Red Pill Depression

[Wandering MGHOWParticipant 551]

I’ve been a MGHOW for officially over a year now (but most of my life unofficially) and lately I’m getting really depressed about the future. As much as I hate to say it, without the need for women in my life there doesn’t seem to be much motivation for anything. For example, I work out and diet properly in hopes of getting an amazing physique. But when I stop to think about it, I wonder why I even bother. The male physique at its best is a beautiful sight, but other than that, what is the purpose? So that I can take selfies of myself? Gawk at myself in the mirror? Who will ever see it? I won’t ever share it with anyone. I hardly have sex these days (by choice) and I don’t see this changing any time soon. So why look so good and work so hard if I won’t ever have the need to impress a girl? Why even bother to get those braces to fix my teeth up? So that I can eventually be an attractive male? For who exactly? Myself?

Then there’s money. I couldn’t care less about material possessions and only want the bills to be paid so that I have freedom. I don’t need jewelry, fancy cars, or anything else. Just my basic needs in a basic condo and I’d be set for life. Since I’m not a blue-pill pussy chaser, there isn’t much of a need to drive myself forward and strive for more. I’m not trying to attract gold diggers and c~~~s anyway, so it works out, but it still is a depressing fact.

So how does one cope with all of this? While I like you guys and consider you all like brothers in some ways, I have to wonder if you’re all there is to life. Having cookouts, drinking beers, and watching sports with guys like you for the rest of my life? Sounds lame. But since I’ve been unplugged from the Matrix for a while now, I’m well aware that the alternative isn’t any better (the alternative being marrying/dating a c~~~ and being a blue-pill loser forever). So herein lies the problem. BOTH futures seem pretty f~~~ing grim, and that’s what causes my depression.

Now that I know the true nature of females, I could never be with one or have kids with one no matter how bad things ever got. I’ll always know in the back of my mind that she has ulterior motives and that she will most likely leave me/cheat on me for the slightest thing and not display an ounce of loyalty, all while nagging me and draining me of my money. AWALT. On the flip side, being alone, watching sports, hanging with the fellas, and working out and being as attractive as I can be until the day I die also seems lame. Its not bad now in my 20’s, but is this really what my future holds for me? Continue to improve myself, become awesome in many ways (physically, financially, mentally) and then NEVER share it with anyone other than a few buddies? What is the point of any of it? I have nobody to impress, so why do I need to look good and make a lot of money? I know some of you will say “you don’t”, and I guess that’s exactly what I find depressing.

The red pill is a hard pill to swallow. I’ve been unplugged for quite some time now, but it still depresses me every now and then. There just really doesn’t seem like a purpose for much. I could become the most awesome human alive. An Arnold-like physique, Lots of money and cool toys/tech, Wikipedia-esque knowledge stored in my head about tons of topics, etc. But who or what would it all be for? So that I can go on walks with my dog (who doesn’t talk), occasionally travel, hang out with a few buddies and play video games/discuss topics, and take selfies of myself? Cool.

Life is pointless. Please give me some advice.

[Anonymous 54]

The question of porpose.I know where your at. Its hard to over come the desire to have a mission. A mission to pleaese a woman.But in time you will see that pleaseing yourself is a mission.You stay in shape to be healthy. You earn money,bank it for when your old.(you dont want to end up like broke old sage do you?)Life is to be enjoyed,just for your own worldy experience. My dog died four years ago. Do not take things for granted.

[505vikingoParticipant 521]

Brother,

You are thinking way to much. You train physically to enjoy the assets you earn. Your MANsion is your fort of solitude and security that will never be taken from you because you are a professional bachelor. You are a lone wolf who runs with our pack.

I was in a relationship for eight years and have now been a bachelor for seven years. I have no nagging, complaining, or negativity in my life anymore. Be an awesome son/uncle/brother etc. with your free time. Do good deeds, love, and spend time with your dog etc.

The alternative is to date, marry, divorce and get raped financially at some point. “Enjoy the ride” and don’t get down. The transition to the MGTOW lifestyle takes a while. You are in the process of creating a better overall life for yourself now.

I am in my mid forties. I have never been happier, wealthier, and more emotionally fulfilled. Go to school, learn a language, volunteer at a charity you feel strongly about etc. Most importantly, be a Man and Go Your Own Way. Life will only get better as you experience more.

Trust me, you are in your twenties still. Just watch your buddies start getting divorce raped, child support raped, and made homeless by their former true loves. That is loneliness. Be strong and press on no matter what. Make wise choices and you will look back and love your life as I do mine. It only gets better Brother!

[Anonymous 54]

@505. Well said Brother.

[MonkeyMindParticipant 5340]

It will pass, i went through a similar phase. These days i do many of the same things i did before. The only difference is that i now do them for myself and because i get enjoyment out of it rather than what i might gain.

I’ve become a right selfish bastard when it comes to doing what i want and i’m 100% happier for it.

[505vikingoParticipant 521]

Thank you Old Sage. We must take care of our own.

[FrankyParticipant 2338]

Wandering MGHOW wrote:

Continue to improve myself, become awesome in many ways (physically, financially, mentally) and then NEVER share it with anyone other than a few buddies? What is the point of any of it? I have nobody to impress, so why do I need to look good and make a lot of money?I have nobody to impress, so why do I need to look good and make a lot of money? I know some of you will say “you don’t”, and I guess that’s exactly what I find depressing.

Well….you don’t..
If you’re going to get great at something just to impress people don’t do it.

Most of the times someone became truly great at something wasn’t because he was aiming to become great.
He just actually liked doing it.
And since you like doing it you do it as much as you can because….you like it.
And after doing it over and over and over you get the slight bonus of becoming great at it.

I’m currently playing Diablo 2.
F~~~ing lame right?
I like it.If i was the last person on earth i’d still sit down and play some Diablo 2.

You simply haven’t found what you like yet.
And that’s normal just walk around and try different stuff, you’ll get to know yourself soon worry not.

[RoyDalParticipant]

This too shall pass.

Depression is one of the psychological phases every man must go through before accepting his future. It was not the first (I’m guessing) and it will not be the last.

To wit: the five stages of grief: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/K%C3%BCbler-Ross_model

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[EntropyParticipant 902]

Bingo! It IS all pointless. We ARE all just biding our time till we die.

Most people don’t ever realize how unfathomably meaningless it all is, how your body is just a bag’o’guts, and every thought you’ll ever have is just an electrochemical reaction between the non-living molecules that make up your brain.

Just try not to think about it.

"Compare your lives to mine and then kill yourselves" -BBR

[The_YoungParticipant 1073]

working out and being as attractive as I can be until the day I die also seems lame

The second you get a girlfriend you say goodbye to that anyways. Everyone knows the second you get into a relationship you start to eat like s~~~ and stop working out.

Don’t know why I’m starting off with that.

But I’m going through the same s~~~ you’re going through. I don’t think its hitting me as hard as you are, but what’s really helped me is I have to set life goals for myself. Make that my purpose. Where would you like to see yourself in 20 years? Make that your goal. Here’s mine:

-Develop leadership abilities, and become an expert in dealing with people (i’m reading a book called How to win friends and influence people).
-Save up enough for a down payment on a house and rent it out (I’ve got a few years of work before I can make this happen
-Become fit and muscular (I’m doing P90X everyday. DO YOUR BEST FORGET THE REST.)
-Stop caring about the pussy. It’s only gonna get in the way. (I still love having sex and I will probably never stop, that’s part of being an MGHOW. I can go whatever way I want, as long as its not the one that society is forcing me to go on.)

Brother, we need to stick together.

[hellraiderParticipant 2837]

Ahh, the red pill malaise, the nihilistic reality of the world.

It sucks to be able to see the world clearly, to see there is no higher purpose in life other than survival and reproduction.

Lets face it, we are just naked, psychotic apes (lets say 80% of the human population, the mgtows here are an exception).

Its the ultimate irony, to be stuck in this planet with 80% of stupid, ignorant, violent, psychopatic apes.

Hell is the impossibility of reason.

We truly are stuck in hell, submerged in a crowd of faceless, brainless, walking dead zombies looking for the next icrap or reality show…

[John Woods 13Participant 2855]

You say you’ve been out of the matrix for a while now, but you see, your brain is still hard wired on the matrix logarithm: man is a social animal -> outside society man is irrelevant -> society decides the man’s worth.
So, you may have stopped playing the game, but you still try to apply the rules of the old game to the new MGTOW life.
Don’t worry though, this is not new to many of our brothers here. Many of us felt the same way. A huge void growing within us when we finally took our last pill and found ourselves asking “What now?”.
The problem is that we’ve been indoctrinated since birth that our self worth and our “value” can only be quantified by third parties:

Wandering MGHOW wrote:

So why look so good and work so hard if I won’t ever have the need to impress a girl?

Wandering MGHOW wrote:

Continue to improve myself, become awesome in many ways (physically, financially, mentally) and then NEVER share it with anyone other than a few buddies? What is the point of any of it?

Now, figuring out how to get yourself out of this dark hole will not be easy, but you already asked yourself the right question:

Wandering MGHOW wrote:

For who exactly? Myself?

YES! Yourself. Be the best you can be, for YOURSELF! (…and a few buddies)
Why would it be nobler or more desirable to be the best for someone else? Why would you rather be THE BEST for someone who most likely will not appreciate your hard work and sacrifice? Why be the best at anything if you cannot enjoy the fruits of your labor?

Ask yourself about most of the great men in history. In most cases their peers and their generation DID NOT comprehend them and they were treated like s~~~. They became THE BEST and remained in history IN SPITE of others. They did what they did because they wanted to do it for themselves.

rant over.
The trick is to just allow yourself time to figure out what it is that you would desire. After that your motivation will come back and you will have the freedom and the time to get it.

The answer is NO. “I could but I won’t”. Memini murum!

[KeymasterKeymaster]

This is a VERY good topic and an excellent point Thank you for bringing it. I steer away from telling others what they NEED to do …. but you really need to understand you have been socialized to think this way – since the crib.

The system is designed for you to feel this way — like there “is no point” unless you’re getting female validation.

They WANT you to think that.
They PREFER you to think that.
They even act like you SHOULD think that.

But imagine the day when you STOP thinking that.

Wandering MGHOW wrote:

without the need for women in my life there doesn’t seem to be much motivation for anything.

Let’s take women out of the equation for a moment.

I had ONE terrific “mentor”. A male teacher who eventually was a peer when I grew up, and we worked together. Then he became a “friend”…. and I celebrated Christmas day with his family 2 years in a row. And then he died.

NOBODY’s approval mattered to me as much as his. I drew a TREMENDOUS amount of motivation from his approval. Just one “good” was like rocket fuel to me. It meant I did exceptionally well. But then one day, he was gone.

…. and the motivation had to come from somewhere else.
It had to come from within.

It had to come from within. I could no longer be inspired by an external code of honor or ethics and had to choose my own, and change to begin living by those standards. He is still with me today and taught me fundamentals I will never be rid of, but now the “rules” and code by which I live (and know what’s right) come from myself.

I now live up to my OWN standards. I have no choice.

It was not easy, or immediate and it took YEARS to get away from an approval-seeking mentality. GOD I wish I did it sooner, but he had to die for me to do it. I don’t “look up” to anyone anymore. There is nobody there to look up to. It’s just me. I don’t have a father (or this second father) any more.

You will learn (or be forced) to toss away an external approval-seeking mentality over time. It’s not “depressing” to know here is no “mommy” or umbrella above you. It’s actually wonderful that you can establish a “code” by which you live, and you live up to THOSE standards that were established and chosen by you – regardless of who influenced you.

I found it terrifying at first. But not “depressing”. Maybe a little disappointing, because I didn’t know where the motivation was supposed to come from anymore. Nobody told me this. I had to discover it.

Wandering MGHOW wrote:

when I stop to think about it, I wonder why I even bother. The male physique at its best is a beautiful sight, but other than that, what is the purpose? So that I can take selfies of myself? Gawk at myself in the mirror? Who will ever see it? I won’t ever share it with anyone. I hardly have sex these days (by choice) and I don’t see this changing any time soon. So why look so good and work so hard if I won’t ever have the need to impress a girl? Why even bother to get those braces to fix my teeth up? So that I can eventually be an attractive male? For who exactly? Myself?

Yes.

But you don’t HAVE to get rid of anyone. You don’t HAVE to stop dating and if hot babes are “the motivation” for you to go to the gym, then draw motivation from whatever you need to draw motivation from.

When I eat French fries, I “fat-shame” myself to the gym. That’s a silly motivation but it works. I don’t go because hot chicks, I go because I tell myself french fries are very bad for me and I need to sweat them out.

Wherever you create the motivation from is OK.

If it’s “depressing”, you’re choosing it wrong. As “bitter” as it is, it should be f~~~ing AMAZING or there is no point in choosing it.

Wandering MGHOW wrote:

Life is pointless. Please give me some advice.

Life is not pointless. It’s…. what you make it.

Let women “find themselves”. (you always hear them speak like that)
Men CREATE themselves.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[Jan SobieskiParticipant 28791]

My mood toggles.

You live for yourself.

Men can like cats, too.

Love is just alimony waiting to happen. Visit mgtow.com.

[globemasterParticipant 443]

Hi wandering,
we are in the same boat. You have just typed whatever i feel.

My 30 years of life starting from age of 5 was to get marry have children and lead a happy life.But after some bitter things in life i took the red pill. Now i dont know what to do, but have some ideas.

1. Earn a lot of money through business(this is enough to keep you occupied) and get rich, buy sports and luxury cars( i love cars and driving) and other finer things in life.

2. Charity

3. Sleep with a lot of women, but sometimes i feel disgusted and stupid for this.

4.Become famous

Like robert downey jr in iron man, but in a matured way. I like to live like that, i dont think if i marry i can achieve that.

[Wandering MGHOWParticipant 551]

I’ve been busy a few days and didn’t have a chance to respond.

505vikingo wrote:

Brother,

You are thinking way to much. You train physically to enjoy the assets you earn. Your MANsion is your fort of solitude and security that will never be taken from you because you are a professional bachelor. You are a lone wolf who runs with our pack.

I was in a relationship for eight years and have now been a bachelor for seven years. I have no nagging, complaining, or negativity in my life anymore. Be an awesome son/uncle/brother etc. with your free time. Do good deeds, love, and spend time with your dog etc.

The alternative is to date, marry, divorce and get raped financially at some point. “Enjoy the ride” and don’t get down. The transition to the MGTOW lifestyle takes a while. You are in the process of creating a better overall life for yourself now.

I am in my mid forties. I have never been happier, wealthier, and more emotionally fulfilled. Go to school, learn a language, volunteer at a charity you feel strongly about etc. Most importantly, be a Man and Go Your Own Way. Life will only get better as you experience more.

Trust me, you are in your twenties still. Just watch your buddies start getting divorce raped, child support raped, and made homeless by their former true loves. That is loneliness. Be strong and press on no matter what. Make wise choices and you will look back and love your life as I do mine. It only gets better Brother!

Thank you, this was encouraging. The alternative is truly a f~~~ing nightmare even though its sometimes nice to fantasize about. I can never go back. Not many of us can. I just can’t wait to get the f~~~ away from my mother and move into my MANsion. Hopefully 2017 will finally be my year for that.

Entropy wrote:

Bingo! It IS all pointless. We ARE all just biding our time till we die.

Most people don’t ever realize how unfathomably meaningless it all is, how your body is just a bag’o’guts, and every thought you’ll ever have is just an electrochemical reaction between the non-living molecules that make up your brain.

Just try not to think about it.

Uhhh, well that’s not the most pleasant thought. But its true though, sadly. F~~~ it, we are just apes on a floating rock after all. Nothing more, nothing less.

Keymaster wrote:

…. and the motivation had to come from somewhere else.
It had to come from within.

It was not easy, or immediate and it took YEARS to get away from an approval-seeking mentality. GOD I wish I did it sooner, but he had to die for me to do it. I don’t “look up” to anyone anymore. There is nobody there to look up to. It’s just me. I don’t have a father (or this second father) any more.

You will learn (or be forced) to toss away an external approval-seeking mentality over time. It’s not “depressing” to know here is no “mommy” or umbrella above you. It’s actually wonderful that you can establish a “code” by which you live, and you live up to THOSE standards that were established and chosen by you – regardless of who influenced you.

I found it terrifying at first. But not “depressing”. Maybe a little disappointing, because I didn’t know where the motivation was supposed to come from anymore. Nobody told me this. I had to discover it.

But you don’t HAVE to get rid of anyone. You don’t HAVE to stop dating and if hot babes are “the motivation” for you to go to the gym, then draw motivation from whatever you need to draw motivation from.

When I eat French fries, I “fat-shame” myself to the gym. That’s a silly motivation but it works. I don’t go because hot chicks, I go because I tell myself french fries are very bad for me and I need to sweat them out.

Wherever you create the motivation from is OK.

If it’s “depressing”, you’re choosing it wrong. As “bitter” as it is, it should be f~~~ing AMAZING or there is no point in choosing it.

Life is not pointless. It’s…. what you make it.

Let women “find themselves”. (you always hear them speak like that)
Men CREATE themselves.

Ever since creating this topic and reading the responses, I’ve been doing some thinking. A lot of what you said resonated with me, KM. I have been going hard as motherf~~~er in the gym the last week or so. Its like I found this newfound motivation that stems from within. I don’t give a f~~~ about impressing girls with my body, now I just want to be built like a f~~~ing brick s~~~ house FOR MYSELF. Why you ask? Well I don’t f~~~ing know. I just do. There really isn’t a point, but I just have this urge to do it. Same goes for making money, getting my teeth fixed, and doing other s~~~. I am learning that I should just want to do it FOR ME, and so that’s exactly what I will do. F~~~ everyone else. Let me look like a prime Brad Pitt, mixed with Arnold’s body, with Bill Gates’ bank account. I don’t need to share it with anyone or anything other than myself. The man in the mirror is the only one that I’m in competition with these days.

The other thing you mentioned about drawing inspiration from whatever is also spot on. Today I ate a slice of pizza. I knew it was bad for me before I ate it, but I still ate it. And now because I did, I’m going to f~~~ing DESTROY myself in the gym tomorrow to make sure I burn those calories and carbs away.

[RedDawnParticipant 1391]

Find a hero. Someone you want to be like. Philosophers, athletes, veterans etc. Pick up some books and learn about others. I think as humans we have a natural desire to want to believe in something more than ourselves because sometimes our will falters. It’s times like this you want to measure your values up against your heroes because that gives you a sense of progression in life. That’s partly why religion is so popular, people feel they have a sanctuary in something/someone greater than themselves.

Also on the fitness front, you can get stronger so that you can be healthier when your older. Wouldn’t you want greater independence from having a stronger, healthier body? People talk about living till their 100, but what about the quality of life? If you can drop down and do pushups till the day you die, you’ll be laughing. It won’t be fun if your stuck in a recliner and people have to put you in a bath on wheels to bathe you. So think of working out as a long term investment in your health.

I don’t think we realize how happy we are until we lose the things we take for granted. For example, would you cut your arms off for a millions dollars? 500 million? If you said no then you already value your health much higher than money! The difference is there is no instant gratification or excitement, like one gets with ‘love'(reward pathway). The happiness here is from avoiding unnecessary suffering.

Just a few thoughts.

Courage is the key to life itself - Morgan Freeman

[Zoom66Participant 57]

Brother, what I see happening here is you getting a bit mixed up on what going your own way means. It truly means your OWN way. Whatever it is you think you know about MGTOW, make sure you personalize it to YOUR life. This philosophy is about letting go of everyone else’s expectations, and some subliminal traps that linger in your 1.0 mind.

If you tell yourself you will NEVER find female companionship to any extent, you are torturing yourself for no good reason. If you have confirmed that you are living a MGTOW lifestyle, you are guaranteeing that you are cutting your losses from marriage and likely parenthood early. You are also taking a healthy approach to living for yourself instead of pursuits that only lead to throwing wagers in the sexual marketplace. If you’ve removed yourself from these shackles, why stress about never dating, having sex or integrating forms of female companionship? Remember, you are going your OWN way, you live your life as YOU see fit. If you meet a woman that has good morals, values, a code of conduct, and respects your solitude when you require it, why withold yourself from an opportunity to engage in an adult partnership? Do not let anyone tell you you’re less of a MGTOW for embracing GOOD, QUALITY companionship. At the end of the day, it is about recognizing that she and you are separate entities.

The point of this response is that it’s unneeded to torture yourself with what you WON’T have, when you really don’t know will happen. What you do is you continue going your way, kicking ass in the gym, and living for you. If a female (companion) admires your unique qualities and self-derived fortitude for life, she should be welcomed to follow along as company so long as she does not tamper with your independent focus. If all works properly, that could be the most authentic female relationship a man and woman can have (one that includes MGTOW principals.)

YOU are the gatekeeper of the type of company that comes into your life (not them anymore.) Is it possible that living alone forever may occur? Sure. If so, accept that. But if women seem uniquely fascinated by your courage and commitment to self, accept that the lifestyle you’re embarking on is viscerally attractive to the opposite sex also.

[Anonymous 0]

When I was in my 20s, I spent 7 years in the Marines. We were traveling a lot and doing shiftwork, so most of us didn’t have much time or opportunity for relationships. So we spent a lot of time at the gym or doing long runs. We were all in excellent shape and just figured it was normal to be that way.

After the military, I had two wives for 10 years each. Both of them resented any time I put in at the gym; or they insisted on joining me at the gym, which meant I had to walk them through *their* exercises and couldn’t really get in a decent workout for myself. (Everything always had to be about them and their needs.) I still slipped in regular 3-mile runs at a minimum, but between the wives and long work hours, I was pretty fat by the time of my second divorce.

My second wife and I separated 8 years ago, and the biggest pleasure that I’ve enjoyed since then was just getting back to the gym and doing some real workouts again. I’ve dropped 70 pounds of fat, I do 20-mile bicycle rides most days (runner’s knee stopped me from running), I have weights and exercise machines scattered all around my house, and I’m starting to look really cut and lean again.

I’ve also been doing lots of other things. Last year it was shooting almost daily at the target range. The previous year it was swing and salsa dancing. The year before was kayaking and hiking. But the best of all is just to get in shape again, the way I was when I was young.

Also, being in shape makes me kind of an automatic alpha dog whenever I walk into a room of my peers. I’m always in much better shape than anyone else. In other words, getting in shape isn’t just for the mirror or for a few buddies. It’s an aura you carry with you everywhere you go. It’s how you hold yourself, how you walk, etc. It’s with you 24 hours a day. It’s good health when everyone else is starting to get fat and sick and broken down.

My younger brother has said to me on a couple occasions, “You know, I wish I had done it your way.” But I said to him, “You were always about your wife and kids. That’s what was important to you. So that’s where you put your priorities.” So now he’s old and has heart problems and recently got a hip replacement. I’ve been telling him for years to retire before his health fails him completely; he’ll be retiring later this summer.

Summary:

1) You don’t realize how important something like being in shape is until you lose it for a few decades. (Most wives just don’t want to give you that kind of free time.) Once you dump the wife, it’s the world’s greatest pleasure to work at it and get it back again.

2) Live an interesting and challenging life, and you’ll carry it with you everywhere you go. It’ll show up in confidence and bearing and posture, and people will look up to you. They’ll be getting old and broken down from serving others; you’ll be getting healthy and rich and confident from serving no one but yourself.

Everything’s relative. Carve out a life that’s interesting and fun for you and makes you proud, and you’ll see the difference between yourself and other people as time goes on. Everyone else will see it too. You’ll stand out. In other words, it’s not just for the mirror and a few friends. It’s life on a whole different plane of existence.

[Wandering MGHOWParticipant 551]

Zoom66 and Twostep, those were really motivational posts. Especially the part about being in shape when I’m older compared to all the other out of shape people I’ll be competing against in that age bracket. I just hope I’m not TOO attractive to the opposite sex by then. I don’t want desperate c~~~s crawling all over me in my 30’s and 40’s and beyond…

This year I’m going to get Invisalign, continue to beast at the gym, and get my first tattoo. All because I f~~~ing want to do it for myself and because I want to give off a special aura (like Twostep said). Not because I want to impress some bimbo.

Thanks guys.

[Author]

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