My Way Part Deux

[Wildwalker57Participant 107]

About a month ago, I wrote my initial introduction where my (ltr) girlfriend when I was 20/21 years old cheated on me with my best friend at the time (red pill moment). Both ended up in the hospital, not that I put them there, but due to their own negligence. Here is the link to my first Intro:

My Way

Over the next year after this event, I had several things happen which helped further define my relationships with women and these events were like a hammer on the nail I already had seated in my consciousness from my prior relationship debacle. This is a long one, but grab a cup of coffee and enjoy my crazy life and hard lessons learned.

When all this went down, I was 21/22 and working part-time, kind of drifting and trying to find and define myself. I started asking around work if anyone knew of someone who needed a roommate or renter as I needed a place to live. A lady at work, who was in her mid-30s, needed a renter, so I went over to her house, met her husband, 2 young kids, and everything seemed cool. This was a perfect slice of suburbia Americana. I move in and everything was cool the first couple months. The lady’s husband was a little Italian man, imagine Danny Devito but take his fat and put it in his arms as muscle. The guy was a construction worker and would go out of town every other weekend for work. He was a good man, good provider, and he helped me with my car at the time, which was always breaking on me. So a month or two in, I was fitting right into the family dynamic, helping out around the house, and even eating dinner with the family.

Well, I started noticing when the husband went out of town every other weekend, the wife would hit the bottle hard all day and night when he was away. At first, she hid this from me, but after a while, she just started drinking right in front of me. She usually hid it from the kids though, who were real young. Anyway, so one night when husband was away, I wake up to use the bathroom, and I see the living room light is still on at three in the morning. I walk into the living room, and I find the wife passed out on the couch with a glass pipe sitting on the coffee table in front of her. I don’t know exactly what she was smoking, but I was shocked to see this and kept my mouth shut.

A couple months in, when husband is away at work for the weekend, it finally happens. I go to bed one night, and I can’t sleep. I’m just lying there thinking of my life, etc. Well, my door opens, and in walks the wife, completely naked, and she walked over to my bed and starts saying my name. By the way she was speaking, I could tell she was loaded up. She was not bad looking, but I knew this wouldn’t lead to good things. Then, she tries to pull the covers back and crawl into bed with me. I was lying there, pretending to be asleep, and just groaning and rolling over, that kind of thing. Her husband was a good guy, like I said, and had helped me with my broken car on several occasions. Bottom line, I didn’t feel right returning his generosity by banging his wife.

She finally gives up trying to crawl into bed, and she picks up my shirt off the floor, puts it on, and then walks out of the room. Initially, I’m thinking to myself that I dodged a bullet here, but not so fast. The next day, she starts treating me different, acting real snotty with me, finding reasons to blame me for stuff, and all those you’re-part-of-the-family words are history. A few days later, she walks up to me with an accusing expression and holding my shirt in hand, and she asks if it was mine and tells me that she found it in her room on the floor.

I’ve learned that some women can be constant connivers and schemers. It’s always a game of chess with subtle moves for the queen. I could see in an instant that this was going to lead to an accusation of me sneaking around in her room. Batter up! I looked her dead in the eye and simply told her- No, not my shirt, must be your husbands. She gave me a look like she didn’t believe me, and even when she tried to give me the shirt, I refused it. Like OJ- Look, it doesn’t even fit me. Well, of course, this whole incident ended up screwing up my living arrangement. The husband tells me a week later that they don’t want a renter anymore, but they found a new place for me to live.

Two blocks away lived a woman they knew, who was divorced and had two young boys, and she needed a renter to make ends meet. So I went over there and checked it out. The lady used to be a college cheerleader, was in her early 30s, and ran and kept herself in good shape. She was pretty cool too, so I decided to move in there and was happy to get out of that house.

As to the crackhead wife and her husband, around six months later, I heard that he found out she had been screwing around with one of their neighbors, and she got pregnant. Hard-working Danny Devito with muscles stayed with his wife and fathered the kid as if it was his own (I’m not sure if it was or not?). I never told the husband about his wife trying to hop into the sack with me. I figured, if she was doing that with me, I’m not special, and it would come around and bite her again some day.

So, to the former college cheerleader’s house I go, and I actually stayed there for almost a year. I actually liked living there, so I tried to keep everything on the level with her. When my friends would come over and see the cheerleader, they’d tell me I was crazy for not banging her. The thing was, her boys didn’t have any good male influences in their life, none. Divorced husband lived out of state and would take the boys once a year for a month but wouldn’t call any other time but the holidays. Cheerleader, meanwhile, was a barfly whore when I moved in. She always had a merry-go-round of dicks parading through the house on the weekend. I never saw a single face twice.

Anyway, these two young boys didn’t have any men in their lives which were not just taking mom’s candy and walking out the door after a cup of coffee in the morning, but they looked up to me. These boys were so hard-up for male influence in their life, when I spoke, said anything, anything at all, it was instant law around the house. There were not any arguments, questions, begging, complaining, nothing, and they were happy and appreciated the influence of a steady male hand. I naturally developed a sense of responsibility to not just be the next dick banging their mom until she gets tired of me and blows me out. These were not even my boys, but they were good boys. I decided if I could be a good influence on them, I would. Here I was 21/22 years old, full of testosterone, lost myself in so many ways, but I still tried to do right by those boys.

Everything would have been cool and I probably could have lived there for years, but cheerleader couldn’t hack it. A few months after I moved in, she stopped having the bar c~~~-train roll on through her station on the weekends. Everything was cool though for a long time, for several months, and then it all came undone. I came home late one night pretty blasted from partying with my friends. She was still up, which wasn’t uncommon. So, I’m sitting on the couch and having a couple final drinks for the night with her. Again, situation normal. We always talked like we were good friends, tell one another of our partying adventures, and that is right where I wanted to keep it. I didn’t realize yet that you cannot be close friends with a woman and treat them like your male friends. Anyway, I pass out on the couch as we are talking, and I wake up to find her on top of me and kissing me. I pushed her off me, and I told her I’m not interested.

She looked shocked, staring with that deer-in-the-headlights look. She was pretty and had probably never been turned down before in her entire life. I tried to make it all good though and told her that it was cool, that I was still recovering from my prior relationship, and I wasn’t interested in ANY women, which was the honest truth. Well, wouldn’t you know it, this all screwed up my living arrangement again.

The next week, I was watching TV, and she walks in the door and blows up on me for watching TV. I kid you not. I knew this had nothing to do with the TV, but she was acting like a lunatic just out of the asylum. She had never screamed and yelled at me before- never. She told me I needed to start looking for another place to live. I was like- Over the TV? She said yes and then stormed out of the house.

Well, you don’t need to tell me twice. Don’t call my bluff. I didn’t want any drama in my life. I called a buddy of mine, who took off work, came over with his truck in twenty minutes, and moved me out. I was gone in an hour. When she came home later, my stuff was gone, and my part of rent for the month was on the kitchen table. I ended up reaching out to them six months later after I had moved out of state, and I saw her and the boys several times over the next couple years when I would come and visit.

Cheerleader kept doing the same things, getting with the same bar losers, and ended up getting with a guy who abused her and hit her in front of the boys. She was always a meds taker, but she became really loopy and upped her prescription use because of anonymous ‘pain’ she was having. When she admitted to me that her boyfriend was beating her, I told her, for her boys, she needed to leave him. I told her if she loved her boys, like she said she did, she’d leave him, period. It wasn’t acceptable she stay with that man under any circumstance. She, of course, was angry that I wasn’t telling her what she wanted to hear, and she refused to take my calls thereafter, moved out, and I lost contact with them. Twelve-plus years later, her youngest son finds me online. He calls and tells me both he and the older brother started doing lots of drugs in their teens, their mom’s prescription drugs started it all, they spent time in jail, and the oldest boy ultimately ended up going 51/50 and was put into a metal hospital. When I got off the phone with him, I cried my eyes out.

Now, let’s rewind back to the day I moved out cheerleader’s house. So, my buddy picks me up in his truck, tells me that he has a place for me to live. When he initially told me he had a place for me over the phone, I assumed it was living with him. Not so fast. So we are driving on the way to god-knows-where, and I ask, where will I be living? He says, you’ll be staying with my girlfriend. I was like, What?! I knew his girlfriend for a couple years, and she was hot, I mean super hot. She was my age, in college, and a hardcore party girl. With all these problems with women in my life over the last year, I told him- Dude, I honestly don’t think this is such a good idea. When I say this, he looks me in the eye and says- I don’t trust a lot of people, but I trust you, man.

When you have integrity, it is just as simple as that.

A few minutes later, we are moving my bed into this condo, and we walk into the back bedroom. As we walk through the door, I see another bed on the floor, and I ask- Whose bed is that? He says- That’s my girlfriend’s bed. I dropped my end of the bed and just about crapped my pants. I wouldn’t just be sharing a condo with his beautiful girlfriend, I would literally be within high-five distance of her when I got up in the morning. To top all this off, there were two other college-age chicks living in the same condo, and all three were party girls. I’ll tell you what, I’m the oldest of two and I have a younger sister, but I didn’t know the way women really operated until I moved into this condo. I learned everything I needed to know about women in a few short months. To say it was an eye-opening, life-altering experience would be an understatement.

This particular condo was situated right next to the pool area, and the hot rub was right outside the front door about fifteen feet away. So, these hot 20-something-year-old chicks and their friends were constantly in the hot tub and walking around in bikinis. I know all this sounds like harem heaven, but I learned that harem heaven is really a place called hell. The petty, drama, soap opera, back-stabbing, BS never stopped, never ever stopped. There was constant partying, constant partying equals constant drinking, and constantly drinking meant constant drama. All of that equaled me right in the middle of it all, being the male lion of the group, and setting these bickering women straight or stepping up to fight other male lions there trying to mess with my pride. I didn’t ask for the damn job, but if someone didn’t step into the role, insanity and absolute chaos prevailed from one day to the next.

I could write a whole book on the few months I lived there, but suffice it to say, I became like Wyatt Earp up in there, a regulator. I also became very popular among all my male friends, who were suddenly finding all kinds of exciting reasons to come over and hang out at my place all the time. There were parties almost every night of the week there, and then the after-parties were at clubs until the wee hours of the morn. It was a dizzying, constant-hangover time in my life where one day blurred into the next. In all truth, I needed to have friends over because these chicks were absolutely crazy and had guys there all the time competing to get in their pants and some guys don’t take No well.

Anyway, back to my friend’s girlfriend, I’m not going to lie, she was the hottest one of the group, and to this day, I have never personally known anyone hotter than she was then. She was like a southern belle, just enchanting. All three of us would hang out all the time, until my buddy lost his job and got a night job to replace it. Yes, a night job. You know what’s going to happen next, right?

The parties didn’t stop just because of my buddy’s night job, so he asks me to lookout for his girl while he’s at work. So, while I’m looking out for his girl, we are naturally spending a lot of one-on-one time together. This is all fine at first. We were like pals and always hanging out together. She was cool, fun, and we ran that condo and kept the peace from day-to-day. Her boyfriend was kind of a laid back guy, but I grew up in a house where violence was present. I’m no Rocky, but I had been in my fair number of scraps and would often step up to the challenge with my friends at my back to chase off other lions. Usually the threat of fists is enough to chase people off as most naturally back down from confrontation and the possibility of physical harm. It gets more interesting though when you run into someone else who has got the fire to rumble. That is when you find out who has the bigger dog inside, more friends at their back, or a firearm.

My buddy’s girl always had my back whenever anything went down inside that condo, where the other two chicks in the house were sometimes plotting against me with their boy-toy flunkies to challenge the throne. They all got regulated though. My friend’s girl always sold her friends out and warned me of those trying to humiliate or challenge my authority. It was all microcosm hypergamy. I learned a lot about women in these situations. If they are not the queen bee, they will want to usurp the queen or get a new king to replace the one who isn’t making them the queen. It is always contest and competition between them, but all under an artificial veneer of everyone ‘loves’ everyone else. Hugs always all around, but you have to wear armor on your back for all the daggers coming in when you turn around. What I learned in that petri dish of a condo is women want to be close to the seat of power and influence to manipulate it, but they want their hands clean of any dirty work it takes to hold those positions of power to avoid shame and ridicule. They cannot handle being publicly shamed in the eyes of the group, so cannot do the hard things like settle sticky matters. They need a man to blame to do the dirty work instead, even though it is their freaken problem that they often created. That is my graduate thesis on condo-harem politics 101 for you in a nutshell, gents. Now back to your regular-scheduled programming. 🙂

So all this harem drama comes crashing down one night. We were throwing a party, per the norm. All day drinking, hanging out at the pool and hot tub, and then all night long the same stuff. Even though it was his night off, my buddy gets called into work, so he can’t be there. He asks me, per the usual, keep an eye on his girlfriend. No problem. Well, after a long day of partying, me, his girlfriend, and six other people are hanging out in our room, just laughing, drinking, and having a good time. Nothing unusual here. As I’m pretty sauced from having swam in the hot sun, drank all day, and it is eleven o’clock at night, I’m at that stage of sloppy drunk where you can’t walk a straight line if your life depended on it.

Around me, I notice our group of eight, becomes a group of six, becomes a group of four, soon becomes just me and the beautiful girlfriend. We are both sitting on the floor between our two beds, laughing, and drunk as skunks. Boyfriend isn’t set to be home for another couple hours. I look up, and I see the door is closed to the room. I ask her if she wants anything more to drink as I was going to get a refill, and she says yes. I stand up on unsteady legs, almost fall over, and she grabs me by the waist and is holding me in place, laughing. I’m laughing too, until I look down. At first, I feel her start to undo my belt, and I look down, and she is looking up at me with a naughty look in her eyes and a smile that says- Let’s do it right now!

I still remember as I stood there, I was drunk as hell, but I still had my wits about me and knew what was going on. Time seemed to stop for me, and I thought of my best friend and my old girlfriend hooking up behind my back. I thought of my buddy dropping everything to move me out of cheerleader’s house on the drop of a dime and his words of trust, and I realized I would be betraying his trust just like my best friend betrayed mine. It doesn’t matter if he stupidly put me right in the line of fire with his girlfriend. I’m still ultimately responsible for my actions, period. At that moment, you are damn right I was conflicted, but in the end, I couldn’t do it. I remember I reached down, grabbed her hands, and I told her- We can’t.

She laughed, like she thought I was joking, but I wasn’t. I remember I just stood there, and I wondered to myself- will I regret this someday? In the end, it all comes down to self-definition, and who you want to be. For me, actions define a man. I didn’t want to be what I hated. I felt betrayed by people who had betrayed my trust for selfish reasons, and I didn’t want to be like them. It was more important for me to define myself in opposition of those things I hate, than to have a few sloppy drunk minutes with the beautiful southern belle. It is just as simple as that.

So we didn’t do anything, and I moved out of there a few weeks later. Unlike the other women, there was no blowup or problem after with his girlfriend, and we never spoke about it. I never told him about it either. In the end, I just needed to go. I had partied enough for a lifetime in those few months. I was ready for a new life. I didn’t just move out, I moved out of state, and I stopped partying and got my life together and never looked back.

In subsequent years, I would visit that state, and I would see my friend and his beautiful girlfriend. They stayed together. Several years later, after I lost contact with them for a time, I just happened to run into him at a store when I was visiting. It was totally random. He was still with her, but he looked like crap. We all went out to dinner that night, and both of them looked absolutely horrible. They were skinny as rails, their teeth were all messed up, and they look gaunt and burned out. This was only five years later. Turns out, they were both smoking meth. It was the last time I saw either one of them.

All the above stories took place in about a year’s time and are lessons about a lot of things in life. All these events with women told me a few things. One, I learned you cannot be really close friends with a woman like you can your male friends. It will always come back to sex. Lesson two- you turn women down, there is almost always some kind of fury and retribution heading your way. They just cannot let sleeping dogs lie. They are too built on how they look, and their looks can get them anything they want in the world. When you turn them down, you expose their powerlessness. Bottom line, their looks can’t get them everything. Some men are not for sale at any price. Some men are not dominated by their dicks. I’m not going to say I didn’t have the urge to bang every one of these women. I’m a heterosexual male. I did. But, I don’t define myself by my lower member or a trophy case of victories I can hang on my mental wall of women conquered. That doesn’t define me as a human being or a man.

I have a buddy who is a Buddhist monk, and while I’m not a Buddhist, I do believe there is something to karma. Things tend to circulate. Even now in my early 40s, I have women circulating back to me from my younger years and trying to hook up with me, but they all wanted to ride dicks, cheat on their partners, have their kids and divorces. They make excuses for themselves now about their behavior back then and say- Well, I was young then. You know what, so was I, and I never betrayed any of my partners or friend’s trust. I can say that because I’ve earned it through my hard choices, not because I’m an arrogant or self-righteous prick. It’s the truth, and I’m not an enemy or afraid of the truth. I’m not perfect, but I’ve constructed my life through the making of hard choices in pressure-cooker moments. I’ve defined my life through actions, not through words. Even to this day, in the taking of chances in the pursuit of my passion, I still live a life of hard action in the face of brutal adversity. I encourage all men to live lives of meaning and value, walk the hard roads, climb those difficult mountains, and reach to achieve your highest potential. Take ownership of your existence and burn with purpose and passion. Life isn’t over till the casket drops, sleep then.

"It's a trap!" Admiral Ackbar.

[bladeParticipant]

Welcome back bro .

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[GoodKid44Participant 1524]

Wow, amazingly written

[bstoffParticipant 4863]

Hell of a story, bro. Full of lessons.

[Old BuckParticipant 3596]

Great insight to the female mind, as you have lived inside the hive.

Thanks for sharing your experience. I hope many lurkers can find your story and learn from it.

Don't chase tail. Turn yours around, walk away, and live free!

[CarnageParticipant 22113]

Well welcome, i had the same line of thinking and code of honor.

Then I became carnage, still is good to know they where some men of honor out there yet.

To those following me, be careful, I just farted. Men those beans are killers.

[Anonymous 5]

Terrific read.
The common thread to all three women was that you weren’t chasing them.

I’ve an idea about your frame of mind after what happened to you initially and I was in the same mode for about 12 months or so after breaking up with a woman who I really loved. I was still hooked on her even though I had no intention of ever being with her ever again.
If you’d have been chasing anyone of the three they would have not only had no interest but they’d have enjoyed rejecting you as well.

It’s only when you have no interest at all in a particular woman that you can see what they’re really up to.

[ShineParticipant 1696]

So many red pills. Some tough lessons in there, I felt your pain with the boys of the cheerleader. And your mate who was with the perfect 10 and they both turned to ice. Thanks for posting.

"Society is to blame" Denton

[survivorParticipant 610]

Good night you have been through the ringer. You have enough wisdom here for all of us. Thanks so much for sharing.

"Shot through the heart, and you're to blame, You give love a bad name, I play my part and you play your game, You give love a bad name."--Bon Jovi

[HermitParticipant]

Wow, what stories. Don’t know that I could have turned down any of those whores while in my early 20’s. As a matter of fact, at that age, I’d have f~~~ed every one of them, unable to resist the drunken, doped up whores. Not proud of that fact. It’s just the truth.

The evil in women’s hearts leaves them no moral bounds as to inhibit them from descending to the lowest levels of darkness to acquire their self entitled desires.

[Anonymous 3]

Actually read your post with a cup of Starbucks dark.
Great story.
Thank you & welcome

[Gravel PitParticipant]

Wildwalker57 wrote:

Some men are not for sale at any price.

Wildwalker57 wrote:

when I spoke, said anything, anything at all, it was instant law around the house.

Wildwalker57 wrote:

artificial veneer of everyone ‘loves’ everyone else. Hugs always all around, but you have to wear armor on your back for all the daggers coming in

I enjoyed reading, thanks. You have great honor. Your writing reminding me of very similar party times I’ve had.

Great party days that were full of drama and lust.

[Secret Agent MGTOWParticipant 22510]

Your buddy and his belle girlfriend got hooked an crystal meth by your description. Sad, that really f~~~s people up hard.

Women want everything, but want responsibility and accountability for nothing.

[ReclusParticipant 96]

Wildwalker57 – thanks for taking the time to share your experiences here. It was very moving.

[Jack HarperParticipant 2863]

What an amazing story. So much insight.

You are a man of integrity. It’s interesting isn’t it. I’ve realized you know there aren’t really any prizes or fanfare in life for men of integrity. It’s honestly not a quality women care about really. But as men we do. Especially as we get older. You really respect a man of honor and integrity.

[Wildwalker57Participant 107]

Anonymous wrote:

The common thread to all three women was that you weren’t chasing them.

Trail428
This is actually very good insight and something I hadn’t thought of, but it’s true. I wasn’t interested in any relationships at the time because I was still recovering from my prior relationship. I am also not the kind of guy who flirts or teases with women if I am not pursuing them. I tend to treat them straight up, like guys, unless I’m interested. So they were all being treated like friends essentially. Spot on.

Hermit wrote:

As a matter of fact, at that age, I’d have f~~~ed every one of them, unable to resist the drunken, doped up whores. Not proud of that fact. It’s just the truth.

Hermit
Of all of them, the really hard one to pass up was my buddy’s gf. I was half awake when the naked wife walked in on me, so it kind of freaked me out really, and the cheerleader I always had her boys in the front of my mind. I saw the way cheerleader handled men- they were in today out tomorrow, quite literally. I didn’t want to do that. I wanted to stay friends and show the boys that not every man was there for mom’s candy. She was good looking though. My buddy’s gf was just beautiful on another level, and she was cool on top of it. That one I wrestled with. Without question, I feel I did the right thing now. Back then, I was just forming who I wanted to be as a man. I was reading all kinds of books on men I admired and taking the good things and leaving the stuff that didn’t interest me. I knew I wanted to be someone that didn’t leave a trail of wreckage behind me. I saw so many people talking a big game, but when push came to shove, they’d fold and out would come the excuses. I always hated that. Not that I’m perfect, but the sting of having your trust betrayed is so belittling and makes you feel so small, I just didn’t want to do that to someone else, even if I had to carry what ifs with me. I get what you’re saying though.

Jack Harper wrote:

I’ve realized you know there aren’t really any prizes or fanfare in life for men of integrity. It’s honestly not a quality women care about really. But as men we do. Especially as we get older.

Jack Harper
The real prize is just knowing within yourself you’ve done right by the people who have done right by you. But, yes, there is certainly no prize and women don’t give a hoot about it, except when they can take advantage of it and it benefits them in some way.

When I used to work in Corp America, I got along really well with older women, like a lot older. They’d always tell me I was a real gentleman, integrity, all that. One day one of the ladies said- I wish my daughter was single, I would introduce you to her. One of the other ladies then asked- Does she have kids? The older lady said- Yes. The other lady goes- She won’t want him then. He’s never had kids. She won’t want to break him in.

There was a brief argument about this among all the women around me, and in the end, they all agreed. It didn’t matter how good of a guy I was, in the end, a woman with children will want a man that is ‘broken in’ and ‘knows what he’s supposed to do’. I remember this shocked me at the time. I remember I asked- Broken in? What am I, a dog that needs training? All the women laughed, but no one disagreed with my analogy.

Now, over the last few years, I have been a hermit, but women from my past have been seeking me out through friends, or even looking me up. They have all gone through their divorces, have their kids, and now are looking for a ‘good guy’. I’m not the one. There was an old NWA song titled something like that, which is very appropriate. HA! I just looked it up. Here it is-

"It's a trap!" Admiral Ackbar.

[Author]

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