Reintroduction to dating?

[The LudophileParticipant 187]

The last few weeks have been rather strange. Some of you already know I have been struggling after taking the red pill. Last week was a turning point wherein I went my own way: understanding that love is a lie, women can and will hurt me, and accepting the idea of potentially never knowing the intimacy I had been conditioned to want for so long.

But, of course, life is a twisting journey. An attractive coworker, who had been mildly flirty with me for the last few months, was laid-off and immediately asked me to dinner. I am now quite torn, as my red-pill perceptions are alert and suspicious.

To avoid being rude, I accepted the invite to dinner. She has been very dodgey about when the dinner will occur, but it is currently slated for next week. I admit that since accepting the red pill, I’m pretty indifferent to the situation. However, I can’t help but recognize the irony of the whole thing. This is precisely the kind of event that I was looking for whilst I was blue-pill.

Anyway, I’m not good looking, I make a decent living, and I’m painfully nerdy. All of this makes me wonder what exactly she is hoping to play me for. I don’t think we have much in common and I’m refocusing on going my own way.

Any advice?

 

"There is no bad weather; only wrong clothes." ~ Scandinavian saying "I'm happy to see that the U.S. is abandoning the savagery and lies of religion more and more each year. I'm sad to see that politics and feelings are taking religions' place." ~ Me "Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. And, above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty." ~ OldBill

[a bananaParticipant 288]

my advice? dodge this seems skechy as f~~~ man

[Governor Megachris%Participant 3584]

Sometimes women will use a good personality to try to “connect” to yours.  They’ll pretend to be pretty cool chicks, even when the two of you don’t share much in common.  EVERY relationship I’ve had (save for one) caused the woman to show her true colors after a few weeks/months.  The flirtiness is cute and attractive now, but might turn ugly later.

I only worry because she was JUST laid off and now conveniently wants to go to dinner?  Who’s paying?  How is it benefiting her (this is what she will be thinking)?  But the better question is, how is it going to benefit YOU?  I think the same way you do when I’m around females, especially lately.  I’m very wary and vigilant of every word and action.  Just be careful, good sir.

[mgtow_85Participant 752]

She asked you to dinner because…first of all…you have a job and she doesn’t anymore.

She hopes if she can get close to someone that she at least knows a little bit and has seen around her former workplace, then she can get “financial favors” from him in return.

Her life is s~~~ty now that she is out of work and she wants a “prince charming” to rescue her from the mess that she has made with herself. Don’t fall for the trap, brother. Go your own way. Tell her that “something has come up” and that you can’t come.

Because something HAS come up: Your freedom.

The same thing happened to me 4 years ago. Female coworker gets laid off from her job. She had always tried to flirt with me before at work, but I ignored all of it and only spoke to her when my work depended on it. Because I happen to be good with saving money, the first thing she does after getting laid off is contacting me, saying, “I want to keep in touch with you and keep our friendship going.”

“I didn’t know we had a friendship.” I replied.

She giggled and said, “Now is the chance to see how good it would be.” She asked if we could “hang out”. I said I was busy with work these days. She said she would pick me up from my house after work and we could hang out every day if she wanted…and here’s the best part.

“If you could just help me out by paying for my gasoline, that would be nice.”

F~~~ that. Gas may have been $3.25 a gallon at the time, but she lived less than four miles from my place, and the first thing she wants me to do is to finance her trips. I reply, “I don’t know. Do I look like I’m made of money?” But in a joking way, of course.

“Well, you’re better at saving your money then anyone else is.” was her reply.

So because I have more money than most people in my line of work, I’m an instant target. I never contacted her again. Never knew what happened to her, and didn’t give a s~~~. Maybe she latched onto some other guy who makes a lot of money instead of just saving it.

[Anonymous 1]

Yeah, my advice is this:

It’s a trap!
She wants you to take care of her until she finds a better sucker… I mean guy. If I were you I would simply refuse. Just go do something else, focus on your career, hobbies or whatever else you enjoy.

Keep in mind that, if the roles were reversed and YOU were the one without a job, she would probably not only refuse your invite for dinner and label you creepy, but have one of her white knight friends to intimidate you if she felt like it.

These are my 2 cents though.

Good luck. 🙂

[Anonymous 5]

Her story will be;
“I always liked you but I was reluctant to initiate a relationship in the workplace for all the obvious reasons. Now we don’t work together I can spend time with you, have some fun, see what type of chemistry we have”

She’ll NAWALT the hell out of you till she hits her end goal.
Her end goal might be anything from owning you emotionally, free rent, free rent/board, engagement, marriage or childbirth. You won’t know what her end goal is till she snaps out of the NAWALT routine and reverts back to being a normal woman.
In this case she didn’t start till she had money problems, so it’s definitely some type of economic touchdown, not an ego emotional one.
Only the young or mentally or emotionally challenged go for emotional ownership by itself, but most of them insist on it as a prerequisite to their actual goal.

What the hell,,,,as long as you’re red pilled,,,you’re 90% immune already.
Just use protection and get some smashing NAWALT sex,,,NEVER let her move in,,,,,,and always see the NAWALT routine for what it is.

Be prepared to use video in the days leading up to the break up. There’s no shortage of extremely cheap and effective personal surveillance equipment on ebay now.

[ComingInHotParticipant 160]

I agree with ordinary guy +1.  You know what is coming.  So if orbiting a black hole just don’t go to deep to hit the event horizon and get sucked in, you know whats coming so you can skirt around and get everything you want without being sucked in and destroyed.

Come up with a number in your head.  Like 150 dollars total, that means 75 for you and 75 for her on dinners etc, if you spend that much and dont get anything, just roll.

The test will be when you get laid can you cut it off when she starts asking for things, rent, bills etc.

I always told my male friends this when I was in college and I still do till this day. “women have no problem using you, you shouldn’t have a problem using them, every action has an equal an opposite reaction.”

[megatoad69Participant 449]

Anonymous wrote:

Keep in mind that, if the roles were reversed and YOU were the one without a job, she would probably not only refuse your invite for dinner and label you creepy, but have one of her white knight friends to intimidate you if she felt like it. These are my 2 cents though. Good luck. 🙂

Yeah really, if it was you, a woman would have NOTHING to do with your unemployed ass!

You have no value to them, NONE!

ComingInHot wrote:

I agree with ordinary guy +1. You know what is coming. So if orbiting a black hole just don’t go to deep to hit the event horizon and get sucked in, you know whats coming so you can skirt around and get everything you want without being sucked in and destroyed.

Love the black hole analogy!

Fits so well!

You can't reason with unreasonable, there; women, figured out, there is nothing to reason.

[ManocalypseParticipant 321]

Tell her to f~~~ off, that usually does the trick…

[RusskyParticipant 13503]

hit it, quit it, park stop it, neutral slam it, run it through all the gears, ans leave it on the lot where you found it (tm Terrence Popp)

 

proud carrier of the 'why?' chromosome

[MGTOWmonkey aka No More Fucks To GiveParticipant 6635]

Dont do it or just tell her to come to your place and try to bang her. No money out of your pocket and you get laid,but cut her off slowly the same week but be nice because the fimbots are telling them yes means yes or whatever the f~~~ so watch ya back!!!

Never lose sight of what brought you here.

[experiencedParticipant]

Man, It’s the frickin money.

Don’t do it.

She’s attempting to use you.

By not taking her out, you will look in the mirror with self respect and say that “LAYDEE” tried to use me and I did not let her. It’ll be a success, a “win,” and cannot fail to bolster you.   Just tell her  “I’m sorry, I’ve changed my mind.” Period, nothing else, you’ve politely bowed out and she can figure it out for herself.

Don’t let her make you into what she wants, use this chance to mold yourself.

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

[BrainPilotParticipant 7640]

Before I answer your question, I’m going to repost here the only words from your post that I needed to read in order to understand the situation you are in. Sometimes just removing all the other words, and leaving just the ones that explain the situation…makes the situation much more clear:

mildly flirty… attractive coworker… laid off… immediately asked me to dinner…

Attractive means that she’s lived a life where she’s been offered dick almost continuously with all kinds of unearned privileges and perks attached. She’s used to having things offered and given to her.

Mildly flirty means that she is maintaining every possible channel through which all that free stuff could arrive to her. This is as much for her own ego as long as she has her own paycheck.

Laid off means that suddenly, she NEEDS these things. It’s not about ego anymore. She needs these channels to PRODUCE until she can secure another paycheck.

This girl started asking every guy she knows to dinner as soon as she got laid off. Why does she need gas if she is so close? She needs gas to make it to all the other invitations that have already gone out. She is uncertain about the date because she is still organizing the RSVPs and lining them up in order of likelihood to produce. When she’s heard back from everyone she’s invited to dinner, she will go to those dinners one at a time in order of decreasing income availability, and talk about all the newly discovered chemistry she feels with whoever is sitting across the table from her.

As soon as one of them takes the bait, she will cancel on everyone on the remainder of the list. With any luck, she’ll find a higher paid, easier target higher on the list before you even have to make the decision, and she will just cancel abruptly (probably the morning or early afternoon after spending the night as his place and getting his agreement to let her remain there until she can ‘get back on her feet’). If you do maintain contact, don’t be surprised if you hear about an oops pregnancy and shotgun wedding in the next several months…

My advice is to take yourself off that target list before she even gets started on it. Make room in her schedule for some other target. Be polite about it. Make up a good sounding excuse so that you can still be on speaking terms with her (so that you can confirm over the next several weeks/months everything I just wrote), and report back to us here how right we were.

You may wonder about this situation, but I have 4 older sisters, one ex wife and a couple dozen ex girlfriends over the last 3 decades. I’ve been a good earner and a good saver all that time.

There is no mystery here for me…

In all my years of dealing with mildly flirty, attractive women who were recently laid off, I have never once seen it result in one standing in line to get into a homeless shelter.

Have I removed the mystery for you? 😉

Look, it's not my fault that tornado dropped a house on your sister. Now get back on your broom and get your ass out of here... and take your monkeys with you

[KeymasterKeymaster]

If she doesn’t make it compelling, why even bother?

She asked you to dinner? What does that even mean. In this case you could play stupid: “Dinner? Wonderful! I haven’t had a home cooked meal that I didn’t prepare myself in AGES! That would be wonderful. Thanks. I’ll bring dessert. And what time should i be there?”.

But she used to work with you and that makes it an automatic “yeah, no”.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[KingOfTheSeaParticipant 1270]

Everyone’s pretty much hit the nail on the head here: She’s looking for a free meal ticket, maybe more out of you. My advice? Go to dinner, but ditch her and take an unappreciated brother-in-arms who’s in the dumps right now. Or just go by yourself and treat yourself to whatever you want, man. Celebrate the MGTOW-ness that is your life now!

[KingOfTheSeaParticipant 1270]

Just going to leave this here…

[Ned TrentParticipant 4894]

Now if you can’t help it but want to go on that “date” / dinner and if you are nerdy as you say you are here is how to play it safe:

On the day be even more nerdy towards her than usual and failing to put her off like that, then suddenly switch to extremely smart and say the magic word “No”…    … that’s like how I would handle this.

I'd rather die a natual death with a clear MGTOW conscience somewhere off the grid than one within "modern" civilisation with a big stress mark on my forehead and a couple of dozen tubes plugged into my body. Back to the plantation..? Me..? Hey, literally: I won't ever fucking kid myself...YZERLMNTSIC

[– Deleted on Request –Spectator 936]

KingOfTheSea:

 

She’s just another example of women are really after, and we know what that is, don’t we?  (It ain’t love……)

 

Equally as disgusting is how amused the reporter is about it.  However, considering that she’s working for ABC (which some wag referred to as the All Broads Channel, considering how much of its programs are about women), I’m not entirely surprised.

 

[finallyfreeParticipant 341]

Hey Ludophile sometimes women do this to see what people are saying about them at their former job . I  know this from experience. A couple years ago a pharmacy tech that worked with me got fired due to company cut backs on all tech’s. She then started stopping by a few months later to talk to me.  At first I thought she wanted to simply catch up but she would always eventually ask “what are people saying about me? “who else got fired”? etc…  The narcissistic female doesn’t like the idea of not knowing if people are gossiping about her sudden departure from work. I could be totally wrong but there were a few red flags in your post.   Brain Pilots analysis is what you should focus on ( very good reply ), more than likely she is looking for a temporary wallet since she is now unemployed.

What’s strange is she started flirting with you a couple months ago? So I started thinking maybe she is really into him? Nawwww doubt it ( not trying to be mean) she probably realized she was going to be fired soon and started getting her suckers in line early. A couple of options:  Run like hell-  sorry hun no date, or pop some red pills and go on the date. If you sense she is full of s~~~ just cease all contact- simple. No harm no foul. What do you have to lose?

AND DEFINITELY DO THIS:    “Dinner? Wonderful! I haven’t had a home cooked meal that I didn’t prepare myself in AGES! That would be wonderful. Thanks. I’ll bring dessert. And what time should i be there?”.

Keymaster that is brilliant. Kind of funny because I actually started saying that to women a few months ago (because I really do want someone else to cook for me – lol)

[sidecarParticipant 35837]

This is just financial monkeybranching.  Her last branch snapped a little prematurely so she’s grabbing for her next branch fast.  Doubtless you are just one of a number of possible next branches she’s grasping for.  BrainPilot pretty much nailed that in his analysis.

However I don’t see the point in politely turning her down (and believe me, you want to turn her down).  You don’t work with this woman any more, and you sure as hell don’t want a relationship with her, so what’s the point of watering down your rejection to preserve her precious feelings?

So don’t bother with being polite when you reject her.  Don’t be unnecessarily rude either.  What you want to be is definite.  As other men see through her monkeybranching and reject her she is going to become ever more aggressive and manipulative about latching onto one of the remainders.  If you don’t make you rejection 100% clear to her she will keep pestering you trying to wear you down.  Who has time for that?

[Author]

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