My Trip from Blue Pill to Red Pill

[Geeky GrantParticipant 35]

Hello there one and all,

I’ve finally taken the big step into MGTOW after breaking free of one of the most toxic relationships I have ever been in.

But I think before I go into that I best start with how I came about MGTOW… funny enough I found it though a youtuber by the name of Armoured Sceptic, after watching his take on it I felt he was cherry picking easy targets, it wouldn’t be the first time he’s done so. As I always do I went nosing around, I wanted to see what you guys where all about.

At the time I got what the group was about but I never really got it… if that makes sense, I guess I was just a blue pill with his ear against the fence hearing how the other half live. I’ve done so with many other groups, from SJWs, freemen, feminism, flat Earthers and so on, but usually I have a chuckle at them and quickly move on.

Oddly though the MGTOW idea lingered around, I kept watching more and more videos on the topic, I’m not normally that nosey, but here I was wanting to learn more and more.

At the start of this year I ended my relationship with the girl I was dating, it was all on my terms and in the end I was brutal, I had to be as she wasn’t going to accept the nice guy break up. But more on that later….

Out of the many women I dated/known there are 3 that stand out to me, in my eyes they helped me break free of my blue pill white knight ways… and I’ll list and talk about them right now… oh yeah this is going to be a long ass post, there’s a lot of s~~~ to talk about. Feel free to go grab a beer, tea or whatever 🙂

>The Crazy One: I met this girl via Facebook, friend of a friend basically, at the time it was mostly just friendly banter between us. We where both kinda nerdy so we bounced off one another wonderfully.

Then she invited me over hers… and it got weird very fast. I think she had the wrong idea about where we stood, anyways I quickly found out she was a crazy cat lady that smoked pot, was on benefits, had some light mental issues (ADHD I think) and loved mystic stuff like fairies. So yeah the kinda girl I would never want to show to my parents or anyone else to be frank…

But still I was cool with her being a friend so I stuck around for the day, as we chilled and played video games she kept making odd advancements, sometimes flirty sometimes touchy feely. For example she ‘pwned’ me in a game and she grabbed my leg and laughed “I got you!”

I decided at that point I would just get the day over with and distance myself a little, it was clear she going at a far different speed to me. A few days later I sent her a nice long clear message about how I saw her more as a friend than a girlfriend, she was oddly cool about it… until it she wasn’t.

A month or so later I moved on to a new relationship and she flipped her s~~~, she had it in her mind that we where just taking it slow. She caused a massive s~~~ storm, she talked crap behind my back sent me countless messages and at the end of the day I had to block her and hope she didn’t get malleolus.

Luckily she didn’t and from what my friend of a friend told me she found someone else and within a few months got pregnant with his kid… I dodged the biggest bullet of my life X-D

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>The Goals One: I met this girl though a college course we where both sitting, at the time I was trying to join the army. She was all over me from day one, giving me the pet name “Action Man” …For the longest while we where just friends, but near the end of the course things got serious between us.

After college I started to work for my Dad earning money and then spending it on days out with the girl… big waste of money looking back… but things with the army just weren’t playing out. I wished to be a mechanic and at the time they where pushing for infantry, so I was stuck in the system waiting for a opening.

She always had my back on it saying she couldn’t wait to see me in uniform, but then all that “I got your back” started to drain away. She was never mean or harsh about it but she had goals… army wife goals…

One day she invited me out for a drink, I thought it would be just another nice day out for us, but she was there with her sister (the back up) and just dumped me on the spot, saying she would rather be just friends… I guess I was fine about it at the time but that all changed when a week later she started dating a old friend of hers that was a infantry man. At that time I knew why she started to support me less and less, she was seeing him behind my back, edging her bets.

I confronted her and she got all upset, she told me she didn’t want me to become like her other bitter ex’s and that she wanted me to be there for her… like f~~~ I would do that. I quickly burned all ties with her and in turn almost half of the friends I made in college, apparently most ended up siding with her. A year later I found out she got married to the guy and was expecting his child soon, she wore that Army Wife banner with so much pride, it was sickening when you looked at the bigger picture. After that I took a 5 year break from dating to just work on me… in that time I also quit trying to join the army and moved onto something more productive than just waiting around.

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>The Controlling One: This girl is the one I mentioned at the start of this thread, the one that finally triggered change in me, not only in embracing MGTOW but also looking at myself deeply.

We met in a online dating site (I know… I know) and we where getting along rather well, we both shared a lot in common, from the community’s we gravitate around and the hobbies we liked. We both where scorned by bad ex’s so decided to just be friends for the time being, however after a few “friend dates” things got serious, we quickly became an item and at the time I was thrilled by it… but I think after a month or so things started to change.

She, much like myself, also had quiet a troubled past and she made it quite clear she didn’t like hearing about set topics… and at the time I was white knighting like mad, I was fully supportive of her and censored myself to degree to make her feel better about things. I would double check movies and videos to ensure they where ok for her to watch and even cut down on my well known dark humour as it “effected her”

I think I must have been wearing the thickest rose tinted glasses ever made as I just kept accepting and enabling her victim complex. I think a few weeks into the relationship the habit of her spending the weekends over mine became a thing, this habit would become a main stay in the relationship, every weekend she would come over mine until the day I broke it off. If ever I tried to get out of it to try to see friends and family she would get upset and depressed about it, she would say she felt unstable and that she may harm herself, she would guilt trip me into dropping my plans every time so she could spend more time around me.

The one and only time I managed to get a break away from her for a weekend was when I went shopping with my brother and his partner, she was oddly cool about it all, she said she wanted me to have my own life too. However the day after when I went to see her she had fresh cuts all the way up both her arms and some on her leg… it was like a horror movie, that point on I was too scared to leave her to her own devices for a weekend. Looking back I see now it was all part of her plans

This lack of freedom started to destroy my cycles, I barely talked to friends and my family where getting worried about how little time I spent with them… I’m usually a massive family man, blood always came first in my eyes… but she was starting to change that. My world was slowly becoming all about her, her needs and her feelings.

I started to fall into her mindset too, I started to play the victim, things in my past that didn’t bother me before now brought me so much anger and sadness. She was always there to listen to me, the worst thing is I loved her for it, I felt like she was the only person who got me for who I really was. This downwards slope would go on for months, I started to gain weight, hate my work, hate my life, hate myself and see her as the only good thing in my life.

This would all come to ahead during the early half of January 2016… My mum saw the writing on the wall, we have always been very close and she knew I wasn’t being myself, she knew what this woman was doing to me and set about making her own plans. Oh yes… you read right, it was a woman that helped free me, the greatest woman I know, I owe her so much for saving me from that s~~~ hole of a relationship.

She convinced me to join the family to celebrate my brothers birthday, under the ruse of “it would save your brother on train tickets if you drove him up instead and he would love it if you where there” I fell for it hook and line…

Anyways for the whole time I was up there she applied pressure on me, nothing I would pick up on, but enough to drag on me… it also didn’t help my exs wasn’t dealing too well with me being away. So I had a lot of stress coming from both sides I wasn’t doing so well, this at the end would result in a melt down, after snapping at all my loved ones I just broke down in tears, possibly the lowest I have ever been in my life. My mum took me away from the family and just sat down with me and talked it all out for hours. She helped me take off the rose tinted glasses and see my ex for who she truly was, what she was doing to me and what I was turning into.

Once I returned to the family I was a changed man, I went around all of them being as sorry as I could ever be about what I had done… then I looked at my phone to see it was packed with missed calls and messages. My dad told me the phone was non-stop when I went away to talk with mum. It was all mostly the same old victim talk and how “weak” she felt, when I finally got back in touch I told her why I suddenly stopped messaging and suddenly all her issues went away and it was all about me again. I think she knew what had happened and what was about to happen.

After the family get together I would return home, as I drove home I decided to give it a week, allow me time to settle down, get my s~~~ together and figure out how I was going to let her down as softly as I could. She sadly wouldn’t let that happen, the moment my car was in the drive way she was there, she gave me little to no choice. I was still very unhinged at the time, the moment we sat down on my sofa I just told her it was over, we must have sat there for over 2 hours just talking about it, a lot of emotions came from both of us. In that time she tried throwing herself on me, forcing kisses and even begged me to keep it going until valentines day to see where it went. I knew if I did keep the relationship going I wouldn’t have the b~~~~ to do this s~~~ again, next time she wouldn’t be on the back foot and would have a plan to stop me from breaking up with her.

Unfortunately after all was said and done I found out she had been popping pain killers all day and she was clearly white in the face, I rushed her home only to then take her and her mom to the local A+E. I decided to do the right thing and be there to help her as a friend, I stayed there till the early hours of the morning ensuring she was going to be looked after. In that time she used all the tricks in her little book, victimhood, crying, what ifs and everything in-between. As the sun came up I would leave her with her mom, I still had work the following day.

Now you would have thought that was the end of it… no… I was a idiot… I was still White Knighting. I made it clear to her we could still be friends and I wanted to support her as a friend, I just wasn’t in the right place for anything more at the time. This was when the victimhood went to the next level, all her posts on FB where suddenly very morbid and suggestive about killing herself, she was very passive aggressive towards me. She made it clear to me she wasn’t going to accept anything less than being in a relationship.

I knew what had to come next and it wasn’t going to be easy, I wrote her one last long message, I used her own passive aggressive points against her and told her maybe it was better off if I left her alone now. At that point she took it all back, saying it was all in anger and stuff, she was more than happy being friends and maybe meeting up from time to time as friends. I wasn’t buying it, this was just another change in tactics for her. I never replied back and super blocked her… every online platform we where connected on I blocked her, I then took a whole week off work and hid over my parents house to stop her being able to get me at the door step.

This sadly didn’t stop her, when I came home I found a letter posted through my door, from her, simply put she said if someone as kind and caring as me didn’t love her who would. Then she said at the end of the month she would end it all. This f~~~ed with me big time, I knew I had to stick to my guns but there was that fear in the back of my head, what if she went though with it? The month passed and luckily for me it seemed like it was just a ruse, my ghost accounts were able to still pick up activity from her online profiles. She just wanted to buckle me into submitting, but here comes the cherry on the cake.

Shopping at the local supermarket after work one day I crossed paths with her, she didn’t spot me but I spotted her and nearly shat myself… that was until I noticed the lad she had in tow. I quickly gathered what I needed and slipped away unseen, that night I used my ghost account once more and nosed on her Facebook page. This lad was apparently her new boyfriend, after all the mind f~~~ing she put me through that month she had not only met someone new but quickly got into a relationship with them… it still makes me wonder how much I really did know her.
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That was the final nail in the coffin for me, I spent the last few months just pulling myself together, rebuilding myself from the rubble that was left. I’m still far away from where I want to be but I know I’m going to get there, I have found the drive I thought I lost years ago. Luckily for me most of my friends and family where there in the aftermath, after all the distancing I done almost all of them where there for me, helping me as I picked up the pieces, without them I know I would have buckled and ended up back in her grip. I feel so blessed to have such great people around me.

Just recently I got back into watching MGTOW stuff and it all finally snapped into place for me, I finally got it, I got what the movement was and why I wanted to be a part of it. I was no longer that curious Blue Pill hearing how the other half lived, I have jumped the fence and took a nice big hand full of Red Pills. My days as a blue pill white knighting fool are over, its time to work for myself and stop being everyone’s hero… Its just me, my close family and those who have earned it that will see my generous caring side.

I am tired of ending up with such horrible toxic people, I know not all women are bad, some are really stand up people… but do I really want to risk building a life with someone who could easily just be putting on an act? just be using me for there own ends? I don’t intend to buckle to anyone ever again. I will walk my own path, if I happen to meet someone willing to follow me in my path and who wont try to push me off course that’s fine, but I’m not holding out on it. From now on I’m ensuring I come first, I am the master of my own fate, I will prove not every strong man needs a woman behind them.

So yeah this is my story and reasons behind becoming MGTOW, I know its been a long read but I’m glad you’ve taken time out of your day to read it. I hope this will inspire over men who have been though or are going through what I have been though. It’s been hard to write all of this down but I feel this is the perfect platform to dump these thoughts onto. I hope someone out there will find this useful 🙂

I look forward to what the future holds and the bright road ahead of me…
I also look forward to getting to know more of you on this great website 😀

Peace,
Geeky Grant

"Listen Morty, I hate to break it to you, but what people call love is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. It hits hard, Morty, then it slowly fades; leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. I did it, your parents are gonna do it, break the cycle, Morty, rise above! Focus on science" ~Rick Sanchez, Rick and Morty (TV Show)

[Anonymous 43]

sounds like great trip, but the destination is worth it.

Welcome to Redpillville pal.

We are here to share experiences and save men from the s~~~ vortex.

[CarnageParticipant 22113]

Welcome to the oasis.
You survived the waste land.
Stay in our borders and you will be fine.
I hope you never go back to the radiation zone.

To those following me, be careful, I just farted. Men those beans are killers.

[Anonymous 3]

Geeky Grant wrote:

I think I must have been wearing the thickest rose tinted glasses ever made

No worries. It took me 40 yrs to wake up then literally years of GMOW in a rage. finally calmed down after a whole lot of institutinalization on psyche wards ( 20 separate times in 10 yrs ) & a buffet of psyche meds. Today no meds, no drinking, no drugging, no nothing that will take me out of myself. it was a rough go for a long time. its a process. good luck on your journey to healthy living. i want to add i am an old man, closer to 70 than to 60 & I totally love the way my life has turned out. LG – Buddy. Life is Good. MGTOW

[Anonymous 12]

Ohhhhh Yea.
One who has been there and has the T-shirt too.

Your intro warmed my heart.
You looked into the mirror, and dug up key moments that made you who you are today.
Awesome.

Not a long read, quite fluid too.
I liked spending a moment knowing where you come from.
“straight for attention, across for results” is the only reaction to cutting issues that i know.
… that and Laughing.

Welcome!

[Anonymous 18]

Welcome.

Your story with the last chick is what thirst for female validation forces men into.

We are raised to value female affection in a bipolar way. Despite of a woman’s negative and sometimes evil words and actions to inflict pain men are encouraged to see her above and beyond the obvious lack of any redeeming qualities.

Why?

Sex.

Men are intentionally isolated in Western society. The ability of a woman to give him a way to exercise real emotions are amplified. Often he is attached to negative emotions associated with a particular woman. It is called trauma bonding.

Blue pill men stay with low quality females, even with emotionally deranged or abusive partners because they don’t have an identity sans a woman.

Until MGTOW.

Stay the course.

[UntamedParticipant]

Thank you for the intro, Geeky Grant. I’m glad you were able to drop the shackles of The Plantation and the influences of the Blue-Pill world.
It’s brighter and lighter on this side. No more guilt no more s~~~ tests and no more c~~~, the perfect setup to move on and enjoy life the way it was always meant to be enjoyed.
Welcome to mgtow.com, brother, where bitches ain’t s~~~.

Don't let them Blame, Shame or Tame you!
Give 'em NOTHING, not even an answer!
#GenderSegragationNow!

[Geeky GrantParticipant 35]

I just want to say thanks to all of you for being so welcoming, I was very nervous about posting my inner thoughts like this, I usually just keep them all under my hat and to myself.

All these messages have only reinforced my resolve, I know now I’m heading down the right path for me 🙂

I would reply to all of you individually but I think a group reply is a better way to do it for now, I hope I can get to know you all a little better in time.

I cant wait to see what other things are kicking around on this site, see what else there is to learn about the subject matter and hopefully I can put some of my own insight and input into them. Along with talking about my own ideas and ponderings 😀

Once again thank you all so much~

"Listen Morty, I hate to break it to you, but what people call love is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. It hits hard, Morty, then it slowly fades; leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. I did it, your parents are gonna do it, break the cycle, Morty, rise above! Focus on science" ~Rick Sanchez, Rick and Morty (TV Show)

[Anonymous 12]

There is much to learn …
not in here.

But inside your own history, your past (mistakes?) and current situation.

Beer is in the Fridge!

[UntamedParticipant]

Geeky Grant wrote:

I just want to say thanks to all of you for being so welcoming, I was very nervous about posting my inner thoughts like this, I usually just keep them all under my hat and to myself.

All these messages have only reinforced my resolve, I know now I’m heading down the right path for me

I would reply to all of you individually but I think a group reply is a better way to do it for now, I hope I can get to know you all a little better in time.

I cant wait to see what other things are kicking around on this site, see what else there is to learn about the subject matter and hopefully I can put some of my own insight and input into them. Along with talking about my own ideas and ponderings

Once again thank you all so much~

You’re welcome buddy.
You’ve come home. This place if full of great Men with great wisdom, intellect, education and sound advice.
There isn’t a website anywhere on the entire Net that best fits Men, what we go through and what we do care about.
It’s been a lifesaver to me and made me realize so many things I had no idea about.

Don't let them Blame, Shame or Tame you!
Give 'em NOTHING, not even an answer!
#GenderSegragationNow!

[AposematicParticipant 2671]

Grant Word Malleolus… 80 cm lower than a c~~~😅

Afinogyny.. from the Greek Afino {to abandon/ to set down/ to leave /to allow/ to let } + Gyny {Women} MGHOW’s philosophy to not engage women without “hating them”. Narcorca =Narcissistic Orca typically spouting to a bathroom mirror taking an arms length selfie ; Wallinate describes post wall females whose SMV is terminally negligible New Years resolution "To not make women happy" . Instadestitue: yet another Neologism for Men that cohabit with women that decide to pull the handle of intervention orders.

[Anonymous 5]

Anonymous wrote:

Not a long read, quite fluid too.

I agree, it was a great read. Thank you for sharing.
If ever you decide to go the traditional path of letting a woman lock you down again, please keep notes so you have another terrific story for us when you come back to your other home again, here.

[MoreSkyParticipant 4865]

Welcome Geeky Grant.
Thanks for sharing.
You took some hard but necessary decisions and were s~~~-tested to the extreme.
Grab a beer and keep on the path.

"...reinvent your life because you must; it is your life and its history and the present belong only to you.” It is Your Life, Charles Bukowski.

[Max PowerParticipant 2721]

Welcome and great intro! Very open and honest. Thank you.

Me and my son like Rick and Morty too. Has a lot of red pills.

[Back in BlackParticipant 1732]

GG,

Welcome brother. Your words

I know not all women are bad, some are really stand up people…

I am likely a bit older than you (in my mid 50’s) and married/divorced three times. I would hope you are correct in the above statement but respectfully ask you to reconsider. I know exactly zero stand up females that are not using a man as a utility.

In my experience a women can be stand up/loyal etc only as long as it benefits her. Men, on the other hand, are loyal for loyalty sake.

Please dont mistake a females good behavior as real until you factor in what she is gaining from “acting” in this way. Again, I wish you are correct but personally doubt it (rare exceptions of course).

BIB

"Women are directly adapted to act as the nurses and educators of our early childhood, for the simple reason that they themselves are childish, foolish, and short-sighted—in a word, are big children all their lives, something intermediate between the child and the man, who is a man in the strict sense of the word. Consider how a young girl will toy day after day with a child, dance with it and sing to it; and then consider what a man, with the very best intentions in the world, could do in her place.” Quote from Arthur Shopenhauer, 17th century philosopher

[GnosticParticipant 2491]

Welcome Greeky.

Thanks for confirming there is no such thing as bad publicity when you have the truth on your side.

There is no magic in MGTOW, just recognition of the truth and logical decision how to avoid dangers. The red pill is but the truth, it is no magical potion. Do not think in this modern world men have no longer have natural enemies, men are prey to women and government.

[BushidoParticipant 637]

Thank you for your story brother.

Geeky Grant wrote:

I look forward to what the future holds and the bright road ahead of me…

That is some solid optimism, especially after going through your initial Red Pill phases. I urge caution; while the road gets time to time, so long as you know the destination the journey will not hinder you.

I look forward to your posts in the future. Welcome home.

Logic guides your actions, emotion guides your morals. Only you may decide how you use them.

[AstroParticipant 2045]

At first, I wasn’t going to read that because it was a chapter but I’m glad I did. I can relate to many of your experiences. My first wife was a bipolar manic depressant. I watched her slice her arm to the bone, I too played the White Knight. I am what MGTOW calls an ASSPOWALT but the percentage of decent females is getting smaller and smaller with every generation. I don’t think it’s worth the heartache looking for such a rare species lost in a world of bitches. I have very little family left, none are closer than two states away so I understand how valuable family is. Never let a woman get between you and your family, I think you know that now. Welcome to MGTOW, where the beer is in the fridge and doesn’t come with nagging when you open it.

[AkanbiParticipant 2120]

Good to know you arrived here safe and sound, Geeky Grant.

Welcome to the forums.

My brother make you no follow sheeple o. Look them and Go Your Way.

[bstoffParticipant 4863]

Welcome and thanks for the great intro stories. You definitely belong here and should probably try to isolate yourself from women for a while. Forgive me for saying this, but you seem to be dependent on women for validation, and you might be in a delicate state. Try to lean on MGTOW and your family for support and avoid women like you would heroin. I hope you find peace.

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