She tested me, she failed!

[XSDBSParticipant 3598]

Dr. Hammer wrote:

I have an ex that texts me every 4-6 months, just “to keep in contact”.

Ex 101:
NO CONTACT OR COMMUNICATION..OF ANY KIND..EVER..

I still get e-mails, texts, voice-mails, and even LETTERS from ex girlfriends from YEARS ago…
I don’t open/read them, they go directly into the trash.

I don’t have facebook/twitter/instagram/etc, so online media contact/communication is a non-issue.

[Terminus EstParticipant 145]

The reason she contacts you every 4-5 months is because that’s when her current relationship has ended or is in difficulty.

She then contacts you for a shot of reaffirmation that someone (you) still cares and validates her when her current dude does not.

Stop validating her by showing that you still care by being angry at her. If you talk to her at all, it will be as someone who has no negative emotion over the break up. None at all. Treat in a friendly manner but like some girl you are not interested in and stop letting her get any rise out of you whatsoever.

Do that, and you will actually be slapping her down hard.

[Terminus EstParticipant 145]

“Why can’t we be friends?
Because you’re a cheater, and I don’t like to associate with people like that. Don’t take it personally”.

The correct answer would be a cheerful “We can totally be friends!”, devoid of any interest in talking about the former emotional connection.

[hdvrodParticipant 1109]

A good response to her text would be;

“I bought a pound of roast beef today and I thought of you”.

You won’t hear from her again.

Anyway communication, real open communication, is not wanted or even required in a relationship. Women cannot handle fully open and honest communication, plus most perceive it as a weakness on the part of a man. All that is required is catering to her whims, and even then nothing is certain. There is no way to be sure of having a successful relationshit with a woman. MGTaoist

[FrostByteParticipant 19005]

Terminus Est wrote:

The reason she contacts you every 4-5 months is because that’s when her current relationship has ended or is in difficulty.

She then contacts you for a shot of reaffirmation that someone (you) still cares and validates her when her current dude does not.

Stop validating her by showing that you still care by being angry at her. If you talk to her at all, it will be as someone who has no negative emotion over the break up. None at all. Treat in a friendly manner but like some girl you are not interested in and stop letting her get any rise out of you whatsoever.

Do that, and you will actually be slapping her down hard.

A lawyer once told me, “as long as you’re screaming at each other you’re communicating, and if you’re communicating you are negotiating”. When you’re not talking at all is when it ends, anything less and you’re still in the game.

If you rescue a damsel in distress, all you will get is a distressed damsel.

[sidecarParticipant 35837]

Most of these replies, including the ones rejecting her, show her that she still has some form of influence. That’s all that she really wants.

Why give it to her?

: “I just need to know that you’re there.”
: “Who is this? Do I know you?”
: “It’s me, silly!”
: “Tanya? Is this a new phone? Why are you texting me from the kitchen instead of coming back to the bedroom?”

That’ll f~~~ with her. Use a different woman’s name if hers actually is Tanya.

[OldBillParticipant]

Dr. Hammer wrote:

… which will give me another chance to slap her down.

Slap down? Please. More like playing the dancing monkey for her entertainment.

You’ve been mindlessly giving her the drama all women crave every time she text you a few words. Congratulations. She’s the organ grinder and you’re the monkey with the tin cup. Dance, monkey, dance.

Reclaim your personal sovereignty and block her now. Don’t wait for a new number or cell contract. Do it now.

Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.

[SamsquanchParticipant 4226]

Terminus Est wrote:

The reason she contacts you every 4-5 months is because that’s when her current relationship has ended or is in difficulty.

She then contacts you for a shot of reaffirmation that someone (you) still cares and validates her when her current dude does not.

Stop validating her by showing that you still care by being angry at her. If you talk to her at all, it will be as someone who has no negative emotion over the break up. None at all. Treat in a friendly manner but like some girl you are not interested in and stop letting her get any rise out of you whatsoever.

Do that, and you will actually be slapping her down hard.

Terminus is exactly right. You’re an orbitor now in her eyes. Once she breaks up with a chad after a few months, she hits you up. Same exact situation happened with me once while in my Chad phase.
Broke up with a girl and she was in her orbitor’s arms within a few hours.

Their behavior is so predictable now I feel like David Attenborough, narrating their behavior in my head as I watch them go through life with their noses in their phones.

[FrostByteParticipant 19005]

OldBill wrote:

You’ve been mindlessly giving her the drama all women crave every time she text you a few words. Congratulations. She’s the organ grinder and you’re the monkey with the tin cup. Dance, monkey, dance.

Ol’ Bill is right. The best way to get something is to make them think is was their idea. She’s got you thinking this is your idea while she plays you.

If you rescue a damsel in distress, all you will get is a distressed damsel.

[Author]

Posts