Thoughts about one's funeral

[HermitParticipant]

Autolite wrote:

joetech wrote:

Well, I decided when I die I want to be buried at sea, too.

They have a process now where they dissolve a body with non-toxic chemicals and they can legally poor you down the drain. You will eventually go out to sea without f~~~ing up anybody’s weekend.

Does this work for you???

Autolite wrote:

Gerald wrote:

The funeral is for the living, not the deceased and is a horrible expression of general BS.

It’s overpriced bulls~~~ and (like weddings) it has now gone way overboard. I’m not sure why most people still haven’t figured this out…

When I was younger and dumber I wanted as many people as possible blubbering over my corpse. Now that I’m older and wiser, I don’t give a s~~~ if they toss me in a dumpster and the garbage truck takes me away.

It is stupid to spend thousands of dollars on a dead body. Give me that money now when I’m alive and I’ll put it to better use………like beer and gin and steaks and cheeseburgers at my local hangout.

Some coffins are pretty cool looking though. If I had room in my house, I might buy one as a piece of decorative furniture. This one doesn’t look bad for a little over a thousand dollars. Cheap for a dead box, isn’t it?

The evil in women’s hearts leaves them no moral bounds as to inhibit them from descending to the lowest levels of darkness to acquire their self entitled desires.

[Colin Combover in a ComaParticipant 5066]

As I can longer have my wish of dying on the plains of Svenska, I do dearly desire to depart on a canal path, preferably in the Winter, so no two legged specimens are around to be a have a go hero. Yeah, trip over a piece of fowl s~~~, fall into the canal and get eaten by the Geese and Ducks. Excrete me out and become a fossilised Goose turd.

What is the alternative….work for the next 25years in a dead end job working with planks of wood, finally retire past my prime, get put in a nursing home sucking through a straw, then get buried, with a pedo priest reciting some nonsense even he don’t believe.

[HermitParticipant]

Colin Combover in a Coma wrote:

As I can longer have my wish of dying on the plains of Svenska, I do dearly desire to depart on a canal path, preferably in the Winter, so no two legged specimens are around to be a have a go hero. Yeah, trip over a piece of fowl s~~~, fall into the canal and get eaten by the Geese and Ducks. Excrete me out and become a fossilised Goose turd.

What is the alternative….work for the next 25years in a dead end job working with planks of wood, finally retire past my prime, get put in a nursing home sucking through a straw, then get buried, with a pedo priest reciting some nonsense even he don’t believe.

That’s the spirit, Colin, old sock. You write children’s books, don’t you.

The evil in women’s hearts leaves them no moral bounds as to inhibit them from descending to the lowest levels of darkness to acquire their self entitled desires.

[CarnageParticipant 22113]

Knarley Bob wrote:

I doubt I’ll care, I’m dead…..

Right?

I mean, I’m f~~~ing dead for f~~~ sake, let me the f~~~ sleep.

F~~~.

To those following me, be careful, I just farted. Men those beans are killers.

[DarkRyuParticipant 2354]

Chop me up and feed me to the lions at the zoo or something. I couldn’t care less. But my body should at least be used for something, not just buried in a hole or burned to ashes.

As for a funeral, I don’t have anyone to go to my funeral. The only one in the whole world that gives two s~~~s about me is my mother, and she’ll most likely die before I do.

[CarnageParticipant 22113]

DarkRyu wrote:

Chop me up and feed me to the lions at the zoo or something. I couldn’t care less. But my body should at least be used for something, not just buried in a hole or burned to ashes.

As for a funeral, I don’t have anyone to go to my funeral. The only one in the whole world that gives two s~~~s about me is my mother, and she’ll most likely die before I do.

Necró gay porn is ok too?

That is a bit too much ain’t it?

To those following me, be careful, I just farted. Men those beans are killers.

[MaverickParticipant 811]

Hermit wrote:

Some coffins are pretty cool looking though. If I had room in my house, I might buy one as a piece of decorative furniture.

LOL….imagine a hearse delivering it to your home. I bet the neighbors would be amused!

[Blood AxeParticipant 1179]

I’ve thought it would be cool to be buried out in the country side somewhere, like where I grew up, and plant an oak or some other kind of long lived tree over my corpse. NFG about my funeral though.

Back in the old settler days, the asparagus plant was used to mark a grave. It makes sense, it is a perennial and is easily recognized.

Back off Barbie!

[HermitParticipant]

Maverick wrote:

Hermit wrote:

Some coffins are pretty cool looking though. If I had room in my house, I might buy one as a piece of decorative furniture.

LOL….imagine a hearse delivering it to your home. I bet the neighbors would be amused!

I’ve always wanted to own a hearse and drive it around. Lots of room in the back for groceries and lumber and stuff.

I found a coffin on a site called “Best Price Caskets” for around $850.00. That’s not too bad at all. I’m seriously considering buying one. It’d be pretty cool for Halloween. ………and, if I ever became a vampire, it’d come in real handy.

The evil in women’s hearts leaves them no moral bounds as to inhibit them from descending to the lowest levels of darkness to acquire their self entitled desires.

[HermitParticipant]

Blood Axe wrote:

I’ve thought it would be cool to be buried out in the country side somewhere, like where I grew up, and plant an oak or some other kind of long lived tree over my corpse. NFG about my funeral though.

Back in the old settler days, the asparagus plant was used to mark a grave. It makes sense, it is a perennial and is easily recognized.

Oh man, so some of that “wild asparagus” that some have eaten was fertilized with dead people. That’s funny.

The evil in women’s hearts leaves them no moral bounds as to inhibit them from descending to the lowest levels of darkness to acquire their self entitled desires.

[CarnageParticipant 22113]

Blood Axe wrote:

I’ve thought it would be cool to be buried out in the country side somewhere, like where I grew up, and plant an oak or some other kind of long lived tree over my corpse. NFG about my funeral though.

Back in the old settler days, the asparagus plant was used to mark a grave. It makes sense, it is a perennial and is easily recognized.

And tasty.

To those following me, be careful, I just farted. Men those beans are killers.

[Colin Combover in a ComaParticipant 5066]

Hermit wrote:

Colin Combover in a Coma wrote:

As I can longer have my wish of dying on the plains of Svenska, I do dearly desire to depart on a canal path, preferably in the Winter, so no two legged specimens are around to be a have a go hero. Yeah, trip over a piece of fowl s~~~, fall into the canal and get eaten by the Geese and Ducks. Excrete me out and become a fossilised Goose turd.

What is the alternative….work for the next 25years in a dead end job working with planks of wood, finally retire past my prime, get put in a nursing home sucking through a straw, then get buried, with a pedo priest reciting some nonsense even he don’t believe.

That’s the spirit, Colin, old sock. You write children’s books, don’t you.

Used to. Now write for those who have a bone density of a sparrow.

[SpiderHerderParticipant 3758]

Cool stories, guys.

I’m with most of you: I’d rather die in the woods never to be found by anyone, decompose properly and give my atoms back to the universe to become something else.

[NerdTunnelerParticipant]

This story of Diogenes regarding death…

When asked how he wished to be buried, he left instructions to be thrown outside the city wall so wild animals could feast on his body. When asked if he minded this, he said, “Not at all, as long as you provide me with a stick to chase the creatures away!” When asked how he could use the stick since he would lack awareness, he replied “If I lack awareness, then why should I care what happens to me when I am dead?”[38] At the end, Diogenes made fun of people’s excessive concern with the “proper” treatment of the dead. The Corinthians erected to his memory a pillar on which rested a dog of Parian marble.[39]

I stand with feet apart and let my balls hang free...Manginas dont have balls...See how they stand and sit at the whim of their masters...

[Author]

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