Home › Forums › Relations~~~s › Jealousy and Feeling Replaced
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Masculine_Man 3 years, 5 months ago.
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So yesterday I learn from her that the new man is a co-worker. It turns out he is currently going through a divorce. I like the guy and still do but have mixed feelings about it. I know it doesn’t really matter because either way it doesn’t affect me.
Thanks again for the support and advice. I know I have to get over it, be strong, and not care anymore. It’s easier said than done but I guess the best things in life don’t come easily. I hope I can be as strong and assured as the rest of you one day.
So yesterday I learn from her that the new man is a co-worker.
So she prefers to f~~~ co-workers, huh? Take from a guy who works in “business re-engineering”, that little peccadillo will put her ass in a sling sooner than later.
You’re better off being shed of her because she’s on a bullet train to a pink slip.
Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.
Arrowtotheknee. I too once dated and fell in love with a co-worker. It did not end well, when it did end. It was a terrible experience, and I ended up quitting the job just to get away from it all (It was a second job anyways, but still it’s the principle I am trying to hammer down here). Lesson from that?????—– I learned that all women are the same (I just know now never to date one I would work with). You are not alone brother, those feelings you have means you are actually ALIVE. Alive with the FREEDOM to do as you choose. I KNOW it is hard to hear. But these guys will steer you in the right direction, there is a similar pattern in all of these stories. AWALT.
Do not get jealous. It is a bad look, brother. I have been replaced, or how I will call it now– fully utilized. . You see it in person, it is worse. It hurt for a long time, but the hurt only means you are a real person. You are a man. But then something will happen. You will MGTOW. FULLY. And all this s~~~ will not matter. But you have to make the decision. At least you know now….do not work and date. Tough lesson learned, believe me I can personally tell you this— but better to have learned it now before you got it pregnant and married.
Do not be mad at the other dude. We need to love our fellow man. Just know the same fate for him will be what has happened to you. If anything, wish to yourself that you could warn the sonofabitch. She has reeled in another one, and likely bashed you in the process. They all do. Mine didn’t work with me, but he would come in the store WITH THEIR BABY all the time. (Boy, that was f~~~ing fun. Need I repeat my main message here? LOL). Know she is just riding the dick carousal, it is real. You know what else is real? THE WALL, brother. THE WALL IS REAL and will happen to them anyway Do I hate her? (Well, when someone tries to f~~~ your best friend and roommate….and lie to you about it and therein accusing MY friend of hitting on her….) No. I don’t hate anyone. I only wish I knew BETTER then. Now all I can do is know better for NOW.
As for coping. Man… realize we are all replaceable. When you start gaining that perspective…..why do you really want to put yourself back out to that? What is the rush??? Why not go your own way, and live a life that you would love for YOURSELF? Who knows, you might find a unicorn one day. But there is so much more you can do for yourself. You only have ONE life….who do you want to live it for?
As far as staying friends, yeah….nope. You will always want more. The thing now is– why even bother to begin with? And I’m through with the whole “wish her to be happy” situation…..that is Blue Pill thinking. Once you get through that, and it gets to “I could really care less what she is doing because I have my own life. I respect the decisions to go my own way, I will REMEMBER them so I do not repeat my mistakes.”
Cheers
Dude, I am a decade younger than you but I can state your problem real simply:
We live in a culture, especially for the 30 somethings and under, where everyone is replaceable everywhere in everything. You haven’t accepted this fact…that you are a number. Period.
No applause necessary, I also do birthday parties for children.
NAILED IT. 30 here, it’s a jungle out there. Best to go one’s own way
Today was kind of bad for me because I now see them talking and taking breaks together. The relationship is coming out in the open and I’m forced to look at it. I still want to like this guy but I’m starting to feel the resentment I hoped I wouldn’t feel. I tell myself today is the first day and as I get used to it things will get better. It’s pride talking here, but I was close to having sex with her but didn’t. I’m sure this guy is because of her sudden romantic feelings for him. This is pride and jealousy talking I know. I’m not sure if banging her would have made me feel any better about this situation or not.
For awhile I was the guy who could make her laugh at anything or laugh whenever things were bad. I’m not that guy anymore and it sucks. You see, my problem is that I’m loyal and I tend to fall hard and over think things. I shouldn’t feel nearly as crappy as I do about this yet I do.
I think I know what I have to do. I need to find someone else and fast. I need to replace her. I figure one of two things will happen 1. by some miracle something works out or 2. I get burned by someone else. That burn will replace this one and pretty soon I won’t care about the co-worker anymore. My left foot is hurting, so I’m going to drop a rock on my right foot so I can forget about the pain in the left one. Maybe then I will get smart and buy some MGTOW shoes for my damn feet!
I’m trying here. This situation has taught me just how weak I am. I take no pride in that. I also normally don’t spill my guts on the ‘net about this stuff but I trust this place. We all have stories here, and several a lot worse than mine, so I take strength in this community. I grew up with the old saying “there is someone for everyone” and “love happens when you least expect it.” I’m beginning to see these are lies we tell ourselves to keep the suicide rates down. Some men are not destined to find love. I’m glad the MGTOW philosophy is here to turn something painful into something positive.
It’s pride talking here, but I was close to having sex with her but didn’t. I’m sure this guy is because of her sudden romantic feelings for him.
Wait a minute
You didn’t even f~~~ her?
You’re mooning like this over that c~~~ and you didn’t even F~~~ HER?
Jesus H. Titty F~~~ing Christ.
For awhile I was the guy who could make her laugh at anything or laugh whenever things were bad.
There was a guy before you that her laugh and there’s a guy after you that makes her laugh and they both F~~~ HER. Christ.
You see, my problem is that I’m loyal and I tend to fall hard and over think things.
Yes, you do overthink things. Here’s something new to think about; Do you think she may have dumped you because you weren’t f~~~ing her?
You’re in your late 30s, she’s in her 40s, you’re both not kids, and this isn’t middle school anymore. You should have been f~~~ing her by the second “date” if not earlier.
I need to replace her.
No you don’t. Failing in a new relationship isn’t going to help to get over your failures in your last relationship. Besides, you most likely not f~~~ the new girl and she’d dump you too.
You need to go monk, brother. You need to sit down and get your head straight. You need to do some deep thinking.
I’m no PUA, but the fact that you were not f~~~ing her is beyond me. And I strongly suspect that the fact that you were not f~~~ing her is the reason you two are no longer in a relationship.
Take some time off from the social whirl and get yourself straight.
Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.
So, anyone here gone monk? If so how do you keep your sanity while fighting the urges? How does one go monk in an age where we are constantly reminded of sex?
So, anyone here gone monk? If so how do you keep your sanity while fighting the urges? How does one go monk in an age where we are constantly reminded of sex?
Buy a Fleshlight. Went Camping/Code Bunker mentions that in nearly every post. With a Fleshlight and internet porn you should be able to handle – no pun intended – any urges.
Besides, how did you deal with those urges when you weren’t f~~~ing your girlfriend?
You can also redirect your urges into other activities like exercise.
Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.
Anonymous18My question is this- how do, or did, any of you deal with jealousy back in your dating days? How did you cope with being replaced? What helped you heal?
I went through something virtually identical to your situation and had a very similar reaction to you. So let me be somewhat of help.
It’s not jealousy … its unhealthy attachment to a person who your Human realized wasn’t right for you. But your internal chimp misses the giddy times together. It’s natural. But look inside. And buttf~~~ your inner chimp. No homo. But yea f~~~ him until he STFU. How you do that? Others pointed out: Hit the gym, go for walks, finish any pending projects, hang out with friends, make a hobby or two.
Think of it as working your MGTOW muscles. You don’t get bigger muscles without using them. And they get really big when you lift really hard. That’s all you’re doing here.
I would like to take this quote and use it for my own point (I am sure TaxGuy won’t mind :)) – its simply a learning curve and the first time you have been confronted by the elusive and finicky nature of females. They never internalize the smiles, the affection and moments together. It’s all external for them.
Last week I took a woman out for a weekend, showed her a good time on and off the bedroom, and after claiming some serious emotional ties with me as a person … she has vanished. I just am glad she sucked my dick. My MGTOW muscles are bigger. She was a woman after all.
Don’t worry. You will get there. Eventually. Hang in there.
Thanks everyone. I haven’t had much luck in the dating world so sometimes I do tend to get attached.
Therein lies your problem. The rule of abundance is working against you and for her. You being a man … don’t have women throwing themselves at you. Its designed by nature (Apple in California) but seriously … put yourself out there, get used more and you will start to accept female nature. Your MGTOW muscles are big guns when that happens.
Today was kind of bad for me because I now see them talking and taking breaks together. The relationship is coming out in the open and I’m forced to look at it.
Bruh …. I totally admit to crying like a little bitch when I first had my blue pilled mangina heart broken. But you sound like a total bitch here. And its coming from a former bitch of bitches. Don’t mind.
For awhile I was the guy who could make her laugh at anything or laugh whenever things were bad. I’m not that guy anymore and it sucks. You see, my problem is that I’m loyal and I tend to fall hard and over think things. I shouldn’t feel nearly as crappy as I do about this yet I do.
You are not loyal. You are desperate. You feel bad because you can no longer be a utility for a woman who would rather use another man for her pleasure. You are willing to be a doormat that she may or may never use again.
I’m trying here. This situation has taught me just how weak I am. I take no pride in that.
It’s a phase. Fight it. I felt about a woman like you do now. I ignored her. As hard as it was. I did. She eventually wrote to me and heard nothing back. You are a man. You are born with token self-respect that came with the pair of b~~~~. Toughen up and the s~~~storm and the messed up feelings will subside.
Sorry if I sound too harsh…. I just had a glimpse of blue pilled mangina of my old self and couldn’t help beat it down. Such a bitch life that was.
Wait a minute
You didn’t even f~~~ her?
You’re mooning like this over that c~~~ and you didn’t even F~~~ HER?
Jesus H. Titty F~~~ing Christ.
So much ^^this.
@arrowtotheknee: If she was ever going to f~~~ you, she would have done it in the first week. It doesn’t matter how “close” you thought you were. All that means is she was very good at stringing you along while she milked you for everything she could get.
From where I’m standing this new guy did you a favor by sparing you the hassle of dumping that bitch. Or the pain of being her chump walking wallet forever. Or the employment s~~~storm that was coming your way because you foolish tried to get involved with a woman where you work.
Never do that.
She is going through a rough time right now
I’ve come to the conclusion that all women are going through a rough time whenever they deem it necessary.
I can appreciate the exception here of her dad dying.However, I’ve never heard, “He is going through a rough time right now.” It’s as though the laydeez have a monopoly on this and full damn well know it. Slam on the brakes, screeeeeeeech, “She’s going through……….
"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."
Lots of good advice here. You don’t sound too harsh, iLearn, what you and others say are the truth. As I said, I know I’m pretty weak right now and I need that swift kick in the ass so I can toughen up and go forward. It’s a matter of killing an unhealthy attachment and yes I miss the giddy times. I wanted to f~~~ her and was very close but she is the one who wanted to wait on that. Since I’m a nice guy (or sucker) and figured I waited this long (been a long time since my last one) I figured I could wait a little longer.
I am still learning from this and I don’t like what I discovered about myself. I’ve got work to do. Coming here has been beneficial and I hope to improve myself. I am dreading this fall as it gets dark earlier and that will cut down on outdoor activities. Lately, I can’t sit at home at night and feel the need to go do something. I already have a gym membership, but I will need more nocturnal activities. I’ve been going to a pub a few nights a week for a beer and food and will continue that. I plan to maybe go to a movie once a week. I want to do things and just enjoy my own company.
Thanks for the ass kicking folks, I need it.
Hey Arrow, to me it sounds as though she ‘friend-zoned’ you from the start.
Sex wasn’t part of her plan.
If you get on well with her (on a platonic level) and it sounds as though you get on well with the ‘other man’ there’s no reason to stop chatting or hanging out with them.
Your pride has taken a battering in that she’s chosen someone else, but hey, that kind of pride is a monkey you want to ditch as soon as possible. That kind of pride makes us do bad things!
I hear what you’re saying about the long, dark nights alone at home.
Going to a bar for company is a temporary – and risky – solution.
That has been a dangerous road for many men.
What if you were to take a part-time job BEHIND the bar? That way you’ll get the pleasure of company without the risks.
Even volunteer at a local soup kitchen or whatever just to get the hell out and have some human interaction.
Volunteering tends to attract reasonably decent people and if you are intent on a relationship with a woman you might meet one who has at least some small bit of compassion!...And in our own despair, against our will, Comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God. - Agamemnon; by Aeschylus
Well, she has an interesting way of keeping friends! lol There was definitely some physical activity but the proverbial train derailed before it hit the station. I wouldn’t say I was friend zoned. I do get along with both but I’m still at the stage where the idea of them still makes me kind of uncomfortable. I hope to overcome that soon and try to get back to ‘normal’ as possible.
As for going to the bar what risks are you talking about? Alcoholism or hooking up with the wrong person?
This! Yeah and the alcoholism thing too!
...And in our own despair, against our will, Comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God. - Agamemnon; by Aeschylus
Think of it as working your MGTOW muscles. You don’t get bigger muscles without using them. And they get really big when you lift really hard. That’s all you’re doing here.
Excellent metaphor. It’s design law — The Law of Exertion. If you exercise your brain to memorize or learn a piece of music it will grow. If you exert muscles they will grow. If you exercise your “will” it will become stronger, etc.
I agree on both parts. But I will take a different approach on this situation. Get it through your head, these women, were NEVER your girlfriend or wife or f~~~buddy. It was only your turn.
If it costs you your peace of mind, then it is too expensive.
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