Tagged: Online Dating
This topic contains 48 replies, has 23 voices, and was last updated by 
Warratah 4 years, 11 months ago.
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Figured I would kick this off with a good rant to get things going.
Never before in my life have I seen arrogance of this magnitude. Let’s start with lists of requirements. On a recent troll of POF, some pudgy 37 year old, post Wall™ single mom of two demanded her beau have a white collar job. Does she not realize guys like that are nailing girls 10 years younger she is? On that note, let me translate some of their hamster speak: “I want a man who is”:
1.Financially secure
2.Career driven
3.Secure in his job
4.Knows how to handle money
5.Has a career instead of a jobOr any variation thereof = RICH. Do not be fooled.
What kind of clothes you should be wearing. That’s right. Who cares if you’re attractive and a good person, you had better have the right shoes on. Went on a first date with a girl to a BBQ at her friend’s house. (Big mistake, never meet her friends until you’ve been dating at least 3-4 months). She’s texting, which I detest on a date anyway. Found out, she was texting her friends who was sitting across the table about me. Apparently, I was attractive, had a good body, polite, nice, but “Who’s he kidding with those shoes?” Nike Air high tops. What am I supposed wear? Sandals? What if I have to climb a fence or run? What if a softball game starts? This superficial s~~~ astounds me. Their lives revolve around shoes and fashion. They’re oblivious that we don’t give a f~~~. Take a look at this article:
It’s never good enough is it? Look at the slags in that picture. Who are they to make demands? Women, if you’re lurking, you had better get used to a giant Indian head, the number 19 and the name TOEWS, especially when hockey season starts.
Where you should be going and what you should be doing on the date. Yes, some of them have detailed information of what you should be doing, even down to your drink. “I hope you like good wine”, whatever the f~~~ that is. Merlot? That’s right I pronounced it with the ‘T’. I used to like wine. Three sets of my great grandparents came from Italy; it was always a tradition in our family. My grandfather drank a glass of red a day. I used to enjoy red with Italian food. Now that women have made wine so f~~~ing pretentious I won’t touch it. So, in conclusion ladies, f~~~ you and your wine. I’ll be getting beer, as usual. My favorite is sporting event for a first date. I live close to Chicago and a day at Wrigley field can run hundreds of dollars. A Cub game usually involves the tickets/parking and drive there and back of course, meal and drinks before the game, drinks/food during the game, drinks/food after the game. If it’s one of those hot days at Wrigley, you’re going to be hot, tired, and probably mentally drained from listening to her prattle and broke. All for a “I had fun buy you’re not my type.” So, follow the Tom Leykis 3-date rule: No more than $40 on a date. Zero is optimal. No sex after third date? Dump her. And I will never waste money taking you to a hockey game, so don’t ask. That’s reserved for my uncles and my buddies. You’ve done it to yourself girls. No expensive restaurants or carriage rides. It’s coffee now (you’ll be paying for your own cup). We’re not spending money for a half ass shoulder hug.
Conditions on which to contact her. See above about money. If you’re not Lord Rod Von Hugendong/Superman/James Bond/Tough-yet sensitive bad boy/lord of the bank accounts, don’t bother. Note: The older, fatter and more kids they have, the conditions become more and more impossible to meet. And of course, they expect you to read their novel sized profile before contacting them. Lurking women: It’s a numbers game for us. And your profiles are all the same anyway:
“If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best”
Nope. Not putting up with you being a c~~~ 99.9% of the time. Pass.
“I like to have fun!”
No s~~~? Not me. I’d rather work and pay bills 24/7. Who the f~~~ doesn’t like to have fun? 100% guaranteed our ideas of fun will be polar opposites.
“I like to travel.”
On my dollar. This lame. It goes back to the old newspaper adds with “I like long walks on the beach”. What’s the big deal about travel? It sucks. The airport sucks. The pussy does not get better after you spend 4K to travel below the equator. Plus, do women want to explore ancient ruins or cool s~~~ like that? No. Thousands of dollars to sit on a f~~~ing beach. How stupid are you? I hate sand.
“My kids come first.”
Then your cat, your iPhone, your ‘career’, your friends not necessarily in that order. While I’ll be at the bottom. Pass.
“A date should include good conversation and good wine.”
Funny. Most of you are completely incapable of any intelligent thought as you only talk about the inane reality shows you watch and your f~~~ing idiotic friends. Bring up a current event for Christ’s sake. We’ve covered wine. It’s expensive and pretentious. Separate checks please.
“I’m done with the bar scene.”
It’s done with you. You’ve f~~~ed all the losers you can. Or your two thuglets from two different dads don’t allow the time. Your SMV is plummeting and you need to find a simp to pay for what you used to give away for free in the parking lot.
“Be yourself.”
(When referring to a date) One of the biggest lies ever told.
“I’m comfortable in jeans and t shirt as I am in a little black dress.”
Yes, you unique snowflake. You’re stunning no matter what you wear. Get the f~~~ over yourself.
“I don’t like guns.”
I do. I carry one. F~~~ off.
“Vegas baby!”
Hi! I’m 40 going on 19. And I still entertain the idea of going to a place where it’s 115 degrees and flaunting my sun damaged skin by the pool in hopes some drunk guy will hit on me.
“Go Hawks!”
So help me God, if I see this again I’m going to scream. It tells me you became a fan in 2010. I’ve been watching the Blackhawks 35 years. I went to all the playoff games in 1989 when they finally lost against Calgary in the Campbell final(who went on to beat Montreal for the Cup that year, revenge for 1986) bet you didn’t know that. Or the beating the Penguins gave them in the 1992 final. I lied blue streaks to go see games while in high school. I remember Wayne Gretzky’s first face off against Stan Mikita. It’s my favorite team, it’s my favorite sport. The first thing I will ask you is to explain icing and offsides. If you can’t, get the f~~~ out of my sight.
“I (insert whatever exercise I claim to be doing here)”
Unless there is a picture of you no older than a few weeks in bikini, a real one, not a tankini or other bulls~~~ versions to hide how fat your are, you’re lying and your fat. You can talk about running 3K’s, yoga, Zumba and all that until the cows come home. In my experience, your body doesn’t reflect even moderate exercise. Stuffing your fat ass into yoga pants doesn’t mean you’re in shape. This is a sleight of hand so we won’t notice you’re fat. I once dated a girl a little older than me. She looked ok with clothes on. Then she made the mistake of sending me a picture of her at the beach: Black, industrial bikini bottoms because her body was a wreck, top that didn’t match and her head in a do rag. She looked like a beached manatee. No thank you. If it’s too good to be true, it’s not. Which leads to this:
Deceptive photography. We know what you’re hiding with your high angle cleavage shots. Your big fat ass and muffin top. You’re not fooling anyone so just stop. Black dress? Shots of you with multiple people and unflattering clothes? Pictures of yourself at 17 when you’re actually 37? Shots of you sitting down at a table? We didn’t just fall off the turnip truck, we know you’re fat, stop hiding it. I swear, some of these women should work for ILM.
“I like confident men.”
No, they like false bravado which is fake confidence. They fear real confidence as that is a man they can’t control. I have been approached by women with, “My friend likes you but she’s afraid to approach you.” I’m not anything special it just translates to I won’t take any guff, can’t be controlled and could possible reject her friend. Mind you, I’m 42 and these women are my own age and still playing junior high f~~~-f~~~ games. What does that say about them?
I’ve read profiles that are finely detailed. Right down to a job, yearly salary, car driven , type of shape you should be in, house you live in, etc. Who is demanding this? Post Wall™ slags of course. In my recent troll of POF I contacted a girl I went out with before and all she did was lie. About what had happened, her being on multiple dating sites, etc. She gave me the “Don’t worry, I’m not lonely.” You don’t say? Then why again are you on multiple dating sites? Oh, yes. To string guys along while you look for the BBD and get your ego stroked.
I guess that’s all for now. Did I miss anything? Overlook anything? Who has horror stories?
Fuck this planet.I used to go to pof forums I never dated off pof but then I never wanted to date women from a dating site. There’s women who are married or separated and won’t tell you. And then there’s the women who will use men for free meals. This is no joke.
For most people online dating doesn’t work because they don’t have to work at relationships. There so much choice for women they don’t need to put the effort. Besides most women are screwed up. Women will go dutch are in the minority. There is a guy named cowboy on the site that claimed he met over 100 women and he didn’t recognize not even one when meeting because they pic was old or fake.
For here in Toronto the best place to pick up women are in grocery stores and bike/walk paths. You don’t see too many fatties on bike paths. If you want to find some hotties that aren’t bar sluts that’s the place to go.
"If pussy was a stock it would be plummeting right now because you've flooded the market with it. You're giving it away too easy." - Dave Chapelle
What kind of clothes you should be wearing. That’s right. Who cares if you’re attractive and a good person, you had better have the right shoes on. Went on a first date with a girl to a BBQ at her friend’s house. (Big mistake, never meet her friends until you’ve been dating at least 3-4 months). She’s texting, which I detest on a date anyway. Found out, she was texting her friends who was sitting across the table about me. Apparently, I was attractive, had a good body, polite, nice, but “Who’s he kidding with those shoes?” Nike Air high tops. What am I supposed wear? Sandals? What if I have to climb a fence or run? What if a softball game starts? This superficial s~~~ astounds me. Their lives revolve around shoes and fashion. They’re oblivious that we don’t give a f~~~.
That reminds me of my second girlfriend. I just grab whatever in the morning when I get dressed and she would always be like “omg you don’t match that just bugs me so much.” I told her I could care less about matching, but she would always complain about it.
Hi! I’m 40 going on 19. And I still entertain the idea of going to a place where it’s 115 degrees and flaunting my sun damaged skin by the pool in hopes some drunk guy will hit on me.
Don’t forget also wanting to sleep with some random drunk loser to make herself feel good and like she has still got it, only to show up on Maury 9 months later giving him a DNA test.
So help me God, if I see this again I’m going to scream. It tells me you became a fan in 2010. I’ve been watching the Blackhawks 35 years.
That is so me when I see a girl who is like “I love the Avengers, they are so cool”, I’m like “bitch please. If I told you about the Avengers before May 2008 you would say you don’t care about the nerdy s~~~.” As far as I am concerned if you only watch the movies you can never be a hardcore fan of any superhero because you are only seeing one small fraction plus if you loved those characters so much why wouldn’t want to read monthly adventures of them? Nothing makes me more mad than seeing pics of girls at Comic Con who never cared about this kind of stuff before it was turned into movies. Right now everyone is all like “OMG Guardians of the Galaxy it is so cool”, but if that movie came out before before Marvel movies took off those same women and even men, wouldn’t give 2 s~~~s about that movie. I pray DC does another Green Lantern movie soon because if Marvel does a Nova corps movie first I can just see those women “OMG DC copied Marvel, The Green Lanterns are just a rip off of the Nova Corps”.
RE: “…do women want to explore ancient ruins or cool s~~~ like that? No. Thousands of dollars to sit on a f~~~ing beach. How stupid are you? I hate sand.”
This is so true. Been there. Done that. Why women want to go to the other side of the world to sit on a beach maintained by a resort only for the purpose of looking like every other beach at a resort I cannot understand. And just beyond the walls of the resort there’s a real world to explore where people are living real lives, eating real food, working, getting dirty, doing real s~~~. That’s interesting.
For here in Toronto the best place to pick up women are in grocery stores and bike/walk paths. You don’t see too many fatties on bike paths. If you want to find some hotties that aren’t bar sluts that’s the place to go.
That’s good about the bike paths. I’ve heard horror stories about girls in Toronto.
Don’t forget also wanting to sleep with some random drunk loser to make herself feel good and like she has still got it, only to show up on Maury 9 months later giving him a DNA test.
How do they say it? “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.” My cousin let his girlfriend go to Vegas with two of her friends and lo and behold, the pictures show up on Facebook and Instagram with her and a dozen c~~~s in her face.
Fuck this planet.“What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.”
I have an automatic reply to that now. It’s always the +40 year-old “woo girls” who use that tired line. They get together and go on girl-only trips to try and let their hair down and play groupy sluts for a weekend. Then they come back, announcing they were “bad” on Facebook and posting pictures of themselves holding c~~~tails and shouting “WOO!!” while guzzling shots of tequila. And this to let their Facebook “friends” know they went out and “had a good time” . You know the type. A little grey hair, stuffing themselves into their skinny jeans they haven’t been able to squeeze into since they were 21, catching a Justin Bieber concert and eating brunch at the Hard Rock – with sequined shirts that say “BEBE” on them. Leykis paints the perfect picture of this.
…. when in reality ….
“We know exactly what happened in Vegas. You got drunk and danced with each other”.
If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.I like to laugh
F~~~ a clown. That should do it.
Totally convinced these t~~~s post that line because they have nothing of value to add so they start telling everyone what they like. I like wine. I like fine dining. I like laughing. I like the secret. I breathe air. I like wearing jeans and little black dress. I eat food. I want I like I want I like I like I like Me me me It’s pathetic. You want to see into their vapid uninteresting minds? Here you go http://justgirlythings.tumblr.com
That’s your front row seat into the canyon of stupid which was floating through her brain when she was 12-15 years old, and at 35, she is thinking exactly the same s~~~. Nothing. “wanting this”, “wanting that”, “i like this”, “i like that”, cute socks and a dozen pink iPhone covers and she thinks this makes her “interesting”. That tumblr feed is showing you what she grew up on and 20 years later she is the same kid
Last Book Read: The Secret
Women keep secrets like they’re poisonous.
I like to travel
I heard some PUA mention this is supposed to be some kind of clue for guys to be in tune with what women really mean when they say that. Now I don’t give a s~~~ what a woman I never met wants, likes, or expects me to do, but I don’t think this means “travel”. I think it’s her way of saying “get me the f~~~ out of my miserable lonely mundane life” so I can imagine whatever I want.
In the same way that an Amerit~~~ will be all bitchy in her hometown when you say something to her in a cafe, when she decides to take a trip to Italy, suddenly she is way more open about being approached and starts treating men differently and being responsive in a way she never is at home. It’s a mind block that she puts up in her head when she’s home, and then pulls down when she’s abroad. Italian dudes know this so they douse themselves in Azarro and thicken up the accent “e…. seniora? Would you like to go for a .. eh…. how you say…. cafe?”
OH MY GOD!!! !HE’S SO ROMANTIC! GUYS AT HOME ARE SUCH UNROMATIC LOSERS! IT WAS LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT!!!! AND IT WAS THE MOST AMAZING EXPERIENCE OF MY ENTIRE LIFE!
No it f~~~ing wasn’t. Some asked you if you wanted to go for a coffee. How the f~~~ is that any different than your pathetic existence on match.com? Freak. They will make up any s~~~ in their heads.
Gosh I could go on…
I’ve started just snapping screencaps of them. I used to browse the POF profiles out of interest, now I browse them out of a need for a laugh. My latest favourite is:
‘make me laugh’
but honestly aside from telling such idiots to go hire a f~~~ing clown I think it’s much better to just put a profile up yourself and do the same back. Of course you’ll get zero responses but then that’s the point – don’t date women online, they are a bunch of dumb, desperate, deluded arseholes with the intellectual and emotional depth of a pork sausage, which is probably exactly what they’re after anyway.
RE: JohnGalt
I keep a profile on OKStupid for entertainment purposes. Some women do in fact contact me, but invariably it takes the form of dropping lots of hints that, now that they have done the exceptional thing and written to me first, it’s my obligation to turn myself inside-out trying to entertain and please them. I swat this down right away.
In other exchanges with KeyMaster I have noted that I have not in my own life experienced what other men call “The Wall,” but it nevertheless gives me a certain pleasure to withhold the validation women my age are still seeking as they hang out on dating sites (no less than the way women dress in public with the intent to catch male eyes while deploring being wolf-whistled or otherwise treated as a sexual object).
make me laugh
I know women in my every day life who say that s~~~. Just last year an old friend and his wife were in town and we met for dinner. Her ass hadn’t eve hit the chair and she says “make me laugh”. I said: “you make me laugh”, and then I didn’t. She laughed. So there you go.
After a period of “online dating” I found the best way to get a response back was to just insult her.
• “Why do you look like a chihuahua in two of your photos? Bad hair day?”
• “So you’re a model. Whassamatter, couldn’t you get a real job?”
• “Why are there so many shots of you in swimwear? Can’t you afford clothes?”I amused myself sending that s~~~, and she will drop what she is doing to message you back (sometimes in many hateful paragraphs!) with such hateful enthusiasm … you have to wonder why, when she wouldn’t respond to something kind. Why doesn’t she write back when you say something kind or neutral? It reveals everything about her, and I don’t have a to waste a minute with her because I know EXACTLY what she is like.
Sumbit your snapshots at any time.
@braininavat (I should really take another look at OKStupid and PlentyOfSluts). I would get contacted too, but in such a way that they would “wink” or say “come chase me!!!”. It’s like when a woman gives you her number, she still wants YOU to call and come running after her. Like the “old days” when a woman would deliberately drop a hanky so that you will bend down and pick it up for her. Honey, when I want your number I will tell you I want it. And if a woman were to drop a hanky, I would look down at it, point and say “you dropping something”.
If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.That’s good about the bike paths. I’ve heard horror stories about girls in Toronto.
In Toronto it seems women under 30 are generally friendlier and more approachable. There is the odd one that’s older but that’s what it looks like from my observation. If women 30+ gets upset guys go after women under 30 it’s their own fault.
"If pussy was a stock it would be plummeting right now because you've flooded the market with it. You're giving it away too easy." - Dave Chapelle
That’s good about the bike paths. I’ve heard horror stories about girls in Toronto.
In Toronto it seems women under 30 are generally friendlier and more approachable. There is the odd one that’s older but that’s what it looks like from my observation. If women 30+ gets upset guys go after women under 30 it’s their own fault.
"If pussy was a stock it would be plummeting right now because you've flooded the market with it. You're giving it away too easy." - Dave Chapelle
I like to laugh
F~~~ a clown. That should do it.
I forgot that one! What about when they say “F~~~ me silly!” Should we dress like Bozo?
Good rant Doc.
I’m trying to come up with more material….after I pick up The Last of Us and play it for awhile. Be back later.
Fuck this planet.I recently re activated my okcupid profile to prove a point to my friends and family I have bad luck with women and I haven’t noticed some of the things you guys have like a list of crazy demands. Actually the profiles of the girls the site matches me too don’t have anything to crazy in their profiles. However I look at some of these girls and are like “why do they need a dating site to find men,they are attractive enough to easily meet someone in public”
@thebard What age ranges of women are you looking at? If it is early to mid 20s then you wont see much bulls~~~ yet. Its after 30 that the insanity starts to come out.
Good s~~~ right here! Online dating is a joke. My profile had almost nothing on it except the message that we should go out and meet right away. One of them says how do I know you’re not some creep? I told her that’s my question and that’s why we should arrange a time and place to find out just how creepy she really is. Im thinking no way she goes for it, and then she does!!!!!!!! So we meet at some hotel lounge bar and she’s got a great rack, and was pretty but her ass was like an 18 wheeler. Just couldn’t believe it. I should have asked how do I know your ass isn’t so big you’ll need two seat belts. Christ, it was like hanging over the edges, I couldnt bring myself to look and made up some story how I had to go home and clean my andirons. The fatties are right out of control.
@johngalt Good idea and we are in total agreement.
@cap Toronto has some nice girls but only on the surface. Way down their souls are black. This goes double for french-canadian chicks from Montreal. Reading a male forum on the laws and men’s experience with marriage and divorce in Canada, it was shocking what I found. I only wish I catalogued some of it like you did, but now my eyes are wide open. I wasn’t expecting to come across so many other guys who had the same s~~~ to talk about and originally thought it was just in my head and nobody else would believe it.
<cite>@iggythunders said:</cite>
@thebard What age ranges of women are you looking at? If it is early to mid 20s then you wont see much bulls~~~ yet. Its after 30 that the insanity starts to come out.Women 25-27. Although strangely enough I have found a few girls who have 2 kids. If they were married or had a long term boyfriend I guess it makes sense if they have 2 kids, but if it is 2 kids from different dads like I feel like it is than there is a problem lol.
I made a profile on Benaughty.com recently. My profile header read, “If you can take a beating, I’m all yours..”
My profile basically explains exactly what I want my women to do. “Clean my house in skimpy outfits, shut up unless I ask you a question, be my personal alarm clock that wakes me up with a blowjob” for example. I probably get more mail from women than most men. Most tell me I’m a sexist pig, others ask me whether I’m serious and there have been only a very few who have actually replied and told me my profile was a great read.
My experience so far is, I’ve found 90% of women on there are purely using the site to help masturbate while a guy talks dirty to them over chat. The rest are there for validation purposes only. I’ve found none willing to actually meet up. The mere mention of a meet up shuts them up or they start talking about s~~~ like “trust” or “it’s complicated”. You also get spammed by webcam girls and hoaxers preying on the desperate guys. It’s all bulls~~~.
I’ll be working on a new profile that will basically have mock personal descriptions and phrases that women use in their profiles with subtext underneath translating what it all REALLY means. I wonder responses that one will get.
<cite>@murve said:</cite>
The mere mention of a meet up shuts them up or they start talking about s~~~ like “trust” or “it’s complicated”. .On ok cupid one of the questions “are you willing to meet someone from ok cupid?”. Naturally I say “totally wiling”, but some girls say “hesitant, but might consider it”. If it is a dating site why bother joining if you aren’t going to meet someone in person?
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