My wife has passed…

[GeraldParticipant 3635]

KM if this is better placed in the Marriage forum, please move it there.

Many of you here know I was separated from my wife. We did spend two days before Christmas together and it was a very weird vibe and situation. During that visit I received concrete evidence of AWALT and that I was being lied to. I left on Christmas Day in a not so good way, unable to go on and handle this any more. Later that day she messaged me saying to proceed with the divorce.

This morning, shortly after arriving at work, I received the news that she died suddenly sometime overnight.

Aside from being floored, and the current relationship situation, I do still deeply care for this woman, and now somehow, I have to put this all together and attend to it and find some peace. I am now four hundred miles from home, sleeping in the basement of a house she shared with another man, while still married to me, typing this as I try to think of all of the things I have to do to lay her to rest.

Men, I am hurting badly, and know MGTOW is the right way, but the pain a man feels, losing their love, telling their child it happened, facing her family who treats you as their own…

There is no doubt men are the ones who feel more, love harder and are hurt more by women who are AWALT. I have no idea how to sleep or get through the next few days, and the guilt at leaving it so badly is tearing me up.

Thank you all for reading and being here for me over these past eighteen months.

No longer can we walk away, we must run. Remove the motive power.

[CarnageParticipant 22113]

Again again… stop beating yourself, SHE WAS NOT YOUR WIFE.

She is dead, overdose? Alcoholic complication?

Who knows…

Sorry but I’m not sorry, I’m p~~~ed off AT YOU.

Bury that WOMAN, WHO WAS ANOTHER MEN WOMAN, AND GET DONE WITH IT.

you don’t know how to cope? RAGE, RAGE ALL YOU CAN. But not to yourself.

“I can’t believe it ended like this”… what ended? You had nothing, she was the mother of your child NOTHING MORE.

There was no relationship, she wasn’t your partner, nor your friend.

Do you think she cares? SHE IS F~~~ING DEAD, DEAD, SHE DOESNT CARE ABOUT ANYTHING.

This is happening to you is just your brain, used to neurotransmitters, trying to draw it selft into the sweet drug of it all, becouse it feels bad, but your brain doesn’t know, all he knows is he is getting a high dose of his favorite drug, stop it, learn to control it.

YOUR FEELINGS ARE NOT REAL, JUST A BUNCH OF CHEMICALS REACTIONS, STOP IT.

To those following me, be careful, I just farted. Men those beans are killers.

[BigDParticipant 3024]

No offense, I say Chad should bury her. She deserves no honor from you. Take back what you earned and move on. I’m sorry to say this as well, but you were lucky. What you miss is who you thought she was, not who she was. Unless she came to Jesus real quick and in a hurry we all know where she is now.

In fact don’t let Chad get anything in the house that is his. Apparently it isn’t his. Your wife told you it was one of her relative’s stuff. So now it’s yours to do with what you wish.

Chad is a punk ass and needs to be punked. F~~~ that guy. He wants to eat another man’s rhubarb he needs to eat the leaves as well. If he tries to come in, shoot him for trying to break and enter.

Don't stick your dick into anyone you aren't willing to put up with for eighteen years and nine months.

[Manspread MansplainerParticipant 4222]

This is a rough time of year for many people. Bad memories can be impossible to escape, from every incessant “Fa, La, La, La, La” and “Jingle Bells”.

I believe the radio (all media) is designed to make people depressed. All that blue pill crap 24/7. The same s~~~ty pop music across the globe isn’t by accident.

This will be with you for a long time, I’m gonna be honest with you there, but it’s for as long as you allow it. Your life would’ve been worse with her in it my friend. It sounds like it was about to get bad. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise. This suffering is for a greater purpose, one that will protect you in the long run.

I can sit here all day and say AWALT, NFGs, Red Pill etc. etc. but I know it will still weigh on your shoulders.

Give away or sell off what you can. Attend the funeral – The past must be buried. It’s okay to get emotional. You are concerned for your children’s well being which means they need you as support.

I hope you are able to move on. It will be slow, then fast, then a step back, then forward, then slow, and on and on.

Free your life. Bury the past. Love your children. There’s nothing else worth worrying about.

If women ran the world = It would become the shithole you are seeing.

[Manspread MansplainerParticipant 4222]

BigD wrote:

Chad is a punk ass and needs to be punked. F~~~ that guy. He wants to eat another man’s rhubarb he needs to eat the leaves as well. If he tries to come in, shoot him for trying to break and enter.

BigD is right. I didn’t even want to mention Chad because he is such a low life puke.

If women ran the world = It would become the shithole you are seeing.

[NerdTunnelerParticipant]

Sorry for your loss brother…But you have to know that your wife decided to be with another man. The wife you knew was long gone…The emotions may be in turmoil right now but grieve and let go…

This is the hardest time for you with the holidays and the death and the reconnecting. Logic will fight with emotions and some will guilt you. Remember you are your own man. You have faults in marriage as did she and you have to respect HER CHOICE not to have a life with you…

I extend my condolences brother. Stay strong and keep posting or the emotional turmoil is going to swallow you and take you back into the plantation…Good luck brother…We are here for you…

I stand with feet apart and let my balls hang free...Manginas dont have balls...See how they stand and sit at the whim of their masters...

[Anonymous 7]

My first instinct was to serve up condolences to you and your daughter ( or was it a son?)

Then I recalled the post you made about your holiday experience. About her sneaking off to be with Chad, the adult toys in the bedroom that you paid for. Leaving in the wee hours of Xmas morning b/c your bitch disrespected you to the nth degree.

Sorry mate but f~~~ that dead c~~~. That bitch was set to take everything from you and leave you a busted, broken mess.

Don’t you dare feel sad. You got off easy. Don’t believe me? Go spend some time in the Intro section.
Pay attention in particular to May 7 2020 and Uly ( there are others but my memory fails me).

Your dead bitch would have killed you if she thought she could get away with it.

[uchibenkeiParticipant 7965]

Let her parents or bf handle the funeral arrangements or cremate her.

I bathe in the tears of single moms.

[Anonymous 6]

I’m going to go easy on you here because you sound like you’re in a very bad pace emotionally and that sucks. Now for what I think about your external situation. She ran off to be with another man? She clearly didn’t value you. She craped all over you and kicked your legs out from under you. Get ahold of yourself man. Take the time that you need to get better, but remember one thing, you were betrayed by someone who was a monster. A horrible monster.

[Anonymous 54]

Sorry for what your going through.
Mixed emotions can be the hardest to deal with.

[MACHOParticipant]

No matter what you decide to do, take it one step at a time, one day at a time or even one hour at a time!

Gerald wrote:

I have no idea how to sleep or get through the next few days, and the guilt at leaving it so badly is tearing me up.

You must own a better Crystal ball than I

[SandalsParticipant 4254]

Damn, this is some tough love. And I thought I was tough on here.

Death is always a whirlwind of emotions. You’ll go through the usual stages. Don’t fight it.

I fear I may one day be in your position, but I hope I am wrong. I want my wife to get better but I don’t know if that can happen before she does something horrible to herself. I am doing everything I can to prevent her from hurting herself, but it is destroying my life, and that just makes her feel more guilty, which makes the cycle worse. Maybe you can relate to that.

My wife is not a cheater but she is extremely depressed and has been very suicidal in the past. It seems some people are just intent on destroying anything they are a part of, including themselves. If you’re with them, they destroy you. Staying with her is destroying me, and her leaving, will be very painful for her, although she knows it is necessary, and we are planning on separating.

As I said, you’ll go through the usual emotional cycle, but in the end, there was nothing you could do. I hope for the sake of my children, I am not in your shoes one day.

Just remember in the end, that you cannot save people. It is up to each to account for themselves.

BigD wrote:

Unless she came to Jesus real quick and in a hurry we all know where she is now.

BigD, despite your beliefs, that is not an appropriate comment at this time.

[Branched offParticipant 10990]

Gerald,
I am very sorry to hear of your loss. Every bereavement is different but I have in the past lost a young wife myself (my second wife) who was mother of one of my children, so while I cannot feel your pain, I know the rough territory.

There are going to be feelings of guilt, especially about every minor detail of your last quarrels, what if I had just… Its easy to say but try to just let this wash over you. With time it will bet getter. With distance (in time) you will begin to see the relationship in the round. You will begin to see that there were other quarrels that were really no different and they had resolutions of some sort or other. This is a bit of a maths analogy from a history/ literary man, so I hope it works but at the moment your nose is pressed up to delta y/ delta x of the curve and you cannot see what the whole function was, stand back and with time things will integrate.

Every serious relationship in life ends with the death of one party and death is seldom ever easy and ideal.

As to leaving chad to make the funeral arrangements -I would not recommend this. Now probably is the time to play the white knight. You are not doing this for her any more, she is gone. You are doing this for your child and for you. You do not want any reason to feel any guilt in future or to feel your child felt you were unnecessarily bitter.

If you can talk to chad about things, you do not want to end up fighting over her in death. She does not deserve that sort of loyalty and you do not deserve to later feel you made a fool of yourself trying to re-claim her corpse. I have never met you but I would tentatively hazard to say that if chad wants to do it let him and support him where needed, if not do it yourself. This is an opportunity for healing things with the other side of your child’s family. You will however know best.

Its a hard time. There will be another dawn. You will actually be a lot freer in the end. You won’t want to feel grateful for that but it will be there for you.

Finally, death sometimes uncovers secrets you are both interested to know which it might have been easier had you not known. They can burn your mind a bit because the person is gone to ask them to explain. If any of these do come to light, try to take the long view and integrate them into the whole picture of the person that was always there anyway.

I am sorry, good luck. You will get through ok, because everyone does in the end.

A woman is like fire -fun to play with, can warm you through and cook your food, needs constant feeding, can burn you and consume all you own

[AussieParticipant 2509]

The fact that you are grieving now shows that you are still human despite what happened.

" I feel threatened "

[743 roadmasterParticipant]

Understand, it is like the divorce without the courts ripping your soul out. It in reality is going to be the same emotional recovery. Here you might have an easy out by helping the child deal with it, in which will help you at the same time.

mgtow is its own worst enemy- https://www.campusreform.org/

[CarnageParticipant 22113]

Aussie wrote:

The fact that you are grieving now shows that you are still human despite what happened.

That’s true also… I guess I got my wish, not human anymore.

To those following me, be careful, I just farted. Men those beans are killers.

[DarkRyuParticipant 2354]

Things may be hard right now, but I think that looking back, you’ll realize that things turned out better in the long run (situation-wise…I know you’d never wish death upon your wife). Think of it this way. You’re now a widower. You never divorced. Your family knows that you separated, but they (especially the children) will always harbor the hope that you might have, at one point, been able to put your marriage back together. You didn’t have to deal with a horrible divorce, she didn’t turn your kids against you. Sure, you had a rough marriage. But you stuck with things until the end. And that’s what people will think of you. Yes, the fact that she’s passed is horrible. But you’ll get past that. And once you do, I think things will be better for you in the end.

[ShineParticipant 1696]

You will face a tough time until the funeral, then you can get on with GYOW.

Everyday be thankful for what you have, and remember the truths of the world, we can’t change other people only ourselves. I’m sure you put your heart and soul into your relationship, and now you are free. Let the grief consume you until it passes. We got your back.

"Society is to blame" Denton

[Anonymous 43]

Wow, Gerald. I do not have words. Happy you missed out on the divorce process, sad your marriage came apart, closure for a time spent with her. I know you have been hurting for a while, and it’s gonna hurt for a while more yet. Lean on your MGTOW brothers, we don’t mind. I think we are all here to help other men get through the s~~~ vortex.

You may want to talk to Greg Honda. He is a widower in the UK. If you want, I can invite you to Zoom and arrange some sort of conversation in a break out room. I think he has been a widower for 5 years now. I met him in person last year in Florida, very good guy. I’m sure he would be honored to speak with you.

I sent you my number. I’m available for you amigo, I sit in my apartment and fill out job apps all day. You won’t bother me at a job.

If I may offer some advice, Men are supposed to comfort children in this case. I’m not sure what kind of relationship you have with your daughter. Make sure she is rolling down the track straight, too. She is hurting i’m sure.

Gerald, lean on us MGTOW brothers. You came here looking for other like minded men with similar experiences. Put us to work.

[Anonymous 42]

Gerald wrote:

I have no idea how to sleep or get through the next few days, and the guilt at leaving it so badly is tearing me up.

Gerald, your relationship with your wife was tumultuous and full of yucky things she polluted the marriage with, her bad, not yours! Drop the guilt, you went more than the first mile with her only to be told go another.

I am sorry for your losses and the pain you’re feeling, just put yourself mentally in the future when all this is behind you with smooth sailing again. Be decent, bury your wife, and of course move on.

If there was a magic pill I’d say take it, but there’s not. Just think about the morrow and how peace and stability will return to you. Until then I am truly sorry for the hell you’re going through and wish I could offer you some comfort, but I know I cant.

In closing I’ll say a prayer for you.

[Author]

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