This is clearly a test right?

[porky ryanParticipant 18]

I wouldn’t call myself a mghow per se but having some of the recent experiences in my young life that i’ve had it’s hard not to subscribe to the philosophy of it.  I have 2 children with two different women and i’m committed to the one i most recently had a child with so although i try to live by a certain set of my own standards i’m still on the hook.  my current girlfriend is a good mother and a thoughtful person but since before she had the baby until now the physical part of our relationship is pretty much non existent.  i know it takes a woman time but i’m losing patience.  i’m the kind of person that wants it everyday and she has no interest 99% of the time.  i’m in good shape, i try to do thoughtful things, i’m the only one who works to support the household, i help with the house chores and take care of the kids.  anytime i try to point out the things that positive, attractive attributes that i display she just gets p~~~ed at me for pointing it out.  i tell her that if we were intimate more often if would rebuild our positive feelings and affections for one another.  she says that we aren’t intimate more often because we don’t have enough of those things to begin with.  finally she broke and told me she had a “change of heart.”  she said that if it helped us get along better, she wouldn’t mind if i sought out another sexual partner until she can regain her libido.  this is like a total bluff right. is she just telling me this to see if i would so that she can hold it over my head or worse. what are your opinions

[ExsliventxsParticipant 1067]

Possible scenarios.

X) You haven’t waited long enough since she’s had the baby. How long as it been? 6 months? 2 months?

A) She’s telling you it’d be okay if you f~~~ed someone else because she is already.

B) She’s telling you it’d be okay if you f~~~ed someone else because she is already.

C) She’s telling you she wants you to spend all your energies on HER things, and then take your sex elsewhere so she can feel guilt free while looking for another man to replace you with.

D) Have you ASKED why she isn’t having sex with you?

E) If she’s not giving up sex, and you really want it. Leave. Pay Child support. Find other women.

Disclaimer: Women won’t want to have sex after just having a baby, I’m not sure about before. Also, when was the last time you had sex? How many months old is the child? Have you asked her why she doesn’t want to have sex?

[ExsliventxsParticipant 1067]

porky ryan wrote:

she says that we aren’t intimate more often because we don’t have enough of those things to begin with.

This does not count as an answer as to why she’s not having sex with you. You must elaborate on this, this … honestly.. tells everyone nothing.

[porky ryanParticipant 18]

Exsliventxs wrote:

Possible scenarios. X) You haven’t waited long enough since she’s had the baby. How long as it been? 6 months? 2 months?

I think this is the most likely of all scenarios mentioned.  I realize that the change in a womans body lowers her interest in sex and especially because she is exclusively breastfeeding i think it perpetuates it.  the baby is 5 months old so i feel that it hasn’t been enough time for her to totally regain her desire but i also feel enough time has passed that more should be going on than does.

Exsliventxs wrote:

porky ryan wrote: she says that we aren’t intimate more often because we don’t have enough of those things to begin with. This does not count as an answer as to why she’s not having sex with you. You must elaborate on this, this … honestly.. tells everyone nothing.

well she thinks we spend more energy being divisive, arguing and not getting along than doing things that would bring us closer and create a feeling of intimacy and arousal in her.  i try to do the things i think would help but it ultimately results in a fruitless labor which makes me less apt to try more.  i don’t think she is with anyone else now but i believe if i did find another woman to have sex with she would use it to justify any of her future course of actions away from or against me.  so this is a total bulls~~~ test right?

 

[ExsliventxsParticipant 1067]

Definitely don’t take the bait.

Women who push you into other women’s arms when you’re the FATHER of the child?

Are you f~~~ing serious? RED FLAG! RED FLAG! RED FLAG!

All you have to do is spend half a second thinking that one through. Obviously a trap.

Explain to her that you understand if she isn’t feeling sexual so soon after the child has been born, ask her for a BJ out of consideration to help hold you over until she’s feeling intimate again.

If she says no, then don’t argue over it. Just nod and then start focusing on you, because she clearly doesn’t give two s~~~s about you.

By focusing on you I mean, start plotting your escape and follow through.

Then leave asap and keep paying that child support.

TRICKS THEY WILL PLAY

When women learn they’re about to lose their comfy surroundings they begin to barter and beg. This is a LAST ditch effort to CONTROL YOU. If you buy into any of her s~~~ at this point, you’re no better than a stupid bitch who gets beaten and keeps running back to her physically violent partner. In this case it’s emotional neglect.

She will say anything and everything but just remember, when you asked her about the BJ out of consideration because she’s not into sex she said no, so clearly she’s not concerned with your well being. Be a brain here, don’t ask her for a BJ when she’s doing something, ask her when you’re both in bed at night.

If she doesn’t seem bothered by ANY of this, then it’s a double sign you need to leave. From this point on, do not be alone with her as she can make up charges against you that will hold in court, even if it is only your word vs hers. I suspect she won’t, as she’ll want child support.

[ILiveAgainParticipant]

Do your own thing. Make plans. Trust no one. Crack one out …….. even in front of her. Most important ……. love your kid like its your last day.

[DeepInThoughtParticipant 2710]

Sorry to read this Porky Ryan, this is a really s~~~ situation and as mentioned above it is massive red flag territory and, yes, it is a massive s~~~ test.

[SMADParticipant 651]

This is, most definitely, a massive trap.  So massive, the RED FLAGS are wavering frantically in the air around it.  There are also sirens, alarm bells and to top it off, an entire community of men shouting “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”

Exsliventxs wrote:

Women who push you into other women’s arms when you’re the FATHER of the child? Are you f~~~ing serious? RED FLAG! RED FLAG! RED FLAG!

If you go off and do anything with another woman, you basically target yourself for future abuse and “emotional” ammunition.  The whole “well you did it, so will I” card will be played and it is a nasty downward spiral.

Exsliventxs wrote:

When women learn they’re about to lose their comfy surroundings they begin to barter and beg. This is a LAST ditch effort to CONTROL YOU

Emotional control example at its finest.  In fact, I wonder if a sticky post could be made, like a Wikipedia, of womens s~~~ tests, psychological games and the possible meanings and course of action?

 

Marriage?  No thanks, i'm not ready to be THAT miserable.

[Soldier-MedicParticipant 2566]

Porky.  Your set of circumstances leaves me wondering just what the hell your girl is really up.  Everyone here agrees that this is a s*** test of some sort.

There is a very real possibility that something more insidious is going on.  She just had a child 6 months ago and is inviting you to have a sexual relationship(s) outside of your current relationship.  At a time when a woman frequently feels the need to keep her man close because she has an infant child and your proximity makes her feel secure physically and emotionally, I would be more apt to believe that she urinates on your shoes to mark her territory.

Something is not adding up here.  Now I am going to ask a question that only you can answer, and if you are offended then I heartily apologize.

Could she be having an affair already?  Check her cell phone or email if you can access it.  Sometimes women cheat at this time in a relationship because they are searching for validation.  They seem to forget that a man committing their lives to them and children is a huge undertaking, and this fact doesn’t fill the howling emptiness that is the soul of modern women.

Could the baby belong someone else?  I would recommend getting DNA test.

I am 47 years old.  I was no angel when I got into my marriage and am definitely no angel today.  Experience tells me that a woman in this vulnerable time would not let her man do such a thing unless they are already looking at your replacement or are Coo Coo for Cocoa Cocoa Puffs.

"I asked you a question. I didn't ask you to repeat what the voices in you head are telling you" ~ Me. ........Yes I'm still angry.

[RoyDalParticipant]

… Something is not adding up here…

I agree. Like Admiral Akbar said …

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[TheGoodLifeParticipant 4]

Sounds like she wants to build a case for divorce, child support, alimony, welfare. It’s a trap. Withholding sex is emotionally abusive and controlling behavior. I don’t know the course, but you need to be careful. Don’t take the bait.

[porky ryanParticipant 18]

I don’t think she’s having an affair, she moved long distance to be with me and doesn’t really have a circle of people or contacts near to meet any perspective hookups.  but no doubt its a s~~~ test. i suspected it and just needed conformation.  i even told her she would resent it if i made the choice to do so but she denied it either out of naivete or just blatant lying.

TheGoodLife wrote:

Sounds like she wants to build a case for divorce, child support, alimony, welfare.

i think that when she first got pregnant she was still passionate about “us” but now has doubts and put this test forth so that she can pursue this type of action without guilt if thats what she feels she should do.  i won’t take the bait but believe even if things workout it’s never going back to how it was and she’ll always be witholding.

[GrumpyParticipant]

In this case I would not call it a s~~~ test. It is a Final Exam, that is fixed so that you will only fail.

When a woman offers you the option to f~~~ another woman, the relations~~~ is over and the real manipulation begins, the legal ending will ruin you.  Its now a matter of WHEN, not IF she pulls the trigger. Protect yourself, heed a lot of the advise given by a lot of the men on this site. Don’t lose your cool, don’t get angry. Just protect yourself, and move on. She already has

There was a time in my life when I gave a fuck. Now you have to pay ME for it

[ExsliventxsParticipant 1067]

porky ryan wrote:

i think that when she first got pregnant she was still passionate about “us” but now has doubts and put this test forth so that she can pursue this type of action without guilt if thats what she feels she should do.  i won’t take the bait but believe even if things workout it’s never going back to how it was and she’ll always be witholding.

Make sure the kid is yours lol

Leave that trick.

[Soldier-MedicParticipant 2566]

If she’s always going to be withholding then your relationship is already at an end.

It may seem we are pushing a DNA test.  If you relationship doesn’t get on track then you are looking at decisions that need to be made.  Knowledge is power.  If you are not absolutely sure about certain things then the decision making process is corrupted by incomplete data.

A quick DNA paternity test can be purchase for less than $30.00 at Walgreens.  If Walgreens isn’t in your area then I’m sure that other pharmacies carry them.  I suggest that you purchase it this way rather than ordering it online.  You never know if she may intercept it in the mailbox.  Us it at a time she is out of the house or napping or etc.

http://www.walgreens.com/search/results.jsp?Ntt=dna+test

If it is your child, you can financially plan accordingly, weather you choose to stay married or not.  If it isn’t, you can still financially plan accordingly.

Also, seriously consider a vasectomy.  They are far less expensive than future children and child support payments.

"I asked you a question. I didn't ask you to repeat what the voices in you head are telling you" ~ Me. ........Yes I'm still angry.

[Anonymous 42]

@porky, I hate to break it to you, she’s a classic gynocentric, you’re not even in the picture, you never were, nor ever will be. You may want to diligently plan your escape. When a woman tells you to go f~~~ someone else, she’s really saying go f~~~ yourself. Snap out of it, wake up, smell the coffee, it’s time to consider your options. I personally would walk after hearing something that degrading directed at me, but that’s me. I wish you well, and hope you get through it OK. Cheers

[DeepInThoughtParticipant 2710]

Soldier-Medic wrote:

Could the baby belong someone else?  I would recommend getting DNA test.

This!

[Won'tGetFooledAgainParticipant 3293]

porky ryan wrote:

I don’t think she’s having an affair, she moved long distance to be with me and doesn’t really have a circle of people or contacts near to meet any perspective hookups. but no doubt its a s~~~ test. i suspected it and just needed conformation. i even told her she would resent it if i made the choice to do so but she denied it either out of naivete or just blatant lying.

TheGoodLife wrote:

Sounds like she wants to build a case for divorce, child support, alimony, welfare.

When a woman says she is not interested in sex, what she really means is she isn’t interested in having sex with you.  I would guess that she doesn’t want to be with you anymore and this is the first step in her planning her escape.  As she moved long distance to be with you I expect she is looking at moving back home with the child.  She may already have a guy from her past lined up back home to move onto.

For women, everything eventually boils down to Alpha Fucks, Beta Bucks.

[Anonymous 42]

[Anonymous 5]

She’s had a baby with your DNA. You’re now owned.
The NAWALT stage is over, the AWALT stage has begun.

[Author]

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