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Majin 3 years, 5 months ago.
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Hi, guys.
This is my second post (and first topic) at the forum, and I’d like to read your opinions on what I have to say. For the few who read my first post (at “NAWALT” topic) I will sound repetitive.
I’m a young man in my mid to late 20s, and had a few relationships through my life. I’ve always been the type of guy who would rather have a LTR than f~~~ around, and even though I’ve been a “hardcore beta male blue piller” for most of my teen/adult life, I don’t think this is the reason why I preffer LTR to one night stands; it’s more like it’s part of my nature, I truly like the commitment, barely miss new pussy when I have a fine one, and tend to develop emotional bonds with the woman I’m with, wishing she’ll truly love me, just like I truly love them. Too bad life isn’t that simple and female nature won’t cooperate with my dreams.
The first LTR I had was from my 17s to my 19s, with a girl my age. I loved the bitch, but besides being a hardcore blue piller back then, I had little self esteem, and to top that she had (which was only later diagnosed) borderline personality disorder. Needless to say, it was more of a hell than it would be with the average female, and it took me 2 cheatings to finaly get the courage to dump her (although I also cheated on her near the end, which kind of helped me convince myself she wasn’t the only girl in the world).
Since then I started to become more confident, a little more aware of female nature, but was still a purple piller at best. I had a couple of LTR attemps, a few one night stands (which I enjoyed but soon came to bore me), and when I was at my early to mid 20s I met this girl 5 years younger.
.
Ok so everything until now was just a background so you guys can get a little into my mind. The actual story starts here.
I started to date this younger girl, and at the beginning everything was rainbows and butterflies (sounds gay, I know)… but soon she started to treat me poorly. To add insult to injury, we had a long distance relationship, which was a burden by itself. Soon I started to get fed up (although she didn’t treat me nearly as poor as the first girl – I was now already a purple pill after all), so I believe she felt that and it didn’t take long for her behavior to improve. I gave in a little because I thought she was young and naive, and believed she would mature.
When we completed one year together (and were quite good), she felt she had a confession to make. She told me that at that time period when she treated me poorly she fell in love with another guy, but swore everything was only platonic and didn’t last long. Apart from the fact(?) that women are natural born liars, I had no reason to doubt her story, specially because there was no way I would have known unless she told me. So I believed her, didn’t hide my huge frustration at the time, but forgave her.
Second year into the relatinship she came to live in my city to join the same university I was attending, after failing the test at the university where she lived with her mother. I gave her very little financial help, but her expenses were almost all covered by her mother, and soon she started a part time job to help support herself. This, several other clues, and the fact I’m not rich myself made me believe she was not a gold digger, a belief I sustain to this day.
I consider myself to be an anti-feminist since 2012, but only around 2014 I discovered MGTOW, and started to look at my relationship a little bit more through MGTOW ideas.
She and I had our share of problems through the relationship, but never really bad. She has been slightly sort of an AWALT in the sense of not be satisfied with my current self, but most of her “dissatisfaction”, so to speak, are from things that I actually should improve to become a better version of myself (fitness, better dedication to studies and work, things like that). Therefore, most of her nagging have helped me to become better, in the sense that I actually feel better with the improvement. It ended up being a good motivator.
I know she is still a female, still has the hypergamy thing in her, but it looks like she isn’t willing to live up to that nature. It might have something to do with, despite have been raised by a single mother, she was also raised by her grandfather, who is a great man I had the pleasure to meet and I can only guess was a strong male model through her childhood.
Thing is, we’ve been dating for 6 years now and I’m happy with her. Not in the sense of “rainbows” (though I’m still very emotionally attached to her), but in the sense that she truly respects me for most of the time. And when she doesn’t (female nature manifesting, maybe?), I demand the same respect I have for her, and have already made clear I’d rather break up with her than putting up with disrespect… and she seems ok with it.
I’m about to graduate and switch my part time job for a full time job in my area, earn a lot more and finally be able to support myself entirely (I’ve made a few mistakes through life unrelated to women, for which I’m compensating with hard work now). She’s one year behind me, and is definitely looking forward to support herself, so the golddigging thing is totally not an issue. She does, however, want to move in with me as soon as we graduate, which my emotional side is willing to say “YES”, but my rational side is researching about legal precautions.
Given everything I said above, I have a hard time believing a “preemptive dumping” would be the right thing to do. I am, however, willing to stay aware and vigilant, because I know that in order to screw me over, she only has to want to. But I don’t see she wanting to anytime soon. Besides, I would really have a broken heart for breaking up with her for no reason other than “she is a woman therefore she can screw me over”.
So, what do you guys think? Am I being too hopeful here? Or there are situations in which keeping a LTR with a woman (and even living together) is not a stupid move?
There's no fate but what we make for ourselves.
Protect yourself first and foremost. Female nature can and will change and what seems like a good deal today can quickly turn sour.
Once you cohabitate and/or marry everything can and will change. I’ve known people who dated for years but never moved in together, no kids, finances separate, fun and sex and that’s all they both want. If you can keep it at that level – hang with it – but most younger woman won’t be satisfied with that.
Anonymous42Good luck, I hope she isn’t like dynamite, stable today, but in years to come leaking with the imminent threat of explosion. I’ve seen what seemed like level headed women explode 20 years later. I can’t advise you what to do because I don’t play with DYNAMITE.
Protect yourself first. Nobody else will look out for you, not the blue pills and certainly not the hens.
Sovereignty above all else.
DO NOT move in together. However sweet she seems to be, it’s an act. She’s trying to reel you in: living under the same roof, still playing sweet, doing things she hates (blowjobs and anything else). Next thing she brings up the topic of marriage or the “oopsie I’m pregnant” and then you’re f~~~ed.
I know it will be painful as f~~~, but I suggest breaking up with her preemptively as she WILL drag your ass to court to squeeze you dry of every penny you’ve got.
"One of the best things internet exposed is just how insane women are." - Freeman_K
Anonymous18I’m about to graduate and switch my part time job for a full time job in my area, earn a lot more and finally be able to support myself entirely
You could be a good case study from an objective POV. You should stick around and keep us updated about how she treats you AFTER you are making $$$ and how much of that you’re spending on ‘us together’ than just the s~~~ you want to buy/do. Hey, you worked for that dough.
I am, however, willing to stay aware and vigilant, because I know that in order to screw me over, she only has to want to.
You can’t stay aware and vigilant because … Read below
She does, however, want to move in with me as soon as we graduate, which my emotional side is willing to say “YES”,
My friend do not move in with her right after you graduate and start making money. That’s the time you can afford to go out, grow, and meet people. She knows it and is going to nip it in the bud. That’s her security.
Next move would be slowly and systematically infect you with self-doubt and become emotionally co-dependent on her.
She is patient but certainly you haven’t lived life beyond the prism of her charm in past 6 years. It is essential to maintain the distance i.e. have your own place and do not let her move in- for at least 1 full year of you working and spending that money or saving it for YOURSELF. With an occasional treat her with a dinner out.
You’d see her true nature come thru during that 1-year.
Either way man, good luck.
Whatever her mother looks like, that is what she will devolve into. That should make your dick shrivel.
Sovereignty above all else.
Whatever her mother looks like, that is what she will devolve into. That should make your dick shrivel.
YES. A friend ‘o mine once made that remark and I shivered because my then gf’s mom was ugly as f~~~ 😀 Didn’t take long after that for me to break it off with her.
"One of the best things internet exposed is just how insane women are." - Freeman_K
Your 20's are for learning, your 30's are for earning.
No matter how hot she is now, she will turn into her mother. A great example of this is the Russian chicks I met about 15 years back, they can be supermodel hot until 30 but by 50 they NEED to wear the bubushka.
Sovereignty above all else.
She does, however, want to move in with me as soon as we graduate, which my emotional side is willing to say “YES”, but my rational side is researching about legal precautions.
Don’t do it, get your OWN place.
And don’t worry. You have an out other than “she’s a woman she can screw you over. “. That you don’t discuss with her because all you’re gonna hear is “OMG I would never do that. I can’t BELIEVE you would think I would ever do that.”
/audio/awalt-all-women-are-like-that/
Given everything I said above, I have a hard time believing a “preemptive dumping” would be the right thing to do. I am, however, willing to stay aware and vigilant, because I know that in order to screw me over, she only has to want to. But I don’t see she wanting to anytime soon. Besides, I would really have a broken heart for breaking up with her for no reason other than “she is a woman therefore she can screw me over”.
Insist she gets her own place and you get YOURS.
Not because “She’s a woman and she can screw you over”.
But because “She’s a strong and independent woman, and you ENCOURAGE independence in women”.
DONE.
Work that angle — and encourage independence in her. If she has a problem with that, then you know she’s looking for a free ride to some degree. You can still date, sleep over, so can she. You can go out, be a couple, celebrate together, have a “relationship”, and do everything couples do. But NO CONTRACT or joint lease agreement. If she lives with you and you live in Canada, she can collect alimony after two years – and she doesn’t even need to be your WIFE. ( F~~~ing useless parasites ).
If she dumps you because of this, then you DEFINITELY did the right thing insisting on your own place.
Once I lived with a chick who didn’t have her own identity, or pursue her own goals, and she even had a job offer she wasn’t in a hurry to take. And we’re laying in bed (I STILL REMEMBER THIS!!) and Im telling her it’s time for her to move out and get a job and get her own place and sense of self. She’s facing away from me and CRYING , like the break up sobbing. And I fell for it like an idiot.
So I caved and never spoke about it again. Until our break up 3 years later….. when she blamed me, and said “you didn’t let me be my own person”.
It made me so angry I could have punched a f~~~ing hole in the wall. If I could have rewound those 3 years to that night in bed when she was fake crying….. I would have thrown her out into the street and all of her belongings with her – with zero hesitation or remorse.
Blaming me for supporting her for 3 years and paying all the bills.
AND putting up with her princess complaining about damn-near everything.Get your own place – insist on maintaining your own sovereignty above ALL ELSE – and establish your OWN boundaries and set of rules. Own your s~~~ and don’t give a F~~~ about how she “feels” about it. It’s also a great way to see if she really likes you…. or if it’s what she THINKS you can do for her.
But don’t tell her that’s why. Tell her it’s because she’s a “strong and independent” woman, and that’s WHY you’re so attracted to her! That’s what makes her so SPECIAL. Do not give her a key to your place.
Enjoy.
And welcome to MGTOW.
=======
AND P.S. If you don’t do this for yourself, do it for me.
And then send me an email telling me how much it made her “cry”.
That would be awesome. Because I already know female tears are bulls~~~.If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.i can add nothing to what the Key Master said.
i have been there,
done that,
got the t shirt,
the key chain ,
and f~~~ing souvenirs from women living with me that i wish never did.
all the guys here spoke the truth to you ..
use KM’s advice for sure.Hi, guys.
I gave her very little financial help, but her expenses were almost all covered by her mother, and soon she started a part time job to help support herself. This, several other clues, and the fact I’m not rich myself made me believe she was not a gold digger, a belief I sustain to this day.
made clear I’d rather break up with her than putting up with disrespect… and she seems ok with it.
She … wants to move in with me as soon as we graduateThe Fact Is:
As Sidecar always says, she already has you. The only reason she wants to move in with you is to have your stuff.
You already know this. It is patently obvious by your wording. All the hoping and hoping in the world is not going to help you once she gets the upper hand by moving in. She’s financially seducing you so she can financially rape you later.
You don’t have to dump her or preemptively dump her or anything else.
If she doesn’t like status quo, she can leave the relationship.She has to believe you – basically no risk to her.
OR
You have to believe her – and set yourself up to be financially slaughtered.And NEVER GIVE HER A KEY TO YOUR PLACE OR EVEN LEND IT TO HER…NEVER!
"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."
A woman in your place is like a camel in the tent. Get her in no problem, but try and get her out without destroying everything.
She supervises you, tells you what to wear, asks when you’ll be home, who you’re with, how long you will be out, when you will be back, and you can’t leave without making an announcement to her majesty. You will get blood from a stone before you come home to a meal prepared for you. If the purpose of her living there is not to make your home more enjoyable and pleasant to come home to, forget it.
You don’t need to dump her because it’s not an all-or-nothing decision. If she dumps you because you didn’t give her a key, then be glad you got rid of her now.
A woman in your life is a camel in the tent.
You posted knowing the answer. For every little positive there is a huge glaring negative that you are refusing to see at this moment.
Look at where you want to be, what you want to be doing in 20 years. It isn’t what she wants for/from you… I guarantee it.
I failed to realize in my youth that I was the prize. I was going to work. I was going to earn. Little did I realize that due to feminism, that no longer meant I had to share. Road soon, Desert after.
dont let her move in!!
DO NOT mover her in, or this vid is what you are looking forward to.I repeat, do NOT do this, dont!! No! if she s~~~ tests you, fling over the wall like the flaming meat sack filled with bulls~~~ and drama she is.
My peace of mind is worth more then your vagina...cunt.
I’ve known people who dated for years but never moved in together, no kids, finances separate, fun and sex and that’s all they both want. If you can keep it at that level – hang with it – but most younger woman won’t be satisfied with that.
Thanks, that sounds quite wise.
Protect yourself first. Nobody else will look out for you, not the blue pills and certainly not the hens.
Sadly true.
Next thing she brings up the topic of marriage or the “oopsie I’m pregnant” and then you’re f~~~ed.
Luckly (or is it?) I had a condition last year which turned me into almost barren, without affecting my testosterone/sex drive etc. So it would be quite hard for her to pull the “belly scam” (the way we call it here in Brazil) against me, although not impossible.
have your own place and do not let her move in- for at least 1 full year of you working and spending that money or saving it for YOURSELF. With an occasional treat her with a dinner out.
You’d see her true nature come thru during that 1-year.
SOLID piece of advice here. Thank you. I’ll definitely wait at least 1 year (maybe 2) after I estabilish myself, watch how she estabilishes herself, and observe how things play out, before I make a decision about moving in or not.
But because “She’s a strong and independent woman, and you ENCOURAGE independence in women”.
Hahaha I’ve being doing that about other stuff (like paying for dinners, etc) since years ago. It has done miracles. I actually believe she came to think that in order to be a “strong independent woman” she has to behave like one. I can’t say what truly goes on her mind, but she seems to believe she is not entitled to rely on support from others, me, or the government (appart from those kinds of support which are expected from someone who loves you, be it friend or lover, be it man or woman).
By the way, sad (and kinda infuriating) story of yours. But it’s no surprise that a woman would blame a man for everything she has done wrong.
Whatever her mother looks like, that is what she will devolve into. That should make your dick shrivel.
Not a great concern for the next 20 years at least. Her mother looks just fine (not super hot though) and seems to be quite a nice person, for what I can tell.
And NEVER GIVE HER A KEY TO YOUR PLACE OR EVEN LEND IT TO HER…NEVER!
Well, s~~~. She has had it for a couple years.
But she never came to my place without being allowed, I gave it to her so she could not be waiting at the door when we agree to spend the night together, cook dinner or something (you know, the good sleep over that I appreciate and that doesn’t need to involve living together).Although according to current Brazilian laws, she couldn’t claim anything financially even if she tried hard. She has her own place, and it’s damn easy to prove the keys to the apartment are just to make things easier, not to entitle her to a part of it. I don’t know how the laws are gonna be a few years ahead, with all these filthy feminists pushing for political change, but RIGHT NOW I’m safe.
…
So, in conclusion, I think I won’t be dumping her now unless she deserves it. Keep in mind that I love her.
But I also love myself, more than I love her, so I won’t be moving in with her for at least a good ammount of time after we both are making good money – and maybe not even after that. I believe these are calculated risks, and despite taking my emotions into consideration before making decisions, I don’t think I’m being blinded by them. For now that’s the path of balance to me.I’ll keep you guys updated about it, and won’t be moving in soon, so don’t worry. Thank you all.
There's no fate but what we make for ourselves.
are situations in which keeping a LTR with a woman (and even living together) is not a stupid move?
If you are both devoted to self-improvement, truth and overcoming problems then yes, it is not a stupid move.
In hindsight my relationship with my last girlfriend ended a year before I broke up with her, when she said; “don’t even say the words: personal development, again”. From then on we were just perpetuating our problems, the kind of problems many men here highlight.
Only with deep personal insight can you overcome them.
P.S. I was also thinking of similar advice to iLearn; Get yourself stable first. Become autonomous and self-sufficient, so you can weather any storm without relying on someone else. I was thrust into living with my ex when we were both made homeless. You have a choice, choose with stability behind you so you have something to fall back on, just in case.
I would continue to ride the bliss you have now for as long as you can BUT DO NOT LIVE WITH HER!!!!!!!!! Once that happens you are now common law and you will see a slow change in her for the worst. She more than likely will become more demanding, make you change the way you want to live to suite her needs, and essentially take over the house. If she wants to get a job and get a career she should be happy enough just to be with you and nothing else. If she pushes for living together, dump her and move on… I know 6 years can be a long time but remember always listen to your gut and if it tells you there is something even slightly fishy it damn well is fishy and you are in a world of hurt. Do not live together, do not get married, and do not have kids…. I have several friends who are couples and are happy to have their own place, no kids, or marriage and they have been together for a long time. Besides there are plenty of fish in the see if you need to find someone else.
Knowledge is power..... Don't waste your brain on bullshit
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