The hole

[ViciouscunningtreacherousParticipant 823]

It’s Thursday night. For whatever reason it’s a bad night. Sitting in a bar, anesthetizing myself. I’ve identified it. It is made real. It is a hole in my life, my soul, my being. Today I have been asking God to just let me stop feeling anything. As of yet, prayer is unanswered. I still feel the pain. I have the knowledge. I have absorbed the pill. I know the truth.

And I’m in pain.

When will it end??? When will I stop feeling numb only to want to cry? Where can I go to alleviate this suffering?

I sit here alone watching the blue pills hunt the c~~~s, and they have no understanding. The more they drink, the more ridiculous they get. Playing right into the spider’s web. For 5 hours now, don’t ask me why, perhaps morbid curiosity, I have watched this disfunctional and pathetic ballet play out. I swear to God and all that’s holy, I want to run away and be a beach bum. Will this pain never end? Will I ever find tranquility?

The hole is ever present. Every day. Smack dab in front of me. Can’t miss it. Do I ignore It? Do I just go around it with due caution? Do I try to fill it in and pave over It? Do I try to jump it and convert it into a win? Tell me please! What do I do?

For in much wisdom is much grief, and he who increases knowledge increases sorrow.

[Anonymous 43]

what you are watching is the s~~~ vortex.

because you are mgtow and had the red pill, it is an empty drain, the moment you invite a woman into your life, the hole fills with s~~~, and it needs to go down the hole/drain. the more s~~~, the more swirling madness will consume you

the hole you feel is the time, effort and money you used to spend on the pursuit of pussy…lol a hole. the hole is what you think you are missing out on.

fill the hole with positive things you want to do. hobby, continue studies, work out, some improvement in your life, anything to keep out of the s~~~ vortex

the empty feeling will go away. you won’t miss the toxic s~~~ vortex. it takes a while, but you will watch this and wonder why you were looking for that for yourself in the first place.

[AposematicParticipant 2671]

Autoblow2+

Best Hole Ever.

I love how it continues to stroke post climax (something the natural thing won’t do)
Coaxed a multi orgasm out of it the other day!!!

Afinogyny.. from the Greek Afino {to abandon/ to set down/ to leave /to allow/ to let } + Gyny {Women} MGHOW’s philosophy to not engage women without “hating them”. Narcorca =Narcissistic Orca typically spouting to a bathroom mirror taking an arms length selfie ; Wallinate describes post wall females whose SMV is terminally negligible New Years resolution "To not make women happy" . Instadestitue: yet another Neologism for Men that cohabit with women that decide to pull the handle of intervention orders.

[MGTOW_MikeParticipant 6253]

My favorite MGTOW channel: Spetznas

Viciouscunningtreacherous wrote:

Will I ever find tranquility?

You don’t need to “find” tranquility. All you have to do is observe it. I have practiced meditation many times. Please watch the whole video, bother. When you have some time for yourself in a quiet area. A number of MGTOW brothers liked watching this video.

If you need someone to talk to, privately, please do not hesitate to message me, brother.

A tranquil mind is neither happy nor sad, it is uninfluenced by external conditions.

[ViciouscunningtreacherousParticipant 823]

I’ve been trying to come to a Zen of sorts. A mgtow higher plane and it has been supremely difficult. I know it’s where I need to be but it is so hard to achieve. I think the only element on my side is that I hear their stupid and banal conversations that are so transparent and plain stupid and it makes me wince. I’m numb from dirty martinis and probably should go home. The hole is my need/extreme desire for love and passion that just can’t happen. And I don’t really want it anymore because the price is just too high. I know what I need to do. I just don’t know how to fill the hole.

For in much wisdom is much grief, and he who increases knowledge increases sorrow.

[ViciouscunningtreacherousParticipant 823]

I just read that. I think I’m drunk. Out bros.

For in much wisdom is much grief, and he who increases knowledge increases sorrow.

[MGTOW_MikeParticipant 6253]

Viciouscunningtreacherous wrote:

I just read that. I think I’m drunk. Out bros.

If you are really drunk, your grammar appears to be good!

A tranquil mind is neither happy nor sad, it is uninfluenced by external conditions.

[OldschoolParticipant 2481]

Hang in there brother, you are not alone. God does not want you to stop feeling, just the opposite, ask to start feeling. Feel what you are, why you exist, what and why you are on earth for. There is a reason, hold on, don’t let go. Drinking is ok but don’t make any big decisions while you are drinking. Stay here. Read and post. We got your back…

Get a vasectomy.

[Anonymous 43]

that hole is the denial of your internal programming. you are a man, must find a woman…society, your own dna, everything tells you: you have to have a woman, but you know women and the law are toxic.

you can live a happy life with out that. its ok not to have women in your life. not necessary for life functions

i have been fighting that for 8 years now. it f~~~n sucks. as bad as i want it, i can’t have it. i am just strong enough to keep it away, and i am weak enough to fall into the hole so easily. i learned that last weekend. i kept my s~~~ together and told a woman no. after 8 years, ya think i wasn’t thirsty. red pill saved me. knowing how giving in to my thirst would absolutely wreck me, i was sick for hours much later.

I wish i could tell you the after effects of the first close call in 8 years. physically ill, mentally affected. I stood at the edge of the hole, and did not fall in. sobriety is what kept me out of the hole. no alcohol.

i was told that hooking up with this woman would have no blowback, no one would care. she was too f~~~ed up to remember or care. I would remember, and I can’t live with that either.

i hope u find peace brother. this will get easier with time and practice.

[RhinoParticipant 3477]

Every person is different it will take time to heal your wound is large right now but take solace in knowing that you are not alone and that as time goes on you will find the things that will make you whole again. Your prayers are being answered it will always be in ways you will never expect them to appear and can easily miss. Keep your faith and if you can move away from having to be constantly reminded in a bar about the s~~~ vortex do so.

I would recommend some other pastime to keep you occupied until you heal. Get a dog go on long walks or find a hobby you enjoy. Reading a book is a good outlet too there are a ton of things that you can do to make you feel better. We are here to help if you need it just keep continuing to ask.

[ViciouscunningtreacherousParticipant 823]

I feel like I’m at a tipping point and just want to be pushed over the edge. I just want the next step. Thank you guys for caring.

For in much wisdom is much grief, and he who increases knowledge increases sorrow.

[MGTOW_MikeParticipant 6253]

Viciouscunningtreacherous wrote:

I feel like I’m at a tipping point and just want to be pushed over the edge. I just want the next step. Thank you guys for caring.

I myself, was contemplating suicide, as you can see in my early threads, but the brothers on here listened to me and helped me.

A tranquil mind is neither happy nor sad, it is uninfluenced by external conditions.

[743 roadmasterParticipant]

The path is not easy. Most of the general public expects you to do what everyone else is doing. Break from that can be a very empty feeling.
One of my ex wives fathers could not take the idea of ever being alone. The night he got kicked out he went out and found another woman. It was a serious price to pay for the next 5 years the two of them were together. She would not stop talking no matter what. It was madding to me to have to go visit the place. TV on woman talking, he was talking trying to tell us something, and my ex trying to get words in edgewise.
Finding the peace and balance is individual. Some times it just takes some time.

mgtow is its own worst enemy- https://www.campusreform.org/

[RhinoParticipant 3477]

Viciouscunningtreacherous wrote:

I feel like I’m at a tipping point and just want to be pushed over the edge. I just want the next step. Thank you guys for caring.

We have all been there I can remember walking miles one day with a 6 pack drinking at 1 am in the morning just pounding them away with no place to go in mind just wandering aimlessly. I was in such a mess I couldn’t think straight or want to continue living but I started to do things for myself over time and the pain got less each day but you hardly notice it when you are that hurt. Over time as I continued on with my life the pain got less and less to the point one day I looked up at the sky surrounded by nature and a fog just lifted from me.

I would recommend going out into nature and breathing in the fresh air and just doing stuff for you to make you heal better. Go camping or fishing, something to do with nature it helps you heal better and it takes you away from the s~~~ vortex that is currently surrounding you. If you can find the time to do it please do and remember things WILL get better for you and you will heal and become stronger for it.

[Anonymous 2]

Find a mental focus, one or many keep your mind occupied. Sitting in a bar drinking is counterproductive unless you with buddies having fun. Remember for prayers Gods time isn’t yours. Believe me it helps me so I pass it onto you. You can use my advice as you see fit of course.

[SandalsParticipant 4253]

Watch the Eckhart Tolle video MGTOW_Mike posted.

[TecumsehParticipant 98]

Viciouscunningtreacherous wrote:

I feel like I’m at a tipping point and just want to be pushed over the edge. I just want the next step. Thank you guys for caring.

Hang in there man, you’re not alone.

[OldschoolParticipant 2481]

As I type this I’m looking at one of the spots I decided to end it. It was here or a parking lot a mile away from my house. I couldn’t make up my mind on the location, I over thought it, in the end I didn’t do I and thank God for that. You are not alone, you are not the first one, you are not the last one. You are strong and you will get over this. You are a man. Live the pain, burn it into your soul. You will come out stronger. Reach out to us.

Get a vasectomy.

[Anonymous 43]

this is why we are here. none of our blue pill friends understand this hole in our lives. talk like this to a blue piller, and they will have you spend the weekend in a phychward at the hospital. this kind of red pill rage looks a lot like depression. I think its mourning the loss of the way it used to be until you figured it out. this is grief.

Grief over losing the old you. how f~~~ed up is that. grief for friend or family, everyone gets that. no one gets grief of losing the blue pill you, except those of us who went through it and survived. yeah survived because this is what kills men, not reaching out to other men in the hopes of finding someone who understands, and who can say, everything will be ok.

hold fast brother. keep talking to us.

[MGTOW_MikeParticipant 6253]

Anonymous wrote:

this is why we are here. none of our blue pill friends understand this hole in our lives.

It is like removing thorns. These thorns represent the illusions that have been drilled into our heads, ever since we were little boys. Once the thorns are removed, we need to fill those holes with activities than enrich our life as a MGTOW.

A tranquil mind is neither happy nor sad, it is uninfluenced by external conditions.

[Author]

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