year old woman at a party who had the same divorce lawyer as me. We started texting and talking on the phone. One day at work she just came out and said she wanted to go to bed with me, so I invited her over. We had an amazing night. She immediately started saying “I’m in trouble” over and over. When I asked what that meant, she replied that she could get emotionally attached to me very easily. We continued to have sex almost every day for months. She was very adventurous, and we had a great time going on trips.

A few months into it, I gave her a key to my house. I own my home, she rents a somewhat dumpy house about 20 miles away. She has chronic car problems, so I figured that if she stayed at my place, it would save wear and tear on her car. Many, many times I rode my motorcycle in the cold or the rain while she used my (new) truck to run around and do her business. Early on she had brought her two granddaughters (age 4 & 6)into the picture, making me their surrogate grandfather, to the point where they each had their own rooms in my house (something they don’t have at home). Everything seemed great.

A few months ago, she started to s~~~ test me on everything. She wanted me to drop some friends- I did. She wanted many other things which I did (I didn’t know what a s~~~ test was then). Finally, she started to demand that I either give up Facebook (it’s how I stay in touch with extended family), or post her as a Relationship Status. I recognized that as some very controlling behavior, and refused. She brought it up constantly. Then, she started hanging out with this fat bitch who constantly told her how she doesn’t have to put up with my s~~~. She started calling me at all hours after her and fat bitch would hang out and bitch at me on the phone. Finally, she blew things up right after I had to put my beloved dog down, and right before Christmas. She refuses to talk with me about anything.

I really miss those little girls that she brought into my life. I would probably take her back just for them (stupid-I know). But the man in me says “F~~~ her. She brought nothing to the table except health problems, financial problems, f~~~ed up kids (hers, not the little ones), car problems, and great sex. She’s not particularly attractive, but she does have an insanely sexy body.

I’m in a funk because I miss her 2.5 years of companionship and company. I miss the little ones. I miss the almost nonstop sex.

I’ve been lurking on the Relations~~~s Forum to get strength and tips. It’s doing me good. I have gone no contact even though she owes me money (just a couple of hundred) and still has my house key. She has mentioned “talking about things” and “trying to work things out”, but never found the time to do it. She was always “too busy” when the time came.

I’m done. I’m just here to make sure you guys help me STAY done.

Thanks.

[Anonymous 25]

Welcome.

She sounds like a psycho and you’re better off without her and her fat entitlement friend.

I’d call “next” and go get laid. Women and pussy is not scarce and there are 5 more behind her waiting to take her place.

The best way to get over a woman is to get under another. Just be careful and don’t get her pregnant and don’t get attached. As long as you both agree it’s a no strings one night deal, it’s no big deal.

Then realise AWALT, all women are like that. Forget looking for the unicorn, they just don’t exist.

[bladeParticipant]

Welcome to the brother hood . Hope you enjoy the ride

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[Psl47Participant 678]

Change your door lock

.

[Anonymous 42]

Forget the 200 bucks, change the locks, and to legally protect yourself from her unbridled womany wrath take out a restraining order against her and banish her to the eternal pit of darkness!

Otherwise it’s your ass and you’ve been warned.

[Anonymous 0]

Just Jim wrote:

… She immediately started saying “I’m in trouble” over and over. When I asked what that meant, she replied that she could get emotionally attached to me very easily. …

Yeah, with some of these women you have to set some boundaries early along. Put your foot down and set some limits.

Some of these gals are so needy, they’ll take over your life. They’re like water. They’ll flow in and fill up every crack and crevice in your life. At first it feels good to be helping them out, but eventually you’re drowning in their neediness. They’ve taken over your life.

In the future, you need to set down by yourself, figure out what you want from the relationship, and then spell it out for them: “I’m offering you exactly this much and no more.” And even then, expect them to keep chipping away at you, trying to get you to give a little on your boundaries. But defend those boundaries. Tell them: This much, and no more.

Welcome aboard!

[Just JimParticipant 35]

I’ve dropped all her stuff off a week ago. She had a bunch of stuff there that she gradually relocated to my place, including some jewelry that we kept secured in my gun safe. When I dropped it off, she declared that she “still loves” me but “needs some time” to sort things out. I made a couple of attempts to keep contact which she dismissed. That’s when I said “no more” and broke contact.

She always said that she would never allow me to be with anyone else if we split up. “I will beat any woman’s ass I ever catch you with. There better never be another woman in this house” was her mantra.

She’s bats~~~ crazy.

Changing the locks today.

[Solo MAN’S WisdomParticipant]

Welcome, Just Jim. The only valuable advice she gave you was “get off F~~book”. Otherwise, she needs to go.

Let me explain a design law. This is one of the laws that the universe runs in harmony with.

The Law of Liberty.

1. In any human relationship, when Liberty is violated, love will die. This includes any manipulative conversation or behavior. It is testable with predictable results.

1A. A desire for rebellion grows. You’re in this phase right now. You are tired of having your Liberty constrained with her s~~~ tests.
1B. If rebellion does not occur, then the person whose Liberty is being violated becomes a mere reflection of the violator. This is how men stay in relationships that are violent/coercive/sexless.

When women lead, destruction is the destination. -- Me.

[AwakenedParticipant 35226]

Just Jim wrote:

I’m done. I’m just here to make sure you guys help me STAY done.

Only you and heavy duty dose of red pills can keep you away from her. The forum can provide support, but you must apply it in your world. She may be seeking/craving drama, and using all of this for her own fulfillment. She will probably want to get back with you during the holidays. Be Careful !!

Just Jim wrote:

She’s bats~~~ crazy.

Most (99%) are bat s~~~ crazy !! Their CRAZY comes out sooner or later. Remember this when/if she offers you some “No Strings Attached Sex”.

In a World of Justin Beibers Be a Johnny Cash

[Sparticus66Participant 508]

Welcome.
You may not see it now but you realky got off lightly.
Supposing she tried to claim a share of your house as a result of her short ‘investment’ into the day to day running of it?
Supposing she alleged you physically or sexually assaulted the children? Supposing fat bitch supported her claims?
The woman is bad news. Remember, when it comes to women, no good deed goes unpunished. The greater the good deeds, the greater the punishment from the entitled female recipient

[Jeremiah JohnsonParticipant 2219]

Oh my Jim….Well sir, first off, you found us, and now allow us to help you brother…I am so, so, so, so very sorry you lost your dog…I cannot even imagine having to put either of my babies down, it would literally rip my heart out sir…Moving from there though, PLEASE, for the love of all that is holy, DO NOT take this woman back for any reason what so ever at all ever never ever…There is BIG trouble lurking underneath her shadow….And when I say big, I mean LAW kind of trouble…Before you know it, she will be following the advice of her new landwhale friend, and be trying to take half of everything you own, by claiming you were in some kind live in unofficial marriage, please, if you garner nothing else, never have contact with her ever again….In this day and age sir, men are guilty, doesn’t matter the charge or validity…GUILTY…All this woman has to do is come up with some convoluted story, and call the police, and you are done for….not even kidding around with you sir…SHE IS TROUBLE….Just by reading what you have said, there is ABSOLUTELY no doubt in my mind, her next move, if she cannot have you, is too have everything you own…In her mind it will go like this…HE OWES ME….I know it sounds crazy, but then again when dealing with any woman ever, you must factor in the crazy…And brother believe me, when they sense they have nothing left to lose, THEY SWING FOR THE EFFING FENCES!!!!!!! Keep coming back here, always someone in here that is willing to talk sir…Glad to help in any way I can personally….Welcome sir….Thank you for sharing….I know not seeing the girls again will be painful, and sad for them as well, but in the end sir, it is merely for your own good, to stay away….Just my two pennies though….

Men are at a time when panning for gold in a urinal has a higher probability of success than finding a faithful and loving woman, it is time to go your own way.....

[Truthseeker82Participant 6406]

Welcome. When you enter the domain of a woman there is a virtual doormat laid before your feet that reads “surrender your sovereignty here”. Are you willing to cross that line? Most of us have at some point in our lives. The result is seldom good.
It’s easy to get used to the sex. And it’s commendable that you miss her family too. But as others have said – there is no such thing as a free lunch especially when pussy is on the menu.
Again – welcome to the forums!

[Just JimParticipant 35]

I know I dodged a major bullet. She was supposed to move into my house after the first of the year. She had already given notice to her landlord. We had a (I thought) slight disagreement concerning the details. She wanted to just pay the utilities. I told her that everything had to be split down the middle, including the house payment. She said that it wasn’t fair for her to help pay for “your” house. I replied that she would have rent anywhere she lived, so to look at it like that. She said “You’re not looking for a partner, you’re looking for a room mate”.

I held my ground. I think that’s what probably ended it.

[TaxGuyParticipant]

Welcome Jim:

Good advice above. I will only to it the mantra that will save you endless amounts of drama.

One Chance, Per Person, Per Lifetime.

She blew her chance. Taking her back now is inviting back the drama that you already hate, times 10.

Order the good wine

[Anonymous 0]

Welcome home, Just Jim
Forget the money, change the locks, and go dark on her.
Read. Post. Learn. We are here to help you.

[FeralParticipant 98]

Very well done!
I am sorry that you are suffering about missing companionship/company.
Keep coming here often to stay on the wise way!

As you are 60ish, it must be much tougher to look at the future knowing that you might not have close companionship (close woman, lovely kids).
I mean: one day your strength, attractiveness and independence might begin to abandon you: how are coming to terms with that?

[Buller100Participant 2189]

Just Jim wrote:

I know I dodged a major bullet. She was supposed to move into my house after the first of the year. She had already given notice to her landlord. We had a (I thought) slight disagreement concerning the details. She wanted to just pay the utilities. I told her that everything had to be split down the middle, including the house payment. She said that it wasn’t fair for her to help pay for “your” house. I replied that she would have rent anywhere she lived, so to look at it like that. She said “You’re not looking for a partner, you’re looking for a room mate”.

I held my ground. I think that’s what probably ended it.

Typical women looking for a cheap billet, you are right it probably did end it she wanted it all her own way.

Its normal to feel lonely when you have been with someone for a while, but no one should be with the wrong person there is nothing more lonely than that.

[ILiveAgainParticipant]

You do know this was all planned right?

I’m mean down to the last detail.

She used all the trick in the book.

Sex, your compassion, children, coercion, control, threats etc etc etc.

See this for what it was and use it in the future.

Let them play the sex card but stop all after that.

[Just JimParticipant 35]

It’s tough. I thought I had it with this one…for a while. I just wasted 2.5 years of extremely valuable time.

[Just JimParticipant 35]

Oops. Screwed up the quote feature above.

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