On being a new MGTOW and how it feels.

[MitzrealParticipant 76]

Hey guys, Mitzreal here. I’d like to start by thanking you all for providing this safe space for men. The point of this post is that I’ve been a MGTOW for about a month now and I started out excited happy and liberated. I then moved on to rage and frustration with the gynocentric culture that we live in. The problem I’m having now is that society seems built to make you feel like you’re going insane when you become a MGTOW.

I have the additional problem of suffering from “Nice Guy Syndrome” and am reading “No More Mr Nice Guy”. I find myself meeting most of the positive and negative traits lined up there. I need a place where I can vent, find a mentor, and have support from men who are recovering from being a “Nice Guy”. I looked into support groups, and or therapists but none are MGTOW oriented… They are all about helping you have healthy relationships with women by not being the nice guy that women loathe.

What are you’re thoughts on societies assault on your sanity as you’re adjusting to a new paradigm of not worshiping the vagina? For no longer wanting to be a provider or a breeder because the legal liability and soul destruction just aren’t worth it.

Do any of you have any tips on getting past the rage and frustration? How do you get past feeling like your sanity is being accosted by society? Has anyone here successfully gotten over being a “Nice Guy” or read and applied the principles of “No More Mr Nice Guy” in a MGTOW non pursuit of females manner?

I appreciate any feedback and as always all of your thoughts and experiences on the matter.

[willastParticipant 23]

Ok, I have a few thoughts on what you are going through.  The first is about society doing things to make you insane.  I think it is that the more you take the red pills, the more you actually see how things are.  You are freeing your mind and yourself and its a good thing.  I compare it to a time when everyone thought the world was flat and then someone found it was round.  They could never go back to thinking it was flat.  MGTOW is like that for me.  I see things differently now.  I have more benefits because of it.  I feel more comfortable around men.  I have more own time and space.  However, I had to get new fantasies.  The White Knight fantasies I had just didn’t seem right anymore as I got more information on what MGTOW meant to me.  So the world is the way it always is.  You are seeing it in a new way and there will be some growing pains as you let go of things that you used to believe.

For the “Nice Guy”, I also read the books and saw myself in that but couldn’t find my way out of it through that work.  I always thought that I was “bad” and could never figure out how to be good.  Saying that I loved and approved of myself didn’t mean anything to me.  I didn’t have a process for doing that.  I knew that I had to accept myself and not let other people be the master of my life.  How do you do that.  I asked questions on this site and got lots of great feedback.  One that really struck me was to be “selfish”.  In being selfish I take care of myself, set boundaries naturally and love myself by the actions I am taking for my own selfishness.  It also helps to get over rage and frustration because in taking care of yourself, you let those things go or speak up and do things so that they are no longer in your life.  Having that in your body doesn’t do anything to the world.  It only hurts you so let it go.

Finally, keep taking Red Pills, keep reading here and keep asking questions and respond to other posts.  I find it helps me clear my thoughts and get out of myself and perhaps help others.

Tx

 

[MitzrealParticipant 76]

Thanks for the advice Elmoseed. I know for a fact I will have to let go of using my oldest bestfriend as a sounding board. Unfortunately for me my oldest friend is a female who instantly insinuated that I was insane for taking on mgtow philosophy and for ranting my frustrations. Pretty much the standard dash of get back on the plantation slave, how dare you have emotions you worthless worker drone. You’re here to support and listen to my feelings how dare you have these feelings which insult me and all women because you see through our s~~~. Its you who’s not taking responsibility for yourself and above all NAWALT NAWALT DON”T BE A DOUCHE BAG CAUSE YOU”RE ACTING LIKE ONE NAWALT NAWALT NAWALT.

I admit all this is my fault for being a nice guy and white knight for so long. I saw all the things I hated in myself in all other men and therefore didn’t build the brotherhoods I should have. I endeavored for so long not to be like these douche bags that I just hated myself and was another miserable mangina polluting the surface of this world. Emancipation from these thoughts and feelings is why I will always be a MGTOW and count taking the red pill as one of the greatest decisions of my life.

However this being said I’m a newbie at these things and any tips on how to get through these initial hurdles would be appreciated.

I unfortunately titled this thread wrong, but after years of trying to be what society says we should be I didn’t know how to ask for help.

[Lazarus LongParticipant 365]

Mitzreal wrote:

Unfortunately for me my oldest friend is a female who instantly insinuated that I was insane for taking on mgtow philosophy and for ranting my frustrations. Pretty much the standard dash of get back on the plantation slave, how dare you have emotions you worthless worker drone. You’re here to support and listen to my feelings how dare you have these feelings which insult me and all women because you see through our s~~~. Its you who’s not taking responsibility for yourself and above all NAWALT NAWALT DON”T BE A DOUCHE BAG CAUSE YOU”RE ACTING LIKE ONE NAWALT NAWALT NAWALT.

This reminded me of Aynd Rands Anthem

I would like to point out that this is definitely an evolution of self and that the “machine” will always say whatever necessary to bring you back into the fold. They will use every trick imaginable to do so including gaslighting to try and destroy the truth you have found before it gets to powerful. You might want to check this thread out as it directly relates to your question. /forums/topic/being-a-human-utility-and-friend-zone-instance-1316595/

Willfully turning aside from the truth is treason to one's self. -Terry Goodkind

[Anonymous 42]

Hey Mitzreal, not that it matters, my attitude demands respect, not acceptance but respect. MGHOWS are respected like a fine poker player, it’s not a game, though we joke allot here. It’s all about calling their bluff, nothing more nothing less…….

[AFTParticipant 2726]

@mitzreal it is a bitter pill indeed.  Unfortunately once you take it you can’t go back to the comfort of the Blue Pill delusion.  The most difficult thing is to forge ahead without any direction or support, that’s why this site is a lifesaver.  You learn, you keep your eyes open and see the reality, you move on and find relief in not being the Blue Pill mangina anymore as Red Pill examples keep pouring in, you find comfort in being right.  Don’t forget that the first people to think the world was round were demonized as crazy heretics.  Eventually you’ll settle in on a new Red Pill reality based on self awareness, self interest, and self sufficiency.

In a way the gynocentric society we live in is pretty sweet as long as you play your cards right, no marriage, no LTR, no pussy begging and you’re set.  F~~~ anyone that doesn’t agree you do exactly as you want, what more can a man ask for?

When the war cemeteries are half full of the corpses of dead conscripted women, only then will women have earned the right to speak of equality. Sidecar “A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do.” - Bob Dylan

[BrainPilotParticipant 7640]

Mitz,
What elmo said about feeling selfish is most valuable. In an environment that constantly tells you that your purpose is to sacrifice your own interests to serve someone else’s, making and acting on the decision to redirect your efforts to your own interests should feel ‘selfish’ initially when you do it. But the negative connotation that’s been attached to that word ‘selfish’ is part of the lie you’ve been told over and over. Your abilities, whatever they are, are a result of gifts from God and you own efforts to practice and sharpen them. It is not ‘selfish’ to claim something that is already yours. You are one person serving the interests of one person. There is nothing actually selfish about that.

What actually IS selfish is a person who devotes all her effort to her own interests, while simultaneously trying to manipulate a man to ALSO sacrifice all his abilities to also serve her interests. Selfish is attempting to commandeer the abilities of 2 people, yourself and someone else to both serve the interests of only you. Who does this?

‘Selfish’ is a negative label attached to a man focusing his efforts on his own interests in order to shame him back to the plantation. Ironic that the source of the shaming ‘selfish’ label is the person trying to lie, cheat and steal her way into receiving the benefits of someone else’s abilities without reciprocating. A slave master shaming a slave that the slave is ‘selfish’ for choosing not to be a slave…would seem completely illogical, and it is. Who is so illogical as this?

Aside from small children, where else do you see this combination of illogical AND selfish?

As a recovered (and still recovering) ‘nice guy’, I can tell you that the selfish feeling you get when you start focusing your abilities to your own interests…is a sign that you are headed in the right direction. And if you try to think back as far as you can to that very first time you ever heard that doing so was ‘selfish’ of you, I can almost promise you that you’ll find it was a female voice saying it…and probably at a time when your abilities were just beginning to be productive and useful. Whose timing is that accurate in the effort to get what they want?

Ultimately, it’s just little kids in adult bodies adjusting their behavior to get something they want to have given to them without reciprocating.

Look, it's not my fault that tornado dropped a house on your sister. Now get back on your broom and get your ass out of here... and take your monkeys with you

[MitzrealParticipant 76]

Thanks Brain Pilot, your perspective is much appreciated and helped a lot with sorting out the s~~~ storm of rejecting the gynocentric brow beating… I mean indoctrination… I mean guilt trip from hell… I mean culture we are all raised in these days. I agree with your assessment the self hate and toxic shame that we as recovering nice guys comes from women 99% of the time. With their under handed slights that any accomplishment we achieve just isn’t good enough. To a mothers shaming of the fact that you’re a preteen and discovered that it feels good to tug on what makes you a man. To how dare you as a sexually maturing boy be interested in seeing naked women. That’s just part, the other parts are how dare you be such a destructive kid (we all know boys break stuff as kids WAR IS HELL lol). To your grades just aren’t good enough, to the constant female parenting tactic of trying to shame away behaviors they don’t like. All of these leave lasting scars on our unconscious mind causing those of us who caught the nice guy syndrome to constantly think that we are bad, that we’re the problem. Its an eye opening if paradigm shattering moment when you take the red pill and realize that while you had a part to play in all these relationship failures. It was always because women don’t love the way you do and you had the gall to not serve at their beck and call and if you did you had the gall to have an issue when she parties all night with other men to express your frustration and hurt.

It’ll be a long road I can tell, but as long as I can come here and progressively tear open more old wounds and share my hurts in a safe place I can assure a positive prognosis. I’d like to thank you all for your judgement free support.

[KingOfTheSeaParticipant 1270]

Mitzreal, welcome. I’m new as well, suffered a lot from “Nice Guy” syndrome as well. A few thoughts, for whatever they’re worth:

-The more you learn, the more you’ll be able to recognize the stuff you read about in your daily life. Think of it as pre-loading your conscious for the real world. Soon, you’ll be able to spot this stuff quite easily in the real world.

-I recommend every man make a simple code for himself. Mine has three parts; feel free to use or ignore or modify as you see fit.

1. Treat your boys like your girls and your girls like your boys. By this, I mean you hold the girls in your life to the same standard as you would the men. If there’s something a girl is doing that you would have busted her teeth in for if she were a man, don’t stand for it. Similarly, support the men in your life. Build lasting bonds with them, show your appreciation, let them know they’re incredible because, let’s be honest, good men are not treated well enough in our society.

2. Don’t have sex unless you’re willing to accept the consequences. And I mean ALL of them: Condom-pokers, unplanned pregnancies, STDs, gold diggers, obsessive psychos, the whole bag. Be prepared, because everyone wants to believe the worst will never happen to them, but it does happen to someone.

3. Go your own way. Do the things you like to do, be the man you want to be. Someone gets in the way of that, treat it like an attempt on your life and take it seriously. Get them out of there, because they’re just going to try to drag you down if you’re not firm with them.

 

I recommend the books Sex-Ployation and the Manipulated Man as well. Good primers on female behavior in the Western world. Good luck.

[Anonymous 42]

KingOfTheSea wrote:

good men are not treated well enough in our society.

Good men are treated like s~~~ in our society, If only unicorns treat men RIGHT; how do the rest of them treat men? So a well treated man has a unicorn (mythical creature) I never, ever met a unicorn, has anyone else? So we can agree that feminism has destroyed all the Unicorns and buried them a long time ago 1800’s. The human misery is incalculable, the damages are extensive incomprehensible.

I declared WAR on feminism, I swallow my pride whole, I apologized and explained to others here my editing transgressions, I wanted to dissapear like SoulMan (bad decision for the cause).

I’m not GAY, but I will suck a dick, and take it up the ass to farther this cause! At this point nothing disgusts me more than feminism and how it ruined patriarchy, turning MEN into little boys that the OBEY a woman’s unlawful commands. We can “TOGETHER” and “COLLECTIVELY” starve this parasite and its social order to DEATH, rid it’s destruction from the face of the earth! ONE MAN AT A TIME! I see a vision of hundreds of men a day being rescued from this gynocentric HELL, and eventually restoring natural order. Remember to STARVE the creature, NO affection, NO love, No special treatment, NO attention, Pretend they’re ghosts……………..

[KingOfTheSeaParticipant 1270]

Anonymous wrote:

Good men are treated like s~~~ in our society, If only unicorns treat men RIGHT; how do the rest of them treat men? So a well treated man has a unicorn (mythical creature) I never, ever met a unicorn, has anyone else? So we can agree that feminism has destroyed all the Unicorns and buried them a long time ago 1800’s.

So much truth here. All the more reason why #1 is important.

[StargazerParticipant 12505]

That feeling you get once you realize the truth and start to go your own way is the current of society trying to lead you in the same direction as everyone else. When you’re moving along with this current, you feel like a connected part of a stable whole… but turn against the current and you realize the other members of society are not a stable whole, they’re all just swept along at the same speed by the current you are now fighting.

Once you turn against the mainstream culture, people will use social pressure such as shaming, isolation and the force of law to attempt to steer you back into line… they’ll say it’s for your own good but really it’s for them to validate their own life decisions and the “inevitability” of the consequences of those decisions.

A true counter-culturalist is a dangerous person to have around and other people will try to hammer you back into line or marginalize you to protect themselves from your ideas and actions. You must be prepared to give up the majority of the relationships you currently have… friends, family, colleagues… as they will not be able to accept your new point of view and know that to hear you talk about your experiences with it will be toxic for them.

I found that a period of self-imposed isolation was beneficial for my transition. Oh, I’ve been MGTOW for a long time in many ways, but once I accepted the fact consciously and realized the consequences of that acceptance, I withdrew from most of the relationships I had at the time and am starting to form new ones that are compatible with my beliefs and the recent changes in my lifestyle. My new relationships are not all with other MGTOW, but new people accept you for what you are to them at the time you meet much more easily than old people will accept your changes so it makes things easier to just find new people to associate with.

And it also doesn’t hurt to have a forum like this where you can share and test your ideals with like minded men who are doing the same.

[sidecarParticipant 35842]

Mitzreal wrote:

Do any of you have any tips on getting past the rage and frustration?

Learn to take amusement, pleasure, and satisfaction from their rage and frustration with you.  Because believe me, they are a lot more angry and frustrated by your refusing to be their chump that you are with their lies to get you to be one.

Women trying to shame you is your best indicator you are doing the right thing.

Mitzreal wrote:

Pretty much the standard dash of get back on the plantation slave, how dare you have emotions you worthless worker drone. You’re here to support and listen to my feelings how dare you have these feelings which insult me and all women because you see through our s~~~. Its you who’s not taking responsibility for yourself and above all NAWALT NAWALT DON”T BE A DOUCHE BAG CAUSE YOU”RE ACTING LIKE ONE NAWALT NAWALT NAWALT.

There’s that rage and frustration of hers expressing itself.  Look at how desperate she is to get you back in your chains pushing at your millstone for her benefit.  Isn’t it satisfying to see?  It feels good to walk away from all that, doesn’t it?

Oh, and “NAWALT”?  Please.  No such thing.  Can’t be proven.  Ever.  The best a woman can ever do is prove she isn’t an AWALT… yet.  Why take the risk?

[PonderosaParticipant 1]

I’m new here, although I’ve been a MGTOW without knowing it for many years. You’ve all found the secret to happiness, and women will hate you for it. After all, there can be no true happiness without the little cupcakes, can there? Thoreau said “Most men lead lives of quiet desperation.” You have opted out of misery! So keep on, fellows, and stay strong!!

[DeepInThoughtParticipant 2710]

Becoming a MGTOW means none of this tripe below matters anymore.

http://www.smh.com.au/brand-discover/scroll/brink/4/handsome_men/

[experiencedParticipant]

Welcome Mitzreal. You found the right place.  The guy(s who run it are deadset on keeping it that way!!   Regarding your,  “Do any of you have any tips on getting past….? How do you get past….?”   IMO it’s a really slow uphill slope, that decreases in steepness noticably over time.  Anytime you look back, downhill becomes horizontal and when you turn around to face reality, it’s twice as steep. If ever even thinking back, use the correct data. If the ex had shown her true structural c~~~iness, remember: THAT is what you are departing from and THAT is what they are all like underneath. That’s their sad truth. You, on the other hand, are gone.   It’s as if you are going to permanently eat correctly, then doughnut avoidance is not the way to go. Focus on all the delicious protein you can cook instead.   Listen to the comedians who address marriage etc.  Ignore men who try to subtly drag you down. They’re already down, that’s why they drag as opposed to push. Look ahead to the positive, keep your sense of humor, you are not alone. You’ll get more support from the men here who give a damn about you and know EXACTLY what you’re going through, than from the countless asses.

 

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

[Sky-OParticipant 18949]

It’s like, broken down into it’s most basic parts: MGTOW is a combination of –

Knowledge, Insight, Perspective, Truth, Validation & Application

The knowledge that everything as a man we were told growing up about relationships and society was wrong (and even toxic)

The insight & perspective from other men that have had similar experiences and life journeys as they relate to vaginas

Truth: The fact that 2 plus 2 equals 4 and the sky is blue is pretty obvious, but gaining the truth about women, relationships and expectations of society and how it relates to a man’s life, his quest for goal directed action, his dreams and aspirations and coming to terms with the fact that adherence to MGTOW principles can enhance and improve the quality of a man’s life rather than make him a sacrificial lamb at the altar of women.

Validation: Seeing what other men have gone through, sharing stories and acquiring the profound understanding that women have a dark side, that they themselves nurture while society and the legal system sanctions and approves of their behavior that if allowed to fully evolve is nothing more than chains around the life force of all men.

Application: Applying MGTOW principles to our daily lives, in various different realms like finances, pursuit of hobbies, dreams, goals and being dedicated and investing in ourselves and holding our lives as having more inherent value than any woman that attempts to subjugate our needs and desires to hers strictly because she has a hole between her legs.

[Cipher HighwindParticipant 1144]

Societies are set up in order to extract wealth from men and siphon it women and the priestly and brutalising castes.  In the past, the latter were comprised of clergy, nobility, and knights.  Now, it is academicians, media, and regime apparatchiki.  The methods of control have become much less overt, relying more upon psychology.

Remember that they had 18+ years to program you; deprogramming will not be pleasant, but the rewards are well worth it.

[Author]

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