Satire/10 Commandments of MGTOW

[MGHOW PaladinParticipant 95]

MGHOW Paladin wrote:

1.Avoid long term relations~~~s and marriages. NEVER stick your dick in single moms. NEVER stick your dick in college girls. Doing this will lead into long term relations~~~s and marriages. It’ll also lead to false rape accusations. In some cases, it will also lead to common law marriage.

2.NEVER engage with feminists. RUN LIKE THEY’RE THE PLAGUE. If you have a feminist who’s your boss, convince them you’re gay or transgendered. Or both.

3.NEVER let your girlfriend move in with you. If you have to, jerk off before making serious decisions like this. Letting women move in with you will only get you jail time eventually one way or another.

4.Avoid white knights. Especially if they’re stronger/bigger than you. Just shut up and walk away. Not worth getting into a fight and risking jail time.

5.NEVER be alone with children. Always have a witness. Preferably a couple. If not a couple, preferably a well-known white knight among your family/friends. Or better yet, put up nanny cams in your place. Just to avoid false accusations of any kind including domestic.

6.NEVER challenge any woman on whatever they say. Unless they think you’re gay or transgendered, doing this could land you in big trouble. Especially if you work on campus/non-profit/government sectors. Remember the stupid mansplaining s~~~? Yeah, in a few years’ time I don’t doubt that a straight guy could go to jail for this stupid s~~~.

7.NEVER let women cloud your judgement. Before making any big decisions regarding women, jerk off. Don’t even get a hooker. Just jerk off beforehand. This will save you a lot of headaches down the road. And probably even money as well.

8.Unless you plan on having sex with women, or unless they’re you’re family members, TRY YOUR BEST TO AVOID WOMEN AT ALL COSTS. NEVER be alone with women unless you know you can have video evidence of the encounter.

9.Which brings us to #9. If you have to stick your dick in crazy, FILM IT. The penalties to filming sex without a woman’s permission is far less than getting accused of rape. MAKE BACKUPS EVERY TIME YOU STICK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY. NEVER LOSE ANY ONE OF THEM. IF YOU HAVE TO, BUY A SERVER FOR THIS VERY PURPOSE.

10. And finally, ALWAYS follow your ambitions. Don’t let society, the government, family, or women get in your way. Remember, this is your life. Not anyone else’s. If you’re miserable because you listened to someone else, it’s your own damned fault.

Hope this helps all the new MGTOWs out there as well as the older ones. I put this together as sort of a satire, but it’s very good advice nonetheless.

[Elric GreenstoneParticipant 1637]

OP:

How is that satire? Seems pretty dead-on to me.

I’d go with suggestion rather than commandments, as we’re all going our own way, but whatever. Darned good suggestions, regardless.

I particularly liked # 10.

I’ve used #2 before. Someone – a stranger – was going down a possibly schizophrenic rant that wasn’t going anywhere good, and I looked her straight in the eyes and said “I’m gay”. It stunned her, and stopped the rant. I added something along the lines of “nice try, though”, and then walked away.

"You can either love women, or understand women. You can't do both. Because once you understand women, you realize that there is really nothing to love."

[MGHOW PaladinParticipant 95]

Elric Greenstone wrote:

OP:

How is that satire? Seems pretty dead-on to me.

I’d go with suggestion rather than commandments, as we’re all going our own way, but whatever. Darned good suggestions, regardless.

I particularly liked # 10.

I’ve used #2 before. Someone – a stranger – was going down a possibly schizophrenic rant that wasn’t going anywhere good, and I looked her straight in the eyes and said “I’m gay”. It stunned her, and stopped the rant. I added something along the lines of “nice try, though”, and then walked away.

Haha, well thanks. And yeah, I put satire because of the whole “10 commandments” thing”. And yep, #2 is definitely good especially if you’ve never dated before.

[Big BossParticipant 4496]

1. Thou shalt not marry.

2. Thou shall hit it, and run.

3. Never be disarmed, be ready to kill, and willing to die.

4. Thou shalt not sacrifice your way of life, desires, money, assets, and beliefs for a woman. She can eat curb.

5. Thou shalt make savage and wild the body and civilize thy mind.

6. Thou shalt not make thyself dependent on government.

7. Have the ability to craft and fix anything, and the tools to make anything.

8. Thou shalt not give up thy masculinity to satisfy a female. She can swallow your dick.

9. Bros before hoes.

10. A REAL man shalt not give up liberty for security like a mangina, simp, and ho.

(True security comes from you with a loaded gun secured in his hands who has grown competent enough to use it effectively without hesitation, not from assholes thousands of leagues away spying on your computer and porn folder who ended up not knowing s~~~ about the various French attacks, or a 15 minute wait for the cops who don’t give a s~~~ about your life as much as theirs because f~~~ you they are civil servants not your family or your bros.)

[TheBardParticipant 974]

A lot of these you can easily avoid by not having sex ever and going into a field with no women: sewage worker, coal miner, pipeline worker, construction, etc.

Funny thing about single moms is when I was younger my mom would always tell me to never date a single mom because of the drama it would bring. Now that I am almost 30 she has mentioned multiple times that I should possible date some single moms with daughters so I could get a daughter quicker. My own sister even suggested I date a 40 year old because I shouldn’t be picky lol.

[JasonParticipant 282]

@big-boss: I particularly like #5. It speaks to me. +1 for you.

There lies serenity in Chaos. Seek ye the eye of the hurricane.

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