Questions for guys who have been married.

[Anonymous 24]

Just a little survey here-

How long did it go well for, how long did it ultimately last, and what in your estimation went wrong?

I have never been married, never will be. I am in my mid forties and it just is not going to happen. Not that I didn’t have plenty of opportunities over the years, especially when I was younger, I did really well with the ladies, just always have been the rebel type on many levels since I was a kid and never wanted to get married nor have kids. I am very curious as to how long some marriages lasted after they were basically over, and why did each individual guy “tough it out” and for how long after they knew it was over.

[PistolPeteParticipant 27143]

Excellent question man. I’m in the same boat 55 never married never will be. Of course John Glen and his wife were married for over 70 years.

[Anonymous 54]

Good for first year then….sex stops. What ever the reason, that will be the case.

She holds out

She lets herself go so you wont want to.

Then YOUR TRAPPED.

NEVER GET MARRIED

there no sex

HEED MY WARNING

[,Participant 1301]

Dated her 9 yrs.
Married 28 yrs.
Went well for two weeks. Went okay for 15 yrs. Had good plans.
POW! Went south badly at the 22 yr mark. I switched to 2nd shift. Bought her a pricey house.

Ultimately we had no common values, terrible communications, high resentment factors from all in-law relations. She never did say why.

Lived separately within the marriage a long time.
Last one for me. I’m happier than ever. I don’t even give a s~~~ about the money 40% of income and retirement. 6yrs alimony (of 9) until financial emancipation.

I’m free. I’m fit (lost 60 lbs) I’m having a lot of fun.
Lost all anger, lost a good paying job, Refused to hate. Learned to live small.
I ride, I tour, I’m happy at work and at home and even happy in the dentist chair!

Nothing could beat me down any farther than I had been. The Joy in surviving gave me the strength to start from a new day every day.
Having the time of my life. Kids and I are on great terms.

with joy/without hate

[Anonymous 6]

How did you react when she told you, “You can’t go out with the boys?”

How did you react when she told you, “Get rid of the sports car and buy a minivan?”

How did you react when she told you “Get rid of your guns, they scare me?”

How did you react when she told you,”Give me money for my hair and nails every other week?”

How did you react when she told you, “She didn’t want to have sex, she has a headache?”

How did you react when she told you, “Help me clean up the house, the in-laws are coming over?”

How did you react when she told you, “She wanted to talk, WHILE THE GAME WAS ON?”

How did you react when she told you, “It’s time for a bigger house?”

How did you react when she told you, “You need to bring in more money?”

[TaxGuyParticipant]

How long did it last: Counting dating, about 20 years.

How long did it go well: Off and on the first 10.

Where did it go wrong: I married the wrong person. She’s a narcissist and I’m low maintenance. That’s a recipe for disaster. It became all about her all the time.

Look, almost all women have a certain level of narcissism. Lot’s of guys too, but I’m not into guys so I don’t care. But she is a true borderline personality disorder narcissist. I remember her telling me “I don’t give a f~~~ what happens to you at work. You just need to hurry up and get home because I NEED HELP!” The woman that promised me she would never be a stay at home mom and then decided for herself that she wanted to be a stay at home mom. She thought it would be easy. Which I think it is, unless you are a narc. Then you can’t handle the fact that it isn’t all about you.

I remember reading something during the divorce. If you want something you have to give it. Meaning, if you want love you have to give love. If you want respect you have to give respect. You get the idea. When I read that it became crystal clear to me that she quit on me 10 years before I quit on her. It made it very easy to see that I was WAY better off without her. And when she tried to monkey-branch back to me, it was very easy to say no thanks.

Order the good wine

[Anonymous 5]

All downhill after a kid.

Same here. A sharp line dividing a girlfriend/life partner, to a wife.
I was just a husband/father figure after that.

Many describe it as “The Baby Blues” It really is a huge change to their hormones. From then on you’re told to put up with them and pander to them. To be a GOOD MAN!!!
I bought into the Blue Pill kool-aid, like millions of others trying to be good men.
Except for brief moments when they get something they want or are trying to get something they want,,,,they never turn back into NAWALTs.

[LexParticipant 117]

Glad to hear your forging your own way brother.

My experience was dated roughly two years. Married just a few months now.
As for my estimation of what went wrong. Falling for the idea of needing to provide and to be a good partner (ie; starts with dinners, gifts, vacations (these all became expected)- living together resulted in doing yardwork than housework to help out). I was an Alpha in my professional life. I ran into the fires, I ran towards the gun shots, but in my private life I became a beta somehow.

My first indication was the wedding night… she was “tired”. In my mind I spent time, money, and energy to help her have “her” day. That was when it hit me this has nothing to do with me anymore its all about her and her wants. Fast forward less than 3 weeks there is 200k in debt she never told me about. I spent time on the internet looking up the usual as you said “tough it out” blogs, website, videos all about how a man should do the right thing (for her).

Luckily I stumbled upon this very website.
Reading through the stories and life experiences. While they were all different stories… the villain was the same.

Time for the Prince to live happily ever after.

[Anonymous 54]

Lex wrote:

Time for the Prince to live happily ever after.

Nice!

[HitmanParticipant]

hey guys,
after the kid was born the ex nose dived in to crazy,
and never really came back.
i tried to make it work for the child’s well being.
i have zero guilt, as i exhausted myself,
tried everything ..
talked to therapist’s and lawyers..
they all basically said to kiss her royal ass.
.
and then she left, after two years of hell..
i was devastated at first,
then grew to be happier,
then found MGTOW..
now i’m playing the cards i hold real well.
not always easy, but worth it to be civil as possible.

[GrumpyParticipant]

Honestly.
I think both my marriages started the downhill slide immediately after I said “I Do”.
Then came the not so gradual “YOU WILL DO” from them.

Anyhoo
I wont make that mistake again.

There was a time in my life when I gave a fuck. Now you have to pay ME for it

[Buller100Participant 2189]

7 months I realised it was a mistake, nothing in common really what have men and women in common ?

[Anonymous 43]

I should have never stayed with that woman in the first place. I was lonely and so was she, we had compatible body parts. I was so f~~~ing stupid. I chose to be with her instead of being alone, because of compatible body parts. I regret the moment I met her. We broke up 3 times and got back together. What the f~~~ was I doing? When you break up, keep going, don’t stop. Run away that much faster idiot!

[Back in BlackParticipant 1732]

It is good only until your utility runs out. Then you are DONE! For some it’s right after the “I do’s”. For me it was after the children were born, then she stopped even pretending to care about me. Once the children were in school she had no further use for me and it was “I’m not happy!”

"Women are directly adapted to act as the nurses and educators of our early childhood, for the simple reason that they themselves are childish, foolish, and short-sighted—in a word, are big children all their lives, something intermediate between the child and the man, who is a man in the strict sense of the word. Consider how a young girl will toy day after day with a child, dance with it and sing to it; and then consider what a man, with the very best intentions in the world, could do in her place.” Quote from Arthur Shopenhauer, 17th century philosopher

[Truthseeker82Participant 6406]

Just read the experiences of the men here. The common thread is it’s all downhill after they get the ring and kids. If you want sovereignty over your own life – never ever give control to another person (and the government). If you want kids you don’t need a contract with her or the state.
If you want to get laid – most women will put out if there is something in it for them. Find a hot 25 year old with a round ass and nice rack and take her to dinner, buy her flowers then go for it – BJ, sex the works. Then ghost her and get back to your own life!

[revistaParticipant 232]

Agree with my brothers here.as soon as a kid comes along.the power shifts and whats worse is they know it!its subtle at first but once they realise they make you pay.i stayed for kids for a long time and it was hell.no sex just mom and dad.i started putting money aside.i did everything with the kids,while she went out,gym etc.she pulled the pin in the end.it was tough.but best thing she ever did.dont get married and dont live with em either.

[Sparticus66Participant 508]

Good for 2 years. Then had kids and never has sex once for 8 years after birth of second.
She put on about 6 stone and looked awful. Spent her way into $160,000 debt which she had from me until she let it out during marriage counselling. I walked when she lost her job for fraud at work. I’m trying to pay the mortgage for her and the kids plus my own rent plus a payment each month to cover the debts. Totally financially ruined but I have my day to day freedom from her. Once the boys are adults ill never need any contact. Marriage is for losers. If you aren’t a loser, it will turn you into one

[GeraldParticipant 3628]

Happy to answer.

Married once, but three mutli-year relationships that I will mention

First was high school sweetheart, lasted five years. Was good for first three, ended with her pregnant by another Chad.

Second was live in, after 6 more ths of dating. Went well for first three years or so, then became essentially roommates who occasionally banged. Lasted 10 years before I threw her out.

Marriage happened after two years dating old friend, was good the two dating years and maybe two past that. Still married, ten year is coming up. End is here, just ghosting till I can leave.

Future: Single.

No longer can we walk away, we must run. Remove the motive power.

[John Woods 13Participant 2855]

I also got the “I’m too tired” line on my wedding night. I mean, what the f~~~? I spent half a year planning ‘her special day’ and she couldn’t even take 10 minutes to f~~~ her groom. I knew something was very wrong right then, but I had to do the “right thing”. So, I gave it my best and tried to be the best husband. It was mostly s~~~ for a few years untill I told her I wanted out. Gues what? Within 2 weeks she was pregnant. And, again, I had to do the right thing. So it’s been over for years now, but I’m staying for the kids, and she is too much of a coward to walk away. But at least it’s tolerable since we don’t fight.
So, yes, it’s all over the moment you sign the papers.
Just say no and go your own way!

The answer is NO. “I could but I won’t”. Memini murum!

[Capslok SpelczechParticipant 108]

The short answer is, I was married for 10 years, it was fine until it wasn’t fun anymore, and I mostly trace the failure of the marriage to MY not understanding my true nature and not being situationally aware of the shift that was going on in society. I got married because every male I knew and respected in my family and my career eventually got married, and all I knew was to do what the guys that came before me did, because they all seemed to be prosperous and happy. They really did. But what I couldn’t know was that The Times They Were A-Changin, and men could no longer expect fair pay back for all of their hard work and sacrifice. Luckily my ex had her own money and her own thing going on before we ever got married, so I didn’t get raped on the divorce. We both basically just walked away with what we had when we got together, which is how it should be. Men and women are obviously different, but I think that at heart, they just want to be happy most of the time. The trouble is, for the most part, women have no idea what their happy even looks like. They expect a man, a drug, a new outfit, the right zip code, the right car etcetera etcetera etcetera to make them happy. And that would be fine, except these days, whenever you add a hapless man into the mix, the courts and society are all on her side. So if the partnership doesn’t work out, usually he is the one who gets skinned alive. Now that I’m free, and I realize what a risk I took, I will never get married again. I’ll never advise a young man to get married. The problem I have with marriage is not a philosophical one, it is a practical one. Marriage, however you slice it, is basically a job. And people have a habit of getting bored. Marriage is an at-will contract in my opinion. The government needs to get the hell out of it. I would be all for marriage if it weren’t for the fact that the government the courts and innumerable creditors can rip the flesh off of a man’s bones simply because the woman decides that she wants to trade up, or gets bored, or can’t be “happy.” Like most things that government touches, government has completely f***** marriage up. Expecting perpetual lifetime payments for a job that you decided to quit is intellectually hypocritical. Sometimes I think I am not as anti-marriage as I am anti government meddling. Whichever, I’ll never stick my neck in that noose again.

"Higgins: Magnum, feed the lads, would you? There are steaks in the freezer. [Magnum makes an excited face] Very well, you can have one too."

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