Sins of the Father

[MonkParticipant 17042]

PainfulTruth wrote:

… about 3 years ago she threatened to leave for seemingly incomprehensible reasons (“didn’t feel appreciated”).

This suggests that divorce is on the cards. She is constructing a narrative that will enable her to walk and to then blame everyone else.

As other posters have pointed out, they often funnel funds out, so it’s time to start paying more attention there.

Ironically, whilst your father will probably go into denial when presented with evidence of her cheating, showing that she is skimming may actually prove to be a more effective trigger.

[wyrParticipant 591]

Welcome brother, whatever you decide to do, I hope it works out!

Self-improvement is my religion. Sovereignty is my god.

[PainfulTruthParticipant 20]

@cu Chulainn – Thank you!

@haole – I regret the situation you’re in as well but it’s good to hear from one on your side of the equation. In time, they will see how your wife might talk smack about you, and how you are able to exhibit restraint, and will likely prefer you. Even if I thought my Dad did terrible things, or whatever, I’d still want to talk to him eventually. Additionally, I think you’re right in that speaking with them individually is the way to go.

I intend to speak with my Dad first to see how he reacts, and then ask questions of my Mom. No progress as of yet on the presentation as I just got back from a work trip, but my timeline is accelerated by a job offer my Dad received that would take him and the family out of state. I expect to be able to present to him no earlier than this weekend and no later than the last weekend in August.

@monk – I agree with you, and an earlier (non-presentation) conversation with my Dad revealed as much, though he put it in different words. Also agreed on the narrative point. Ironically, my grandmother on my Mom’s side also sees the unhealthy dynamic between them and my speaking with her revealed that she feels sorry for my Dad, and despite her conversations with my Mom on the subject she doesn’t buy her narrative at all. Neither her other children (as evidenced by their general dissatisfaction with family affairs, though they cannot point to a cause) nor her Mom are convinced, but I am sure with some tears and our current system a court would agree.

The fact that she’s expressing dissatisfaction with my Dad to her Mom likely indicates that she’s trying to find support among her friends as well, possibly to internally justify cheating and screwing Dad over in court. Of course I don’t want to assume that about her, particularly because I don’t want our conversation to turn hostile, but it seems like that might be where it’s going.

@wyr – Thanks for your support, man!

Presentation Edits:
I will add a “notice what may be going on with bank statements and where money is going on cosigned accounts” to the presentation. Thanks for letting me know, Monk; if it’s happening that might help jolt him to reality.

[Author]

Posts