Staying with abusive single mom-Please Help

[MGTOW@50Participant 225]

I read your posts and all replies. Let’s go back to your initial question…

Shaka Zulu wrote:

Can anyone offer me advice on dealing with abusive single moms when ur my age and moving out is not an easy viable option?

You have received great advice from many MEN here. You’d be wise to listen to it.

LEAVE YOUR MOTHER’S HOUSE IMMEDIATELY

All of your excuses are tiring and nothing more than you taking NO responsibility for YOUR life.

All this bulls~~~ about single mothers. You’re a crybaby and you’re using this as an excuse to remain a CHILD. NO? What is a child? A person dependent on his parents, not accountable for his actions, not mature enough to take care of himself. That’s YOU.

Hey pal, you might see this as abuse from your mother but she is only trying to make you into a man. She’s not done a very good job of it, but that is what she wants.

I think you will not heed any of this good advice. You will remain a dependent CHILD until she dies.

“Fortune favors the BOLD”

“He who will not risk, will NOT win”

[OldBillParticipant]

Shaka Zulu wrote:

Im aware that the cabin crew biz is 85% female, of the remaining 15% males, 10% are f~~~~~s and the remainder 5% is straight dudes like me.

I wasn’t talking about your co-workers. I was talking about the passengers.

You couldn’t even handle working with women so what the hell do you think is going to happen when the bossy fat c~~~ in Seat 15B demands you get her another pillow, a can of soda, some more peanuts, or something else?

You’re setting yourself up to fail, just as you’ve done your entire life.

Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.

[MerlinParticipant 136]

Shaka Zulu wrote:

Im 30, staying with my 60 year old mother…

Dude, there is no nice way to put this. You deserve what you are getting. I was in a marriage where I had a 30+ year old son insisting on living with my wife and I, and it destroyed my marriage as I was bankrolling his living expenses.

I left my parents nest when I was 18 years old, and moved to another part of the country and toughed it out through hard economic times, but I survived and never looked back. Leave the nest. Jump brother. You are going to fall, and it might be hard at first, but the wind will eventually catch under your wings.

[anonymousyamParticipant 4605]

I honestly just do not know enough about the South African situation to help you without further information.

Can you just get some s~~~ job and move the f~~~ out in South Africa without dying? is being homeless in South Africa a death sentence? Is South Africa killed by feminism due to the White settlers imparting their cuckolded values onto it? (like does the son being you have any legal power and control over the mother due to being a man kind of like Islamic countries or were you f~~~ed up by the west?).

Either way get a s~~~ job that will pay just enough to survive and move the f~~~ out in spirit of what OldBill has stated.

Just an east coast asshole who likes to curse, If you get offended by words like fuck, cunt, shit, piss, bitch or any racial slurs then you just scroll down.

[ShruggerParticipant 10]

If you absolutely want to live there to freeload of her you need to use some coping strategies and realize that the price you pay is to deal with her.

Share as little as possible with her. The more you share the more ammo she has. If you are on a high due to a recent project idea or deal, do not share it with her. She will drain the positivity out of your vanes by being critical just for the sake of putting you down. Women do not respect the entrepreneurial spirit until said entrepreneur is successful.

Try to avoid her as much as possible and create your private space. If you have people over go to your room and lock it. If she comes knocking tell her you’re busy. Also, tell your friends not to be elaborate when she tries to converse with them. Cut their conversations short by saying: “Let’s go to my room/basement/whatever”. Also try to go to your friends instead of bringing them home or go meet your friends at public places.

If she demands you eat with her, you eat with her, but keep the conversation shallow. Do not explain yourself or make any excuses for your ambitions. Never ask her what she thinks of anything and do not outer any opinions. Talk about mundane stuff, like the weather, that the food is good and ask her about her s~~~, like how her day was and stuff. Do not give any opinions, just say you understand her frustrations and s~~~.

If she nags you about something around the house, or ask you to do a certain thing the exact same way she does it, just do it. It’s her house and her rules. It’s the price you pay to live there and you need to realize that.

Deep down inside she may be afraid that you succeed and get the resources to get by on your own, as she will be lonely if you move. She may be trying to destroy your friendships and potential female relationships, because they will make you stronger and more independent. For example, if you fall in love you will probably work harder to get out of her house etc. Good friends also inspire action and self esteem, so she may try to destroy friendships too.

If she is determined to get you fired up about something, ask her out loud: “Are you trying to start a fight? If you are, I won’t be participating so have a nice day”, then walk away and do something to put you in a positive mood.

You can also start writing a little diary about your interactions with her to see if there are any patterns to her behavior. If you find patterns, be aware of them and learn how to handle them.

Good luck!

[CthulhuParticipant 698]

Don’t let her break your frame. Don’t get violent, don’t respond. Be cool. Don’t let her claim to be your victim. She has power because you give it to her. Stop. Realize that if you walked out of her house, you’d have more than when you were in it. Dignity. She’ll always be your mother, but that doesn’t mean you have to deal with the s~~~ she puts you through. Remember her and see all women through that lens.

Why vote for a lesser evil? #ICETHEMOUT

[MasterAnglerParticipant 42]

I left home at 24 not because I was lazy punk or anything but because my mother and father were so abusive that I was kinda stuck. The constant barrage of insults and put down wore me to nearly nothing. They had me working as a full time assistant for them. I was going to college and doing everything for my alcoholic parents.It wasn’t like I was watching tv all day and not doing anything.I didn’t get a whole lot of sleep because they would wake me up with literal lists of things to do. Yes, I know I should of been on my own but you have to understand how suffocating parents can be. They had me convinced that I was worthless, stupid and lazy. They also sold me on the fact that any apt that I could afford was too low class or dangerous.Then I came home to a letter one day after finals about how I was being thrown out. The only offer was for me to live with my golden child brother who wanted me to pay half his crazy high rent to sleep on the sofa. Your mom will abuse you , micro manage you then eventually toss you out. The best advise I can give you is. Come up with a plan to get the fuk out. Play it cool with your mom and horde money then one day disappear.Slowly climb up from the ashes.I moved across state with $160 to my name after doing everything for my mom and dad just to be tossed out like yesterdays garbage. I came to the realization that I have never pleased mom and dad and I never will. Once you become your own boss you will learn what life can be…and its good!

[Wildwalker57Participant 107]

Advice:
1) Stay out of the house. Go anywhere else. Library, coffee shops, anywhere. Go be productive somewhere else and spend as little time there as possible. This may require taking on new activities. Find productive ones that will improve you and take on the challenge. There are a million things to do in the world. Go do new things, make new friends, grow!

2) Stop bringing friends and girlfriends by your house (repeat)

3) Understand inside yourself she is a broken human being. I mean this as something inside yourself- not for her ears. Stop giving her power to belittle you. This is a choice you’re making to indulge her drama. Stop expecting her to treat you like her child at all. The reason you’re upset is based on your expectations. Stop the expectations.

4) Build a wall inside yourself, keep all your opinions, all your love, all the things you care about, all your self-esteem, all your happys and sads there. Keep the wall up always around her. NEVER let it down. Never. She can only hurt and manipulate you, if you allow her to. Understand you have that power, not her. That doesn’t mean you treat her badly. Just don’t react emotionally to her. Stop giving her that power.

5) Treat your mother cordially. She is your mother and has been supporting you. Don’t react to her emotionally, ever. EVER!

6) Stay away, a lot. If you do all these things, you will see she will gradually start to come around.

7) Move out ASAP!

You’ll find when you eventually leave, your relationship will improve, and she’ll be chasing you instead of belittling you. It will be all smiles and good words when you come around. You have to stop giving her power over you and stop giving her the means to belittle you. You being there, bringing people over, etc is just setting yourself up. Stop giving her the power to belittle you. Erase your expectations for her behavior. Make yourself busy, productive, learn new things, and keep growing whatever you are doing to try and make money and get the hell out of there. Good luck!

"It's a trap!" Admiral Ackbar.

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