Home › Forums › Relations~~~s › Questions for guys who have been married.
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LastManStanding 3 years, 1 month ago.
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Glad to hear your forging your own way brother.
My experience was dated roughly two years. Married just a few months now.
As for my estimation of what went wrong. Falling for the idea of needing to provide and to be a good partner (ie; starts with dinners, gifts, vacations (these all became expected)- living together resulted in doing yardwork than housework to help out). I was an Alpha in my professional life. I ran into the fires, I ran towards the gun shots, but in my private life I became a beta somehow.My first indication was the wedding night… she was “tired”. In my mind I spent time, money, and energy to help her have “her” day. That was when it hit me this has nothing to do with me anymore its all about her and her wants. Fast forward less than 3 weeks there is 200k in debt she never told me about. I spent time on the internet looking up the usual as you said “tough it out” blogs, website, videos all about how a man should do the right thing (for her).
Luckily I stumbled upon this very website.
Reading through the stories and life experiences. While they were all different stories… the villain was the same.Time for the Prince to live happily ever after.
Holy s~~~ brother a few months? Get the hell out of there now!!!! Hire a moving company pack your s~~~ while she’s at work and just disappear get an annulment and move on with your life because I’ll tell you what the longer you stay the worse it’s going to be. You can get out of this practically unscathed unlike most men. Go go go go do not book back!!!!!
Be professional be polite but always have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
Just a little survey here-
How long did it go well for, how long did it ultimately last, and what in your estimation went wrong?
It went really well for 1-2 years. Well for 3. By year 4, I was seriously contemplating WTF had I done. What went wrong is that I didn’t feel like I was married to a partner, a contributor, a person who had any interest in making me happy or doing anything to help me out or for me. Sex was also stifled quite a bit and mouth kissing was completely out. The TV was also a silent killer. Fk TV!!
Anonymous24I guess I had enough of the mid length relationships when I was younger to notice that after the first year or so the sexual interest begins to fade a bit (on both sides, but mostly from the female), and after that it becomes more and more about material possessions, wealth, and your ambition and drive for most women, I always pulled the ripcord early. Interesting to hear all of your stories, I am sure it will be useful to many younger lurking future MGTOW. Unfortunately most people learn by their mistakes, but if this site and your stories keep just 5% more men from getting married, then it is a huge success.
For me it was simple, once I felt they were bringing the saddle and whip out of the barn I bailed. Also having done well with women when I was younger it always felt like there were plenty more out there so bouncing was not a big deal. However, I am sure this is not the experience for many guys, and they then can be sucked into the mess of it all more easily.
Ha, I said “sucked”, and that is likely the truth of it really.
How long did it go well for, how long did it ultimately last, and what in your estimation went wrong?
Married for 19, single for 6, and married for 10 more.
What’s wrong is monogamy. People are not dying in 30 years. It’s just too f~~~ing long to be with anyone (for both of you). The expectation of being married 60 years is easy to swallow when you 21 and you can’t even imagine turning 30. Turn 40 and you are both thinking what is the cost of this relationship. Same boring sex, nothing new to talk about and your programmed to accept this rut, but part of you knows your missing out on so much, and you’re starting to feel your age.” On his death bed even a Hindu thinks f~~~ I should have tried steak” ~Frank Gallagher
If you rescue a damsel in distress, all you will get is a distressed damsel.
Dated 7, married for 10, went south after 5. She got big and not sexually attractive anymore, we started growing apart and doing our own thing and eventually I moved away for work and that was the first step to the end. Happier now other than maybe the first year of marriage when everything was new and fun.
My story is different from most of you guys as I believe I married the closest thing to a Unicorn that you can find in today’s world.
If you want to know why that ended read my intro.
My Red Pill moments were due to previous narcististic girlfriends and the realisation that I wouldn’t find another Unicorn so better to go my own way.
But as a general answer to your question I would say 3 to 4 years at best is good, then you have to work out how (and why), you’re going to live the rest of your life together.
Most people have unerealistic expectations on both sides. When these illusions are shattered people split and put those same expectations on the new partner. I think there is an unspoken deal between partners that one will provide financial and physical protection and the other provides emotional and sexual support. When one or the other party can’t or won’t abide by this deal any longer the mariage is in trouble and people look for something better.
Only to find that the next arrangement breaks down the same way as the first.
I blame Hollywood BS about romantic love lasting for ever – it doesn’t- and consummerist unattainable lifestyle expectations – few can afford to keep up.
MGTOW will help the next generation of men avoid falling victim to this trap. Femminism will rob women of the ability to lay the trap in the first place.
It's Time to get Wise
I have never been married (thank god lol) but I have had some relationships where the woman acted like we were married I can share.
1. Dated a 25 year old , first 1.8 years were pretty good until she finds out I make good money some how (I usually hide that kind of stuff). She now demands I Pay for everything and take her out more because “You can afford it”… Bitch I can afford things because I do not spend wastefully and am good with money. Kicked her ass to the curb, she cries like a baby, I feel freedom.
2. Dated a 29 year old who moves in with me (ugh I know weak blue pill moment) after the 2nd year. The day she moves in she starts rearranging EVERYTHING to her liking… I am like “Hello what are you doing”. She claims the house does not flow well and she has a hard to ‘breathing’ in the house. Um seriously!?!?! She got the boot when she demanded I get rid of my guns because they thought they would “Shoot off at any moment”.
Those were some of the worst ones I have encountered.
Knowledge is power..... Don't waste your brain on bullshit
Just reading the posts above. How similar our experiences are. The bullet points are
1) she changes after marriage
2) after first child there is no sex until she wants a second child. Then no sex again
3) you come last, after her, the kids, her parents and her friends
4) you decide to die in that slavery or you get the f~~~ out.
Having made the monumental mistake of marrying and giving her kids, the only good thing I did was opt for the ‘get the f~~~ out option’.Lived together for about a year, then married for 7. Ignored the warning signs during our courtship – like how she would drink until she passed out, or the time I came home and found that she had replaced my dining room table without telling me. So as soon as we get married the real person emerges. Suddenly the woman who shared my hobbies lost all interest in them – in fact would tell me how stupid they were. She made good money but I was paying all our expenses. Shortly after the wedding I found that she was spending all her money on trinkets, like a zillion crystal picture frames for all her wedding photos. The house literally became a museum of our wedding day. But it wasn’t until after the kids were born and we were in marriage counseling that I discovered she had been hiding the fact that she was bipolar from me. Then came her abuse of alcohol and drugs and crazy overspending. Trying to make her happy cost me most all my savings and valuable possessions. She went to rehab, but it just got worse and worse. Of course no sex, no affection, nothing. Tried to hold it together for the kids but she wasn’t happy and kept pushing for a divorce. Near the end I discovered she had taken out a bunch of credit cards in my name and created a huge debt, which she is still in the process of paying off. Final straw was when I caught her cheating.
At first I thought divorce was like the end of the world, but now I couldn’t be happier. The divorce was amicable. She accepted responsibility for her debts and didn’t fight me over the personal property I brought into the marriage. Now I’m happier than I’ve ever been – nothing beats single life and I don’t have any interest in ever dating or marrying again. Tried dating for a while after the divorce, but it was a waste of time – too many liars and crazies and damaged bitter women out there, just not worth it. Then I discovered the red pill, and after what I’d been through it went down real smooth. Got custody of the kids a while ago due to my ex’s continued drug abuse. I love being a dad, it’s so much more rewarding than being a husband. Trouble is, when you have kids the crazy bitch is never really out of your life. She still has the power to create chaos and draw you into her web of misery through the children.
I’ve watched friends who had what looked like perfect marriages break up due to their wives unhappiness and cheating. I wouldn’t recommend marriage to anyone. It’s a bad legal contract that favors the woman and binds your happiness and fortunes to that of another person. For most of my life I had romantic illusions about women and thought sex should be part of a committed relationship. Women demolished those illusions, and now I understand why men just use women for sex. At least that makes some sense, but ‘committing” to a woman makes none.
I hate to say this but it also went downhill after I said I do. Mine was also a narcissistic, ego centric bitch. She got jealous over every little thing. If I stared in the direction of another lady she got jealous. Fortunately that was a faded memory. Noteworthy, I had three different relationships since my divorce and I’ve concluded they’re all trouble.
If it costs you your peace of mind, then it is too expensive.
It is good only until your utility runs out. Then you are DONE! For some it’s right after the “I do’s”. For me it was after the children were born, then she stopped even pretending to care about me. Once the children were in school she had no further use for me and it was “I’m not happy!”
Totally agree, my marriage was fine until the first child was born and she convinced me to let her stay at home and raise the children rather than go to work.
Once they were both in school full time she dropped them off at 9:00am, picked them up a 3:15PM and did literally nothing around the house in the six hours a day she had to herself. I ended up working full time, paid for everything and had to do all the housework, gardening and maintenance. She also made every excuse under the sun to avoid having sex with me, she was always too tired, ill or stressed and often went to bed early and pretended to be asleep.
She then felt she had lost her identity so joined a gym, lost weight, bought new clothes and started going out with the girls. I was selling a lot of things on eBay at the time to make extra money and she couldn’t even be bothered to post them for me even though she walked past the post office twice a day. She then befriended one of the dads at school and wanted me to help her sell his stuff on eBay which she was more than happy to post for him. This was the point where she was starting to befriend other men and was flirting with everyone to try and get SMV validation.
Obviously after this I got the “I am not happy”, “I need space”, “I love you, but I am not in love with you” and I eventually found out she was f~~~ing some guy she went to school with who contacted her on Facebook. Obviously she denies this, she tells everyone we parted as we took each other for granted and fell out of love.
This is the reality of marriage, you are a wallet and a slave until they feel your utility has run out. A temporary blip from the Alpha c~~~ carousel to gain a house, children and money .
For women, everything eventually boils down to Alpha Fucks, Beta Bucks.
It’s difficult to say, but I think cracks start to show soon after you ask her to marry you. It grows from there, just a little bit more. You see these things and think it’s not worth risking the marriage over, but then you really start to wonder. You think that it’s just a phase, you’ll get past it. Maybe it is, but something else comes up in it’s place.
I know that I made a ton of mistakes in trying to be the perfect husband, putting up with stuff the bothered me, etc. I had seen my parents go through much worse stuff then I went through, so I was confident that I could deal with it. I was shocked when she asked for a divorce, but in hindsight, I see everything now.
Really, I don’t think I could be so naïve anymore. I’ve seen and know too much. Women will say that I’m damaged. In a way, they are correct. I’m way past believing in the next girl, even if she’s telling the truth.
Ok. Then do it.
I had roughly one decent month of marriage.
It is good only until your utility runs out. Then you are DONE! For some it’s right after the “I do’s”. For me it was after the children were born, then she stopped even pretending to care about me. Once the children were in school she had no further use for me and it was “I’m not happy!”
Totally agree, my marriage was fine until the first child was born and she convinced me to let her stay at home and raise the children rather than go to work.
Once they were both in school full time she dropped them off at 9:00am, picked them up a 3:15PM and did literally nothing around the house in the six hours a day she had to herself. I ended up working full time, paid for everything and had to do all the housework, gardening and maintenance. She also made every excuse under the sun to avoid having sex with me, she was always too tired, ill or stressed and often went to bed early and pretended to be asleep.
She then felt she had lost her identity so joined a gym, lost weight, bought new clothes and started going out with the girls. I was selling a lot of things on eBay at the time to make extra money and she couldn’t even be bothered to post them for me even though she walked past the post office twice a day. She then befriended one of the dads at school and wanted me to help her sell his stuff on eBay which she was more than happy to post for him. This was the point where she was starting to befriend other men and was flirting with everyone to try and get SMV validation.
Obviously after this I got the “I am not happy”, “I need space”, “I love you, but I am not in love with you” and I eventually found out she was f~~~ing some guy she went to school with who contacted her on Facebook. Obviously she denies this, she tells everyone we parted as we took each other for granted and fell out of love.
This is the reality of marriage, you are a wallet and a slave until they feel your utility has run out. A temporary blip from the Alpha c~~~ carousel to gain a house, children and money .
Ah man that is rough, sorry to hear that bud especially how she went behind your back on Facebook! I just recently got hit up by a friend’s wife for a discreet encounter on Facebook. I have not talked to this friend of mine in a very long time but I still decided to teach this whore a lesson. Recorded all our conversations and sent the screenshots to my friend. I wish I could have seen the whores face when he confronted his wife with what I showed him.
Knowledge is power..... Don't waste your brain on bullshit
Dated for 6 years straight out of high school, been married for 14. Took me ten years in the marriage to wake up to reality – all due to mgtow.com. Wish I was surfing the net back then – life would have been different for me today.
Have two young kids .. and the only reason I still live in this hell. For me the sex dried up quite a bit after marriage (the bjs all but disappeared), and then it was max once a month sex after the first kid. Even for that I had to literally get rejected at least a few times – needless to say, it was completely boring with no effort from her. After a few years of constant rejection, I finally just stopped asking for it – now she initiates once in a blue moon and I just oblige. Have started to now spend more and more time by myself or with the kids.
The problem I see here is that there is no equality whatsoever – if you are a beta male, you just basically do whatever she says – go to work, pay the bills and follow commands. For close to ten years after marriage, I was listening to her type of music, going to stupid idiotic parties, and watching complete rubbish with her on TV. Before I met her, I was completely different, liked adventure sports, was fit and strong and read science books purely out of interest. I’m slowly getting those things back in my life now – and with every day, I feel more and more like a man again. Funny thing is that, for several years, I bought into the whole blue pill crap and if I saw my blue pill self on a screen now, I would literally throw up.
However hard this has been, I am still hopeful about the future and once the kids are off to college – I will be on my way. I just cant get myself to make my kids grow up in a broken household. So I’m putting money aside, keeping my head down and for the short term, making changes in my life and career which keep me away from her for as much time as possible. From my perspective, I’m faking MGTOW until I truly become one.
However hard this has been, I am still hopeful about the future and once the kids are off to college – I will be on my way. I just cant get myself to make my kids grow up in a broken household
Respect to you for that. I can only think of all the good men hanging on for the sake of their kids. I really couldn’t not stand it in the end but I respect those who do.
You are carving out as much of a MGTOW life as you can for now. That’s good.However hard this has been, I am still hopeful about the future and once the kids are off to college – I will be on my way. I just cant get myself to make my kids grow up in a broken household
Respect to you for that. I can only think of all the good men hanging on for the sake of their kids. I really couldn’t not stand it in the end but I respect those who do.
You are carving out as much of a MGTOW life as you can for now. That’s good.Man, I am rooting for you. I hope your prison sentence ends one day.
My small piece of advice is starting buying silver coins with cash and keep them far from her. Don’t let her know about them. Buy as many as you can. After your divorce is finalized you can cash them in for a nice little nest egg to rebuild your life. Start planning now. Get your ducks in a row and we will be here to support you when you pull the trigger (if she doesn’t first).
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