Post up some humor

[743 roadmasterParticipant]

The subject matter of Mgtow is a mostly serious or WTF area. A little humor is not a bad thing,…..so post up your jokes, funny meme, or humor.

mgtow is its own worst enemy- https://www.campusreform.org/

[743 roadmasterParticipant]

It was April and the Aborigines in a remote part of Northern Australia asked their new elder if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild.

Since he was an elder in a modern community he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky he couldn’t tell what the winter was going to be like.

Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the tribe should collect firewood to be prepared.

But being a practical leader, after several days he had an idea.

He walked out to the telephone booth on the highway, called the Bureau of Meteorology and asked, ‘Is the coming winter in this area going to be cold?’

The meteorologist responded, ‘It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold.’

So the elder went back to his people and told them to collect even more wood in order to be prepared.

A week later he called the Bureau of Meteorology again. ‘Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?’

The meteorologist again replied, ‘Yes, it’s going to be a very cold winter.’

The elder again went back to his community and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find.

Two weeks later the elder called the Bureau again. ‘Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?’ he asked.

‘Absolutely,’ the man replied. ‘It’s looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters ever.’

‘How can you be so sure?’ the elder asked.

The weatherman replied, ‘Our satellites have reported that the Aboriginals in the north are collecting firewood like crazy, and that’s always a sure sign.’

mgtow is its own worst enemy- https://www.campusreform.org/

[743 roadmasterParticipant]

,……did not look enough someone already has a jokes thread. Sorry about jumping into another with out adequate digging.

mgtow is its own worst enemy- https://www.campusreform.org/

[Prefer Peace to PieceParticipant 10809]

http://onelinefun.com/blonde/

What do you call it when a blonde feminist dies their hair brunette? Artificial intelligence.

What do you do if a blonde feminist throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

What do you call a smart blonde feminist ? A golden retriever.

How do you make a blonde feminist’s eyes light up? Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Why did the blond feminist get fired from the banana plantation? Because she threw out all the bent ones.

What can strike a blonde feminist without her even knowing it? A thought.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? “Are you sure it’s mine?”

Why can’t a blonde feminist count to 70? Because 69 is a bit of a mouthful.

What’s the difference between a blonde feminist and a mosquito? A mosquito stops sucking when you smack it.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

743 roadmaster wrote:

A little humor

I strongly agree – especially when dealing with “red pill rage”. You can let a woman (or anyone) p~~~ you off, or instead of allowing that, amuse and entertain yourself.

For example, I can’t stand it when EVERY woman starts a first interaction/smalltalk/dialogue with “so what do you do?” or “so where do you work?”. It’s so lame and predictable I have a couple of stock responses for that now.

“So what do you do?”

“I hunt witches. But don’t worry . . . it’s my day off.”

Gratitude to @OldSage for that one.
I have been using it frequently. Cracks me up every time.

She may not think it’s funny, but her humorlessness is not my problem.

—

Here’s an example of a very entertaining method I employ from time to time.

I agree injecting humor when possible goes a long way. You can’t (and shouldn’t) take things, and especially other people too seriously too often. It will make you go bonkers. I sure as f~~~ will not engage in the way that’s expected.

When a woman pulls some similar s~~~, I know she’s trying to toy with me. So I toy with her back for my own amusement. Engaging with her will only be a downer.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[Anonymous 43]

A piece of rope was having a bad day, all strung out, just hanging on by a thread,
so he went down to the bar and was stopped at the door by a beefy looking bouncer.

Bouncer: Hey, you can’t go in there, you are piece of rope. We don’t allow ropes in the bar.

Rope: But you don’t understand I had a tough day, and I just want to unwind a little.

Bouncer: Yeah that’s the problem with you ropes, a little drink to unwind, pretty soon you dudes are all unraveled, tangling with the other patrons. Not happening Rope, shove off.

Rope: Fine, you wouldn’t catch me in a dive like this anyways.

So the rope walked around the block, window shopping, thinking to himself. He was determined to tie one on tonight. He twisted and turned around a couple times and shook one end. He walked to the end of the street to the bar.

The bouncer stood at his post, guarding the bar from the riff raff and gutter trash common to big cities. Then he spotted something coming toward him.

Bouncer: Hey aren’t you the rope that tried to get in here a few minutes ago?

Rope: Nope, I’m afraid not.

[CarnageParticipant 22113]

Muslim blow up dolls are very expensive.

Why?

They blow up them selves

To those following me, be careful, I just farted. Men those beans are killers.

[CarnageParticipant 22113]

A couple is banging in the middle of the highway. A truck is coming, the driver keeps honking at them but they don’t move.

The truck stops, the driver gets down.

Wtf are you people insane?

Guy looks up and says:

You where coming.
I was coming.
She was coming.

And of all of us you where the only one with brakes.

To those following me, be careful, I just farted. Men those beans are killers.

[HermitParticipant 1121]

A classic.

Woman to Churchill: If you were my husband, I’d give you poison in your tea!

Churchill: Madam, if I was your husband, I’d drink it.

I don't hate women. I just feel better when they're not around.

[Anonymous 7]

A man and his monkey walk into a bar.
Man orders a beer.

While the man is drinking his beer, the monkey grabs a peanut out of the bowel on the bar and sticks it up his ass.

Monkey pulls the peanut out of his ass and eats it.
Monkey does this a few more times before the bartender sees it.

Bartender:Hey! Tell your monkey to stop doing that s~~~. Its nasty.

Man:Sorry about that but after the cue ball incident monkey measures his food.

[RemovedParticipant 4676]

This is an old one, but still true.

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts her sentence with, “A man once told me”

[KeymasterKeymaster]

A long-married couple are having a problem with their sex life.
One day, the husband comes home and wife says:

“From now on, I think we should establish some ground rules for sex.”

“OK, then. When you wanna have sex with me, you can pull on my dick ONCE. When you don’t want to have sex with me, you can pull on my dick seventy-five times.”

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[RemovedParticipant 4676]

A retired marine and his wife laid in bed, when the old man passed gas.
“What was that?” The wife asked.
“Touchdown,” the marine answered with a smirk.
The wife thought about it for a second and then farted too.
“Tie game,” she quipped.
The old man was not prepared for a compitition, but was able to get a small squeaker.
“Field goal,” he stated, “10-7.”
A couple of minutes passed and the wife farted again.
The marine was not goint to be outdone, so he pushed with all of his might and shat the bed.
“What was that!?” The wife exclaimed.
“Halftime, switch sides,” the marine replied.

[Anonymous 8]

I want you to know that since the last time we had sex I ain’t seen my period.

Well look, I ain’t got it.

[Anonymous 7]

A Serenade to feminazis.

[KolaxisParticipant 668]

If you p~~~ someone off, walk a mile in their shoes. Then you’re a mile away and you also have their shoes.

Jackie: How do you write women so well?
Melvin Udall: I think of a man and I take away reason and accountability.

[ScarberianMPTGLParticipant 3286]

What do you call a smart blonde?

A golden retriever.

I, Lelouch Vi Britannia, command you, all of you, to Go Your Own Way!!

[hdvrodParticipant 1109]

How many women does it take to change a light bulb at their house?

None, you don’t need light bulbs when you have a glass ceiling.

Anyway communication, real open communication, is not wanted or even required in a relationship. Women cannot handle fully open and honest communication, plus most perceive it as a weakness on the part of a man. All that is required is catering to her whims, and even then nothing is certain. There is no way to be sure of having a successful relationshit with a woman. MGTaoist

[Back in BlackParticipant 1732]

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Rape!

"Women are directly adapted to act as the nurses and educators of our early childhood, for the simple reason that they themselves are childish, foolish, and short-sighted—in a word, are big children all their lives, something intermediate between the child and the man, who is a man in the strict sense of the word. Consider how a young girl will toy day after day with a child, dance with it and sing to it; and then consider what a man, with the very best intentions in the world, could do in her place.” Quote from Arthur Shopenhauer, 17th century philosopher

[ScarberianMPTGLParticipant 3286]

Three men were exploring the jungle when they stumbled upon tribal ground. They were captured and taken to the tribal chief, who informed them the penalty for trespassing was death. The men pleaded for their lives, asking if there was any other way. The chief said “If you do not choose death, you must live out the rest of your days as a eunuch.” The men considered this and decided anything was better than dying, so they agreed.

The chief informed them that the way they were to be castrated was to be determined by what their fathers did for a living. The chief asked the first man “What did your father do?” and the man replied nervously “Uh…he…was a firefighter”. “Very well”, said the chief “We will burn your dick off.”

The second man said “My father was a lumberjack” and the chief said “We will chop your dick off.”

He then came to the third man, who was grinning ear to ear. “What are you smiling for?” asked the chief. “Because,” the man replied “my father was a lollipop salesman.”

I, Lelouch Vi Britannia, command you, all of you, to Go Your Own Way!!

[Author]

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