Some Advice Needed. Newly Realised MGTOW.

[Into The WildParticipant 28]

Hey Guys,

Looking for some advice.

Now I am just going to start off saying two things.

A.I am very young (21) so I understand that the issues I have are NOWHERE near of those I have read about. I feel truly disgusted hearing what some of you guys have been put through by those you tried to care about.

and this is my first time having even found this site and knew it is what I need because:

B. I am exactly the kind of exploited man that I wish I wasn’t. I wish I hadn’t been so stupid.

I have suddenly come to the realisation that I need to go my own way. Women cannot and will not put up with ANY negative emotions that I put up with for them, no matter how puppy-dogged I have been in the past and no matter how good I have “performed” in bed or on another social scale. This is a tale of two woes (I will not post their names of course, simply A and B)

1. A. I am an aspiring actor who moved down to London and out of home for the first time. I had been with my girl for a year and a bit. Now first love and all that we got on like a house on fire, but a month or two into my course that I was struggling with, in a whole new city and world she left saying she could not be the “emotional support” I required as I wanted someone to SOMETIMES appreciate and be there like I was for them. She openly admitted into wanting to “explore other people”…..My renewed theory on this was as she was a silly little girl and I a silly little boy (still am), I was the best actor at school and that it was impressive for her socially to be with me. As soon as I no longer provided that it was “thanks and f~~~ off”

2.B. Flash forward 2 years later. I was getting on just fine by myself until I started noticing that I was very attracted to this other girl. Now what I am about to say is a dick move actually, but this girl was the older sister of a guy I know well. (Now I know that’s bad omens from the start, but we got on very very well- I have made my mistakes and God did they get me good so any thoughts on that aspect will certainly be preaching to the choir here lads. He was okay with it incidentally) Anyway, I spent a WHOLE YEAR trying to get to be with this woman and I thought she was LOVELY, KIND, WARM, HOMELY, SECURE and pretty HOT as well. Eventually I succeeded despite all the obstacles in the way (She was 5 years older than me too) and of course I felt like a G.

Now I am back in my misery again, 3 months later after carting her around in my beautiful classic car in the early hours to get to work, always being there to call, buying her really nice things for her birthday etc etc I am back where I was after the first girl: “she could not support my emotions”. I know that sounds pretty dumb for me to have made the same mistake twice but let me explain: On our third month to the day we went for a walk and she told me flat to my face “this won’t work out because you aren’t ambitious enough”….I got sad at this, not angry as I have never been unkind to a woman and this was the response I got “I thought that you’d take this like a man not a boy”….Now for a guy at age 21, this is a HORRIBLE thing to hear. I thought about it for a week and as she seemed to be ignoring my messages I called her, wanting to straighten things up. I put my cards on the table saying that I needed more from her that I was trying so hard to make this work and I didn’t feel I got that back. I stepped up. I called her out. She said she couldn’t support my emotions. I was let go. I was devastated.

NOW WHAT I AM ASKING FOR HERE IS GUYS, HOW DO I GET OVER THIS FEELING THAT I HAVE BEEN IMPLANTED WITH THAT I MUST NEED SOMEONE? LAST TIME WHEN I BROKE UP WITH THE FIRST GIRL I GOT THERE, BUT IT FEELS HARDER THIS TIME AS I CAN NOW SEE THAT YOU ALL ARE RIGHT; I DONT THINK I CAN FIND ANYONE WHO WILL GIVE ME THE SUPPORT I GIVE THEM. I NEED TO GO MY OWN WAY. MY QUESTION IS: HOW? ANY TIPS ON AVOIDING BEING BURNT AND BRUTALISED AGAIN?

REGARDS,

CF

[DorkShitParticipant 4353]

Into The Wild wrote:

ANY TIPS ON AVOIDING BEING BURNT AND BRUTALISED AGAIN?

You sound very young as well. You haven’t yet begun to get brutalized. Realizing that you can is a start.

Answer to your question is only you can make that happen. You are responsible for you.

All we can do is advise.
My advice is to read and observe. Learn to see what is going to happen before it happens. Then you might avoid being brutalized.

I was brutalized. I understood going in and still failed. Power of the P. At the end of the day you are your problem or not. You create where you are and will be.

You can only choose between peace and serenity or a living hell.

If you are a man, choose well.

Peace brothers

[joetechParticipant]

First off, welcome! You live in London, huh? I’ve read all kinds of horror stories out of England. Look at what happened to John Cleese. If a guy who can afford a good attorney can’t get a fair shake, what makes you think you will. Think about that with these feelings you’re having. I suggest you visit the forums on relations~~~s and philosophy. My advice to all young men
1) Get a vasectomy. It’s the only reproductive right you have in the world. You’ll still be able to have sex, you’ll just be shooting blanks. And don’t let anyone know.
2)Do not co-habitate.
I know the feelings of loneliness all too well. Choose your friends wisely and you’ll learn to be by yourself without feeling lonely. And you won’t be. You’ll surround yourself with people who care about you, and your small circle of friends will keep you happy. Only you can decide how to feel. It’s not up to the rest of the world, and you owe the world nothing.

"Don't follow in my footsteps...I stepped in something."

[Veritech AceParticipant 699]

First and foremost what you need to do is understand yourself. Understand that you have been programmed biologically and by 2 decades of social conditioning to seek female validation.

I’d recommend taking a few MBTI (Myers-Briggs Type Indicator) personality tests to give you an understanding of how you react to your inner and outer world. I’m guess based on what you said in your post that you’re probably an ESFP type, but it’s a raw guess and I can be totally off the mark.

Just remember that MBTI online tests are wildly inaccurate, and you’ll only be able to identify actual your type through self reflection, and through understanding the MBTI functions. Its that self reflection that will give you insights into why you may be emotionally needy. I’d say, take a few of those tests (there are literally hundreds online), and be brutally honest with yourself as you can be when answering. Once you get an idea of your personality type, then I highly recommend watching the videos on Michael Pierce’s youtube channel as they are the best I’ve found that explain MBTI, and Jungian theory.

Knowledge is power, and if you want the power to control yourself, then first you’ll have to understand yourself. Also, I’m willing to bet that understating MBTI will help you in your acting career.

[Buller100Participant 2189]

You feel you need someone as its programming , I never had it young but after being with a person for a while even if you dislike them being alone is not nice at first…

I would say concentrate on your work, women will never support a man emotionally as they are in the relationship for what they can benefit from.

If you are successful in your career you will be beating them away with a stick, enjoy the quiet, learn read focus on your work…

Look how many actors get married umpteen times , successful sportsman don’t , as they are usually finished by 35 so the wife runs off.

Many actors 3 or 4 wives…

When you meet the next one , don’t dump any emotional stuff on here get her to cook , clean and f~~~ and keep away a few days a week, don’t have children.

They will be eying you as massive potential, actors eaen little or bundles I am led to believe …

Use them when you want, like a toilet then throw them away ..

[Truthseeker82Participant 6406]

Welcome. As others have said, you must learn yourself first. Your biological make up
coupled with youth is driving you now. Learn to deflect those urges and channel into something positive.
Read the tales f older men like myself. The financial and emotional ruin after their children, homes, money have all been taken from them. Keep that in mind. If you must have sex, play it very safe.

[AmongstMenParticipant 129]

Veritech that’s spot on. I’d assume esfp too or isfp.

Cray Fish if I were you, I’d learn/train myself to separate my career from the romantic fantasy of finding your significant other. Working or engaging in any craft that requires artistic expression is typically associated with running into your “soulmate” (disgusting word).

Acting, singing, dancing, etc. It’s very easy to follow this fantasy that you’re going to run into someone who’s gonna be your everything and you’re both going to make it to the top together doing what you love. Let go of that. Any girl who is, is just piggy backing on you to go to the bigger better deal. All of them are like this. I seen it first hand. They’re poisonous especially in entertainment industry and will only sidetrack you in the long term. I came to this conclusion myself through dance industry.

Read up on forums, look up MGTOW YouTube channels, keep all the awareness/knowledge/wisdom at the forefront of your thinking/being. Get a little angry about it. Transcend that anger. Your feelings of needing someone will eventually dissipate. As a person cultivating himself in the expressive arts, it’ll be the best thing you’ve ever done for yourself. You’ll be seeing and approaching your craft from a higher plane of consciousness/awareness. Go the Leonardo Dicaprio route. You’ll be golden. Welcome to MGTOW, brother!

[The Manipulated ManParticipant 1856]

Greetings CF,

It was a pleasure to read your introduction.

A good friend of mine is a poet and I learned some cool things about presenting words in a way that is appealing to the eye and easy on the brain. In my personal/ career writing and some of my posts here on MGTOW, I like to apply some of those methods. Communicating by written word is a wonderful thing.

It is great to see someone else apply those principles in their writing. And it is encouraging when a 21 years old has demonstrated good skills with presenting his thoughts and wishes to others.

Into The Wild wrote:

ANY TIPS ON AVOIDING BEING BURNT AND BRUTALISED AGAIN?

You have struck gold by introducing yourself, reaching out, and signing up here at MGTOW.

Learning the hard way can be a thing of the past when you endeavor to study from other men who have real world experience/ wisdom. There is a wealth of knowledge in the Archives and Forums. There are plenty of men willing to walk with you down your “MGTOW road.”

For the past year, I have been writing in the Forums about your questions in posts and replies, some with long discussion threads by other MGTOWs. After signing in to MGTOW, you can read them all by finding my MGTOW Profile and clicking onto the Forum button on my profile page. Feel free to ask any questions and/ or make comments in these posts by writing within the reply box provided.

My fellow MGTOWs have created brilliant Posts, replies, and audio/ video recordings which also address your concerns. Some are better than other, but they are all priceless. We have all been there and we face the same great enemy as you. We are the foundation of real Civilization and the “Engine of the World.”
You are in good company.

If there are any particular MGTOWs whose writing style and knowledge resonates with you, it is possible to follow them and read every one of their posts/ replies.

Into The Wild wrote:

HOW DO I GET OVER THIS FEELING THAT I HAVE BEEN IMPLANTED WITH THAT I MUST NEED SOMEONE?

As you explore the MGTOW gold mine you will find numerous tried and true approaches to solving your problems. The Introductions are filled with men asking similar questions. You are welcome to jump in and join the discussions.

Your voice and the story of your journey is valuable to us. And it is important for your healing process to get it written down.

My advice is to be patient with yourself and the Red Pill process.

Warning: It does f~~~ with your head when you attempt to discard Blue Pill programming.

What happens when a man finally comprehends the cold and calculating thoughts that are going through a woman's mind, while her eyes are brimming with tears?

[The Manipulated ManParticipant 1856]

Laughing at yourself and your problems is good therapy. Most MGTOWs are hilarious.

Here are some fun YouTube pages that discuss MGTOW stuff:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbgzmK-mfpjULHZ8SMCuhdg

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWcbn1OURjNxx8kr4FJ4Y-w

https://www.youtube.com/user/SandmanMGTOW/featured

The following Scotsman’s attacks on Feminism cracks me up. He is NOT a fan of MGTOW, but I like most of what he says. And I am willing to forgive his mistakes because of all of the laughs he provides:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBVYmXSIzHq_gXMZpsfd9kg

What happens when a man finally comprehends the cold and calculating thoughts that are going through a woman's mind, while her eyes are brimming with tears?

[Into The WildParticipant 28]

Thanks all for the very welcoming responses. Must be said I am just getting to realise that this is what I am thinking now and you have all been very very welcoming to me, which has made me feel 100 times better knowing that there are people out there. I am just working out the site right now so I don’t quite know how to quote people on what they have said, but you have all of you said very re-assuring and welcoming things. As “The Manipulated Man” said I do feel like I have “struck gold” by finding this place to see what other MGTOW’s have gone through so I can learn how to go about things in the future. I will keep coming back to this thread and seeing what I and others have posted if I start to waver on this course that I feel I must take to learn about myself: just to remind myself. I will try to “go the Leonardo DiCaprio route” as you say “AmongstMen” and separate career and personal life. For now though I will go through this gold mine for a while and try to understand myself. Many thanks to all of you! I am glad to be where there are people who see many of the things I see.

[Biggvs_DickvsParticipant 3725]

Into The Wild wrote:

it was impressive for her socially to be with me. As soon as I no longer provided that it was “thanks and f~~~ off”

You are wise beyond your years to pick up on that.

Into The Wild wrote:

I spent a WHOLE YEAR trying to get to be with this woman

And there’s your problem right there. When women really like a guy, they’re f~~~ing them within the first day or so. Any chick that after a year of knowing you (even as just an aquaintance) ends up f~~~ing you, only sees you as what we like to call a “beta provider.” This is evidenced by the fact that she dumped you when you didn’t live up to her “provisional” expectations (not ambitious enough).

Into The Wild wrote:

but let me explain

No need. Most guys here understand EXACTLY what is happening here.

Into The Wild wrote:

I DONT THINK I CAN FIND ANYONE WHO WILL GIVE ME THE SUPPORT I GIVE THEM

Your first MGTOW lesson is this: YOU DON’T NEED SUPPORT FROM ANYONE.

Especially from a woman that your f~~~ing who, despite all the bulls~~~ about “unconditional love,” will nonetheless have conditions. The unconditional love bulls~~~ is just a little lie they tell themselves to alleviate the guilt from leaving you later on. That way they can believe that they went in to it with only the best intentions and somehow it just didn’t work out.

And of course by “somehow” I mean that it was all your fault.

Welcome to MGTOW. All we have to offer is the unvarnished truth.

The good news is, that eventually you learn to see women’s behaviour for the base animal instinct that it is and stop taking it personally. Then you can avoid the hazards like you would avoid any dangerous animal, and without getting emotionally involved.

I think one of the most important changes you can work on is to stop basing your self worth on the hotness of the woman your with. That was a big one for me since I was raised by an abusive mother.

Every time a woman hurt me in some way, I felt like I was getting hit by my mom all over again. Whenever a hot girl made me feel good about myself, I was on top of the world.

I don’t know if that applies to you directly, but I think almost any guy can relate to the self-esteem boost you get from having a pretty girl on your arm, and then how s~~~ty you feel when she eventually goes off and f~~~s some guy named Chad.

Just realize that all that s~~~ is just an illusion designed to control you, and once you learn to see past it, you become the one in control.

It’s really and I mean REALLY hard to truly internalize and make that part of your being at your age, but if you can manage it, there’s real power there. Keep hanging around here – the information and wisdom here will really help with this.

"Data, I would be delighted to offer any advice I can on understanding women. When I have some, I'll let you know." --Captain Picard,

[Biggvs_DickvsParticipant 3725]

Into The Wild wrote:

I am just working out the site right now so I don’t quite know how to quote people on what they have said,

Just highlight it with your mouse and then click the “quote” button above. Go ahead – try it now.

"Data, I would be delighted to offer any advice I can on understanding women. When I have some, I'll let you know." --Captain Picard,

[The SavedParticipant 101]

Into The Wild wrote:

…I have made my mistakes and God did they get me…

…I know that sounds pretty dumb for me to have made the same mistake twice but let me explain…

Stop being so hard on yourself.
There is no rulebook, so how are there any ‘mistakes’?

Welcome to the forum 😉

"A man's feelings are inconvenient to a woman's needs".

[Into The WildParticipant 28]

Biggvs_Dickvs wrote:

Your first MGTOW lesson is this: YOU DON’T NEED SUPPORT FROM ANYONE.

Apparently I do need technical support though! Thanks, got it going; will go off to explore the rest of the site and all the community has to offer.

Could you also explain what a “beta provider” is?

[TuneoutParticipant]

Into The Wild wrote:

Could you also explain what a “beta provider” is?

Welcome brother and that is something you don’t want to
be because they are the ones who need a woman and marry
her thus providing while she goes out and f~~~s an Alpha

Lifes a bitch,but you don't have to marry one!

[Biggvs_DickvsParticipant 3725]

Yes. What Tuneout said.

We often use the terms “Alpha” and “Beta” to refer to the two relative categories of men from a sexual/dating perspective. Doubtless you’ve seen women take home and f~~~ the guy with the neck tattoo and felony record they just met that night in the club or wherever. That would be an Alpha.

The guy that hangs around for a year being her “friend” and hoping to eventually get to f~~~ her after taking her on multiple expensive dates, demonstrating his utter devotion to her, is a Beta male or Beta orbiter.

The Alpha guy, lets call him “Chad,” didn’t have to do any of that to get to f~~~ her. It’s one of the more infuriating aspects of “red pill rage,” at least for me personally.

Still upsets me a little sometimes when I think about it, and bear in mind I’ve been BOTH Chad and the other guy at different times/places in my life.

You ever been on a date with a girl and she stops to take a phone call or txt someone? The excuse is always somthing like “oh that’s just a friend of mine” or something. The reality is, that was me on the other end telling her “whenever you’re done, head over to my place and we’ll play hide the salami.”

Later, once she’s done letting the beta pay for her dinner and feed her ego, there’s a knock on my door…..

"Data, I would be delighted to offer any advice I can on understanding women. When I have some, I'll let you know." --Captain Picard,

[TaxGuyParticipant]

Biggvs_Dickvs wrote:

You ever been on a date with a girl and she stops to take a phone call or txt someone? The excuse is always somthing like “oh that’s just a friend of mine” or something

The key word there is JUST. I am not “just” friends with my friends, we’re friends. JUST tells you that someone wants to f~~~ someone but the other one isn’t letting it happen, YET.

That or they are flat out lying, which is probably the more likely case.

“Just friends” is a HUGE tell.

Order the good wine

[Veritech AceParticipant 699]

Biggvs_Dickvs wrote:

The Alpha guy, lets call him “Chad,” didn’t have to do any of that to get to f~~~ her. It’s one of the more infuriating aspects of “red pill rage,” at least for me personally.

Do you call him “Chad” because he’s always “hanging around”?

[Anonymous 0]

Into The Wild wrote:

[…] Anyway, I spent a WHOLE YEAR trying to get to be with this woman and I thought she was LOVELY, KIND, WARM, HOMELY, SECURE and pretty HOT as well. Eventually I succeeded despite all the obstacles in the way (She was 5 years older than me too) and of course I felt like a G. […]

If you want to nail the hot chick, then you court her for a few weeks, a couple months, a year. Eventually she gives in. But then you have to continue courting her forever, because she probably wasn’t all that attracted to you in the first place and only warmed up to you because you treated her like a queen. To keep her, you have to continue treating her like a queen. The second you let up, or take her presence for granted, or make any reciprocal demands for decent treatment in return, she’ll dump you. She’s just with you to be treated like a queen. She’s not with you to provide you anything in return.

If you want decent treatment from a woman, then hook up with women who will court YOU. Basically, that’s the PUA (pick-up artist) route. The trouble with the PUA route is that you tend to get tired of the girls quickly. The second they’re not treating YOU like a king, you want to dump them.

And that’s when you REALLY start getting tired of the whole game. You see it’s all just programming and it’s all just people taking advantage of each other. That’s when you really start thinking about going MGTOW. And you LIKE it when you do.

[Anonymous 24]

All solid advice here. I can only say do what is best for you. The sooner you learn that in life the easier it is going to be. Do not chase tail if it causes you stress/drama/danger/loss of money. Walk away from that s~~~. Do not marry, do not have kids, and as Joetech said, do NOT co-habitate.

[Author]

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