The crutches have been removed

[OrangeMan12Participant 71]

Hello all, Im glad I found a family called MGTOW.

In the past couple weeks, I have decided to break away from family and really focus on whats best for me. If you have not read my intro, please click here. I am still currently looking for a place to stay, but until then, keeping family contact to a bare minimum. When I ‘broke’ away from my family, I had a good support system, which consisted of a good buddy of mine that I consider my brother (even better than my blood brother), my girlfriend, my therapist and recently recruited a ADHD coach, but it all came crashing down..well, sort of.. Ive been with my girlfriend for 2 years and it all right, but deep down I knew that she wasn’t for me, but still continue to roll with it because she supported me in my hard times, helped me look for apartments and ironically enough, I loved her… This past weekend we had a huge fight and she basically gave me the finger. She told me to find someone else and that there are “millions of girls out there for you.” When she said that, it literally ripped my heart out. Not only was I feeling hurt, but betrayed. From that day, I’ve decided to end that relationship and not look back. It is very painful to deal with and as much as I would like to go running back to her, deep down I know I’ve made the right decision and these feelings to run back to her are from a position of weakness… I realized that Ive always been walking with two crutches…One from the family and the other from the girlfriend.. I had already broke my parents’ crutch and now I have officially broken hers…At this point, I feel somewhat lost, numb, hurt and dont really know where to turn. Im thinking of going on a weekend cruise leaving next week and perhaps help me clear my mind and be able to reconnect with my inner zen. As my good friend once told me “when you don’t feel normal, do normal things” and I will try and do that.

As much as my girlfriend literally f*cked/hurt me, I would appreciate if we can keep the name calling to a future post when I heal from this. I still love her and look forward to the day I can literally chew her ass to bits, but until then, I want to focus on me and would love to hear you guys.

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life. -Steve Jobs

[Anonymous 14]

OrangeMan12 wrote:

As much as my girlfriend literally f*cked/hurt me, I would appreciate if we can keep the name calling to a future post when I heal from this. I still love her and look forward to the day I can literally chew her ass to bits, but until then, I want to focus on me and would love to hear you guys.

You need to just walk away from that, don’t look back.

[surfdude12Participant 4103]

You’re in the right place, dude. Just remember YOU DO NOT NEED HER TO BE HAPPY. You don’t need ANYONE. Can you be perfectly happy in your own company. Just make sure you keep in contact with friends, this board. Do you have guy friends in your town near you? Give them a call. Go out for drinks and wings. Watch a game. Fill up your schedule. Keep busy. Read all the threads on here , they are fill of GOLD NUGGETS of information.

[OrangeMan12Participant 71]

Easier said than done, but I agree. She has texted me a few times and said all the right things, but despite that, I will remain strong and move on. THE END to that relationship.. Id rather gouge my eyes before I get back with her.

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life. -Steve Jobs

[Anonymous 42]

Anonymous wrote:

don’t look back.

[OrangeMan12Participant 71]

Anonymous wrote:

Joe Bauers wrote:

don’t look back.

<iframe width=”500″ height=”375″ src=”https://www.youtube.com/embed/gwrzggS_630?feature=oembed” frameborder=”0″ allowfullscreen=””></iframe>

Thanks for that. Currently blasting that on my speakers, while I fold my laundry.

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life. -Steve Jobs

[surfdude12Participant 4103]

OrangeMan12 wrote:

Easier said than done, but I agree. She has texted me a few times and said all the right things, but despite that, I will remain strong and move on. THE END to that relationship.. Id rather gouge my eyes before I get back with her.

Dude, we’re in the same boat. My ex texting me today too. I’m ignoring her because like you, I know she’s just saying WHAT WE WANT TO HEAR. Its ALL LIES. THese women DO NOT CHANGE. PERIOD.

[OgreParticipant 5863]

I’d be cautious at the point that you’re at. I read your intro and you place an extreme amount of control in the hands of those around you.

You didn’t say whether or not you are currently living with your family, just that they have kicked you out multiple times in the last six months. You mentioned your ADHD in both your intro and this post, and you mentioned your manipulative Father.

Consider for a second that if your family is giving you a place to live at 27 while you complete your education they are going above and beyond, and you are stuck acting like a belligerent child. At 18 they could have chucked you deuces and told you to f~~~ off. They OWE you nothing at this point, you want to be MGTOW but you live under their umbrella.

Now, with some tough love dispensed let me add this. If you want to finish your studies in security, follow their rules and then truly break away when you can stand alone. My children were thankless assholes while they lived with me, and years later now thank me for the verbal ass kickings I delivered to them as adult children who were taking while never returning even the least respect. They were lucky they were dealing with the version of me that existed then. Today they’d find poverty and homelessness for the way they spoke to me back then.

Your life is a gift, as is every day that you aren’t scraping by just to have a place to sleep and a bit to eat.

You will truly be going your own way when you are FULLY paying your own way.

As for the girlfriend. If you approached her the way you do your landlords, she’ll be just fine.

Nothing but love little brother. Just don’t expect everyone to take your side every time here.

I failed to realize in my youth that I was the prize. I was going to work. I was going to earn. Little did I realize that due to feminism, that no longer meant I had to share. Road soon, Desert after.

[Anonymous 42]

OrangeMan12 wrote:

Thanks for that. Currently blasting that on my speakers, while I fold my laundry.

I’m ripping through the whole album!

[OrangeMan12Participant 71]

Ogre wrote:

I’d be cautious at the point that you’re at. I read your intro and you place an extreme amount of control in the hands of those around you.

You didn’t say whether or not you are currently living with your family, just that they have kicked you out multiple times in the last six months. You mentioned your ADHD in both your intro and this post, and you mentioned your manipulative Father.

Consider for a second that if your family is giving you a place to live at 27 while you complete your education they are going above and beyond, and you are stuck acting like a belligerent child. At 18 they could have chucked you deuces and told you to f~~~ off. They OWE you nothing at this point, you want to be MGTOW but you live under their umbrella.

Now, with some tough love dispensed let me add this. If you want to finish your studies in security, follow their rules and then truly break away when you can stand alone. My children were thankless assholes while they lived with me, and years later now thank me for the verbal ass kickings I delivered to them as adult children who were taking while never returning even the least respect. They were lucky they were dealing with the version of me that existed then. Today they’d find poverty and homelessness for the way they spoke to me back then.

Your life is a gift, as is every day that you aren’t scraping by just to have a place to sleep and a bit to eat.

You will truly be going your own way when you are FULLY paying your own way.

As for the girlfriend. If you approached her the way you do your landlords, she’ll be just fine.

Nothing but love little brother. Just don’t expect everyone to take your side every time here.

Thanks for that. It took some time to realize that I do let people I love have control over me and its something I’m working on. I need to learn to be a bit selfish and do whats best for myself.. and to answer your question about my living situation, yes, I am still living in a vacant apartment above my parents. I am grateful for it, but not worth the constant nagging, and stripping of basic privacy. Again, thanks for that, and there is no hard feelings, brother. Thank you!

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life. -Steve Jobs

[HitmanParticipant]

Take those crutches and BURN them.
Tie your family to one and the c~~~ to the other. ..metaphorically.
Let it burn and walk away.
Visit the ashes of the family in a year or so. .
P~~~ on the ashes of the c~~~.
Stay strong.
Cast iron resolve.
Just do it! !!

[OrangeMan12Participant 71]

surfdude12 wrote:

You’re in the right place, dude. Just remember YOU DO NOT NEED HER TO BE HAPPY. You don’t need ANYONE. Can you be perfectly happy in your own company. Just make sure you keep in contact with friends, this board. Do you have guy friends in your town near you? Give them a call. Go out for drinks and wings. Watch a game. Fill up your schedule. Keep busy. Read all the threads on here , they are fill of GOLD NUGGETS of information.

Agreed. I will keep busy and keep my chin up. Thanks, buddy

surfdude12 wrote:

OrangeMan12 wrote:

Easier said than done, but I agree. She has texted me a few times and said all the right things, but despite that, I will remain strong and move on. THE END to that relationship.. Id rather gouge my eyes before I get back with her.

Dude, we’re in the same boat. My ex texting me today too. I’m ignoring her because like you, I know she’s just saying WHAT WE WANT TO HEAR. Its ALL LIES. THese women DO NOT CHANGE. PERIOD.

Keep your head up and stay strong. Don’t give her what she wants. The ball is in your court and the minute you text her back, it’ll be in hers. The ball is to always remain in a MANS court.

Hitman wrote:

Take those crutches and BURN them.
Tie your family to one and the c~~~ to the other. ..metaphorically.
Let it burn and walk away.
Visit the ashes of the family in a year or so. .
P~~~ on the ashes of the c~~~.
Stay strong.
Cast iron resolve.
Just do it! !!

Thanks, man. I will try just that. I know, with time, I will look back and know that this tough decision made me who I will be/am when I get through this.

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life. -Steve Jobs

[sidecarParticipant 35837]

OrangeMan12 wrote:

She has texted me a few times and said all the right things

Talk is cheap. She has no intention of living up to actually being all the right things.

Deeds not words.

Send her a for real message that will last the rest of her life: Dump that bitch. Permanently.

[Anonymous 18]

OrangeMan12 wrote:

It is very painful to deal with and as much as I would like to go running back to her, deep down I know I’ve made the right decision and these feelings to run back to her are from a position of weakness…

You have made the right decision because it is the most difficult choice a man ‘in love’ will ever have to make.

Cucks aren’t born. They are made. By women. For women.

Congratulations on your freedom. And accept this pain. It’s a fire that will not die, nor should you aim to extinguish it.

You are a better man for making the decision knowing full well it’s easier to run back to her. Never do that.

Respect yourself.

[Anonymous 12]

Ohboy what de fack
and
Holycow

You seem to have done in one week what i honestly did not expect to happen for another year – probably because i myself would have stayed home for finance reasons, because i would have been scared to jump out of the bird´s nest.

Projection and all that, yea i am guilty.

And now your crutches have broken / have been removed, at least part of them.
Ohboy that would scare the s~~~ out of me. No kidding. You got b~~~~, man.

Here is to you keeping the basics of your life on track – the stuff that gives you your independence and keeps ou out of the gutter:
education and work performance.
progress and financial independence.

Keep Calm and don´t F~~~ up.

thumbs up!

[OrangeMan12Participant 71]

Anonymous wrote:

Ohboy what de fack
and
Holycow

You seem to have done in one week what i honestly did not expect to happen for another year – probably because i myself would have stayed home for finance reasons, because i would have been scared to jump out of the bird´s nest.

Projection and all that, yea i am guilty.

And now your crutches have broken / have been removed, at least part of them.
Ohboy that would scare the s~~~ out of me. No kidding. You got b~~~~, man.

Here is to you keeping the basics of your life on track – the stuff that gives you your independence and keeps ou out of the gutter:
education and work performance.
progress and financial independence.

Keep Calm and don´t F~~~ up.

thumbs up!

Thank you for sharing. Id be lying if I said I’m not scared and feel a bit lonely, but I will keep myself busy and continue to push through. I want to look back at this event a year from now and pat my back for a job well done. Until then, I will focus on my studies, my well-being and keep up the progress no matter the pace. Enjoy the weather and beautiful weekend to come!

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life. -Steve Jobs

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