Greetings MEN!
In some ways, I’ve been a MGTOW since I was a kid. While the other boys played sports, I enjoyed reading encyclopedias and learning about new things. Wanted to be a pro golfer in my early teens. This was back during the Jack Nicklaus days, long before Tiger made golf “cool”. Took a lot of s~~~ for that.
I’ve lived in a blue state the vast majority of my life. It was more purple when I was a kid. I was born during the LBJ administration, just when 2nd wave feminism was taking off. I spent a lot of alone time growing up as I grew up in a highly dysfunctional family. My parents gave me s~~~ for spending a lot of time locked in my room. I kind of knew instinctively back then they were sick folks and I barricaded myself from them as much as possible. Was raised Catholic then “got saved” when I was 16.
Never been married, no kids. Had 3 LTRs in my life. The first one was about 2 years long. Met her at a Christian singles group. I was just out of college and working for a major tech company as a programmer. I knew 2 weeks into it that it wasn’t right. Girl was pretty, but not much upstairs. College dropout working as an interior decorator for a department store. Had the emotional maturity of a 6 year old. Tried to break up with her several times, always felt sorry when she turned the waterworks on and took her back. This happened about 6-8 times. Finally dumped her for good. Within a couple of weeks she started dating a guy who several of my friends said “was just like me”. Realized at that point she was looking for a “type”. Dodged a major bullet.
Fast forward to late 90s, I was in my early 30s. Working in the IT department for a book publisher. Met a coworker who in retrospect had Asperger’s. Wanted to be an actress. Some drama prof at a community college told her she had talent, but she never pursued it seriously. Would spend the weekends with me. Tried to “convert her” because the “Christian” counselor I was seeing at the time shamed me into it. She would have none of it and left. Closest thing to a unicorn I’ve found. Found out from a mutual fried she’s now a single mom in a Southeastern state with a teenage daughter.
The last one I was with was a real piece of work. Met her at an Asperger’s support group. We were “just friends” for about 2 years, we would meet on Sunday afternoons for coffee with a mutual friend for “Bible Study”. Said she was a ordained minister, but also had serious issues with her husband at the time. Didn’t know about monkey branching at the time, but that’s exactly what she was doing. Eventually we hooked up and moved in with me. Talked me into starting my own business as a IT/CAD consulant for architects. Lived with me for 6 months. Wound up spending most of IRA savings and taking temp jobs to help make ends meet. All she did was work on her stupid book which turned out to be a self-published advertisment for a “sponsor”.
Went for pre-marital counseling with her. Found out the guy she just left me for was hubby number FOUR. Also found out she had an estranged daughter in Texas who wanted nothing to do with her. It was at that point I kicked her. Found out later that it wasn’t Asperger’s she had–it was borderline/narcissistc disorder. Another bullet dodged.
But my defining MGTOW moment happened in June 2015. Was living back with my folks at the time. Was trying to recover financially from my failed business/relations~~~ when my dad became seriously ill. All of a sudden my mom expected me to be her hero. She was raised to rely solely on men. The psychologist I was seeing at the time helped me to realize that she, too, was a borderline/narcissist and that I had been the victim of emotional incest. She is an ordained member of the Sisters of Perpetual Victimhood and after about 4 years of this crap, I blew up at her and told her I never wanted to see her again. Shortly after I moved out. Haven’t talked to my family since.
Finally have come to the conclusion that I’m a lifetime bachelor. Deep down I always knew freedom was more valuable than pussy, although growing up in the 70s-80s was rough, with all those movies like Meatb~~~~ and Porky’s, brainwashing me for a long while into chasing girls. I still have faith in God, but I can’t do the church thing anymore, especially the part about “laying down your life for others”. Finally realized that gynocentricism is just as bad in there as everywhere else. Decided to join a lodge instead. I feel much more a part of that community than I ever did at church. People are just more real there.
I just turned 50 last year. In the bible, the 50th year is the “Year of Jubilee”, when all debts are cancelled and slaves are set free. I chose my handle and my avatar as I was trained my entire life to be a cuck–by my parents, by teachers, and by the church. I feel like I’m finally making the transformation from Clark Kent into Superman. Which is why I joined. I need to hear from like minded men on the same path. Looking forward to learning & contributing.
Anyways, that’s me. Thanks for listening.
–C.N.M.
Quote from a former boss: "Don't get married...the fucking you get ain't worth the fucking you get."
The Manipulated Man 2 years, 9 months ago.
