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lawyaman2018 1 year, 11 months ago.
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This whole thing once again reminds me of one of my favorite Beatles songs (which should be played over and over by any man being actively monkey branched):
I’m Looking Through You
I’m looking through you, where did you go
I thought I knew you, what did I know
You don’t look different, but you have changed
I’m looking through you, you’re not the sameYour lips are moving, I cannot hear
Your voice is soothing, but the words aren’t clear
You don’t sound different, I’ve learned the game
I’m looking through you, you’re not the sameWhy, tell me why, did you not treat me right?
Love has a nasty habit of disappearing overnightYou’re thinking of me the same old way
You were above me, but not today
The only difference is you’re down there
I’m looking through you and you’re nowhereWhy, tell me why, did you not treat me right?
Love has a nasty habit of disappearing overnightI’m looking through you, where did you go
I thought I knew you, what did I know
You don’t look different, but you have changed
I’m looking through you, you’re not the sameLook at the second line of the two bridges:
Love has a nasty habit of disappearing overnight – just as described by several of the guys. It’s just the way women work.
The thing is, when you first met her it didn’t matter too much who she had relationships with in her past. It was really none of your business. Now, though, you know her and she has had a relationship with someone else while you were together and you’ve even met the guy. That’s now a violation of your relationship with her. It will never be the same since you know she’s been with someone else. It’s really no different than if a wife cheated on you. Totally unacceptable. Moving her new Chad into your house while you were gone – that must be some left coast thing or something – but that is so far beyond the pale that I can’t even believe she did that, even as dumb as women are.
Never see her again. You’re in a good position. There are tons of women out there if you want them. She’s no longer worthy. “I’m looking through you.”
All the best!
Ed
Yeah, she’ll be back. Sounds like she’s banging her drug dealer.
At this moment you should reach between your legs, confirm you still have your b~~~~ and then thank God, Allah and the Flying Spaghetti Monster that you do.
As for her stuff. I remember about a year ago a guy here went through something like this. He got a storage unit for 1 month, put her crap in it and mailed her the key certified mail. Small price to pay really.
Good luck and don’t for one f~~~ing second believe her cheating is a knock on you. Don’t give her excuses for her actions either. She gets to own it now. Don’t take that burden back. Ever!
She will most certainly be back.
Here’s what happened: She did things in reverse. Most women want to ride the c~~~ carousel banging loser Chads while they are young, then “settle down” with a high-earning beta cuck when they know their looks are fading and they need a provider. It’s not like they have to honor their marriage vows to the beta, anyway. They can always use the court system to divorce rape him whenever they decide his usefulness has run its course and walk away with tons of cash and prizes. She, on the other hand, went about this backwards. She got a high-earning man in her early 20s, but still wanted to get her kicks banging Chads. So, she broke up with you, but, of course, she made sure to tell you that “I’ll always love you” bollocks to plant a seed that she really cares about you, when really she just wants to keep you on the shelf as a fallback option. After all, she’s not going to stay with low-earning Chad forever. She knows she’s eventually going to need a beta wallet to latch onto.
I would bet everything I have that if she believes she has any shot with you, she will be back. Now, if you’ve totally cut her off, she might be discouraged enough that she will think it’s not worth a shot. But something tells me that the fact that you catered to her is going to make her think she still has a chance.
If you have a high earning job, there is no reason to be in any relationship that involves cohabitation, let alone marriage. You can bang young women anytime you want. They’ll always put out for a guy they can leech off of.
Of course, the smartest path is to stick to one-night stands to satisfy your sexual needs, and NEVER bring them back to your place. The “me too” bollocks has taken the danger to the next level. All a woman has to do is make an accusation and your life is ruined. Proceed with extreme caution.
I know that she thinks/knows that I’m an option if she wants me back. Not saying that I am, just saying that in her mind I know she thinks/knows she could text me if she needed me and I’d be there. And you’re right, even her mom told me awhile back that she didn’t really date much before she and I started dating.
But I’m not so sure about sowing her wild oats, I mean she’s ready to marry this guy. Is that wild oats, or does she really think this is her prince charming?
This whole thing once again reminds me of one of my favorite Beatles songs (which should be played over and over by any man being actively monkey branched):
I’m Looking Through You
I’m looking through you, where did you go
I thought I knew you, what did I know
You don’t look different, but you have changed
I’m looking through you, you’re not the sameYour lips are moving, I cannot hear
Your voice is soothing, but the words aren’t clear
You don’t sound different, I’ve learned the game
I’m looking through you, you’re not the sameWhy, tell me why, did you not treat me right?
Love has a nasty habit of disappearing overnightYou’re thinking of me the same old way
You were above me, but not today
The only difference is you’re down there
I’m looking through you and you’re nowhereWhy, tell me why, did you not treat me right?
Love has a nasty habit of disappearing overnightI’m looking through you, where did you go
I thought I knew you, what did I know
You don’t look different, but you have changed
I’m looking through you, you’re not the sameLook at the second line of the two bridges:
Love has a nasty habit of disappearing overnight – just as described by several of the guys. It’s just the way women work.
The thing is, when you first met her it didn’t matter too much who she had relationships with in her past. It was really none of your business. Now, though, you know her and she has had a relationship with someone else while you were together and you’ve even met the guy. That’s now a violation of your relationship with her. It will never be the same since you know she’s been with someone else. It’s really no different than if a wife cheated on you. Totally unacceptable. Moving her new Chad into your house while you were gone – that must be some left coast thing or something – but that is so far beyond the pale that I can’t even believe she did that, even as dumb as women are.
Never see her again. You’re in a good position. There are tons of women out there if you want them. She’s no longer worthy. “I’m looking through you.”
All the best!
That song nails it…there are plenty of women in the world besides her, and every day that goes by it sickens me even more the way I was treated by her. She deserves homeless guy, honestly. And no, moving new chad into my place isn’t a west coast thing, it’s something a truly selfish and conniving c~~~ does. And what kind of respectable guy is actually ok with moving into his new girlfriends ex-boyfriend’s place? That tells me exactly what kind of guy he is – a mooching chad who’s going to use her until he’s done with her and move on.
Thanks for your support!
Yeah, she’ll be back. Sounds like she’s banging her drug dealer.
At this moment you should reach between your legs, confirm you still have your b~~~~ and then thank God, Allah and the Flying Spaghetti Monster that you do.
As for her stuff. I remember about a year ago a guy here went through something like this. He got a storage unit for 1 month, put her crap in it and mailed her the key certified mail. Small price to pay really.
Good luck and don’t for one f~~~ing second believe her cheating is a knock on you. Don’t give her excuses for her actions either. She gets to own it now. Don’t take that burden back. Ever!
I really hope I do get the text/call from her wanting me back, just so I can tell her to go enjoy life under the freeway. It’s only a matter of time before she and chad are evicted from the new place, even her dad says he gives it 2 months. We will see, but the selfish part of me does want that sweet revenge.
I really hope I do get the text/call from her wanting me back, just so I can tell her to go enjoy life under the freeway. It’s only a matter of time before she and chad are evicted from the new place, even her dad says he gives it 2 months. We will see, but the selfish part of me does want that sweet revenge.
The best revenge is focusing on yourself. Better yourself as a person, as an individual. Forget revenge. It’s a shallow, empty road. Don’t lower yourself to her level. Don’t even put any focus on if/when she’ll try coming back. It’s of no consequence. Put her out of your mind and move on. That’s the best thing you can do.
This is very true. And my ex did start getting involved with alcohol and drugs quite a bit in the strip club, I’m guessing that’s part of what f~~~ed with her brain.
What f~~~ed with her brain is that she’s a woman, and incapable of operating with logic and reason. But rather, with emotion. Are you familiar with the term “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”? It’s meant to contrast the differences between men and women, but it came out as a term at the time in a way to describe women as these mysterious creatures who are hard to understand. They’re not hard to understand. They’re f~~~ing mental midgets! If they were so hard to understand, our capitalist society wouldn’t have figured them out so quickly. Women are irrational, impulsive beings who are always chasing the next emotional high. Like crack.
Why do you think they’re called “impulse shoppers”? Because they’re attracted to something new and exciting, or on sale, and they just HAVE to have it. Men are controlled with their wallets. They buy some thing they like, but buy largely out of necessity. Women act on emotions. That’s why they will f~~~ a guy they just met at a bar and then rationalize it as “it just happened”. Bulls~~~. You got hot and bothered and let the man between your legs.
Same deal with reality tv shows. Who do you think the primary watchers are? WOMEN. Because women love what? DRAMA. Why do you think the Kardashians are so famous? Because they have talented skill-sets in the kitchen? Fk no. Because their lives are a constant s~~~storm of drama. Part of that comes with being “new and exciting”. Chasing the high. Which is why women are more prone to monkey branch.
Men don’t monkey branch (generally) for anything other than sex. Which is done because a man’s sexual needs are being ignored by the woman. A man works hard, doesn’t get s~~~ in the bed, feels unappreciated, so he runs to another woman.
Women on the other hand, leave guys for money, resources, power, fame, sex, and overall excitement. They do it quite easily, and without remorse. A woman will dump her husband or boyfriend and f~~~ Brad Pitt in a minute. Without hesitation. They have no loyalty. It’s in their nature. Because, to them, it’s in their best interest. Many women have left men entirely because to them, Daddy Government gives them everything they need and doesn’t ask them to put out, or make dinner.
Have you ever, or ever known a guy who tried to logic a woman into liking them, or being in a relationship with them? i.e qualifying themselves like “oh, we would make the perfect couple if you would just give me a chance” or “no one can love you like I could love you”? Have you ever seen them stalk women with flowers and candies, like a total mangina?… Have you ever in your life seen that work? It never works. Men try to rationalize women into loving them, and always fail miserably.
Yet, when you’re on a date, or interacting with a woman in general, how often do the questions “so, what do you do for a living?”, or “what kind of car do you drive?”, or “how much money do you make?” come up? I bet you’re probably rolling your eyes and laughing at this point because you know exactly what I’m talking about, and know yourself precisely how many times it comes up in conversations with women. Women, esp modern day women are about extracting resources from men. That’s always been the game bro. They’re always gauging men to determine their wealth and value to see if that man is worth their time.
In your particular case, the ex was a complete f~~~ing dumbass. Count your blessings. Ice this chick, and her family from your life permanently. Don’t talk to her, don’t call her, if she shows up, slam the f~~~ing door. Because rest assured, when she tires with this deadbeat piece of s~~~, she’ll be back, crying her alligator tears at your door telling you how much she f~~~ed up and how she wants you back. Never go back with an ex. EVER. Before long, you’ll be reminded of why you left in the first place.
1 chance, per woman, per lifetime.
This is so true. Just about every date I’ve ever been on, that’s what always comes up. Questions about success, status and money. When I tell them I’m a lawyer, or that I’m a partner in my law firm, or that I drive an $80k Range, or that I travel all over the country…it’s like an instant panty dropper. But, as has been discussed in this thread, women tire of all that easily and are always looking for that next thrill, that next excitement, that next guy who’s going to make them tingle.
I get the whole excitement of the new chad, the thrill and the “bad boy” stigma that makes them feel bold and fun. But it did really surprise me how insanely fast she wanted to actually start a life with him. Not just go have fun and hook up, but to actually lease this guy an apartment and want to actually marry him one month into dating him, that’s what’s so bizarre to me. But I do know from experience, and from reading on these threads, that the harder and faster one falls into “love”, the harder and faster it ends and comes crashing down.
I saw another post on here talking about how women who work in strip clubs are essentially jaded. When my ex started working for that strip club, I noticed a huge change in her attitude. I’ve known strippers before and girls who work in those clubs, and they seem to all become extremely narcissistic and have an insanely inflated self-worth. I guess it’s because of the attention they get in the clubs and the working for tips thing, but it’s really scary how much those places change a girl for the worse.
The craziest girl I was ever involved with was one I’d known in high school, and then ran into years later in a different city. She had been a stripper in the interim. It screws their head up (even worse than just being female). Our story was similar to yours, except she screwed my head up pretty bad, and their was not an internet for me to seek advice at the time. I did get some good advice, though. And I followed it. Someone successfully explained to me about the strategy of maintaining the connection, and keeping me on the list. The last time she and I spoke, she was being kicked out of her place and needed a truck, a ride, and a place to live. I remember listening to this story on the phone while staring at the ceiling. I told her that my first instinct was to drive over, pick her and her stuff up and bring her back to my place. She was relieved and excited. Then I interrupted her and said that my first instinct with her had been screwing my head up for over a year and was not the best thing for me to do. She asked what the best thing was and I told her that the best thing for me was for us to hang up and not speak anymore. She asked, “for how long?” and my response was “Forever”.
As soon as I said it, all the crazy that was in my head left me. It was like magic. There was a long period of cold, dead, awkward silence while she waited for me to qualify it or state my conditions, but I didn’t. The feeling or relief was too strong. 25 years later and I am more certain of the correctness of that decision than any other decision I ever made. It was the most red pill moment I ever had. I never lowered my standards for women that far again. It was a turning point for me. I had one of the most peaceful night’s sleep I ever had after that phone call.
I found out years later that after we hung up, she dialed the next number on her list, and he bit. she moved in with him that day.
If you have the insight and discipline to say “No”, it’s better to answer when she calls, and tell her “No” for the experience of it. If you’ve never turned down an attractive woman offering, I recommend it at least once in order to learn the power of that word. If you don’t think you have it in you to say “No”, the my advice is to block, delete and send the restraining order. Then try to gain that insight and discipline before the next train wreck finds you, and you start this process over again.
For as long as you have something of value to them to take, they will continue to find you. And this process will repeat until you learn that word. I hope you are still on this forum and that we are still trading these posts when you do – partly because I want to read your post that says, “holy s~~~, how did you know?” but mainly because I like it when my negative experience saves someone else from having it…
This is great advice. I think at this point, I have what it takes to tell her no. I really would rather not block her and prove to myself that I have what it takes to tell her it’s a no for life.
I really hope I do get the text/call from her wanting me back, just so I can tell her to go enjoy life under the freeway. It’s only a matter of time before she and chad are evicted from the new place, even her dad says he gives it 2 months. We will see, but the selfish part of me does want that sweet revenge.
The best revenge is focusing on yourself. Better yourself as a person, as an individual. Forget revenge. It’s a shallow, empty road. Don’t lower yourself to her level. Don’t even put any focus on if/when she’ll try coming back. It’s of no consequence. Put her out of your mind and move on. That’s the best thing you can do.
I think revenge is the wrong word for me to use; I don’t want to get revenge on her because that only brings me down to her level and makes me a petty ex. I want it more for the satisfaction of knowing I was strong enough to not be jerked around by a woman who treated me so s~~~ty. But you’re right, she should be of no consequence. I’ve been focusing on me and making my life the best it can be, and I’m going to continue doing that.
Out of curiosity, would we consider new guy a typical chad?
Her new guy is divorced with 2 kids, was homeless until he moved in with her at her new place, doesn’t have any education (HS dropout), long criminal history and no job.
Textbook Chad. A REAL MAN that women want to f~~~!
I can smell vaginas dripping WET from this BAD BOY!
mmmmmmmm yeah!If women ran the world = It would become the shithole you are seeing.
I guess it’s because of the attention they get in the clubs and the working for tips thing, but it’s really scary how much those places change a girl for the worse.
It doesn’t ‘change them for the worse’. This is Blue Pill thinking.
It peels away the facade and allows you to see their real nature.
Out of curiosity, would we consider new guy a typical chad?
Yes. Chad’s don’t simp for women. Women do the simping for Chads. Notice how that plays out? Women in any other relationship will trying to exert control. But when Chad comes into their lives, guess who falls into the subservient role? Women. When she was with you, she couldn’t be bothered to get her ass off the couch and get to work. But with Chad, not only is she working, she’s working MULTIPLE JOBS to provide for Chad. She’s one motivated c~~~ now. Something she wouldn’t do when she was f~~~ing you silly and living with you.
The woman is a sociopath. But then, they all are. They bleed without dying, and lie without trying. It’s a shame that men couldn’t see past their own selfish interests to stop killing each other. Now because we cut our numbers dying for land and resources, and ideas – women are running the show and outvoting us.
Out of curiosity, would we consider new guy a typical chad?
Yes. Chad’s don’t simp for women. Women do the simping for Chads. Notice how that plays out? Women in any other relationship will trying to exert control. But when Chad comes into their lives, guess who falls into the subservient role? Women. When she was with you, she couldn’t be bothered to get her ass off the couch and get to work. But with Chad, not only is she working, she’s working MULTIPLE JOBS to provide for Chad. She’s one motivated c~~~ now. Something she wouldn’t do when she was f~~~ing you silly and living with you.
The woman is a sociopath. But then, they all are. They bleed without dying, and lie without trying. It’s a shame that men couldn’t see past their own selfish interests to stop killing each other. Now because we cut our numbers dying for land and resources, and ideas – women are running the show and outvoting us.
Very true, he’s definitely a chad then. And you’re right, you’re 100% right. I did literally everything for this girl while she slept and laid on the couch, now she leases him an apartment, pays all the bills, buys all his food, buys his gas, buys him clothes, I’m assuming probably helps pay off the mountain of traffic ticket/child support/credit card debt he has, while he lays around and does nothing (from what I heard last month, he wants to be an actor, and doesn’t want to work a real job so he can concentrate on becoming an actor – obviously without any plan to do so –
truly laughable).You’re right, all women are sociopaths. Every woman I’ve ever known is.
It’s officially been 20 days of complete NC today, and I plan to keep it that way. So sad how a girl with so much potential throws it all away for a loser guy.
Her choices reflects her (low) value. And do as BrainPilot said.
"Expecting to find a decent woman on a dating site is like dumpster diving and expecting to come out with a gourmet meal." Won'tGetFooledAgain
I really hope I do get the text/call from her wanting me back, just so I can tell her to go enjoy life under the freeway. It’s only a matter of time before she and chad are evicted from the new place, even her dad says he gives it 2 months. We will see, but the selfish part of me does want that sweet revenge.
That would accomplish nothing. Personally, I don’t know that you’re strong enough to even go through with it and don’t think risking the temptation is a good idea. You could very well cave, she’s clearly still in your head.
She’s got space in there rent free.if she ends up marrying this dude and has a happy life with him, why do you care? Does that change anything about who you are what you should do with your life? It doesn’t. It’s irrelevant.
And I’m not saying there is something wrong with you because a part of you wants her back, or wants her to try to get back with you. That’s natural. I felt the same way with my ex wife. What got me through it is making a list of the things that had to happen before I could accept her back if she ever wanted to.
For example, how long does she need to go without cheating or monkey branching before you know she’s past all that. I’d say atleast 2 years. I would think that would also include a year of being completely single. She also needs to have gotten a solid job that completely pays for her lifestyle, at least a year. She would need to be off drugs and excessive alcohol or a year. No stripping for a year. She would need to sincerely apologize and completely demonstrate that she understands where she went wrong and will accept the consequences for her actions.
These are not unrealistic expectations, but things will never do even if she realizes that’s what it takes to be in your life again. It’s too easy for her to go find another sucker to use.
Ok. Then do it.
Reverse monkey branching is a thing.
I know, right?
My ex screwed one of her ex’s; apparently didn’t like the sex that much because his dick was too small. (I found this out when I got her drunk, and pointed out that her ex’s dick didn’t likely shrink from when she first dated him)
It is so much a thing… the reverse monkey branching. Once they’ve got someone else, they frequently test this. My ex did that… and I deliberately porked her on a visit to get the rest of her stuff out of my house. She was probably testing the waters to see if she could come back if things don’t work out with new guy.
I let her get that impression, because one kid is with her and one kid is with me, and I don’t like having one kid living out of state. So I figure if she thinks she can move back, I will let her think that, and simply tell her if she arrives in the future, that I simply meant I don’t object to her moving back to the state, but that my house is off limits.
All my life I've had doubts about who I am, where I belonged. Now I'm like the arrow that springs from the bow. No hesitation, no doubts. The path is clear. And what are you? Alive. Everything else is negotiable. Women have rights; men have responsibilities; MGTOW have freedom. Marriage is for chumps. If someone stands in the way of true justice, you simply walk up behind them and stab them in the heart-R'as al Ghul.
I really hope I do get the text/call from her wanting me back, just so I can tell her to go enjoy life under the freeway. It’s only a matter of time before she and chad are evicted from the new place, even her dad says he gives it 2 months. We will see, but the selfish part of me does want that sweet revenge.
That would accomplish nothing. Personally, I don’t know that you’re strong enough to even go through with it and don’t think risking the temptation is a good idea. You could very well cave, she’s clearly still in your head.
She’s got space in there rent free.if she ends up marrying this dude and has a happy life with him, why do you care? Does that change anything about who you are what you should do with your life? It doesn’t. It’s irrelevant.
And I’m not saying there is something wrong with you because a part of you wants her back, or wants her to try to get back with you. That’s natural. I felt the same way with my ex wife. What got me through it is making a list of the things that had to happen before I could accept her back if she ever wanted to.
For example, how long does she need to go without cheating or monkey branching before you know she’s past all that. I’d say atleast 2 years. I would think that would also include a year of being completely single. She also needs to have gotten a solid job that completely pays for her lifestyle, at least a year. She would need to be off drugs and excessive alcohol or a year. No stripping for a year. She would need to sincerely apologize and completely demonstrate that she understands where she went wrong and will accept the consequences for her actions.
These are not unrealistic expectations, but things will never do even if she realizes that’s what it takes to be in your life again. It’s too easy for her to go find another sucker to use.
One chance, per woman, per lifetime. There’s no point making some laundry list of expectations for her to live up to. You know she never will.
I could accept her back if she ever wanted to.
What is this? Your problem is assuming the choice is hers. The choice is YOURS. It’s not up to her.
Out of curiosity, would we consider new guy a typical chad?
Yes. Chad’s don’t simp for women. Women do the simping for Chads. Notice how that plays out? Women in any other relationship will trying to exert control. But when Chad comes into their lives, guess who falls into the subservient role? Women. When she was with you, she couldn’t be bothered to get her ass off the couch and get to work. But with Chad, not only is she working, she’s working MULTIPLE JOBS to provide for Chad. She’s one motivated c~~~ now. Something she wouldn’t do when she was f~~~ing you silly and living with you.
The woman is a sociopath. But then, they all are. They bleed without dying, and lie without trying. It’s a shame that men couldn’t see past their own selfish interests to stop killing each other. Now because we cut our numbers dying for land and resources, and ideas – women are running the show and outvoting us.
Women outnumber us vote-wise partly because they lead safe, sheltered lives compared to men and die less often. Sounds to me like men are getting a raw deal.
Why should a gender that doesn’t sacrifice their own lives and demonstrate that they have “skin in the game” have the same rights as men?
All my life I've had doubts about who I am, where I belonged. Now I'm like the arrow that springs from the bow. No hesitation, no doubts. The path is clear. And what are you? Alive. Everything else is negotiable. Women have rights; men have responsibilities; MGTOW have freedom. Marriage is for chumps. If someone stands in the way of true justice, you simply walk up behind them and stab them in the heart-R'as al Ghul.
I really hope I do get the text/call from her wanting me back, just so I can tell her to go enjoy life under the freeway. It’s only a matter of time before she and chad are evicted from the new place, even her dad says he gives it 2 months. We will see, but the selfish part of me does want that sweet revenge.
That would accomplish nothing. Personally, I don’t know that you’re strong enough to even go through with it and don’t think risking the temptation is a good idea. You could very well cave, she’s clearly still in your head.
She’s got space in there rent free.if she ends up marrying this dude and has a happy life with him, why do you care? Does that change anything about who you are what you should do with your life? It doesn’t. It’s irrelevant.
And I’m not saying there is something wrong with you because a part of you wants her back, or wants her to try to get back with you. That’s natural. I felt the same way with my ex wife. What got me through it is making a list of the things that had to happen before I could accept her back if she ever wanted to.
For example, how long does she need to go without cheating or monkey branching before you know she’s past all that. I’d say atleast 2 years. I would think that would also include a year of being completely single. She also needs to have gotten a solid job that completely pays for her lifestyle, at least a year. She would need to be off drugs and excessive alcohol or a year. No stripping for a year. She would need to sincerely apologize and completely demonstrate that she understands where she went wrong and will accept the consequences for her actions.
These are not unrealistic expectations, but things will never do even if she realizes that’s what it takes to be in your life again. It’s too easy for her to go find another sucker to use.
Exactly. There’s no way it’d be worth all that to her, or to me. No matter what happens, the dynamic has changed forever. It’s no longer a wonder of “will she ever cheat?”, it’d then be only a question of when, with always a lingering question of worry/doubt in my mind. Not going through life like that. She can work her way through chads while I date around in Hollywood and make good money. One day she will realize her loss, after I’m long gone.
Reverse monkey branching is a thing.
I know, right?
My ex screwed one of her ex’s; apparently didn’t like the sex that much because his dick was too small. (I found this out when I got her drunk, and pointed out that her ex’s dick didn’t likely shrink from when she first dated him)
It is so much a thing… the reverse monkey branching. Once they’ve got someone else, they frequently test this. My ex did that… and I deliberately porked her on a visit to get the rest of her stuff out of my house. She was probably testing the waters to see if she could come back if things don’t work out with new guy.
I let her get that impression, because one kid is with her and one kid is with me, and I don’t like having one kid living out of state. So I figure if she thinks she can move back, I will let her think that, and simply tell her if she arrives in the future, that I simply meant I don’t object to her moving back to the state, but that my house is off limits.
I wonder how often reverse monkey branching happens?
The craziest girl I was ever involved with was one I’d known in high school, and then ran into years later in a different city. She had been a stripper in the interim. It screws their head up (even worse than just being female). Our story was similar to yours, except she screwed my head up pretty bad, and their was not an internet for me to seek advice at the time. I did get some good advice, though. And I followed it. Someone successfully explained to me about the strategy of maintaining the connection, and keeping me on the list. The last time she and I spoke, she was being kicked out of her place and needed a truck, a ride, and a place to live. I remember listening to this story on the phone while staring at the ceiling. I told her that my first instinct was to drive over, pick her and her stuff up and bring her back to my place. She was relieved and excited. Then I interrupted her and said that my first instinct with her had been screwing my head up for over a year and was not the best thing for me to do. She asked what the best thing was and I told her that the best thing for me was for us to hang up and not speak anymore. She asked, “for how long?” and my response was “Forever”.
As soon as I said it, all the crazy that was in my head left me. It was like magic. There was a long period of cold, dead, awkward silence while she waited for me to qualify it or state my conditions, but I didn’t. The feeling or relief was too strong. 25 years later and I am more certain of the correctness of that decision than any other decision I ever made. It was the most red pill moment I ever had. I never lowered my standards for women that far again. It was a turning point for me. I had one of the most peaceful night’s sleep I ever had after that phone call.
I found out years later that after we hung up, she dialed the next number on her list, and he bit. she moved in with him that day.
If you have the insight and discipline to say “No”, it’s better to answer when she calls, and tell her “No” for the experience of it. If you’ve never turned down an attractive woman offering, I recommend it at least once in order to learn the power of that word. If you don’t think you have it in you to say “No”, the my advice is to block, delete and send the restraining order. Then try to gain that insight and discipline before the next train wreck finds you, and you start this process over again.
For as long as you have something of value to them to take, they will continue to find you. And this process will repeat until you learn that word. I hope you are still on this forum and that we are still trading these posts when you do – partly because I want to read your post that says, “holy s~~~, how did you know?” but mainly because I like it when my negative experience saves someone else from having it…
When she left you, what was your response? Did you go NC and she eventually reached out to you when she needed you? Or did you stay in contact with her post-breakup?
If I do get that call, telling her no and that we are done forever will make me feel a million times better. Might just be an ego thing, but that’s where’s I’m at right now, good or bad.
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