Planning my escape

[hollowtipsParticipant 681]

So I’m coming up to my anniversary this again. We’ve been together for about 4 years. Started dating her at 18. We moved in together this year but prior to that I actually broke up with her at one point. Long story short her parents and her called me and my family and basically begged for me back. Now I’m able to be tough when I need to be physically but emotionally I can be sensitive and I felt bad and decided to give things one last chance.

Huge, huge f~~~ing mistake, amazingly I forgot how every single month without fail we would get into arguments and fights. I forgot that my social life has literally been reduced to me talking to my co-workers who I hate and a few people that attend my classes at university. I haven’t made a new female friend or male friend for that matter in the past 4 years. I was depressed for a long time and it was only recently that I realized I was scared to flirt with girls and have my GF find out and she’d bitch me out. On several occasions she has told on me to her parents on times when I would like another persons photo on Instagram or Facebook.

She’s selfish, lazy, boring and friendless one of the main reasons I’ve stayed with her for this long. If she had anyone else I would be gone. But now I’m starting to suspect she knows this and purposely doesn’t make friends. Terrible with money I was richer when I was 18 than I am now and she expects me to shower her with gifts.

So I’m 23 almost 24 and I’ve realized this is my one life I need to be free and explore the world while I still have a chance. I do feel tremendously bad for abandoning her but I don’t want to live my life full of regret and banging this same person for the next 60 years. But frankly our sex life has been terrible for the last 2 years. There are so many hot woman in the world and so many opportunities I would have had had I been single. Not to mention I probably would have saved 10-15 grand by this point would be way less stressed and have developed a lot more money making skills.

So she’s signed on a 1 year lease with me. I have no intentions of renewing it and I’ve been saving as best I can given my circumstance. I’m planning on leaving the country, doing some volunteering and when I finally move back it wont be to the same place (if I ever do come back at all). What can I do to make sure she doesn’t catch me and stop me? I don’t want to leave her family with a bunch of s~~~ to move. I don’t want her to find out and pull on my emotions to keep me from leaving. I just need to disappear fast with 0 contact.

I’m not a bad guy, I don’t even hate her. I just feel sorry for her, but I need my freedom and I need to experience some things on my own while I’m still young and able to. Please give me support and advice if you have any. I’m so f~~~ing bored of this life right now.

[Wolf redpillmanSpectator 1658]

Run and don’t look back,if you.impregnated her you will be stuck for 18 year with her paying child support,not.to mention she gonna wants.you to married her, run run and don’t.look back read.that book men.on strike ,

[RusskyParticipant 13503]

Disappearing 0 contact will make you look like a weasel. What do you mean she will catch and stop you? Grow some b~~~~ and tell it to her face in calm and reserve fashion. And don’t back down. Be assertive. She’ll have to accept it one way or the other. Tell her the decision is final and non-negotiable
And parents can f~~~ off – it’s none of their business

Also – she’ll probably chase and plead more if you break all the contact, than otherwise. So if you want to avoid that – go the meaningful assertive route

proud carrier of the 'why?' chromosome

[Anonymous 3]

hollowtips wrote:

I’m not a bad guy, I don’t even hate her. I just feel sorry for her, but I need my freedom and I need to experience some things on my own while I’m still young and able to. Please give me support and advice if you have any. I’m so f~~~ing bored of this life right now

I feel what you feel, felt the same toward my ex girl. It was 4 years too, and we were near breakup many times. Did not want to hurt her, but I needed my life and freedom. Break up felt bad emotionally but i knew I had to do it or I will have a useless boring life and die without reaching any goals. So I suggest you to do it. the sooner you break up the more chance you have to get out of the situation with minimizing the losses.

[the roadParticipant 3125]

Tell her that it’s over and that you are moving on. If you are seriously unable to do that without getting manipulated to stay then you either want to stay or you deserve to stay.

I was a nice guy when I was younger and I sort of understand I think but I would never let anyone control me. I would always leave. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I became a pawn for someone else to control.

I think that she can probably sense that there is something wrong that’s why she wants the constant showering of gifts to make her feel validated that the relationship is okay.

The bottom line is that you need to do what is necessary to get to the end result. If you feel forced into disappearing in order to get away, so be it. Yeah you might screw her over but she’ll recover soon after. What would be worse is leading her on for years while you also sacrifice your happiness- all because you were too afraid to take the reigns and get in control of your own life.

Those are my 2 cents.

#MANOUT

[Wolf redpillmanSpectator 1658]

That road is right listen to.that road he`s right

[RAT-7Participant 69]

The sooner the better !

I swear by my life and my love of it that I will never live for the sake of a woman, nor ask a woman to live for mine.

[Blue SkiesParticipant 15665]

you can do it!!! don’t get her pregnant…i can assure you, after you’ve escape, you’ll have a bright future…..slowly, but surely

MGTOW is not a movement, it is a way of life.

[Oz-BlokeParticipant 3233]

We are behind you brother. Deep-down you know the relationship is over so don’t be talked into any relationship counselling. It’s like lawyers in that it’s a parasite industry that will feed of the misery and pain of failed relationships until the hosts have no money left (we will fight this until your last dollar!). Counselling will not make her any less lazy, controlling, selfish and a drain on your resources. The good news is you have not had any kids so while you may take a momentary financial hit on the split (finding a new rental, storing some gear, reconnecting utilities), you are getting off WAY, WAY lighter than all our screwed-over brothers on these boards who are fathers.

My advice, squirrel cold-hard cash away in a safe place until you the day you go ghost. This can help you get by if she lawyers-up and wants a cohabitation property settlement. It’s f~~~ed, but believe it or not here in Australia you don’t even have to be living in the same house and a court can give half your stuff to your ex. (LINK) –

From the link above – Are you currently living with your partner in a carefree relationship without the “shackles” of a formal marriage commitment ? Are you in a relationship but maintaining separate residences? Believe it or not, just because you aren’t married or are not living together it doesn’t necessarily mean that “what’s yours is yours” anymore.

Under Australian Law, separating de facto couples have substantially the same rights and liabilities as those of married couples with regard to property settlements. This includes claims for spousal maintenance and superannuation “splits”.

If you don’t have many close, reliable friends to help you move, pay for removalists to swoop in a get your gear out of the rental on ‘ghost’ day. Don’t feel guilty about it, a chick did it to a mate of mine because he kept his finances secret and didn’t want to have any more kids after his first marriage. When she couldn’t extract the sperm and resources she wanted from him, she ghosted him in a day by booking removalists. Another mate walked away from a house full of furniture and most of his belongings to go ghost rather than put up with the BS another day.

If you have a good job and are happy at work, why leave town because of a vag? I know it’s tempting and I did it once in my younger days, but why should you sacrifice a good job because of some lazy, selfish woman? Then again, if you don’t much care for your job then maybe a complete life cleanse is what you need. My thoughts are with you brother.

#ManOut

[WallyParticipant]

Feel no guilt, you are young, go explore the world and live your life.

"what a waste of a life, to marry, give up your freedom, just for the hope of not dying alone. Don't get married Son."

[Buller100Participant 2189]

The girl with no friends hit a chord, I am out of the trap 10 years now but it could have been me writing the opening post years ago…

Get out , it will get worse and worse and worse.. Babies , mortgage run Forest run

[RiargsParticipant 320]

Another option, if you know she won’t take “I just want out of here” as a good enough excuse to dump her, is to invent the mythical “love of your life” scenario.

This is where you tell her that despite yourself you met another woman who is really and truly the “love of your life”, you weren’t looking for it, but it happened to you anyway. Then you say how sorry you are, how bad you are, etc. but it is something that is totally out of your control, it’s a “Big Love” kind of thing, Beyond All Human Reason. You explain to her that you’re leaving her because it’s not fair to her, it’s not fair to you, and it’s not fair to your new Gal.

When you tell her this you’re packed up and ready to leave the instant you tell her, leaving not a shred of your existence behind.

Then you bail on her, fast as lightening, and go running away and singing “I’m Free, I’m FREE, I’M FREE!” as you head towards the sunset…

It’s just a thought…times certainly have changed, women have gotten infinitely more evil, wicked and bad in the past 20+ years or so, but this method has worked for me in the distant past. The younger guys in this group with more experience banging younger women can chime in here and tell us if this strategy would still work or not…

"In my many years I have come to the conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two are a law firm and three or more is a Government..." - John Adams

[HawkeParticipant 197]

It´s like looking into mirror reading your story. She was a real psycho that one. It´s our compassion what they are taking advantage of. I tried it too that “giving her one last change” – it´s a waste of time and it never works. Didn´t work the first time sure as hell won´t work the second time.

End it. ASAP. The longer it drags the worse will be the impact on you. I told her exactly why without fabricating any cover stories. It doesn´t matter if she understands or not. Her approval or opinions are irrelevant. Your life and your own happiness is what matters. Then go radio silent.

If you´re already decided than she has absolutely no means of stopping you. Or her parents. No one has the mandate to tell you how to live your life but you. It takes only a little courage to get it done and later you can enjoy walking of to sunset and enjoying your freedom victorious.

Godspeed.

Qui audet adipiscitur - Who dares, wins

[narwhalParticipant]

Just focusing on one aspect of what you stated. Essentially, you are letting her potential response drive your actions, not what you want. You say that you don’t want to hurt her, but that’s not the truth. You want to avoid the conflict. The caring thing to do would be tell her the truth about how you feel instead of hiding it. So stop telling yourself this is about looking out for her, this is about you avoiding the conflict.

And honestly, you can’t run away from that. So you escape from this woman. What’s to stop you from running into the same with another woman. You will have conflict again. You must learn to deal with it.

So I say go talk to another girl if you want to, and then face your GF head on when she moans. Go make and hang out with friends, and let her deal with it. I’m not saying you should argue with her. Not at all. Just do it, tell her this is what you want to do, and there is no reason for you not to do so. Don’t engage her, walk away when she can’t be reasonable. Don’t give her gifts when you don’t want to.

Learn about your boundaries. Learn to say no. Learn to let what you want be the primary reason for your decisions, not her, anyone else, or a fear of how someone might respond.

I don’t know that it matters if you leave the country or not, but if you leave without telling her why and dealing with this, you will gain nothing from your 4 years.

Ok. Then do it.

[MGTOWmonkey aka No More Fucks To GiveParticipant 6635]

Any material possessions leave them behind,its just stuff and can be replaced. When you make the announcement make sure everything is set up for you to walk away and never look back.Women are a depreciating asset,she’s only going to get worse with time. Man you should see my use to be hot ex girlfriend damn she’s busted now!

Never lose sight of what brought you here.

[joey_fingazParticipant 132]

If you’re really that unhappy then you have to do it soon as possible. Don’t wait any longer. I was in the exact same position as you. I dated the same girl from high school into my 20s. Towards the end I was completely miserable. Not only was my social life non-existent back then but I’m still haven’t trouble now due to all those years of only being able to be friends with her friends, I couldn’t meet anyone new and have my own friends. Wasn’t allowed to flirt with other girls and yes, I would ALWAYS catch some kind of s~~~ just from liking a pic on Facebook or adding a new friend (aka girl) on Facebook.

It’s kind of funny because from reading your post it reminded me of how bad it was. Can’t believe I forgot.

This is the way I looked at it and it helped me when it came time to breaking up with her face to face, if your unhappy it’s because you don’t have any boundaries. You’re allowing someone else to control your life. If you can’t draw boundaries in your life now then you’re never going to do it. You’re going to allow other people to control you. You have to do this now and yes, you have to breakup with her face to face like a man. It’s hard I know, it sucks and it was the hardest thing I ever had to do but I made it as simple as possible. You just have to be straight up and say we’re done. Keep it short and then leave. Try not to be cruel but do what you have to do.

[alchemistParticipant 484]

I can relate a lot.

What can I do to make sure she doesn’t catch me and stop me

Just do it. Leave, don’t compromise, put leaving out of your control; it’s happening regardless of anything else. You don’t need to have 0 contact, you can tell her straight- she’s a f~~~ing nightmare, she will of course turn this around on you saying you’re just as bad but then you can ask “why then, do you want to be with someone as awful as me?”.
The real truth is that both sides have problems, for example with me and my girlfriend I have a tendency to ignore problems and put myself in difficult situations, but she has a tendency to make problems which make things more difficult- a perfect match. So make sure you don’t overlook a significant insight about yourself when highlighting someone else’s part in a failed relationship.

[hollowtipsParticipant 681]

alchemist wrote:

I can relate a lot.

What can I do to make sure she doesn’t catch me and stop me

Just do it. Leave, don’t compromise, put leaving out of your control; it’s happening regardless of anything else. You don’t need to have 0 contact, you can tell her straight- she’s a f~~~ing nightmare, she will of course turn this around on you saying you’re just as bad but then you can ask “why then, do you want to be with someone as awful as me?”.
The real truth is that both sides have problems, for example with me and my girlfriend I have a tendency to ignore problems and put myself in difficult situations, but she has a tendency to make problems which make things more difficult- a perfect match. So make sure you don’t overlook a significant insight about yourself when highlighting someone else’s part in a failed relationship.

My problem is I didn’t know what I was getting myself into at 18 years old, and this isn’t the same woman I used to date for the first 9 months. My problem is that I’ve been poor ever since we started dating seriously for nearly 4 years. My problem is my social life has literally dropped to 0 like a hiv positive persons white blood cell count. My problem is she has become massive and refuses to listen to any suggestions that might help her lose weight even though we both work out and I’ve been in nearly the best shape of my life. My problem is that we fight every single month without fail and it’s always my fault. My spirit and energy has literally been ripped out of me and if she wasn’t living with me on a lease I would have already fled the country.

[OldBillParticipant]

hollowtips wrote:

My problem is… My problem is… My problem is… My problem is… My problem…

Blah blah blah, yakkity-smakkity, blah blah blah. Nothing but excuses.

You post paragraphs about how horrible your life is with this woman and then, when told to break it off with, post paragraphs about how you can’t leave.

Where’s that Godfather gif when I need it? Quit acting like a c~~~. Start acting like a man.

Get up and leave. You owe her nothing. She’s given you nothing but agony. Quit whining to us and start taking control of your life.

Do it today.

Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.

[OgreParticipant 5863]

hollowtips wrote:

My problem is I didn’t know what I was getting myself into at 18 years old, and this isn’t the same woman I used to date for the first 9 months. My problem is that I’ve been poor ever since we started dating seriously for nearly 4 years. My problem is my social life has literally dropped to 0 like a hiv positive persons white blood cell count. My problem is she has become massive and refuses to listen to any suggestions that might help her lose weight even though we both work out and I’ve been in nearly the best shape of my life. My problem is that we fight every single month without fail and it’s always my fault. My spirit and energy has literally been ripped out of me and if she wasn’t living with me on a lease I would have already fled the country.

So you live with a girl that has tried to change every established standard of the relationship. At least you didn’t marry and get the state aligned with her to extract even more resources.

Go now, stop complaining, she’s a bad girlfriend. If you continue to f~~~ with women she will be one of many. If you’re smart you’ll realize that AWALT isn’t a just catchy phrase, and you’ll stay away from them.

I’m being more gentle than OldBill, but the emotional tampon thing is real and it’s not just done by women. I won’t be responding again, you’ve gotten good advice. Read your own messages for resolve and then dump that waste of your time and resources.

You don’t need our permission or hers, just go away. It also doesn’t need to be out of the country, she’s not the mafia or the KGB. Just make a decision and stick to it.

I failed to realize in my youth that I was the prize. I was going to work. I was going to earn. Little did I realize that due to feminism, that no longer meant I had to share. Road soon, Desert after.

[Author]

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