Home › Forums › Relations~~~s › Things my gf said…
This topic contains 42 replies, has 31 voices, and was last updated by 
experienced 4 years ago.
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lately im reading a lot on this site and i think it has an effect on me even though Im still purple pill at best. Here is my problem:
My and my gf are both in late 20’s and together for more then 1 year.
So we were out celebrating new year and she was drunk… I heard her say some stuff that really made me think.She was talking to one of my friends and i do not know the whole story but she said that her priorities are like that ‘girl friends FIRST, boyfriend (me) second’… the thing is that i actually figured that out pretty soon into relationship and thought she needs little more time to fall for me but it hasnt changed much. Her friends are actually before me/more important then me majority of the time. For an example – there were many occasions when she rather spent her time with her girl friends (having drinks or a ladies night out) then with me.The other thing that hurt me much worse is that she said to my friend that she wants to have a baby in the next 2 years and Im gonna be a father or someone else will be.
I mean after hearing this I feel like Im completely unimportant as a person/boyfriend – just a mean to her end, just a tool for her desires… And we have never even discussed topic like that before.
And from time to time im feeling and Im pretty certain that she doesnt give a s~~~ what i want, my desires and wishes are unimportant and disposable… its like she is so self centered she doesnt actually see that or she does and is just plain selfish…Are those statements in your opinion strange or am I overreacting? its like she is settling for ‘Mr good enough’ and is not really into me as a person – im thinking like that because of the frequency of sex too. But its important for her to have a relationship and have me playing a role of a boyfriend on display for her family and friends when it suits her… and dont ask me about the sex. she is not into it and Im getting it like twice a month (we do not live together). She always find something more appealing to do when she is invited or she she needs some convincing to come.
You are asking me why I m staying with her right? Because she is hot and i have no game I do not have relationship experiences and because she is my 1st longterm/serious gf. I cant let her go. Beside that she is affectionate with me when we are together – she often initiates dates (when it suits HER of course), we hear each other every day, she initiates hand holding and kissing, buying me stuff from time to time, paying for dinner like half the time when we are eating out, etc… dont know what to do.
I should end it right?
her priorities are like that ‘girl friends FIRST, boyfriend (me) second
She said that to make your more insecure, I said more, beause otherwise she wouldn’t dare to do it.
there were many occasions when she rather spent her time with her girl friends
Girls do that only for one reason! They want attentions from other guys and see what’s out there on the market, that’s better than YOU.
The other thing that hurt me much worse is that she said to my friend that she wants to have a baby in the next 2 years and Im gonna be a father or someone else will be.
She’s got no respect for you, dude, seriously wake up.
Are those statements in your opinion strange or am I overreacting
NO, you are under-reacting big time!
I cant let her go
Well, there are only two choices we have in this world, either do something about it, or accept it.
I should end it right
Hell ye
Your opinion and statements are not strange and/or overreacting.
girl friends FIRST, boyfriend (me) second
She’s still on the c~~~ carousel. She’s in her 20s, so there is no surprise there. You’re an option to her – not a priority. She’d likely drop you like a bad habit if something “better” came along.
The other thing that hurt me much worse is that she said to my friend that she wants to have a baby in the next 2 years and Im gonna be a father or someone else will be
Let me guess….she’ll be around 30 at that point? Her behavior is textbook.
She has a plan, and you can either be part of it or move on. Don’t you think you should be part of that discussion? She is showing zero respect towards you!
just a tool for her desires
That’s exactly what you are. You’re a disposable utility.
Don’t be stupid man. Have some respect for yourself.
You’re seeing all the red flags – do yourself a favor and end it with her. If you don’t, you’ll be back on here sometime in the future telling us about how your life has been turned upside down.
Ask any guy here who has been through it, and they will tell you to not ignore the warning signs. Things don’t get better – they get worse!
” I cant let her go”
bulls~~~ it amazes me that men are capable and even willing to convince themselves of things that simply are not true based on irrational fear
“should i end it”-you already know the answer yet you ask the question perhaps it’d be best to stick with her till she has that baby? until of course you figure out its not yours and shes been f~~~ing Tyrone for the last 2 years, as the post above states this is textbook behavior and you are a beta provider, if that is your wish, so be it….you guys have some solid points..
tnx for replies…things that confuses me are that I get mixed signals – sometimes i feel she is REALLY INTO ME – is very affectionate, asking me about my day/job, snuggles to me when we sleep together, is very caring, buy some stuff for me, got text massage before bed so i know she thinks about me… but then comes the day or a week or a period of time I get a feeling I dont really matter to her at all.
I want kids, but with woman who i feel is really into me, that i am important, not just when it suits her… but since the beginning i have never been a priority. there are at least 2 or 3 things that are more important then me anytime. and she doesnt hide it at all. but if she is not no 1 on my list she throws tantrums.
for example – i play national football league in my country. The home stadium is cca 10 min away from her home. she has never ever came to see me play. Like she doesnt give a damn. One time in the beginning she said she would like to come – when i invited her she got something to do/somewhere to go and that was that. And we had like 15 home games. She always knows when we play at home, but i only get a massage ‘good luck’ or ‘call me after the game’ or something… when we had an argument not long ago and she was throwing some things at me i told her i would come to see her play even if she was into underwater hockey (i cant care less about it), because i would want to see HER play, she responded ‘i would come if it was closer to my home’… really? 10 min driving is too much too see your bf play? OK… just like its too much to came to my town (it is also 10 min driving away from her home and i drove to hers 90% of the time when we see each other). And then i constantly notice my teammates gfs/wifes besides the field and always wonder why mine never shows… because of things like this i feel unimportant.
And about sex I ll explain…. We talked about it many times… to no avail because there is some sort of a problem she is not willing to be honest about. Everything is good she says and there is no problem, but there is no sex – sometimes up to few weeks in a row. Im pretty sure if i wouldnt bring that up she wouldnt either because she cant care less about being sexless. And im not really horny guy either – id be ok with regular sex once maybe twice a week. Im already feeling my confidence is worse and my sex drive is getting lower and lower.
its like she wants her cake and eat it to. She often reserves her weekend nights for drinks/partying with her girl friends and tell me during the week in advance (im invited pretty often too)- some friends are single some not, but when I suggest spending time in the bed for Friday/Saturday night she often finds something else to do or needs some convincing. i dont think a women who has a plan to get a child in a year or 2 acts that way. maybe she should get a child with one of her girl friends.
You´re right, you´d better pull out soon.
If you´re so inclined, you can keep at it for another couple months or so IF you are carefull and know for a fact that she wants to wait another year before getting preggers, while you´re lining up a new GF.
Unless you want to go Ghost for a while that is or drop out of the game entirely, and if it´s even worth it to you putting up with it a bit longer to get your dick wet now and then…. But be extremely carefull!!
The friends first thing is not that bad in my book, because you also get the time to put your friends first before the relationship and have plenty of time for yourself and your hobbies. The clingy girls that don´t give you the time to meet your pals and have your hobbies are worse… but: Chances are she is also riding the C~~~ Carousel on her nights out and is getting plenty of sex if she really is that hot….
And you are only her beta chump good enough for providing a facade towards her family and picking up the tab, and since she´s getting plenty of Chad Thunderc~~~ on the sides, it´s a real chore for her putting it out for you so she does the bare minimum to keep you around….
There are girls out there with a weak libido, but 99 times out of 100 they like plenty of Sex, just not with their beta provider….
I´d send a friend or two to investigate wheter she actually is on a Ladies night out (but possibly riding the CC with any old Thug who shags her on the toilet or parking lot) with her friends or if it´s her alibi for dating other guys.
She possibly thinks she´s got you lined up for the beta bucks already and is shamelessly “not missing out” behind your back, with the real possibility of it being NOT your child at all once she´s got knocked up….
You should probably run.
give us liberty, or give us death!
Anonymous0Wolf said “Things don’t get better – they get worse”
RUN NOW RUN FAST RUN FAR
Come to the forums for support. The brothers here won’t steer you wrong even if you don’t agree.
As for sex you could probably do better than twice a month just about anywhere.WISE THE F~~~ UP ……
WAKE THE F~~~ UP …
UNDO YOUR LEASH … GET OFF ALL FOURS AND STAND TALL AND PROUD.
Jesus H Christ …… have some self respect and frame ….. PLEASE.
She sees you as a pussy and soon you’ll be treated like one.
Chad is lubing his dick for her.
Take control of your life and stop skating behind on her pussy juice.
Said with painful man love.
things that confuses me are that I get mixed signals
It’s called manipulation. She’s turning you into a puppet, and she’s holding the strings.
I want kids, but with woman who i feel is really into me, that i am important, not just when it suits her…
You’re going to have a very difficult time finding that. That’s speculation on my part; however, one thing is factual: your current GF is not what you seek.
And about sex I ll explain…. We talked about it many times… to no avail because there is some sort of a problem she is not willing to be honest about.
She’s not being open and honest? The red flag is now on fire!
As well, if there are sex problems now, you’ll be celibate after marriage and children.
its like she wants her cake and eat it to
That’s exactly her modus operandi.
IF YOU HAVE KIDS WITH THIS C~~~:
1. YOU MAY FIND YOUR NOT THE FATHER.
2. THEY ARE HER CHILDREN
3. THEY ARE NOT YOUR CHILDREN
4. CHAD OR THE GOVERNMENT ARE THE FATHER.
You are so dangerously close to f~~~ing your life up …. I’m have to shout at you.
Go read ‘the manipulated man’ and the archive here.
You have been warned many time from guys here. There is a very good reason for that.
You seem like a nice guy, and thats the source of your problem. She knows this, thus her manipulation techniques work just fine on you. She holds 0 respect for you and what you want. Your relationship will worsen over time if you continue it.
Get some boundaries and act on them. You have given her too much power over you and now you are her puppet on a leash. There is no coming back from this. Dump her sorry ass. You do not deserve to be treated like an option or tool / asset.
Keep us posted brother and don’t wait too long.
Btw, dude, you came here to mgtow.com and post your story for a reason, if you were happy and all that with this harpy, mgtow.com wouldn’t even cross your mind.
But subconsciously you know something is wrong, you just don’t know what is wrong, your brain hasn’t been adjusted sufficiently enough to solve female bulls~~~ puzzle because we men have been told to be gentlemen and make women happy throughout the ages. The moment we feel they aren’t we blame ourselves for it as if it was some type of failure on our part.
Anyways, your male survival instinct is screaming at you right now, so don’t ignore it. Get out while you can.
Anonymous6Seriously OP listen to what these guys are saying, they saved me in my time of need as well. The answer to your problem is right here but its up to you to act now.
Dude get past the conditioning and indoctrination you been fed your whole life and run!. Before it’s too late !!!
This is a classic “type” and you’re describing nothing unusual.
girl friends FIRST,
Then what is she doing with a boyfriend? ( Scratch that. I hate that word : “boyfriend”. )
What doe she want with a man? To be a sperm donor?If you’re not her priority, you’re only an option.
The other thing that hurt me much worse is that she said to my friend that she wants to have a baby in the next 2 years and Im gonna be a father or someone else will be.
Looks like I just answered my own question. A man is a sperm donor to her. Since it doesn’t matter WHO HE IS, you can safely take a cue from that. This is one of the creepiest things women do in my opinion. They have a “plan” and it doesn’t matter who he is.
When a man wants to have children he considers who she is. He won’t even WANT to have children unless he’s having kids with that particular woman. But it’s like women are wired to not give a damn. I have broken up with girlfriends because of this “feeling” that is now confirmed.
The creepy part about it, is that I could have been married (and a father) MANY times. So many of my girlfriends wanted to get married and they wanted me to marry them! But then I realized what she means when she says “I wanna get married”…… it’s not “I wanna get married TO YOU”…. it’s just “I wanna get married”. Huge red flag.
So we would break, and then she would just marry the VERY NEXT ONE! How is that even f~~~ing possible? I don’t meet a single marriageable female, but they would marry one…. or the next one… or the next one! To me, this attitude “I guess you’ll do – as long as I get what I want” is creepy as s~~~. It’s not just a cartoon, man.
Im completely unimportant as a person/boyfriend – just a mean to her end, just a tool for her desires… And we have never even discussed topic like that before.
Precisely my point.
retty certain that she doesnt give a s~~~ what i want
Your describing a list of exes here to a tee. I can’t tell you how many times I was so boiling mad, because when I brought up my legitimate concerns, they would say “I don’t care!” – like if my place was a mess and I didn’t want anyone over, or I had too much to do, they would say “I don’t care”.
its like she is so self centered she doesnt actually see that or she does and is just plain selfish…
Listen to your manstincts on this.
she is my 1st longterm/serious gf. I cant let her go.
Danger zone, man. That’s one of the worst things you can tell yourself. Late 20s is the most dangerous time for you. You can’t see the future yet, but the next few years are very important. This his when the Wall is approaching for her and you have so much potential ahead of you. If you’re a man who has his s~~~ together, your work is on track and you see a bright future ahead…… this is when women around 30 will start trying to lock you down — when she starts to sense her “market value” starts to decline… and just before you begin to realize yours.
I cannot believe the similarities here.
dont know what to do.
That’s not a good feeling and I know it well. Just ask yourself, if anyone will do, do you want to be that guy? Wasn’t for me. But we can’t tell you what to do.
If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.Bail out before it’s to late. If you can’t do better than her, then you had best do without.
Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?
She often reserves her weekend nights for drinks/partying with her girl friends
Tom Leykis says (and I heartily agree);
“if that’s something she needs to do, then she can’t be in a relationship with ME. I’m not controlling or dictatorial, she can do whatever she wants, but she can’t be in a relationship with me”.
This is very sensible. If a woman wasn’t to go out and collect other male attention, NO PROBLEM!!!
She can do that while she’s SINGLE.she is my 1st longterm/serious gf. I cant let her go.
That stuck out the most. When guys are younger, it can be very discouraging, because girls generally prefer older (more “established”) guys and it’s not until our mid 20s that things start to ramp up for us. Then stupidly, we tend to think the first girl that pays attention to us, talks to us, and bats her eyelashes is “the best I’m ever gonna do”……. but she’s only the best you’ve done SO FAR.
I would also strike the term “serious” altogether. The only relationship worth having is a FUN relationship, and it doesn’t sound like very much “fun” to you. But again, only you would really know that.
dont know what to do.
Here’s what you definitely MUST do: Guard your sperm like fort Knox.
Don’t even let her in the bathroom with a discarded condom in the waste bin.If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.i really appreciate the time you put into this thread to try to help me.
looks like i ll have to let her go. i also posted on other relationship forums but the opinions are little different. but stuff you guys said makes sense. i asked what the hell she did for me or our relationship/sex problem the last couple of months? the answer is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!
btw, i forgot to mention…
she was dating a guy for 2 years (a few years before me). I do not know him personally but I know who he is because its a small town.
im perfectly straight man and i can tell you he is a very good looking guy – model like face but he is not very tall – around 5 foot 7. he is a personal trainer with a great body and is successful – he runs his own fitness courses/programs. One time girl friends were talking about him and my gf said he is a good guy and she wishes him all the best. When i asked her why they broke up she said HE WAS TOO NICE we did not function together. I also figured out she was making fun that he is short – not directly but i got that.looks like im also too nice.
I haven’t posted in over 8 months but after reading this I couldn’t resist. You need to drop this woman as fast as you can (like yesterday, seriously). I am amazed at how similar your girlfriends actions are to a pit viper I dated years ago.
” Beside that she is affectionate with me when we are together – she often initiates dates (when it suits HER of course), we hear each other every day, she initiates hand holding and kissing’ – wow that is my ex to a tee, do not fall for it like I did. Your GF sounds so much like my manipulating ex GF that I seriously thought you were dating her until I looked at her age. lol.
RUN as fast as your legs can carry you away from this snake. The sex thing is one of the biggest red flags possible ( I know because my situation was very similar). She is definitely getting some from other guys and doing just enough to keep you around. Telling your friend that she is going to have a baby with or without you is all the evidence you need. Hell she was probably seeing if he would jump at the bait and screw her. TRUST me you need to leave this girl NOW before she totally breaks your heart -and trust me she will. Breaking up with her will be painful but you will be sparing yourself months of anger, frustration and sadness in the long run. Please take everyone’s advice here seriously. Don’t make the same mistake some of us did.Hey Keymaster
“So we would break, and then she would just marry the VERY NEXT ONE! How is that even f~~~ing possible?” Boy oh boy do I know what you mean. I thought the exact same thing- How is that even effing possible? Truly sick, strange creatures, Scary even.HE WAS TOO NICE
It’s a serious problem when being “too nice” is a serious problem.
This comes from a toxic female(s) for several reasons.• He gives her nothing to complain about , and women are happiest when they are complaining.
• It validates her feministed core belief system that “men are assholes”. She would like nothing better than to be treated like crap so she can demonize him later.
• She doesn’t think very highly of herself and doesn’t believe in her heart that she should have a man who is kind to her.
I learned from the female accusation “he’s too nice”. In fact, when a woman has any kind of “problem” with me, I just flash her a s~~~-eating grin and say “Just making sure you don’t accuse me of being “too nice”. You girls really HATE that. Don’tcha.”
looks like im also too nice.
That’s not your problem. Be careful what you accept responsibility (or blame yourself) for. A toxic bitch will try and MAKE it your problem. Make sure she doesn’t get away with it. Its’ not your problem.
Think about it. You’re wrong when you’re an asshole, and you’re wrong when you’re “too nice”? When a woman treats you like you’re an asshole – no matter WHAT you do…… dump that bitch with zero hesitation or remorse. Best move I ever made, really.
Correction: best mistake I ever avoided.
I am amazed at how similar your girlfriends actions are to a pit viper I dated years ago.
Same. Make it plural.
If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.- AuthorPosts
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