Just went on a date, had to share!

[dasboot89Participant 22]

I don’t believe the maxed out excuse either.  People always seem to have the means necessary to pay for something when they want to buy something.

It’s just an excuse.  Since she knew that I wasn’t going to let her get away with a free meal, she had to bargain and get her cost reduced.

That’s what makes me so much different than women.  If I go out with men, I never want anyone to pay for me.  And that’s what makes me comfortable, knowing that the men will not expect me to pay for them, and I will not expect them to pay for me.

With women it’s always such a disappointment.  And if not me, they’ll still easily find a bunch of neutered suckers who will fund them elsewhere.

[StargazerParticipant 12505]

Just like when a dude says “I’m not racist…” and you know you’re about to hear some racist s~~~, when a female says “I’m independent… ” you know you’re about to pay the whole check.

My last “date”… met a chick at my usual coffee shop, talked to her for a half hour and swapped numbers. Two days later there was a huge storm and she texted me “We should be making out right now.” So I went to her place, picked her up and drove her to an empty field on the edge of town… we made out for a few minutes and she blew me. Afterwords we split a beer, watched the lightening for a little while and then I dropped her at home.

That’s a date.

[dasboot89Participant 22]

That’s not a bad date.  Sounds as if there was hardly any bulls~~~ involved at all.  A+

[Cap285Participant 6007]

Not sin at all. This is about going your own way after all.

However, this is pretty standard on how women act on all first dates and how they end. Setting a timer was genius.

Take not lurking ladies, this man seemed more interested in this date as a social experiment, not if it was going anywhere.

Fuck this planet.

[Cap285Participant 6007]

Fermat wrote:

One of the plethora of reasons I do not engage is nonsense manipulative social rituals like dating. Loneliness should be solved by forming lasting friendships founded on common interests and trust. Dating is no more than mammalian mating version of a job interview where everything you say and do is being evaluated by the other person on the basis of sexual and financial market value. Nonsense.

Gold my friend. Gold.

Fuck this planet.

[sidecarParticipant 35837]

dasboot89 wrote:

I have thought about that “separate checks” thing, but I usually chicken out at the last second.

Don’t. You won’t regret it. Once you’ve done it once you will do it every time after. It changes your social footing for the rest of the evening, and you will never want to go back.

But I have had women pull out $20s and say “this is all I have, I hope it is enough” which is purely bulls~~~ because everyone has a credit card….

This is why you do the courteous thing and request separate checks before ordering. That way she can adjust her order to something more suiting her finances.

If she claims to have no money whatsoever, then it’s OK to go ahead and pay the entire bill if you think the evening might be salvageable, but make certain you order for her. If you’re paying, you’re deciding. This is something I got off of @keymaster and having now tried it a few times I can agree that it’s solid.

[dasboot89Participant 22]

I would love to do that.  But I always had a horrible scene play out in my head where she gets upset and storms out. But, that probably wouldn’t be so bad after all, but it would be embarrassing, especially for a socially anxious person such as myself.

I haven’t gone out on a “date” in nearly two months so it isn’t like I will get to try it out anytime soon, but perhaps, some day.

In regards to your last part about “ordering for her” if she has no money whatsoever (which is a crock of s~~~ to begin with, there is no woman going out on a date with absolutely NO money,) how does one go about “ordering for someone?”  I mean, food is a delicate issue.  It seems as if, in order to successfully order someone, you would need to communicate with them to see what they want to eat that day.

I mean, I could order her a chicken BLT, for example, but who says that is what she is in the mood for?  Or what about a chocolate shake when she wanted vanilla?

This all seems even more complicated than simply requesting separate checks.!

[sidecarParticipant 35837]

dasboot89 wrote:

I would love to do that. But I always had a horrible scene play out in my head where she gets upset and storms out.

Learn to enjoy those scenes because they are funny as hell. Laugh at her as she throws her little tantrum and leaves.

In regards to your last part about “ordering for her” if she has no money whatsoever (which is a crock of s~~~ to begin with, there is no woman going out on a date with absolutely NO money,) how does one go about “ordering for someone?”

Immediately after you finish telling the waiter your order go right on with: “and the lady will have…” and then say whatever you have decided she should eat. That’s how I’ve done it. When she complains, and I’ve only had one with the guts to complain while the waiter was present, simply tell her: “If I’m paying it’s my decision.”

I mean, I could order her a chicken BLT, for example, but who says that is what she is in the mood for? Or what about a chocolate shake when she wanted vanilla?

What about it? If you’re the one paying, you’re the one choosing. The customer is always right, and if you’re the one paying for both meals YOU ARE THE CUSTOMER. She isn’t. She’s just present. Technically she’s just a mooch. Beggars can’t be choosers.

This all seems even more complicated than simply requesting separate checks.!

It’s only as complicated as you let it be. I usually just ask for separate checks. Ordering for her only happens if she doesn’t want separate checks and refuses to pay for her own meal.

[dasboot89Participant 22]

It seems to me, if she was stupid enough to willingly meet a man at a bar or restaruant without being able to pay for her own meal ($10-$15 at most,) I feel as if I should perhaps be the one to get up and walk away, rather than having to “order” for her just because I’m paying.  That seems like a bit of a “submission” as well.  Sure, you’re being “dominant” by choosing what she eats, but you’re still paying for it.  Just like your domesticated pet dog.

[sidecarParticipant 35837]

dasboot89 wrote:

rather than having to “order” for her just because I’m paying.

It’s not a matter of “having” to order for her. You insist on it. There’s a huge difference.

And it’s not an issue of “dominance” or “submission” anything like that. It’s an object lesson to the woman that the person who pays is the person who calls the shots.

Too many women believe that they get to choose while a man has to pay. They need to be disabused of this misconception. There are only two ways of doing that: make her pay for whatever she chooses, or make the selection for everything you pay for. Allowing her to choose for herself and then paying for whatever she chooses only reinforces her self serving false sense of entitlement, so whatever you do, don’t do that. Even if it does men standing up and walking away.

[dasboot89Participant 22]

sidecar wrote:

It’s not a matter of “having” to order for her. You insist on it. There’s a huge difference. And it’s not an issue of “dominance” or “submission” anything like that. It’s an object lesson to the woman that the person who pays is the person who calls the shots. Too many women believe that they get to choose while a man has to pay. They need to be disabused of this misconception. There are only two ways of doing that: make her pay for whatever she chooses, or make the selection for everything you pay for. Allowing her to choose for herself and then paying for whatever she chooses only reinforces her self serving false sense of entitlement, so whatever you do, don’t do that. Even if it does men standing up and walking away.

But, that leads me back to the question….if I don’t “have” to order for her, why in the f~~~ would I insist on it?  I would rather not pay for anything.  I don’t expect anyone to pay for me, and the least I would “expect” from a friend would be for them to be the same way about themselves.

[sidecarParticipant 35837]

dasboot89 wrote:

if I don’t “have” to order for her, why in the f~~~ would I insist on it?

I just said. You do it to teach her that the right to choose rightfully belongs to the one who pays.

I would rather not pay for anything.

Then don’t pay for anything. Or pay for your own meal and let her groak at your food. Or get up and walk away. Or whatever. Just whatever you do do NOT let her choose her own meal on your expense.

The point is that IF you are paying for her meal, then you damn well should be choosing what she eats.

If you’re not paying for her, then it’s not an issue. Just be careful, though, because it’s amazing how many women “misplace” their pocketbooks between ordering and when the waiter brings the check. That’s why you have to be proactive and request separate checks up front before ordering.

[Just MikeParticipant 393]

<span style=”font-family: ‘Open Sans’, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 13.3333330154419px; background-color: #fbfbfb;”>I would love to do that.  But I always had a horrible scene play out in my head where she gets upset and storms out. But, that probably wouldn’t be so bad after all, but it would be embarrassing, especially for a socially anxious person such as myself.</span>

Say this scenario does play out. You assert something you have a right to assert, for your own reasons. She gets upset. So…f~~~ the bitch, f~~~ the shaming. As she’s carrying on, just walk out on her like a complete boss, cut the strings and don’t look back. Only embarrassing for the bitch left standing there making a scene, being a spoilt prat who didn’t get her own way. No one’s going to pat her on the back for that sort of behaviour. You, on the other hand, gain self-respect, and that will help overcome social anxiety to a degree. Your win.

Society: I refuse your stick and carrot. If you try to beat or shame me you'd better take me down first time. If I want smoke blown up my ass I'll buy a cigar and a length of hose.

[dasboot89Participant 22]

About two and a half years ago I met up with a girl one night for some coffee at a local restaurant.  She had a nasty attitude.  She wanted to have sex with me, but throughout our entire meeting, she was putting me down, saying how horrible and terrible I was for the way I thought and the things that I was talking about.  I just kept on with my poker face.  She was really nervous and fidigity.  She was a real weirdo, most likely mentally unstable.

I tried to cut her off on the telephone call from earlier that evening before we met up.  After awhile, I was like “Well, this isn’t going to work, goodbye” and I hung up.  But she kept calling back.

In the restaurant, she ended up WANTING to pay for my coffee for some reason.  When the FEMALE WAITRESS came to collect our bill, the other girl identified that she would be paying for both of us.  The FEMALE WAITRESS said “NO” and gave me a nasty look, as if she was going to give this bitch a free ticket just because she was paying for a man’s beverage.  I thought that was so f~~~ed up.  The waitress should NOT have interfered, but that’s what happened.

The girl ended up pleading with the waitress to not worry about it, and eventually paid for our two coffees.

I walked outside, waited for her at the door, and then said goodbye and walked to my car.  She said “Wait!  Why did you wait for me?”  I said, because I wanted to make sure you got to your car safely.

She really wanted the sex, but I was very turned off by her mental instability, terrible attitude, and her repeated put-downs of me.  I don’t know if all of these were s~~~ tests or not, but they were definitely beyond what I would consider to be “normal.”  And worst of all, the waitress interfering too.  Tow f~~~ing whore c~~~s, they could probably smell the scent of bitch on each other.

[Binary LogicParticipant 2351]

felix wrote:

The last time I had a woman offer to pay for a meal her credit card was declined. So I ended up paying anyway.

That is a questionable situation. Did she offer knowing it would be declined? Was she obviously embarrassed, or did she do it just to save face? Makes me curious.

dasboot89 wrote:

She really wanted the sex, but I was very turned off by her mental instability, terrible attitude, and her repeated put-downs of me. I don’t know if all of these were s~~~ tests or not, but they were definitely beyond what I would consider to be “normal.”

Definitely sounds like a s~~~ test. She wanted to see how long you’d sit there and deal with her mindless dribble while still expecting. Or, it could of played out where you ended up getting nothing in return and ended up going home feeling drained of your pride. Either way, the outcome and your actions are commendable.

Funny, isn't it? How women thrive on a mans time, attention and resources, while simultaneously telling him he isn't enough...

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