Home › Forums › MGTOW Central › Saving another man from the pit of marriage….
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RedDawn 3 years, 9 months ago.
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I strongly suspect your friend already knows how you feel about marriage. Trying to talk him out of it will be dismissed as cynicism. When a buddy of mine recently got married, I told him: “If you want to know why you shouldn’t get married, I’d be more than happy to explain. Otherwise know that when you show up on my doorstep with a bottle of Jack Daniels in your hand after getting kicked out of your house, you are more than welcome to crash at my place.”
Then just let it play out:
HIM: “I just got married!”
YOU: “Congratulations. I wish you the best of luck”HIM: “Dude! Marriage is awesome! She cooks for me and there is tons of sex.”
YOU: “I am happy for you. Enjoy.”HIM: “Wow. Having a baby is a lot of work. I thought I wanted a kid – I know she definitely did – but I never thought it would be this hard.
YOU: “Yeah, tough stuff. But you will end up loving that kid.”HIM: “Things have been pretty stressful lately. We have been arguing a lot and not much sex, but I am still glad I got married.”
YOU: “Well, hang in there. Let me know if you want to talk.”HIM: “Sorry I haven’t talked to you in a long time. Things aren’t going well with the wife. We argue about money all the time and she says that I need a better paying job, but then she gets mad when I work late trying to get a promotion. We argue about not having sex and she says it is because I think she is fat now….. Oops, sorry gotta go, the wife is calling – she hates it when I spend time with friends.”
YOU: “See ya. Call me anytime.”HIM: “Things are getting better. She lost all her baby weight and has been going to the gym. She also picked out some sexy new clothes. She has been going out with her friends at night which finally gives me some time to hang out with my buddies.”
YOU: “….”HIM: “That f~~~ing whore! She has been cheating on me for the past year! After everything I did for her! I gave her everything she wanted.”
YOU: “Let me buy you a drink.”HIM: “That lying bitch. I can’t believe the stuff she told the court, and they believed it! She gets sole custody of the kids, the house, the car, most of what is left of my savings, and I have ¾ of my wages garnished for alimony and child support. She is living like a queen in my old house with her new boyfriend and she’s not even working. Meanwhile I have to work overtime to afford my s~~~ty one-bed apartment.
YOU: “Let me introduce you to MGTOW.COM.”"You don't know a woman till you have met her in divorce court."
Anonymous1I have to credit my ex gf of 5 years for me not getting married and making that colossal mistake. She started to exhibit the traits of a confortable, angry land whale before we even got to that stage.
Slim and sexy, she piled on the pounds towards the end of the relationship at a rate of knots. She became depressed about her weight so I forked out for expensive running shoes and personal training sessions (she earned next to nothing working in a fancy dress shop). I’d come home to find her stuffing her face with sweets, was like a slap in the face, I’m paying out all this money and she cant even show a shred of self discipline. She was was shovelling in haribo on one occasion whilst cooking dinner, like witnessing a pig have its fill at the troth. Eventually I cut the money off which caused huge rows. I was disgusted by her lack of self discipline and the speed at which the weight was going on despite my best efforts to arrest the slide. All the while she was demanding to get married, but I was grossed out by her and lost all respect. That was the beginning of the end.
I’m grateful to my AWALT for getting it so back to front.
Anonymous54Email them info on your states divorce laws.
We’re ghosts to manginas/tradcons who are wanting to get married or are getting married. We’re dead to them. Nothing we say or do will convince them that they shouldn’t get married.
They worship vaginas like they’re goddesses. It’s sickening. All we can do is be there for them when their marriages fail.
Men age like fine wine. Women age like milk. "One hundred women are not worth a single testicle." -Confucius
It would be a polite no for me, I wouldn’t feel obligated to play such a huge role at a sham ceremony.
See I’d feel “obligated” to “put in an appearance”. Otherwise I risk burning a bridge. It’s an unfair situation to be forced into.
My best buddy years ago declined standing up for me at my wedding – bro saw the writing on the wall. 28 years and 18 years of child support later, not to mention 10 years of misery, should have heeded his message
Standing up as in “speak now or forever hold your peace”? And if so what would your response have been?
You: “This man ruined my wedding. I hate him. He was never my friend”
Her: “This man ruined the happiest day of our lives! Bastard! ”I’ll wager that’s what would have happened.
It would be a polite no for me, I wouldn’t feel obligated to play such a huge role at a sham ceremony.
See I’d feel “obligated” to “put in an appearance”. Otherwise I risk burning a bridge. It’s an unfair situation to be forced into.
I usually go. But I tell him, I am here only to support you not marriage. Plus there is usually an open bar and lots of friends.
Frankly, weddings are a good red pill for me. It’s like watching Titanic — I know how it’s going to end. And when I see all the money wasted and all the bulls~~~ to make her feel like a princess, it just strengthens my resolve to never re-marry.
"You don't know a woman till you have met her in divorce court."
Anonymous1It would be a polite no for me, I wouldn’t feel obligated to play such a huge role at a sham ceremony.
See I’d feel “obligated” to “put in an appearance”. Otherwise I risk burning a bridge. It’s an unfair situation to be forced into.
I am going to the wedding, I just wouldn’t be best man had that been asked of me. I thought that was your original question.
Not being in attendance would cause a lot more hassle for me then it’s worth.
Anonymous1It would be a polite no for me, I wouldn’t feel obligated to play such a huge role at a sham ceremony.
See I’d feel “obligated” to “put in an appearance”. Otherwise I risk burning a bridge. It’s an unfair situation to be forced into.
I usually go. But I tell him, I am here only to support you not marriage. Plus there is usually an open bar and lots of friends.
Frankly, weddings are a good red pill for me. It’s like watching Titanic — I know how it’s going to end. And when I see all the money wasted and all the bulls~~~ to make her feel like a princess, it just strengthens my resolve to never re-marry.
Precisely the stance I’ve taken. I’d be ostracised if I didn’t go.
Then just let it play out:
HIM: “I just got married!”
etc.
That was hilarious. Thank you. I’m preparing for exams and was kind of in need of a laugh.
To quote the matrix
“You have to understand. Most people are not ready to be unplugged. And many of them are so inured and so hopelessly dependent on the system that they will fight to protect it.”
It’s hard to standby and watch something happen you know that you would maybe be able to prevent.
In most cases words cannot sway someone’s mind when it is made up, instead it takes something Earth-shaking (divorce, unplanned child etc) to force realisation.
I empathize with your position. Maybe if you try subtly to gain insight into his standpoint it will make your decision easier. Whereas if he is open to the idea it would be worth attempting to lay down logic and rationale, however if he is close minded and you still wish to try the most likely outcome would be a potentially alienated friend and perhaps a “I told you so” at best.
HIM: “I just got married!”
YOU: “Congratulations. I wish you the best of luck”HIM: “Dude! Marriage is awesome! She cooks for me and there is tons of sex.”
YOU: “I am happy for you. Enjoy.”HIM: “Wow. Having a baby is a lot of work. I thought I wanted a kid – I know she definitely did – but I never thought it would be this hard.
YOU: “Yeah, tough stuff. But you will end up loving that kid.”HIM: “Things have been pretty stressful lately. We have been arguing a lot and not much sex, but I am still glad I got married.”
YOU: “Well, hang in there. Let me know if you want to talk.”HIM: “Sorry I haven’t talked to you in a long time. Things aren’t going well with the wife. We argue about money all the time and she says that I need a better paying job, but then she gets mad when I work late trying to get a promotion. We argue about not having sex and she says it is because I think she is fat now….. Oops, sorry gotta go, the wife is calling – she hates it when I spend time with friends.”
YOU: “See ya. Call me anytime.”HIM: “Things are getting better. She lost all her baby weight and has been going to the gym. She also picked out some sexy new clothes. She has been going out with her friends at night which finally gives me some time to hang out with my buddies.”
YOU: “….”HIM: “That f~~~ing whore! She has been cheating on me for the past year! After everything I did for her! I gave her everything she wanted.”
YOU: “Let me buy you a drink.”HIM: “That lying bitch. I can’t believe the stuff she told the court, and they believed it! She gets sole custody of the kids, the house, the car, most of what is left of my savings, and I have ¾ of my wages garnished for alimony and child support. She is living like a queen in my old house with her new boyfriend and she’s not even working. Meanwhile I have to work overtime to afford my s~~~ty one-bed apartment.
YOU: “Let me introduce you to MGTOW.COM.”Hey CPT Obvious, it is absof~~~inglutely exactly how my marriage went down….And to the OP this is exactly how his life is about to go down, as the gentleman from Australia pointed out so very cleverly he is C~~~STRUCK and there ain’t a goshdamned thing anyone can say or do too make him see thru the bulls~~~…The only card you have is as CPT Obvious put it out there for you, and I mean capital f~~~ing PERFECTLY said…Any words of advice is only going to get you into the s~~~ with her or him at this point…Just let it play all the way, be there when you can, and we will all welcome him into the group here in about 5 to 7 years…give or take…So very well put Obvious, wow, wish I knew then what I know now, might even be financially capable of taking care of myself, s~~~…
Men are at a time when panning for gold in a urinal has a higher probability of success than finding a faithful and loving woman, it is time to go your own way.....
Hey JJ,
Thanks. Glad you liked it.
Hey CPT Obvious, it is absof~~~inglutely exactly how my marriage went down
With a couple minor changes, that is how mine went down, too. Sadly, we are not even close to being the only ones out there with this story. Life is a bitch, and so are women. Funny, take women out of the equation, and suddenly life isn’t so bad anymore.
Peace, brother.
"You don't know a woman till you have met her in divorce court."What obligation, if any, do we as MGTOW have to save another man from the great lie of marriage?
You cannot save a man who is “c~~~struck” anymore than you can save a drunk or junkie. (Great term, Nice Guy Eddie!)
All you can do is be there when they decide to get sober because, just as with drunk and junkies, it only works when they make that decision.
Beg off from the ceremony, keep in touch as much as his new owner will let him, and be there to help when she, her lawyers, and the courts rip his still beating heart out of his chest.
Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.
My brother jokingly asked me if I wanted to skip the exit on the way to the wedding but I succumbed.
Want to here what an idiot is really like?
I met my first wife the summer after senior year. She seemed beautiful, fun and open minded (wink wink, say no more, say no more).
After knowing her for a month I went away to med school and we had a long term relationship.
Now let me tell she was pretty attractive and seemingly open minded.
So I break down on the phone and ask her to marry me.
Then, a week later when I realized I asked a stranger to marry me, albeit a hot stranger, I tried to get her to come out and live with me but…
…back in those days…the good old days, if you ask a woman to marry you and she starts planning a wedding you just didn’t back out. Plus, did I mention she was hot and good in bed?
So I married her out of obligation from having to stand up to my word of asking her to marry me.
It lasted 6 of the longest years of my life.
So, yeah, I’d tell him not to get married, I know he’s going to think I just hate women, but, tell him getting married is insane and slap some facts on him and consider your job done. As long as you don’t try to pressure him to do anything he shouldn’t resent you.
Advice from an idiot.
#icethemout; Remember Thomas Ball. He died for your children.
I’m very sorry to hear that. How do you feel about this? My brother is about to get cucked into marriage by a Tinder slut.
…
Would you be the best man? Out of obligation? Or just say no?
Your brother needs a serious kick in the b~~~~. I’ve seen first hand how many guys tinder girls run through. Surely he is not blind to this?
Anonymous2Where do you guys draw the line? I had this talk with a good friend, he still married in the end but at least he’s a happy delusional. Now a collegue is about to get married. I drop RP hints but they don’t come across. Not sure whether I should bother to wisen up someone not actually that close to me.
Anonymous3I strongly suspect your friend already knows how you feel about marriage. Trying to talk him out of it will be dismissed as cynicism. When a buddy of mine recently got married, I told him: “If you want to know why you shouldn’t get married, I’d be more than happy to explain. Otherwise know that when you show up on my doorstep with a bottle of Jack Daniels in your hand after getting kicked out of your house, you are more than welcome to crash at my place.”
Then just let it play out:
HIM: “I just got married!”
YOU: “Congratulations. I wish you the best of luck”HIM: “Dude! Marriage is awesome! She cooks for me and there is tons of sex.”
YOU: “I am happy for you. Enjoy.”HIM: “Wow. Having a baby is a lot of work. I thought I wanted a kid – I know she definitely did – but I never thought it would be this hard.
YOU: “Yeah, tough stuff. But you will end up loving that kid.”HIM: “Things have been pretty stressful lately. We have been arguing a lot and not much sex, but I am still glad I got married.”
YOU: “Well, hang in there. Let me know if you want to talk.”HIM: “Sorry I haven’t talked to you in a long time. Things aren’t going well with the wife. We argue about money all the time and she says that I need a better paying job, but then she gets mad when I work late trying to get a promotion. We argue about not having sex and she says it is because I think she is fat now….. Oops, sorry gotta go, the wife is calling – she hates it when I spend time with friends.”
YOU: “See ya. Call me anytime.”HIM: “Things are getting better. She lost all her baby weight and has been going to the gym. She also picked out some sexy new clothes. She has been going out with her friends at night which finally gives me some time to hang out with my buddies.”
YOU: “….”HIM: “That f~~~ing whore! She has been cheating on me for the past year! After everything I did for her! I gave her everything she wanted.”
YOU: “Let me buy you a drink.”HIM: “That lying bitch. I can’t believe the stuff she told the court, and they believed it! She gets sole custody of the kids, the house, the car, most of what is left of my savings, and I have ¾ of my wages garnished for alimony and child support. She is living like a queen in my old house with her new boyfriend and she’s not even working. Meanwhile I have to work overtime to afford my s~~~ty one-bed apartment.
YOU: “Let me introduce you to MGTOW.COM.”Classic. This belongs in the MGTOW bible.
I strongly suspect your friend already knows how you feel about marriage. Trying to talk him out of it will be dismissed as cynicism. When a buddy of mine recently got married, I told him: “If you want to know why you shouldn’t get married, I’d be more than happy to explain. Otherwise know that when you show up on my doorstep with a bottle of Jack Daniels in your hand after getting kicked out of your house, you are more than welcome to crash at my place.”
Then just let it play out:
HIM: “I just got married!”
YOU: “Congratulations. I wish you the best of luck”HIM: “Dude! Marriage is awesome! She cooks for me and there is tons of sex.”
YOU: “I am happy for you. Enjoy.”HIM: “Wow. Having a baby is a lot of work. I thought I wanted a kid – I know she definitely did – but I never thought it would be this hard.
YOU: “Yeah, tough stuff. But you will end up loving that kid.”HIM: “Things have been pretty stressful lately. We have been arguing a lot and not much sex, but I am still glad I got married.”
YOU: “Well, hang in there. Let me know if you want to talk.”HIM: “Sorry I haven’t talked to you in a long time. Things aren’t going well with the wife. We argue about money all the time and she says that I need a better paying job, but then she gets mad when I work late trying to get a promotion. We argue about not having sex and she says it is because I think she is fat now….. Oops, sorry gotta go, the wife is calling – she hates it when I spend time with friends.”
YOU: “See ya. Call me anytime.”HIM: “Things are getting better. She lost all her baby weight and has been going to the gym. She also picked out some sexy new clothes. She has been going out with her friends at night which finally gives me some time to hang out with my buddies.”
YOU: “….”HIM: “That f~~~ing whore! She has been cheating on me for the past year! After everything I did for her! I gave her everything she wanted.”
YOU: “Let me buy you a drink.”HIM: “That lying bitch. I can’t believe the stuff she told the court, and they believed it! She gets sole custody of the kids, the house, the car, most of what is left of my savings, and I have ¾ of my wages garnished for alimony and child support. She is living like a queen in my old house with her new boyfriend and she’s not even working. Meanwhile I have to work overtime to afford my s~~~ty one-bed apartment.
YOU: “Let me introduce you to MGTOW.COM.”Classic. This belongs in the MGTOW bible.
I second it. This is by far the best solution I can think of.
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
Where do you guys draw the line? I had this talk with a good friend, he still married in the end but at least he’s a happy delusional. Now a collegue is about to get married. I drop RP hints but they don’t come across. Not sure whether I should bother to wisen up someone not actually that close to me.
You mean well, but it’s a great gamble. Being a work colleague it could come back and bite you in the ass by affecting your relationship with him or worse.
The thing about the truth is that when you learn it you want to shout it out. Though the irony is that people hate the truth and they’ll make you suffer for it.
Remember fire-fighters are trained to save themselves first because they can’t help others if they’re dead.
Courage is the key to life itself - Morgan Freeman
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