Separated Fathers – My Update

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

Hello all,

I’m starting this new topic in order to put a week of heavy emotions and bad vibes behind me. This here link is where I left off:

In a bad space right now. REALLY BAD!

Firstly, I’m feeling better now, and here’s the reason: my ex has effectively killed any possible chance at me ever taking her seriously when it will come to things she will want my authorisation for (I still maintain Parental Authority, which you guys know is only a title with barely any clout for a father, but still). Thankfully, my older son sees how disrespectful his mom is acting towards him by plunking this Chad down right in the middle of their domestic life after practically zero acclimatisation. If she wants to “go on a vacation” with my sons, I will NOT sign the authorisation no matter what. She can go waste her time getting a time slot with a judge. I will contest and drag out the process. I have told my son that if he wants I will try and get his opinion to make a difference if need be. We all know it’s a load of s~~~, but in my jurisdiction this kind of action on my part will drag things out long enough to make my ex realise that I won’t make it easy for her to do anything related to Parental Authority rights (health, education, religion, travel long distances, etc). She’ll be handing me an easy way to pursue her legally if she does anything she shouldn’t with regards to PA. Now before some of you go on about how it’s all crap… I know it’s all crap, I know the system is rigged, I know I may get surprises that will boggle my mind, but still, you see… My ex loves being in the spotlight on SM, so for THAT reason she doesn’t want me to have proof that she’s acting like a POS. Her own self-image matters too much to her. And stupid laws aside, there’s this, I told my son that his mom needs a signed document to board a plane etc. I told my son, that if he has any doubt, if he’s being led away, to talk to an airline agent before boarding a plane. He told me he would not get on a plane without talking to me to confirm that I gave permission. It’ll be hard to drag a teen onto a plane, if he formally makes a statement to an official that he may be the subject of a kidnapping. I made sure to tell him that he must make an official statement to an airline authority or the police. I don’t think it will get to all this, but I’m covering my ass and I’m getting my son’s back. I only feel for you dads that have kids that are too young to stand up for themselves. That is tragic, when a child is abused by his mom and is too young to do anything about it, plus, we all know that us dads practically have our hands tied. … breather …
I got my ‘shoebox’ I live in (it’s a really tiny studio) but I’m alone, sweet peace and quiet! I got myself a job now (what a relief), I’m back on track with healthy activities and diet, exercise etc, overall that is. This site has been a huge help for me. Reading stories of the strength and determination that you guys show has made me feel like I can be stronger, tough it out, and who knows maybe even enjoy the day that I will bathe gleefully in the tears of my ex, laugh whole-heatedly at the fact that she will want laser removal of her stupid mutual-with-Chad tattoo, relish in the knowledge that her creditors are harassing her incessantly. More later…

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

Also, if any of you separated or divorced dads want to share a link here to a support group in your jurisdiction that helps single or divorce dads to cope, please share it on this thread.

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

https://www.peres-separes.qc.ca/home

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

[DorkShitParticipant 4353]

Hey Point. Sounds like you’re getting into a better piece of mind space.

In my instance, I preferred to keep the children out of the fray. (Impossible task)

But, you have your path and time has a way of working it out. (These are momentary problems in our timeframe) The teenage years go by fast and once they are adults they have to regurgitate their relationship with parents again.

You want to be at a place when they mature so that you can be in their lives, etc.

Good to hear the tone in your post. Positive times are best.

Peace brothers

[MoreSkyParticipant 4865]

Glad you’re taking a bit of control and are getting in the right head space.

And as you said to me in another post:

Point Of No Return wrote:

One day, maybe, your reply to what she has to say will simply be a shrug of the shoulders and a turn of your back. That’s what I aim for.

Stick with it. Progress is being made.

"...reinvent your life because you must; it is your life and its history and the present belong only to you.” It is Your Life, Charles Bukowski.

[SmeeParticipant 228]

Hi Point,
as the others have said – good that you seem to be heading in the right direction.

You’re absolutely on point telling your kid the facts and details of your new situation and how it may affect each individual and their rights.

They are not stupid and they also will judge you on how you treat them. You are talking to him as an adult and he will appreciate it, even more later, should anything untoward happen, simply because he will understand.

We are here should you need to vent – which will inevitably happen, because she is realising she has no control over you and that will result in her acting like a spoilt child.

As always, think twice, at once Brother

Smee Again

[DocParticipant]

Good to hear you have made a recovery.
What your ex did was unacceptable.
I read your original posts when you first put them up.
It’s sadly all too typical of what women do.
They want everything their way and f~~~ who gets in their way.

It’s really good to hear you are feeling better.
I hate to see men hurt because of the actions of a woman. Our recovery and eventual lack of want for a woman is the best revenge.

Good news indeed.

The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape, finding oneself in the ranks of the insane. Marcus Aurelius

[Anonymous 43]

There is part of the divorce agreement that said the other parent was to be notified 7 days advance notice if the parent leaves the state with the kids. OK fine. I had my kids for a weekend, no problem. The c~~~ was on time for once. And the next time I had them two weeks later, my kids were acting really strange, they slept all day and up all night, and they suddenly understood French and Italian a little better.

The c~~~ had taken our children to Paris and to Venice without telling me. No phone call, no text. They had just returned to Chicago 2 hours before I was to pick them up. So we went to court the following week, had a fun time in court for three days, and the result? Drum roll please……nothing. For the c~~~: No penalty, no admonition, no harsh words, no nothing. Leaving the country with my kids for 2 weeks while she was working…leaving my kids in the hotel room all day in another f~~~ing continent was deemed an educational experience, and that the work trip was of sudden onset that other arrangements could not be made in time. Since this was during the school year, and I lived 200 miles away from the kids school, it would have too disruptive to the children to leave the kids with me and drive 3 hours every morning to attend school. This was an educational opportunity that would benefit the children.

The kids, then ages 13 and 9 were locked in the hotel room all day while the c~~~ worked, then about 4pm, the c~~~ would come home and they would do some touristy s~~~.

I was given the stern admonition for occupying the court’s valuable time with this twaddle, and that the c~~~ was providing our children with a unique educational and cultural experience. Leaving the country without telling me was immaterial, what matters was I was protesting an educational experience?
There was no malicious intent on her part. I however was accused of frivolous wasting of the court’s time, and should be more considerate of my children’s potential cultural and educational opportunities in the future.

This is the c~~~ who thought I was taking my kids to Mexico because that’s where her tracking device ended up. S~~~, nothing came about after that either. F~~~.

So, for complaining that the c~~~ took the kids out of the country without telling me resulted in me paying the court costs for three days, my lawyer’s time and her lawyer’s time, total, $13,000. Payable within 2 weeks, or I would be in contempt of court. Failure to pay all parties within 14 days will result in 180 days at the Adult Detention Facility. Yes, we were in court two weeks later to make sure I paid my bills. That cost me $1000 to tell the f~~~ing judge f~~~wit I paid my court costs and her lawyer bill. And I’m the bad guy. Jebus on the cross,

Do not get married, stay away from women. Stay away from these f~~~ing c~~~s.

I would lose three complaints like this in 6 years. Each time I would have to pay my lawyer, her lawyer and court costs, These 3 complaints cost me an extra $50,000 at least. Clearly the c~~~ violated the divorce decree, and nothing happened to her, and I was punished. Thanks Judge F~~~wit. and my kids still told me to f~~~ off.

WHAT!!!??? THE!!!??? ACTUAL!!!???? F~~~!!!!!??????????

I’m the bad guy?

Yes, brothers, I spent a lot of time in the racquetball court that week, working out my frustration. I broke a racquet. I swam miles in the pool, and I spent hours in the gym in seething rage.

[AposematicParticipant 2671]

Point and May… Court is nothing but futile waste of money. I thought of fighting in court , decided to buy a $30 000 instrument instead. Court feeds the Narc’s supply… No Attention, not ever….

Afinogyny.. from the Greek Afino {to abandon/ to set down/ to leave /to allow/ to let } + Gyny {Women} MGHOW’s philosophy to not engage women without “hating them”. Narcorca =Narcissistic Orca typically spouting to a bathroom mirror taking an arms length selfie ; Wallinate describes post wall females whose SMV is terminally negligible New Years resolution "To not make women happy" . Instadestitue: yet another Neologism for Men that cohabit with women that decide to pull the handle of intervention orders.

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

May, that’s one wicked court system you are dealing with, it’s incredible how the courts are biased in favour of the woman!

A lot of times, it’s too late to do anything, because the kids are already out of the country. I have told my kids that if they step onto a plane, train, boat, whatever, that there’s a chance they may never see me again. Plus, I told them their mom would be committing a crime if she took them out of the country without my authorisation.

“Crime, dad?” – “Yes, a crime son, it’s called kidnapping and is punishable by years of prison time.”

My lawyer told me that I could ask the dept of justice of my jurisdiction to consider issuing an arrest warrant even if it meant having her arrested in another country. That is, if she left with the kids without my authorisation. Or so the story goes, we all know…

To those of you that think the kids should not be involved, I quite disagree with this, especially if the consequences of not letting them know what’s really going on are too dire. Both my sons have now confirmed with me that they will take no vehicle whatsoever (aside from the school bus and the like) without finding out from me whether I have authorised their transport. I’m very aware of the deceitful ways of mother-cum-whore c~~~s that will do anything to get a new life going with their Captain Save-A-Hoe who they see as the next free meal ticket provider whether that Chad is even working or doing simply doing sweet diddly-squat 24/7.

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

It just happens that child support payments are barely manageable by myself financially. If I wanted shared custody it would cost me more and I can’t afford it. I’d have to get an apartment big enough for myself and my two kids, which would mean paying over double the rent I’m currently paying. Plus, half the month I’d walk around in that empty apartment thinking of all the rent I’m paying the landlord just to keep my right to shared custody. Add to that the grocery bill for a pre-teen and a teen boys, and I can’t afford it without taking away too much from myself by going into debt. Anyhow, the lesson is this, the woman gets to sit in the throne and get the handouts while the father has to make due with visitation or big bills totalling more than the CS payments. And of course she’ll do what she has to to keep government child tax credit payments. Once you as a guy get dethroned that’s it. You’re done. Unless you make big bucks. But if you are in the same bag financially as the ex, she’ll always have the advantage. All the housekeeping items for kids that go unused for half the month. Credit card payments on the extra beds and etc, half the month paying superfluous rent for space un-needed… It’s all ridiculous.

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

So here we are nearing the end of the fiscal year for some lawyers including mine. I got a message from the legal assistant that basically reads “wrap it up”. So tell me, I’m supposed to rush through my divorce and play into the hands of my ex all because my lawyer is to get paid before December 31? No way! I told the legal assistant that there will be no wrapping up and that in fact I consider my ex to be in contempt of court and as such do not feel that it is appropriate to wrap up my file at this time. Anyhow the point is for the yet-to-be MGTOW lurkers, don’t let December 31 be the reason your lawyer is going to botch your divorce up in favour of your ex. Worse case scenario I will get another lawyer, one that doesn’t see December 31, 2017 as a deadline.

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

Aposematic wrote:

Point and May… Court is nothing but futile waste of money. I thought of fighting in court , decided to buy a $30 000 instrument instead. Court feeds the Narc’s supply… No Attention, not ever….

Generally speaking it can be a waste to keep going to court, however, sometimes it becomes necessary to pursue things in court to avoid greater expenses down the road. A tour through the courtrooms that costs $15,000 becomes a good deal if it saves you $30,000 in a year’s time, because some court action went in your favour (it does happen once in a while).

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

Anonymous wrote:

There is part of the divorce agreement that said the other parent was to be notified 7 days advance notice if the parent leaves the state with the kids. OK fine. I had my kids for a weekend, no problem. The c~~~ was on time for once. And the next time I had them two weeks later, my kids were acting really strange, they slept all day and up all night, and they suddenly understood French and Italian a little better.

The c~~~ had taken our children to Paris and to Venice without telling me. No phone call, no text. They had just returned to Chicago 2 hours before I was to pick them up. So we went to court the following week, had a fun time in court for three days, and the result? Drum roll please……nothing. For the c~~~: No penalty, no admonition, no harsh words, no nothing. Leaving the country with my kids for 2 weeks while she was working…leaving my kids in the hotel room all day in another f~~~ing continent was deemed an educational experience, and that the work trip was of sudden onset that other arrangements could not be made in time. Since this was during the school year, and I lived 200 miles away from the kids school, it would have too disruptive to the children to leave the kids with me and drive 3 hours every morning to attend school. This was an educational opportunity that would benefit the children.

The kids, then ages 13 and 9 were locked in the hotel room all day while the c~~~ worked, then about 4pm, the c~~~ would come home and they would do some touristy s~~~.

I was given the stern admonition for occupying the court’s valuable time with this twaddle, and that the c~~~ was providing our children with a unique educational and cultural experience. Leaving the country without telling me was immaterial, what matters was I was protesting an educational experience?
There was no malicious intent on her part. I however was accused of frivolous wasting of the court’s time, and should be more considerate of my children’s potential cultural and educational opportunities in the future.

This is the c~~~ who thought I was taking my kids to Mexico because that’s where her tracking device ended up. S~~~, nothing came about after that either. F~~~.

So, for complaining that the c~~~ took the kids out of the country without telling me resulted in me paying the court costs for three days, my lawyer’s time and her lawyer’s time, total, $13,000. Payable within 2 weeks, or I would be in contempt of court. Failure to pay all parties within 14 days will result in 180 days at the Adult Detention Facility. Yes, we were in court two weeks later to make sure I paid my bills. That cost me $1000 to tell the f~~~ing judge f~~~wit I paid my court costs and her lawyer bill. And I’m the bad guy. Jebus on the cross,

Do not get married, stay away from women. Stay away from these f~~~ing c~~~s.

I would lose three complaints like this in 6 years. Each time I would have to pay my lawyer, her lawyer and court costs, These 3 complaints cost me an extra $50,000 at least. Clearly the c~~~ violated the divorce decree, and nothing happened to her, and I was punished. Thanks Judge F~~~wit. and my kids still told me to f~~~ off.

WHAT!!!??? THE!!!??? ACTUAL!!!???? F~~~!!!!!??????????

I’m the bad guy?

Yes, brothers, I spent a lot of time in the racquetball court that week, working out my frustration. I broke a racquet. I swam miles in the pool, and I spent hours in the gym in seething rage.

May, when I read what you write it infuriates me. It reminds me of the reality of how things really are. Yours is a special contribution because it’s a warning to lurkers that think the system works. It doesn’t a lot of the time. It makes me realise that men like you face incredible psychological obstacles with regards to divorce. I wish you strength. I’m fighting to avoid all the power going into my ex’s hands, but as you so clearly told, sometimes them c~~~s just go ahead and do whatever s~~~ they want, regardless. Sometimes it’s just impossible to let them c~~~s get away with such s~~~, like taking off with the kids or what have you. So, in light of your story and other evidence of how things really work, I have a two pronged approach. One is with my lawyer and the other is finding out-of-court ways to stick it to my ex (not easy). One thing I have managed is to delay CS payments and try to dry up some of her resources (my jurisdiction allows for cancellation of CS payments but they still accrue in account). I’d rather have a financial liability that I can manage on my own terms than have to pay ex-c~~~ money she’s only going to fork over to Chad anyhow (she buys him plane tickets to upkeep her LD relationship — she doesn’t make enough to be able to afford this luxury). I’ve also had to resort to putting pressure on my own lawyer (not yet used the Bar Association weapon, but who knows). It’s a battle, truly, and only those that go through it like you May know what it’s really all about.

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

Doc wrote:

Good to hear you have made a recovery.
What your ex did was unacceptable.
I read your original posts when you first put them up.
It’s sadly all too typical of what women do.
They want everything their way and f~~~ who gets in their way.

It’s really good to hear you are feeling better.
I hate to see men hurt because of the actions of a woman. Our recovery and eventual lack of want for a woman is the best revenge.

Good news indeed.

They want everything their way and f~~~ who gets in their way.
Indeed, that exactly how it goes. Makes me wonder if it’s not standing orders from the Hive to act like a total c~~~ when going through a divorce.
And for those guys (blue pilled) that go around saying I worked it out amicably with my ex…
I wonder if the translation really isn’t
I did whatever the f~~~ she and her lawyer wanted from me.

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

Smee wrote:

Hi Point,
as the others have said – good that you seem to be heading in the right direction.

You’re absolutely on point telling your kid the facts and details of your new situation and how it may affect each individual and their rights.

They are not stupid and they also will judge you on how you treat them. You are talking to him as an adult and he will appreciate it, even more later, should anything untoward happen, simply because he will understand.

We are here should you need to vent – which will inevitably happen, because she is realising she has no control over you and that will result in her acting like a spoilt child.

As always, think twice, at once Brother

Bang on Smee. That’s exactly what is happening. She’s acting like a spoiled kid and amazingly in this mangina-ized world it actually gives her some results. One important thing a MGHOW way can do is not cater to a woman’s demands. Men should put THEIR own needs first and do the right thing, which means not always giving the woman what she wants. Pussy is there, in this universe to try and prevent us men from acting correctly, but we must see it for what it really is, which is a hatchet gash, nothing more.

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

Overall I’m doing better but I got a few things on the table that are still bothering me. I’ve fixed one, the one about my ex wanting to bring my kids out of the country. They have now repeatedly told me they will not leave the country and they are old enough to resist this. Selling the property is one big headache because my ex is not cooperating. This is a HUGE reason NOT to get married. Lurkers, young guys, DO NOT GET MARRIED! Your special snowflake WILL eventually turn on you and your property WILL be held hostage and it will be kid’s play for her to do this. DO NOT GET MARRIED, because it brings property into her hands that allows her to have leverage against you once she decides she needs to suck some other f~~~er’s dick (and she will).

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

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