Leaving my girlfriend; What would you do?

[alchemistParticipant 484]

Short version: I can’t escape with all my possessions in one go and am not willing to leave them behind, but I want to leave ASAP so what should I do? Lie to her? String her along till I’ve got all my stuff out? I’m desperate to cut loose though… I just want to end it now but I worry she’ll destroy my valuables… what would you do?

Long version: I can’t go on in the relations~~~ I’m in any longer, my girlfriend is pretty verbally/psychologically abusive and has a LOT of personal problems which I can’t deal with on top of my own depression (and that’s on top of everything else we know about women.) But before I leave, I want your advice. What would you do in my situation?

I’m going to stay with my grandparents untill I get a job, there’s a lot more opportunity for work in the city (currently in the middle of nowhere) However I can’t bring all my stuff right away or atleast in one trip, it simply won’t fit in my grandparent’s house and I have nowhere else to store it.

My stuff comprises of tools, equipment, my life’s work and a large collection of unique valuables I’d really regret leaving behind, and yes, I have seen fight club- “The things you own end up owning you” but my philosophy is; F~~~ that, I’d rather own the things which make me happy than not have them. I can handle the challenge of transporting them, I’ve done it more than 6 times. I just can’t move them yet. What would you do? She has been respectful of my stuff in the past but she’s got emotional stability problems so should I just hope she doesn’t go nuts and destroy everything? Should I lie to her and say I’m just going to see my family for a while? Or what? I want to leave really soon, I am torn apart inside because there’s a lot about her I like but I know I can’t be happy in this relationship with her and I want to finally LIVE MY OWN LIFE! GO MY OWN WAY!. I don’t have time to find storage or enough money for it either.
What would you do?

[Anonymous 5]

alchemist wrote:

String her along till I’ve got all my stuff out?

Given the toxic nature of the relationship and the likelihood of her destroying whatever she can,,, just out of spite ( which women seem to think they have the birthright to do ). I think this is your only option.

You can be noble and forthright with your intentions and seize the higher moral ground if you like. See where that gets you.

[alchemistParticipant 484]

Anonymous wrote:

alchemist wrote:

String her along till I’ve got all my stuff out?

Given the toxic nature of the relationship and the likelihood of her destroying whatever she can,,, just out of spite ( which women seem to think they have the birthright to do ).

Yeah that’s so f~~~ed up and I see it all the time … in her aswell….

Anonymous wrote:

I think this is your only option.

You can be noble and forthright with your intentions and seize the higher moral ground if you like. See where that gets you.

As much as I loathe to say it, you may be right. I hate being dishonest but … this isn’t a relationship founded on nobility and morality from both sides … morality needs to be reciprocal and she’s likely not to reciprocate. That’s a very good point, ordinaryguy, thankyou.

Weigh in with your opinions, even if they differ, heck, ESPECIALLY if they differ- that’s where we’ll find the best path.

[Anonymous 11]

You’re in a tough situation. I’ve never lived with women I’ve dated or allowed them to live with me. Even as a blue pill moron, I had a little MGHOW inside guiding me.

I’d start slowly moving things out of there which will help with the one go issue.. I’d do things she won’t notice first like equipment and tools. You can always use a pretext like Jim Bob borrowed it if she asks about anything missing. If you can line up a few friends with trucks, I’d hit her with a surprise shock and awe on the final move.

From my friend’s experiences, they will go for the things that you have the deepest emotional connections so I’d triage those too with high priority.

Plan ahead and set the trap for when you are ready to spring it. Be stealthy about it. Do not utter one word to her of what you are planning.

If you can manipulate her into dumping you, it will go much easier on you and your stuff. Women go apoplectic when a man dumps them and will do some crazy s~~~. Yes, your possessions are in grave danger.

Plan an exit strategy and execute your plans at a time of your choice.

[RebaneParticipant 215]

Thought no 1: Bring some friends with you, tell her it’s over and start moving out. The stuff that won’t fit in your grandparent’s house you can temporarily keep at your friends houses. It would also keep her temper controlled if you’re with your buddies (witnesses).

Thought no 2: Sell something or borrow some money to send her on a vacation for a few days and move out.

[alchemistParticipant 484]

Thanks men! That is some golden advice I would never get anywhere else, however, there is a problem… the reason I’d never get this advice from anywhere else in my life is because I have no friends.
I’m no socialite, heck I’m a hermit. So getting help is out the window 🙁 unless any of you are in north Wales and want me to be indebted to you forever? 😛

[Anonymous 11]

alchemist wrote:

I hate being dishonest

I don’t like being dishonest either. However, there are times when deception is to your benefit. Do not feel guilt over this. This is one of those times. Brother, I can lie like a rug with no remorse too. I prefer not to go into that mode.

I was totally honest with my county’s jury services people about my self-employment situation after a jury summons. They are used to people lying about getting out of jury duty. I somehow got a top 1% juror number they will never call after I rescheduled. Honesty does pay in many situations. Dumping a woman is not one of them.

I’m in the Southeastern US. Everyone has pickup trucks here. Since you’re going to be flying solo, you may need to consider moving stuff out more slowly and putting up with her s~~~ or, if you can afford it, hire a crew. Family is also a good resource.

Good luck and Godspeed to you.

[alchemistParticipant 484]

Anonymous wrote:

alchemist wrote:

I hate being dishonest

I don’t like being dishonest either. However, there are times when deception is to your benefit. Do not feel guilt over this. This is one of those times.
[…]
Good luck and Godspeed to you.

Thankyou, your advice is invaluable. Maybe I’ll try to hold out longer untill things are more convenient to me.
My grandad is helping me move but he’s old and sick so I’ve got to wait for him to have a good week. Which should be next week, I hope. I’ll try to hold out to then but it’s too stormy outside for me to even sleep alone in my caravan (a tiny and ramshackle “Monza” trailer from the 70’s, no good for PUFO* without a car and not enough protection from my girlfriend) so times are hard.

*Picking Up and F~~~ing Off

[Spank The MisandristsParticipant 2308]

I know as a man it’s not something we are proud to do, but hey let them taste their own medicine, call the cops and say you fear to go back and get your stuff, because she’s abusive. Ask them to come with you, get your stuff, and try to p~~~ her off, or even better try to make her hit you, so they cops have a reason to arrest her.

[OgreParticipant 5863]

Spank The Misandrists wrote:

I know as a man it’s not something we are proud to do, but hey let them taste their own medicine, call the cops and say you fear to go back and get your stuff, because she’s abusive. Ask them to come with you, get your stuff, and try to p~~~ her off, or even better try to make her hit you, so they cops have a reason to arrest her.

Since you’re in the UK and they’re miles ahead of the U.S. on this equality business, this makes perfect sense. At this point I can’t say to try to p~~~ her off, but the cops should come out and keep everything at a low simmer while you extract your possessions from their current location.

I failed to realize in my youth that I was the prize. I was going to work. I was going to earn. Little did I realize that due to feminism, that no longer meant I had to share. Road soon, Desert after.

[FrankyParticipant 2338]

1)Start moving your stuff over one trip at a time.
2)Act natural and make sure it’s as covert as possible.(THE STEALTHY MODERN MAN’S WAY)
3)TAKE A SHARP TURN TROUGH THE DOOR AND BUST OUT OF THERE.

[alchemistParticipant 484]

Spank The Misandrists wrote:

I know as a man it’s not something we are proud to do, but hey let them taste their own medicine, call the cops and say you fear to go back and get your stuff, because she’s abusive. Ask them to come with you, get your stuff, and try to p~~~ her off, or even better try to make her hit you, so they cops have a reason to arrest her.

I broke up with her once before but caved in because she begged me not to go, but when I initially broke up with her, she hit me, she lost her s~~~ and started screaming and hit me and grabbed me and got quite physical. I don’t expect rationality, I expect uncontrolled anger… and as mentioned above, vindictive spite.

You know, I never considered that this is actually a situation where I may have to call the police. If a random man were going to destroy my possessions I’d be on the phone to them in a heartbeat (maybe I’d grab my axe first)… f~~~ing hell, I was in making exceptions for her because she’s a woman…. holy s~~~ this is a red pill moment.

[shovelheadriderParticipant 2400]

call 2 men and a truck type hauling guy to storage locker

[WolfParticipant 890]

Ideally, you want to do it like pulling off a band-aid: quickly in one motion.

I would plan to do this during a time while she is at work, which would give you about 8 hours.

You don’t have friends or cash, which makes it harder. What about family? All you need is one or two guys and a truck to pull it off. Load up your stuff, leave and never look back.

You say she’s emotionally unstable, so the key here is to not allow her an opportunity to go bats~~~ crazy on you or your stuff. I realize that you value your stuff, but you are more important than stuff. It sounds like you can’t get yourself and your stuff out in one sweep, so you need to prioritize. Ask yourself: what’s more important? And keep in mind that the law and state are biased in her favor!

[Mr. SpockParticipant 10911]

I agree with the posters who have said that you should move out slowly and deceptively. If your soon-to-be ex is as abusive as you say, consider protecting your grandparents and your own sanity by securing a PO Box to receive your mail. Sure it might cost a lot but if she finds out where you are living, your grandparents might be subjected to some of her s~~~. They don’t deserve that. The last thing you need is a psycho-bitch finding out where you live and giving more grief to you as well. Good Luck!

Feminism isn't about equality with men, it's about leverage over men.

[Spank The MisandristsParticipant 2308]

alchemist wrote:

I was in making exceptions for her because she’s a woman…. holy s~~~ this is a red pill moment.

Exactly bro, and guess what, she knows that too and that’s why she behaves the way she does, she knows as woman she can get away with almost everything.

[TheroniusParticipant 975]

You could smuggle out the stuff you are most worried about, until you get it down to one last big load. If you move some of your stuff in her way she won’t notice the other missing stuff. Start with the irreplaceable things, since she will attack those first.. Things like tools and such are hard to break and she probably won’t value them highly. When she bitches about the stuff in her way you can pretend to be moving it to that friend’s place with the big garage. You might just get it all out before she figures out she’s being curbed. Sell anything you really don’t have to keep.
Good luck, and keep focused on the prize (freedom). You might have to swim a river of s~~~ to get there, but it’s worth it.

"I am is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that I do is the longest sentence?" - George Carlin

[jt_tooParticipant 14]

I think you need to plan a sudden surprise move, like suggested above.

Plan it for when she will be gone for a number of hours. Have a moving company show up a and load your stuff into a truck, then unload it into a storage place. Borrow the money to do this if necessary.

[Silverstone the SecondParticipant]

Take them out a little at a time, keep it all natural. For bigger stuff, like furiniture, tell her your parents or relatives are going to get some new furniture and you have to get rid of the old. I would have said act like YOU were buying new furniture but since money is low, make up some excuse. Make that big furniture the last thing you get out and all the small stuff out first. I’ve been in the same boat, buddy. Honesty will do nothing for you. It doesn’t matter how gracefully you try to end it, she will ruin your s~~~, and her friends will cheer her on, men will cheer her on, society will cheer her on. NOBODY will cheer you on, you’ve got to be in it for yourself, because nobody else will. Best of luck, lets us know how it goes man.

Feminism is a movement where opinions are presented as facts and emotions are presented as evidence.

[Anonymous 11]

@alchemist:

Since you’re with an abuser, you are probably dealing with someone with a personality disorder. There are techniques one can use to disengage from them. I’ve used them against both men and women with PDs with great effect. Research and study them. Always keep her from having access to your covert web surfing and communications.

We strongly encourage you to summon the inner strength to punt her from your life. All I can tell you is that the results of your hard work and perseverance will be worth it for yourself in the end.

[Author]

Posts