This topic contains 9 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by 
God is Dead 3 years, 10 months ago.
Greetings everyone, I wanted to start my first topic by mentioning that I’ve been lurking here for months now via my cellphone, and finally decided to join the discussion (which is unusual for me because in the past I have only become a member of other forums in order to troll). With that being said, prepare yourselves, because I have a long spiel to get off my chest:
In childhood, I never really got along with my younger sister. We would often play together (considering that we shared a bedroom), however our interactions would typically end badly (with her tattling on me over dumb s~~~ like most kids do, or with physical/mental pain being inflicted upon each other). In fact, I think it is worth mentioning that I accidentally cracked her skull open during a tug-of-war over a blanket, not really too sure why we were even fighting over it in the first place… The rare occasions we didn’t brawl was usually when we were both distracted by something like a TV show, movie, or video-game.
Also, before I move-on to my teenage years, I want to bring-up the first time I ever got in “serious” trouble at school (circa first grade). A girl with pig tails on the playground bothered me to the point where I would sneak-up behind her and yank them as hard as I could (honestly can’t remember what she did to provoke me, but I wouldn’t retaliate like that without good reason). And I did this not only once, but multiple times until my teacher talked to me about it one-on-one. Was this a premonition of my future troubles with women? You decide…
I was a late-bloomer, and didn’t intentionally masturbate for the first time until my junior year in high school (before that it was all wet dreams). As you can probably guess, my father never gave me “the talk.” Instead, one day I found a book on my bed explaining the mechanics and biology of sex from a very clinical and scientific perspective, and I have to admit that it never really fostered that much of an interest in me; I glossed-over it until I grew bored, and then proceeded to continue playing whatever video-game I was working on at the time. With that being said, I was always somewhat of an outcast (mostly by choice because I didn’t agree with or like a general majority of the people my age, especially women, who I found immature and fixated on drama like it was some kind of addiction), and thus never went to prom.
Fast-forward a year and I’m working at the Albertsons directly across the street from my high school while also juggling several university courses part-time. This is where my one and only girlfriend asked me out, so to speak (I found many girls attractive enough to proposition for a date in school, but surely enough their personalities always killed whatever romance I had envisioned in my head). Let’s call her “B” for the sake of simplicity and anonymity. She was a tomboy, and because of this her and I were like two peas in a pod due to her views on other females and we also shared many common interests. Needless to say I was stressed as f~~~ working a crappy supermarket position as well as trying to grasp material I could not devote enough time to fully comprehend (JavaScript programming), so throwing a girlfriend into the mix definitely did not make it any easier.
Some background info on B: she had two older sisters plus an older brother who suffered from Asperger syndrome (really upstanding guy, I actually knew him since elementary school where most of my colleagues would tease and belittle him, something I never agreed with even at that age). The relationship her parents shared was built on a broken foundation. She revealed to me early-on how her mother cheated on her father for years (and how her and the rest of her siblings were all bastard children), and yet the guy either didn’t know about it or ignored it. Her real father was a piece-of-s~~~ scumbag who fled the country to the United Kingdom to escape from the child support payments (which must’ve been extremely expensive, considering that he knocked her up four times in a row). When B attempted to establish contact with him via Facebook she discovered that he started a new family across the Atlantic and it was her half-brother who eventually messaged her back saying that their father wanted nothing to do with her and to stop this at once.
Needless to say she was heartbroken, and vowed that she would never cheat on me because of how much her home life had been wrecked by her mother’s decisions. Of course, we all know that AWALT, but at the time I was enraptured by her false promises and delusions of grandeur. We even talked about getting married at some point, how many kids we would have, what types of pets we would own… However our relationship was not perfect, and it almost came to a grinding halt because I spent some time with a coworker of mine at my university (she was attending a community college across the freeway) and B got jealous. Nothing happened between us (and we’re actually still good friends to this day), although B was convinced that I was cheating on her and gave me a proposition: if we were to continue dating I had to drop all of my female friends. I told her this was unfair, considering the fact that (being a tomboy) a majority of her friends were male, and I never accused her of cheating on me, so she was forced to drop it and we resumed as per usual.
I lost my virginity to her during a vacation to Australia that we both split down the middle (which was quite cheap because we stayed at my grandparent’s house, so we pretty much only payed for plane tickets and events we wanted to go to). It was probably the worst way we could have possibly done it, we were in their cramped-as-f~~~ downstairs bathroom so that they couldn’t hear us (they put us in separate bedrooms upstairs next to theirs) and although I got it in just fine I never lasted very long in the sack both then and later because I was really nervous. In hindsight, I actually realized that I was severely depressed at this point in my life because of all my other obligations (having never been depressed in my life I didn’t recognize the signs), and there were several times she wanted to get it on and I wasn’t feeling up to the task (spending hours at school and then working an eight hour shift afterwards really drained my energy, and the only time I got to see her was at the end of my long-ass days). I attended her prom (which made me happy, since I never went to mine), and she got accepted to a university that was about an hours drive from our hometown.
This is where our relationship developed a serious kink: she wanted the (very expensive) “college experience” of living on-campus, and since she was going to a private university it would run her close to $50K a year. I purposely avoided this by commuting to my university, which added to my stress while at the same time saved me a lot in student loans. We decided to turn our SDR into an LDR, although I had neither the time nor the energy to call her every night (didn’t own a cellphone at this point in my life), and thus we slowly drifted apart… Looking-back, this is where I should’ve ended the relationship, but I was naïvely hopeful. I took the weekends off from work so that I could spend several days of the week with her, and would drive-up to her campus once I was off the clock on Friday nights. Week after week of endless commuting and lackluster sex followed, consuming so much of my time that it began to affect my studies; I didn’t care, because I would sacrifice anything and everything for the one I loved.
Something else I didn’t notice until I got more sexual experience was that she almost never bathed regularly, so the two times I attempted to go-down on her it both smelled and tasted horrible, leading me to believe that all pussy was like that and to thus avoid cunnilingus at all possible costs. On top of this, I think part of the reason why it was hard for me to go for round two of sex was because she was the textbook definition of a dead fish: she never made a sound whenever we were doing it, and that wasn’t exactly a turn-on. One day when we were chilling at my house (which was rare, because I was usually at her house or dormitory), she broke the news to me: she wanted to break-up with me. This saddened me, but what truly shattered my heart was that she didn’t have the nerve to tell me why, she just broke-down crying which made me start sobbing as well. I didn’t press her for answers, I figured that if she wanted to do this she must have her reasons. I was later told by my friends who were friends with her on Facebook (something I avoided like the plague) that she updated her profile as being in a new relationship with some guy who was also attending her university less than a week after the break-up. This was after dating her for two and a half years.
This was the only point in my life that I seriously considered suicide, there was no escape from my depression and although it slowly got better with time I knew my wounds would never heal. My parents and friends told me the usual BS, that I would find someone new who would love me more than she ever did, but I knew that this wasn’t true. How could I possibly trust any woman with my heart ever again if the person who I thought was my true love could drop it like a hot potato and move-on to the next person lined-up (probably via Facecrook) only a few days later? Not only this, but the likelihood that she more than likely cheated on me while we were still together makes her whole life a self-fulfilling prophecy in my eyes: she loathed and despised her mom so much for what she had done to her father, vowing to never do that, and yet it still happened regardless. I made the mistake of continuing to be her friend afterwards, although I had no hopes of getting-back together with her, I just wanted to spend time with her once more, despite the fact that this was killing me from the inside. Thankfully I never met my replacement.
My failure at “being a man” in bed alongside our cracked relationship obliterated any confidence I thought I once had, and I continued to spiral downwards into a deeper and darker depression. My libido, which was already somewhat suppressed before by my stress, dropped to nil for the next several years that I was attending my university, and I missed-out on many sexual encounters out of a fear that I wouldn’t be able to sexually satisfy the lady in question, just like my ex. Several friends thought I was crazy while some even got mad at me for not “performing my duty” as a “man,” mostly because they would typically try to sleep with them after I “rejected” them (although in all fairness it was more like I was rejecting myself) and wouldn’t get anywhere with them. For several years I believed that I was actually asexual and lurked the forums on a website known as AVEN (the Asexual Visibility and Education Network), reading thread after thread, slowly convincing myself that I was this sexual orientation. In other words, I just gave-up, although my lingering masturbation habits still puzzled me to say the least.
While lurking AVEN, this is when I slowly grew-apart from their sexless viewpoints and discussions, and started seeking new information. Typing question after question into Google, I discovered many new and interesting viewpoints from the Manosphere, including the red pill and once ingested my life had never been the same. I saw the true nature of women and the laws of hypergamy in a new light, and suddenly everything that had happened to me made complete and total sense. I still felt like something was off though, and it was not until I had an experience with a drug commonly known as ecstasy last Halloween that I came to the conclusion that I am undeniably straight as f~~~, and apparently also horny as hell. I always thought that MGTOW was somewhat of an extremist group prior to this, but after reading many topics over the past several months I think that this is perhaps one of, if not the most eloquent and respectful forum I have ever seen on the internet. We are all gentlemen here, equals in the eyes of one another, which is something that I fear most, if not all women, cannot seem to fathom due to their rose-tinted SMP glasses.
Whew! If you made it all the way to the end then crack-open a because you have most definitely earned it! I never trusted a shrink with this kind of information, both because I refused to ever go to one (much to my mother’s chagrin) and also because they’re simply being paid to listen to your troubles, they don’t or can’t actually relate to your situation, they would rather just shut you up with medications that make you “feel” better. I never needed them regardless, by taking this metaphorical red pill my confidence is now through the roof and probably won’t be diminishing anytime soon! I am now all about self-improvement and completely devoting my spare time to hanging with close friends and enjoying my hobbies; one of my New Years Resolutions is to start a work-out routine, and although I haven’t been as dedicated as I want to be, I am also going to be moving-out from my parents house in roughly a month and start my new life outside of the “nest.” I feel as though I am now in complete control of my life and ready to grab it by the horns! May good tidings and positivity be with you my brothers!
Welcome brother.
I personally have had great luck with a fleshlight…to deal with my biological urges. I’m a good looking guy and can get sex anytime I want it. But then I have to tangle with women who are like stray cats.
So the fleshlight completely got rid of the urge, need for live pussy.
Thanks for the warm welcome, and I’ll consider a fleshlight in the future but honestly my hands have got me this far in life, why stop now?
enjoy FREEDOM , it’s worth any price !
Ta mate, I agree! I appreciate the song too, music always uplifts the soul.
Hello and welcome. I don’t understand the image you posted at all (or it’s significance) and I don’t mind saying it’s rather morbid – but then again, you call yourself “God is Dead” which is pretty dark in itself.
Personally, Im not a religious man, but I also don’t think “God is dead” because I see natural laws all around me. I see a dog know the difference between right from wrong when a parent is scolding the child. I see rivers always flowing downstream and salmon swimming up stream and these “rules” were never taught to them. It’ the way things are. They are natural laws and in that way, God (to me) is “the way things ought to be”.
My avatar and name is referring to a very experimental, avant-garde film released in 1990 called Begotten, it is a grisly and dark take on the book of Genesis. It is also a reference to a song by one of my favorite bands Black Sabbath:
I myself am not religious either, both of my parents lost their faith before I was born so I have a neutral view on the topic, but if I had to choose something I would go with agnosticism; like Ozzy says in the music video, if there is a God I don’t believe that he is dead.
Of all the details you spoke about, there was no mention of your age (except that you have already had several years of university), but “depression” over a girl is the first thing to overcome. Especially in your teens and 20s. It would be like being “depressed” because you thought the wind should only blow in one direction.
So when you look at the world, consider asking yourself:
“Is this how it really is? Or is this how I WANT it to be”.To answer your question I am 23, and that relationship ended four years ago. I graduated from college with a bachelor’s degree in Film & Media Studies last year. I have to admit that watching certain media and viewing my parents as role models to a certain extent definitely gave me high hopes, but in my opinion one of the many things that defines a relationship between two people is mutual exclusivity, for why would I even be in a relationship if it was an open free-for-all? I had many opportunities to cheat on my partner, but I never acted on any of them because I didn’t want to compromise the integrity of our bond.
She’s not married, and neither are you, so that means both of you are free to sleep with, date, have dinner with anyone you want. BOTH of you. Treating a girlfriend like a “wife” ( or expecting “the wife” experience from her ) is not even close to realistic. But at the same time, expecting an unmarried men not to cheat or behave like a husband is also not realistic. BOTH of you are free (and designed by nature!) to blow in any direction, and nobody gets to have problem with that.
The idea that a man and woman should remain together for life and the sex should be great and nobody should cheat and , love love love is in the air is so f~~~ed and far from what nature designed, I don’t even understand how it’s POSSIBLE to be “depressed” when it doesn’t work.
Once you start learning that women are temporary pleasures at best, you stop being “depressed” over when it doesn’t work out. Think of it like: It’s not even SUPPOSED to work out. So how can it be devastating when it doesnt?
My parents are proof that it is possible, although looking at all of the divorces being filed around me perhaps they are one in a million? I was raised by my pops to be very traditional, and this includes asking women on dates as well as typically not making a move on them until either the second date or you receive some kind of positive reinforcement from them (verbal or nonverbal) that they are actually attracted enough to allow you to do that. I fail miserably in our hook-up culture because I need time to develop an emotional connection to the woman I am going to love, and usually by the time I’m ready I’ve already been “friend-zoned.”
Accept certain inalienable truths.
Welcome to MGTOW.
Trust me, I accepted them many years ago. That doesn’t change the fact that I actively loathe or despise these truths for what they are. And thanks for the welcome, I view you as one of the many voices of reason on these forums.
AND PS… unrelated. I just noticed that “Death” GIF of yours in your signature is 475K and very heavy on page load – to say nothing of it being overwhelming and depressing to look at under every post you make. A custom signature is not for that purpose so I will remove it from your signature and you can replace it with something a little more inspiring. Thank you.
Sorry about that, I’ve actually never embedded a GIF before so I wouldn’t know the difference between something light and heavy. Perhaps I am abnormal or nihilistic in this respect, but I never interpreted that image as depressing because within the context of the movie that is God in his death throes after disemboweling himself with a straight razor, and immediately afterwards a woman referred to as Mother Earth is born from this cosmic travesty. In a way it is depicting the circle of life, from the emptiness of death springs the fullness of life.
AnonymousGreetings GiD,
Thanks for your introduction and sharing details about your life. You are not alone. I am also enjoying reading the responses that your introduction has generated. Alas, I understand your situation.
I have been wanting to post my story about discovering the reality of male sexual power and how the porn industry’s version enslaves us. My abundant sexual life as a free man was a good part of my truth for the past twenty years and it has given me a deeper understanding of “Women’s Nature.”
Now, I have changed and come to believe in the power of MGTOW.
By telling my fantastic anecdotes of good sex with women, I am essentially encouraging MGTOW’s to play with a “bag full of hand grenades,” so that my brothers may find the one that will “NOT” blow up. This web site is too important to me and I don’t want to “s~~~ where I eat.”
At the age of fifty five, I realize that all of the efforts, money, love, attention, orgasms, f~~~s, and investments spent on women was a complete waste of my resources. My life would have been more rewarding, if I had gone my own way.
Therefore, I have been hesitant to post here at MGTOW about my discoveries regarding what are the requirements of “good sex” which can empower/ benefit a man.
Your suffering has reminded me of the decades I agonized until I learned the truth about tapping into my ancestral masculine power. You have motivated me to start writing about what I have learned.
My post entitled “Soppy Wanker” was written from the perspective of harnessing male sexual power to become combat ready for martial arts and dealing with aggressive men:
Nevertheless, the bedroom applications of using Internal Martial Arts to access our ancestral male power is a game changer.
The sexual issues that you experienced are only “problems” from the Porn Industry’s Narrative which is also the medical establishment’s storyline.
You may be sexually gifted. These “gifts” appear as weakness to the slaves that worship the deceits of the Porn Industry.
The most important gift that I have learned about was that my Penis always knew which women I was supposed to be f~~~ing, even when my heart and mind obsessed over some woman that wasn’t right for my body. So, my dick got numb and went on strike whenever I was with the wrong woman.
In my twenties, my Dick would mostly go soft/ numb when I was with this “Hot Chick” I dated. When she realized I was about to break up with her, she sabotaged the condom and got pregnant. I married her because, at that time, I was a good Catholic. For a decade, that bitch was happy to report my sexual “problems” to everyone.
Animals instinctively know how to find their compatible partners. Slave culture keeps us from using our instincts. Before my son was conceived, my Penis/ Gut knew about the physical problems that my son would have to deal with in his life. He now suffers from some physical and mental issues.
My Dick also knew that the “Hot Chick” who trapped me into marriage was a rotten c~~~.
Like most gifted men in our slave culture, I spent my youth, the most sexually potent time of my life, believing that I was less of a man because I was “overworked,” “depressed,” and “Inadequate.”
The young men who can remain celibate for at least two years while training with internal martial arts are unbeatable.
After my divorce, this “gift/ problem” prevented me from getting STD’s and worse.
Like you, I blamed my “inadequacies” on the standard deceptions that all of the slaves believe.
One of my younger brothers has the same “problem” as me. His Dick will not work when he attempts to have sex with a woman who is not compatible or when he invites a sleazy bitch into his bed.
Once I learned to listen to my gut and trust my dick, my sex life was much better. The variety of women that I f~~~ed later were more compatible and better suited for my sexual abilities which the Porn Industry is clueless about. The women I f~~~ed, after I began to trust my Dick, had multiple orgasms easily which happened because of my gifts and the proper use of my male power that naturally dominates/ inspires their feminine capabilities. They were all healthy, smelled great, their pussies were always wet for me, and they required NO “foreplay.” My dick was always hard and fierce for my compatible women.
I stopped watching porn, because it was boring compared to the real thing and it was difficult to accept all of the falsehoods.
The sexual heights that the S & M community reach are poor approximations of what I have achieved. I do not have to use pain to get there and my women have suffered no bruising, scars, damage as a result of using my gifts.
The path to discovering my male power involved some persistent Kegel like exercises combined with meditation. The Chinese method call “Pushing Hands” helped a lot with transforming my “gift” into performing like a human MRI which is useful for finding and releasing orgasms in a woman’s body.
Here is a link to a free PDF of the Chi Kung Bible which is a good place to start:
http://www.chikung.com/wp-content/files/chikungbible.pdf
A friend of mine had a gift that was so powerful that he did not need to bother with all of the exercises/ training I had to do. Instead, he used his innate psychic gift to find and get women to have lots of orgasms. And his body is the opposite of a Porn Idol.
I hope that you will develop your own male gifts/ powers and eventually realize that the whoopla about men’s sexuality shown in the Porn Industry and promoted by the medical establishment is a joke.
What happens when a man finally comprehends the cold and calculating thoughts that are going through a woman's mind, while her eyes are brimming with tears?
My post entitled “Soppy Wanker” was written from the perspective of harnessing male sexual power to become combat ready for martial arts and dealing with aggressive men:
I read your post and it was illuminating, seems like a lot of us have had somewhat similar experiences with a few of the variables being changed. I used to attend a martial arts course at our local community center, my instructor (whose name was Davey Crockett, no joke) was inspirational. He instilled good manners and values in all of us, and pushed us as close to our physical limits as we could go as children. When someone stepped outta line, he did not hesitate to force them back into place. Of course some kids would go home and cry to momma about how mean-spirited he was, but they just couldn’t get with the program and half the time the rest of us would just laugh at their pathetic excuses or cry-baby behavior. I’ll definitely look-into the Chi Kung Bible, sounds fascinating! Thanks for sharing your insight MM.
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