Mediation – Worth it or not?

[fixthem_flythemParticipant 89]

Right, so, the latest which I think you guys will find typical and hilarious at the same time.

We’ve come to the 99% mark. We have agreed on largely everything that can be agreed on. Then…silence and my phone is blocked.

Socrates said “When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser.”

Interesting that it came down to the wire of us figuring things out ourselves and then when she realized she was losing control over the situation by agreeing to things, she engaged silent running.

So, i said “fine.” I’ll just schedule a formal mediation session and you had better show up. I’m done playing.

If it floats, flies, or fucks, it is cheaper to rent....

[ThelouderthebetterParticipant 178]

I’ve been divorced for two years and I tried mediation at the point where my situation could have still taken me to court. At the time, July of 2016, my soon to be ex served me divorce papers while she was shacking up with her new female lover. We both had our lawyers on hand at the point of mediation. My lawyer was a woman with a TON of divorce case experience and she urged me not to mediate in the same room as my ex. So when we did meet at mediation, myself and my soon to be ex, along with our lawyers, met in the same room with the mediator so introductions and ground rules could be explained. After that, we went to separate rooms. This made my soon to be ex irate. I think this may have been because she knew her emotive act would have less effect on me and the process overall. So both lawyers were women and so was the mediator. The mediator spoke with my soon to be ex first and we started settling on stuff that really didn’t matter. I kept saying we might as well iron out custody (I have 3 young boys) first because that is the one issue I will not negotiate. (I was wanting 50/50 joint) So the mediator figured I had a point and changed the pace to coincide with that issue. She spent a long time in the other room with my soon to be ex and seemed to want me to understand how emotional she was about the custody of the children. It was slightly offensive because I thought the point was what was best for the children and not how many tears mom was spilling. There were a few more back and forths with the mediator but ultimately everything died on the hill of child custody. I was made to feel like the bad guy for not budging on 50/50. Thankfully my lawyer knew the judge we were scheduled to work with and gave me every confidence that he favored 50/50 situations. So mediation was a pointless endeavor.

What actually ended up breaking my ex’s stupid level of stubborn was her calling me one morning and me finally laying out that I had a much better support structure for the boys with family (in town) and that if either one of us was going to fight to have more than 50/50 it should be me. She promptly hung up on me but called back 20 minutes later and said “okay”. Months of stress and anguish felt alleviated in that single moment, and though she had a few more tricks up her sleeve, the biggest concern for me as a father was over with and solidified. Time in court was never necessary.

"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you like everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." E.E. Cummings.

[fixthem_flythemParticipant 89]

Louder…thank you for your story.

Well, after getting froze out and not communicated with, I finally understand why. Rather than go to mediation, she was pushing it off to keep me in supervision and file a temporary order.

More money down the tubes. I am at a point where I want to quit.

If it floats, flies, or fucks, it is cheaper to rent....

[fixthem_flythemParticipant 89]

So, I changed tactics.

Got a new lawyer in the area where court is and he bulldogged her lawyer into some (so far) pretty favorable results. Rather than do it ourselves, we are going to use the plan we came up with and the courts forced a mediation down our throats saying “go…and come back with an agreement.” A mediation must occur within 45 days.

If it floats, flies, or fucks, it is cheaper to rent....

[ronnyquestParticipant 156]

Mediation is almost never worth it. I’ve known many men who tried a mediation to force their ex-wife to abide by the tenets of the divorce decree, to no avail. I tried with my first wife. In no circumstance with which I am familiar has any action ever been taken on behalf of the father after a mediation is signed. Neither the sheriff, the court, nor the State in my case would force my ex to abide by the divorce decree. The only possible way to achieve any kind of respite is to either take her back to court or get her thrown in prison.

Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking! -- William Butler Yeats

[L. EulerParticipant 351]

Not. Forsaken is right.

Get a British passport, 99 year Dubai/Qatar visa.

Next step…form an umbrella corporation in Dubai or Qatar, have it oversee all Canadian and US companies.
Sharia law applies. Money to male descendants; in fact the widow gets thrown in jail till the sons release her pending the estate workup (so she can’t steal everything you ant to give to your kids)

MGTOW Sharia is the next step. A couple of weeks in the slammer, will cool her wheels. The abused kids will let her cool her heels for a couple of weeks, they’ll let her sit……builds character!!

On your death renounce USA / Canadian citizenship.: presto Dubai ? Qatar law works, tip the Sheik 5% ; no USA estate tax.

L.Euler

[fixthem_flythemParticipant 89]

So, we finally went. F~~~ing finally.

I didn’t get everything I wanted, she didn’t get everything she wanted. In the end, we are ending up with the schedule we left off with before she started all this s~~~ back in November.

Waste of space, time, and money.

If it floats, flies, or fucks, it is cheaper to rent....

[NoMoreParticipant 1233]

I spent 5-600 on mediation just to legally satisfy this step. I knew she was unreasonable. Though, it was relieving to hear the mediator tell my lawyer and I that she’d never met someone so delusional in their demands.

A co-worker recently told me, "If you want to see who someone really is, divorce them." I have found out how true this is. When your wife drops the façade of being the caring partner, you will witness all of the greed, hate, and spite that she has masked. It is truly breathtaking!

[fixthem_flythemParticipant 89]

When we sat down the mediator came in about 10 minutes later after reviewing the position papers.

He said “(Shrew), you don’t want to take this to court because the evidence standard is a lot higher and this likely won’t pass off as well as you think it is going to. (To me), You don’t want to take this to court either, because you won’t come out as well as you think you will. We are settling this TODAY.”
It was like getting scolded by your grandfather.

If it floats, flies, or fucks, it is cheaper to rent....

[JustAnotherGuyParticipant]

I promise mediation will only go as well as the woman wants it to, and they fundamentally seek out drama and conflict so I wouldn’t get my hopes up.

I tried mediation and marital counseling with my cupcake. She was worse than a dead horse. She would have NONE of it.

The only reason I got off as easy as I did was because she was getting a deep dicking by another dude, she had post partum going for her, and she’s lazy so I got to fill out and file all the paperwork, which she didn’t read or contest in that last 5 minutes before the judge, who also didn’t contest it because I wasn’t a complete asshole and there were no lawyers (neither of us had money).

Custody ALWAYS gets ugly. Don’t expect mediation to get you far. The kid is a tether to your wallet and a way for her to exercise control over you long after she’s under somebody else.

Cupcakes are Cold. MGTOW is Absolute Zero.
“Let us wait a little; when your enemy is executing a false movement, never interrupt him” –Napoleon Bonaparte, 1805

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