The Danger of Viewing Marriage “Romantically”

[IronSoldierParticipant 55]

 

Being a romantic can fog your judgment.

 

Make no mistake about it:  you set men back 100 years by viewing marriage through the lens of a romantic.  Divorce is literally semi-inevitabe.  The prefix “semi-” comes from the Latin cognate, and its Old English counterpart “som-,” meaning “half,” and one in every two American marriages ends in divorce (and the majority of divorces — around two-thirds — are initiated by women).

 

What do I mean by “through the lens of a romantic”?  It’s easier to define what I don’t mean by it:  viewing marriage as solely a cost-benefit analysis and as a financial investment for women.  Any other view of marriage is romantic, dangerous, and completely antithetical to a man’s interests and welfare.

 

Viewing marriage through a romantic lens is hard to avoid.  Men and women are socialized from birth to view marriage — and all things leading up to it — romantically.  Cartoons, fairy tales, television shows, movies, songs, music videos, novels, poetry all typically depict the courtship, engagement and marriage process as a wondrous love story replete with sentimentality at every turn. This often lulls both parties into a false sense of security, creating an environment where the necessary ingredient of trust can — and, in many cases will — ultimately be exploited by one of the parties when notions of divorce become an appealing option.  (And as mentioned in previous posts, since two-thirds of divorces are initiated by women, said party is usually the woman.)  When the marital trust is exploited, the consequences are dire and downright disastrous for a man.  Assuming he has contributed even a slight majority of the marital assets, he faces the possibility of losing the fruits of years of hard work — monies and other assets that he acquired even before meeting his betrayer.

 

If love is truly blind, then the only safe way to contemplate marriage is solely through the lens of practicality and financial investment.  Consider what is at stake here:  your life’s work, all your assets, everything you have ever striven for — maybe a house, the accumulated wealth of every job you’ve ever had, and so on.  Would you blindly gamble with any of this in any other context?  Certainly not!  Letting love blind you and cause you to let your guard down with respect to protecting your assets is not just foolish, it’s financial suicide.

 

If you are truly a progressive man, a free-thinking individual, an independent soul, then leave romance out of your decision-making.  If you are the romantic type, then feel free to indulge in romance when it is appropriate.  But know that the time for making real-life decisions, like marriage, is not the time for romantic notions to cloud your judgment.  A man of the Twenty-First Century should avail himself of the abundant accumulation of knowledge and lessons that the experiences of his peers, the behavior of women and the posts with which your fellow MGTOW are trying to reach you.  Romanticism reached its peak in about 1850.  When it comes to the important decisions, leave it there.

 

[StargazerParticipant 12505]

When I hear the word “romance” I immediately think “Fog of War”. By that I mean to say that romance is a female construct designed to confuse and manipulate men into believing that the enrichment of females is the objective of a relationship. Romance is the deliberate subterfuge by a female of behaving as though rationality has no place in the context of a relationship in order to undermine the man’s ability to think and act rationally in that relationship.

Note that females are never expected to behave romantically… it’s always the men who are expected to do irrational things like make demeaning displays of emotion toward a female, spend money on useless items for a female and give up his own comfort, desires, ideals and even life to benefit a female. The female application of the expectation of romance from a man is a highly calculated and deliberately executed process of breaking down his rational mind in order to extract maximum sacrifice and value from him for her benefit, simple as that.

This is why I do not behave romantically. I am a realist and I am above being manipulated into a fantasy scenario wherein I will ultimately be consumed in order to sustain a female.

[TheNinjaUWannaH8Participant 386]

@ironsoldier…Definitely a Top 5 Article for 2014..At least in the Northern Hemisphere. 🙂

Awesome treatise!

@Docfenderson said:  “I am a realist and I am above being manipulated into a fantasy scenario wherein I will ultimately be consumed in order to sustain a female.”

I Agree.

 

[Smacktalk73Participant 296]

Very important doc henderson — “females are never expected to behave romantically.”

When was the last time you saw a woman propose to a man on a basketball court, or in some other dramatic way?   Women supposedly “want to get married” but they sure aren’t pursuing guys.

The answer is that having a guy pursue a woman is a big part of the package.  Chasing a guy is NOT the point.  The point is women get stuff for free, get showered with attention and are told how amazing and desirable they are.

It’s funny, I have two young boys.  Before I was a father, the idea of having a son who was gay or transgender was very frighting to me.  I saw it as a reflection on myself and my own fertility/legacy.

But now that I actually have young boys, and care about them, I see what traditional males have to go through in terms of self-sacrifices, and the terrible lack of rewards for males in the whole “marriage and kids” game in the modern world.  And, frankly, if my sons decide to be gay, or want to turn into a woman, screw it.  More power to them.  I sure can’t blame them for actually needing to be WANTED as opposed to have some demanding harpy wanting them to worship/shower gifts and attention on her forever.

[StargazerParticipant 12505]

That’s a pretty bold statement. I like it.

I’ve often thought that it’s a shame I don’t care for having sex with other men because I see a lot less of the typical relationship bulls~~~ in the gay community. Sure, there are some feminized men who are into drama and being treated like queens, but there are a lot more men who are just living well in the company of a friend who they also happen to f~~~.

I’m happy for them. Not so much so for lesbians. You ever watched two lesbians hang out together? Oh man are they not happy… and their part of town is usually a s~~~hole because they don’t invest in themselves or their futures… they just, as the old joke goes, drive around in U-Hauls looking for a place to park their s~~~ for as long as someone else will put up with it.

[Anonymous 5]

I tried using the Quote feature and it does not seem to be working for me. I am on Windows 7/Google Chrome. I am guessing this is a software thing? On other websites, the quote will appear in my reply part, then I can post underneath it. I am not seeing that. I am too lazy to cut/paste.

Anyway. I agree with docfenderson. I am a straight man and I often fantasize just living with another man because it would be so much easier in life. We would understand each other and just do our own thing and be our own person. We have a rare disagreement? Who cares, in an hour we will be drinking beers and forget all about it!

Women on the other hand bitch, moan and bring up the past from 10 years ago as an attack. LOL

I have experimented with men the last couple years because of my hatred for annoying women. I enjoyed the sex with men and don’t regret it, but I prefer vagina because it feels soooo much better. That is why I pay for hookers now.

In my perfect world I would either live alone or with another man, but not married to him or have sex with him…often…lol.

[IronSoldierParticipant 55]

Damn, doc!  Well said!  I dare say purple-patchworthy!

[StargazerParticipant 12505]

Thanks. Ya know, dudes just don’t do it for me. Haven’t even experimented. I mean, I’d maybe make out with Bailey Jay for a half hour or so… I’ve f~~~ed females who were less attractive and more scary than him… but dudes just don’t do it for me.

Even so, the ideal relationship would be with someone who you could talk to and hang with and not have to worry about… and still be hot for. Yeah, I just don’t think that’s in the cards for me.

[harpo-my-“SON”Participant 2410]

amazing doc I agree with iron. worthy of due recognition

I was bound to be misunderstood, and I laugh at those who misunderstand me. Kind mockery at the well intentioned, but unfettered cruelty towards those would be prison guards of my creative possibilities. This so as to learn as much from misunderstanding as from understanding. Taking pleasure in worthy opponents and making language fluid and flowing like a river yet pointed and precise as a dagger. Contradicts the socialistic purpose of language and makes for a wonderful linguistic dance, A verbal martial art with constant parries that hone the weapon that is the two edged sword of my mouth.

[EscapedMentalPatientParticipant 1489]

Well said, well written, and highly valuable information sir.

I have a day off today, and have decided to read through many of the articles and contributions made to this site.

I’m glad I happened upon your insightful article. This is excellent analysis of one of the most flogged concepts which has mired men down in a bog of illogical thinking for a great deal of modern history.

Great stuff Ironsoldier.

[Mrdubbs01Participant 0]

Mr pops 238 you are nasty bro.  Keep that gay s~~~ outta here…

[John DoeParticipant 743]

Romance is a power trip for women.  Do I have to say anymore or explain it? No.  Some truths are self evident.

[Author]

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