Home › Forums › Marriage & Divorce › One Woman's Attention Grabbing Delusions
Tagged: #Dishonesty, divorce, freedom, marriage, Single Dad
This topic contains 38 replies, has 18 voices, and was last updated by 
bigboy83 2 years ago.
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My wife of nearly 7 years (three children) left on July 1st 2016. She asked me to meet her at a local tap room, and without looking at me for more than a passive glance, announced that she wanted a divorce. I knew something was up when she called me at 4pm on a Friday afternoon saying that she had found a “babysitter” for our kids and just wanted to see me (she never did stuff like this) but I never anticipated she was at the point of divorce. It was always up to me to coordinate with my parents if there was to be any kind of a “date” opportunity. Anyways, haven’t felt my gut retreat to the ass of my seat like it did in that moment ever before or since. She then got up and drove off, taking my children to parts unknown with her for 4 days. She would only text that she wanted me out of the house by the time she planned to return 5 days later, and that she was shutting off her phone.
I had just started a terrific new job 3 weeks prior to this and I had thought things were going quite well at home. My ex was not verbally or physically abused EVER but she never hesitated to tell me “F~~~ YOU” if the feeling was right. I made ways for her to become a certified birth doula, start (and burn down) her own photography business, and stay home during the days with our boys. I worked my ass off as a 24/7 on call security site manager for Wells Fargo and provided a beautiful home for my family. It all fell apart when she finally succumb to the truth of her own sexuality as a lesbian (which she never voiced to me in marriage). I was also too naïve to be able to understand that a woman with the maternal instincts of my ex, could also be a lesbian who was more interested in simply having children than a family. She would eventually end up moving in with her muse after less than 2 months of first meeting her. I kept the house but had to pay tens of thousands to buy her out because I had so much equity. My family helped me with this otherwise it never would have been possible. My main goal was prioritizing what was best for my 3 boys (1, 4, and 6 yrs old at the time) and providing as much normalcy as possible. Considering that their mother saw fit to relocate them into a foreign place with another woman who decided to make up for what she lacked in looks by having a home full of dogs, cats, chickens, fish, and lizards.
Anyways, a friend sent me a piece of literature that my dear ex wrote recently that really frames things up nicely. I’ll let you read it and then explain the inadequacies of her factual recall abilities:
This is actually a whole blog full of things like “you deserve to have someone support you through ANY decision you may want to make, damn the consequences”. It’s basically an ode to selfishness through the eyes of a woman who says she wants to support mothers, but herself had to cut her own ability to mother by more than 60% to follow her own sexual proclivities. Notice where she says “I had no income to speak of”. This is patently untrue. She had 2 separate business and owned a photography studio. While she rarely put money in our joint account, I was always told that she spent her income on things for the house and kids so that was why she wasn’t making deposits. She asked me to grab her an article of clothing once and I discovered an envelope of close to a thousand dollars that she must have forgotten the location of. She sheepishly told me that it was a “vacation” fund she started for us. She never was very good at lying. She also had access to a credit card that was paid by the account I put my paychecks into. When I asked her if it was appropriate for her to continue spending money I would have to pay, she responded “sign the divorce papers and it will stop”. If you take the time to read any or all of her blog, I hope it is instructive. This is what men in our current society are up against and it’s a birds eye view to say the least.
“The Village” was actually the foundation for my ex and her business partner to start a brick and mortar birth center in Sioux Falls SD. I supported this effort, and my wife at the time 100%. This was all pro bono stuff and it meant I’d get home from work, and she’d leave to “work”. This birth center came to a crashing halt as my ex is a profound bridge burner. The business partner split and took the center in a new direction, and my ex got the “village” Facebook group, and this blog apparently.
Personally, I never saw myself in this situation. To add to all of the drama and craziness of divorce, my exes’ father was diagnosed with leukemia during the divorce process and died 9 months later. He passed not knowing that his daughter split up her family to be with another woman. The last text he ever sent me said “you need to figure out what you did, admit it, and pull you marriage back together”. I never had the heart to send him photos and items I had received from friends of my ex and her new muse together around our rather small city. He was dealing with enough and I thought my ex was an independent, strong woman who could be honest with her own dad. I’m curious if she’ll ever be independent and strong enough to curb my child support payments to her? Not holding my breath.
For other single fathers out there, CHERISH THIS GIFT YOU HAVE BEEN GIVEN! I had no idea the box I was living in until this woman exited my life. I had to fight tooth and nail to get my children 50/50 because I married a controlling, dishonest, purveyor of drama. Remember what I said before about her saying she’d stop spending on my credit card if I signed the divorce papers? She was actually trying to pressure me to take 60/40 custody of my boys. This was tantamount to blackmail but she was never held accountable for it because I just wanted it to be over and to avoid court (which I actually pulled off). The absolute best thing in the world is realizing my fatherly instincts now uninhibited by this sad excuse for a female, mother, friend, partner, etc. My time with my boys is so fruitful now, and it is the single most painful thing to realize that my “once married always married mentality” would have inhibited my ability to give my 3 sons the absolute best of me. I am truly thankful for where I find myself today and the MGTOW community.
"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you like everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." E.E. Cummings.
That is quit a story, sadly it is all too common. I suspect you should have posted this in the Introductions, but that is merely a formality. Let me welcome you to the site. We are stronger with you joining us.
As for your situation The LBGTGWFTS WTF the gay community tells us over and over that people are BORN gay. Sooooo your wife was gay for years and didn’t know it? OH she just discovered she was gay…yeah right.
If she has been gay her whole life then everything and I MEAN everything she ever told you from the moment she said “I Do” was a big fat f~~~ing lie–designed to delude you. You are fortunate to be free of her. Her life will begin spiraling down, and you can just sit back and watch the burn!
I hope you get custody of your boys. The last thing they need is to be exposed to un-natural relations~~~s and spend their days listening to consummate liar and some bull dyke blathering.
Louder, are you from Sioux Falls? Only 50 miles north of there . We should try to find some time to meet for a beer and swap war stories. And this site and fine men saved me from my own despair, I am forever grateful to every one here .Hope you have a great evening!
Welcome Louder…Cut off from the ex and live a life for your own. The blue pill is still there and you need to keep ingesting red pills to recover faster and have peace with yourself. You are your own man again…
Your ex made HER CHOICE to turn her back on your marriage. Accept it and let her go. Hope you are recovering well brother. The world turns upside down when this happens and you need to grab control of life before it spirals out of control…Good luck, learn more, and welcome…
I stand with feet apart and let my balls hang free...Manginas dont have balls...See how they stand and sit at the whim of their masters...
Anonymous7Welcome home.
They all make noise afterwards, proclaiming how right they are. Wonder why they have to assert it so loudly? Think about it: it’s ’cause they know they’re wrong. Also, this is their chance to be the whiny brats they were born to be.
They do it by downplaying the value of family, their marriage contract, and others to some level of skiddish consumer reflex. Like returning a half-used bottle of laundry detergent at Walmart. The other sinners in the world nod their heads in mutual agreement.
There are no virtue police. Better watch yourself out there.
"Once you’ve taken care of the basics, there’s very little in this world for which your life is worth deferring." -David Hansson. "It’s not when women are mean or nasty that anything is out of the ordinary. It’s when they are NICE to you that you have to be on high alert..." -Jackinov.
Sorry but no a lesbian never takes dick she is bisexual. Either way welcome to MGTOW.com I hope to see more of you.
A MGTOW is a man who is not a woman's bitch!
Welcome Louder. Good that you are here. This place will help you heal.
Feminism was funded by bankers/politicians to create more taxpayers. MGTOW IS FREEDOM https://archive.org/details/mgtowisfreedomblurayready
My uncles 1st wife left him for another woman 20 years ago (his gain really except losing the house and 2/3 of his teen children being manipulated to hate him).
I’m sure all this non-binary gender crap will only amplify this sort of behavior in the hive.
"Society is to blame" Denton
Anonymous1Welcome Louder.
what is it with women wanting to tell the world about their divorce? My ex did the same (blog) thing. I read it once soon after separation, it p~~~ed me off with the same sort of deluded thinking. me me me me me.
I vowed never to go near it again. Make it a clean cut, not a nasty festering wound that gets picked at.
Can I respectfully suggest you do the same and stay away from her s~~~. You will feel better and heal faster.
Ignore the information from (well meaning?) friends. Just let them know you DGAF; I’ve been doing that every time my parents ask how the ex is. ‘I don’t know, and I don’t care. I’m not interested in her life beyond ensuring she has her s~~~ together enough to look after the kids when she has them. Next question’
The last text he ever sent me said “you need to figure out what you did, admit it, and pull you marriage back together”.
He didn’t die a moment too soon.
Rise above her s~~~, and remain no contact.
That is quit a story, sadly it is all too common. I suspect you should have posted this in the Introductions, but that is merely a formality. Let me welcome you to the site. We are stronger with you joining us.
I hope you get custody of your boys. The last thing they need is to be exposed to un-natural relations~~~s and spend their days listening to consummate liar and some bull dyke blathering.
Thank you Pete! I appreciate the warm welcome. I was able to get 50/50 custody with my children. They will be raised to be respectful, hardworking, and independent men. The ex was going to take me to court to try and push her agenda that she should have the kids more than I. One morning I finally took off the kid gloves and explained over the phone that if anyone is fit to have the kids more than 50%, it would be me. I laid out all the reasons and she hung up. She then called back 20 minutes later and simply said “OK”. I was elated for the first time in the whole divorce s~~~ storm. I hereby swear to inject enough constructive testosterone into my boys that all the bull dyke blathering they will be subjected to will be of little consequence.
Thanks for your words and support brother!
"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you like everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." E.E. Cummings.
Louder, are you from Sioux Falls? Only 50 miles north of there . We should try to find some time to meet for a beer and swap war stories. And this site and fine men saved me from my own despair, I am forever grateful to every one here .Hope you have a great evening!
Hello Bob. Glad to hear you found this outlet and it helped you so much. I had just stumbled onto MGTOW a couple of months before the ex started all the fun. Seems almost providential at this point. Anyways, yes I am from Sioux Falls and am always up for beer (unless I’m at the gym). If you use the book of faces, you can find me here https://www.facebook.com/jon.parker.50767
Glad you’re out there man!
"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you like everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." E.E. Cummings.
Welcome Louder…Cut off from the ex and live a life for your own. The blue pill is still there and you need to keep ingesting red pills to recover faster and have peace with yourself. You are your own man again…
Your ex made HER CHOICE to turn her back on your marriage. Accept it and let her go. Hope you are recovering well brother. The world turns upside down when this happens and you need to grab control of life before it spirals out of control…Good luck, learn more, and welcome…
Hey NERD. Words to live by I’ve found. Letting her go was the easy part, my problems were most felt in the arena of my “once married, always married” mindset. This is how I was raised and it was a major paradigm shift mixed with feelings of failure and self deprecating “what if’s”. I avoided posting on this site during the highly emotive phase of all this and am now in a very healthy place. Life is VERY good and I can never imagine going back into the doldrums of a controlling woman. I appreciate your encouragement and advice brother!
"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you like everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." E.E. Cummings.
Welcome home.
Many thanks Grue!
Good to be here."To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you like everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." E.E. Cummings.
They all make noise afterwards, proclaiming how right they are. Wonder why they have to assert it so loudly? Think about it: it’s ’cause they know they’re wrong. Also, this is their chance to be the whiny brats they were born to be.
They do it by downplaying the value of family, their marriage contract, and others to some level of skiddish consumer reflex. Like returning a half-used bottle of laundry detergent at Walmart. The other sinners in the world nod their heads in mutual agreement.
There are no virtue police. Better watch yourself out there.
Thanks Stealth. Absolutely could not have said it better myself. It’s sad how people who proclaim the loudest that they have finally found themselves, or become self actualized have to sell it with such volume and fervor. Truly comfortable, sane, kind, and loving types don’t need to wear their lifestyle on their sleeve as some kind of twisted daily reminder that others condone their choices. It’s a typical refrain in this entitled, selfish, and overly emotive society in which we live. I’m taking care of myself and my boys and plan to let nothing encroach on that mission.
Thanks for your words and affirmations!
"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you like everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." E.E. Cummings.
Sorry but no a lesbian never takes dick she is bisexual. Either way welcome to MGTOW.com I hope to see more of you.
I see your point Atton and tend to agree. However; I assert that the term “lesbian” is wholly appropriate for my ex. When you consider she was raised in a VERY strict traditional christian home, coupled with an almost obsessed fixation on have lots of children (I only get her about halfway there) I truly think she was willing to sacrifice taking sperm in the only way that would be acceptable to her social constructs. She may very well be bi, but all the photos of her newfound freedom to grow armpit hair and dress like a man suggest a largely lesbian slant.
Thanks for the welcome!
"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you like everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." E.E. Cummings.
Welcome Louder. Good that you are here. This place will help you heal.
Thanks Christopher. Feeling the effects already.
Appreciate it brother!"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you like everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." E.E. Cummings.
My uncles 1st wife left him for another woman 20 years ago (his gain really except losing the house and 2/3 of his teen children being manipulated to hate him).
I’m sure all this non-binary gender crap will only amplify this sort of behavior in the hive.
Hey Shin, that’s so terrible that your uncles kids went through alienation at the hands of a manipulative woman who apparently balances her self worth on getting others to tow her line. That’s complete and utter garbage and I hope parents who do that to their kids have a healthy day of reckoning. I consider myself lucky in that my boys are very young and my influence overshadows anything their mother can throw at them. I avoid conflict like the plague but will rise to defend at any cost when my children are involved. Glad your uncle has you on his side.
I mean, what does biology have on the sound and stable minds/emotions of our current society!?
Thanks brother!
"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you like everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." E.E. Cummings.
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