Home › Forums › Marriage & Divorce › Reflections of the wall
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ForeverDone 2 years, 5 months ago.
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I am still cleaning out her crap she left; photos and such. Believe it or not, still hard to get rid of, but I am pushing through. Had photos of her during dating, nude photos, etc. She was 5’3” 112 LBS with huge t~~~. Fast forward to two years ago, she’s 168 – 172 LBS. Always wore makeup or something nice, turned into walking around in a large shirt, forest bush, and no fake-up.
It’s just crazy what time does to a woman… It may be why they try to get married so fast. I think instinctively they know their beauty has reached their apex and heading down south. Well, at least the modern woman seems to.
I guess, one can call that karma.
Believe it or not, still hard to get rid of, but I am pushing through.
Stay strong. If it helps, put everything in a box, tape it shut and store it somewhere where you won’t see it on a regular basis. You can discard it at a later point but at least the stuff won’t be around you anymore.
I sold most of her s~~~ that was of value to help pay for the legal fees. However, I am finding it hard to sell the wedding ring and wedding gifts she bought me. I have it in the safe deposit box at the bank. At least it is gold, so it will go up in value. Prob. put the rest of her s~~~ there too. I would be lying if I said it didn’t hurt looking at this crap, but someone has too.
Prob. put the rest of her s~~~ there too. I would be lying if I said it didn’t hurt looking at this crap, but someone has too.
That sounds like a good idea. The emotional pain will go away. Just remember that it is transient. Hang in there.
Amen my brother. Amen.
Anonymous13The very act of getting rid of her s~~~ will help a lot.
It really does.
It’s a symbolic thing.
Each item you lose or get rid of breaks emotional bonds.
It’s like clutter clearing it breaks invisible psychological ties with the clutter and why you feel so much better and mentally LIGHTER after a good clear out.
Lose her s~~~ bro.
It’s hard but you’ll feel better AFTER the event.
I put my ring in a collection pail for Salvation Army around Christmas a few years after the fact. Felt exilerating.
skip the cavernous vag and go your own way
At least it is gold, so it will go up in value.
Not trying to contradict you, but it will not go up in value. It will remain at the same value it is now. It is just the currency that will go down in value.
A man shouldn't make his life's objective to be on the side of the majority, but to avoid finding himself in the ranks of the insane. (Marcus Aurelius)
Anonymous2Of course it hurts looking at that stuff FD! You’re a man with actual emotions. You look at an object, picture, etc. It triggers a memory and sometimes it’s a smile sometimes its pain. All part of the healing process. It’s hard because you see something and remember a fun time you had with a woman, then the thoughts come in about how they took it all away. You want to destroy it all, but then a little of yourself gets destroyed to. Save those things and one day you’ll look at them and pain is gone.
This helped me with relationships.
I just remember the good times, the pictures of them when they were hot and young. I let the rest go. Everything is on loan here anyway, you take nothing but memories. Only keep the good ones.
It’s their loss, when they are old if they were still the same person mentally you would keep them. Now they are just fat old ladies with a bad attitude and cats. Yuk.
Sorry to hear about that dude.
All I can say, time does heal. In my case, I gave most of her stuff back within a few months (in not within a few days), she decided to walk out thinking (a) she could do better (b) I would come crawling back. After the years of work and stress, giving her a life of leisure, whilst she didn’t give anything in return except complain and gripe about things she didn’t have (as opposed to what she did have). For me, the sooner the better.
I did have a few things that weren’t her’s but reminded me of her, and like you, they were photo’s, a watch given as a marriage gift by friends. I gave her the bits of jewellery that I had bought for her that she didn’t initially take. Mainly symbolic, as it had nothing to do with money, or the item. I just didn’t want to be reminded of it.
Looking at the few items left that do remind me of her which I found when clearing out, it doesn’t hurt as much now, but equally doesn’t really fill me with any great joy or satisfaction.
It depends on what you are like as a person I suppose. In all honesty I would say get rid of everything. But sometimes, initially, it’s easier to put it into boxes and out of the way.
Best thing I did was stopped giving a s**t about her. I don’t hate her, just don’t give a f**k. Got on with my life, and was far more successful (not just about money). And that is the one thing she hates (I am told).
D. G. I. Don't. Get. Involved. (Be happy, and stress not)
SELL ALL HER CRAP !!
Remember, it was given to you under “false pretenses”. She was looking for a long term meal ticket and you were looking for the blue pill fulfillment of the “love of your life”.
It didn’t/couldn’t work out that way for the both of ya so time to move on and live YOUR LIFE !!
Why does your life NEED wedding bands ?
These are symbols of imprisonment, NOTHING MORE !!
I could care LESS about pictures, wedding pictures, cards, jewelry etc.
The Women you married is NOT the Women you divorced !!
In a World of Justin Beibers Be a Johnny Cash
The very act of getting rid of her s~~~ will help a lot.
It really does.
It’s a symbolic thing.
Each item you lose or get rid of breaks emotional bonds.
It’s like clutter clearing it breaks invisible psychological ties with the clutter and why you feel so much better and mentally LIGHTER after a good clear out.
Lose her s~~~ bro.
It’s hard but you’ll feel better AFTER the event.
Only have a few things left of her “gifts” over the years. Amazed on what she spent on things. I will be at amiss if I didn’t say at that time, she was a strong partner. A new woman emerged at 40 and the s~~~ hit the fan.
Moving on takes time and strength. I have both. At least, I learned not to repeat this again.
At least it is gold, so it will go up in value.
Not trying to contradict you, but it will not go up in value. It will remain at the same value it is now. It is just the currency that will go down in value.
It’s a Tiffany ring. The jeweler I brought it to told me to hold on and it will pay dividends in ten years. I don’t know too much about this Tiffany crap, as she loved Tiffany and those other lux brands. However, in general, you are correct. Inflation and money printing will dilute the dollar’s buying power.
Of course it hurts looking at that stuff FD! You’re a man with actual emotions. You look at an object, picture, etc. It triggers a memory and sometimes it’s a smile sometimes its pain. All part of the healing process. It’s hard because you see something and remember a fun time you had with a woman, then the thoughts come in about how they took it all away. You want to destroy it all, but then a little of yourself gets destroyed to. Save those things and one day you’ll look at them and pain is gone.
This helped me with relationships.
Very true. Working through the mess.
I just remember the good times, the pictures of them when they were hot and young. I let the rest go. Everything is on loan here anyway, you take nothing but memories. Only keep the good ones.
It’s their loss, when they are old if they were still the same person mentally you would keep them. Now they are just fat old ladies with a bad attitude and cats. Yuk.
Amazing how most turn this way. Heck, she predicted she’d become a cat lady. Who knows. Perhaps this will be true. When I bumped into her the other day, she looks like she lost weight. She froze like a statue. I just smirked and rose my eyebrow and kept moving.
Sorry to hear about that dude.
All I can say, time does heal. In my case, I gave most of her stuff back within a few months (in not within a few days), she decided to walk out thinking (a) she could do better (b) I would come crawling back. After the years of work and stress, giving her a life of leisure, whilst she didn’t give anything in return except complain and gripe about things she didn’t have (as opposed to what she did have). For me, the sooner the better.
I did have a few things that weren’t her’s but reminded me of her, and like you, they were photo’s, a watch given as a marriage gift by friends. I gave her the bits of jewellery that I had bought for her that she didn’t initially take. Mainly symbolic, as it had nothing to do with money, or the item. I just didn’t want to be reminded of it.
Looking at the few items left that do remind me of her which I found when clearing out, it doesn’t hurt as much now, but equally doesn’t really fill me with any great joy or satisfaction.
It depends on what you are like as a person I suppose. In all honesty I would say get rid of everything. But sometimes, initially, it’s easier to put it into boxes and out of the way.
Best thing I did was stopped giving a s**t about her. I don’t hate her, just don’t give a f**k. Got on with my life, and was far more successful (not just about money). And that is the one thing she hates (I am told).
The first step in moving on, at least what I’ve read is to forgive her, and I do. I wish her the best. I am not spiteful.
One thing I am selling is the wedding present I gave her. She never took care of it and it cost me a lot. She took it and threw it in a draw, so I took it back. I am repairing it and then going to sell it. I took it of great disrespect that she wouldn’t wear it. It was a vintage watch from a lux brand. I saved up months for it. She said too many women were eyeing her watch so she never wore it. BS. It’s a stainless steel watch. She had no problem wearing diamond solitaire earrings. Boy… the money I wasted on her.. Still feel like a fool. Never again.
I have her stupid old Iphone too. Debating on sending it to her or not. I do not want to give her ideas on me trying to contact her. Her birthday is coming up. Maybe send it then.
SELL ALL HER CRAP !!
Remember, it was given to you under “false pretenses”. She was looking for a long term meal ticket and you were looking for the blue pill fulfillment of the “love of your life”.
It didn’t/couldn’t work out that way for the both of ya so time to move on and live YOUR LIFE !!
Why does your life NEED wedding bands ?
These are symbols of imprisonment, NOTHING MORE !!
I could care LESS about pictures, wedding pictures, cards, jewelry etc.
The Women you married is NOT the Women you divorced !!
Yea, you make a point. It’s not what it’s cracked up to be. That’s for s~~~ sure.
Anonymous13I have her stupid old Iphone too. Debating on sending it to her or not. I do not want to give her ideas on me trying to contact her. Her birthday is coming up. Maybe send it then.
Sending her old obsolete stuff on her birthday isn’t going to give her ideas?
Oh man, you got to stop with this.
No, just NO.
ZERO CONTACT.
GHOST.
If you want to move on fully there’s no other way.
All I’m hearing here, is her still renting a lot of space in your head.
I have her stupid old Iphone too. Debating on sending it to her or not. I do not want to give her ideas on me trying to contact her. Her birthday is coming up. Maybe send it then.
DO NOT send her anything.
DO NOT wish her happy birthday.
Be STRONG.
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